


How Eren Yeager Got Away With Murder

by Rednight_Hunter



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BDSM, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, But Not Part of that Universe, Choking, Collars, Comeplay, Crimes & Criminals, Deepthroating, Drug Use, Drunk Sex, Half Porn Half Murder Mystery, Hand Jobs, Inspired by How to Get Away With Murder, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, Mirror Sex, Murder, Oral Sex, Organized Crime, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Shower Sex, Smut, Spit Kink, Spitroasting, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teacher-Student Relationship, Threesome - M/M/M, Yes I'm making that a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:04:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 159,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rednight_Hunter/pseuds/Rednight_Hunter
Summary: “Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”On the floor, lifeless eyes stared back up at him.Or, when Eren Yeager started at Trost University, he didn't expect to:1. Actually like his asshole of a roommate.2. Fuck nearly every guy he was friends with.3. Kill one of them.
Relationships: Connie Springer/Eren Yeager, Eren Yeager/Everyone, Erwin Smith/Eren Yeager, Floch/Eren Yeager, Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi/Eren Yeager, Marco Bott/Eren Yeager, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover/Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager
Comments: 378
Kudos: 508





	1. The Case of the Roommate from Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know where this came from, apart from the fact that I wanted to write both a PWP AU and a murder mystery so... Ta Da!
> 
> The premise is inspired by the TV show How to Get Away with Murder, but it's got nothing to do with the characters or the actual plot lines of it, so you definitely don't have to have watched it. This is just a fic about poor little Eren fucking everyone and then getting himself in trouble.
> 
> I'll try to update this weekly, but schedule may be subject to change. Disclaimer: I don't own AoT/SnK, or any of the characters involved.

**Now.**

“Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”

Ignoring the words echoing around the room, Eren tried to focus. His chest was killing him from the earlier blow. They were probably fractured, but it didn’t feel too serious. What concerned him more was the blood dripping down his hand, running over his fingers and then down the knife clutched between them.

On the floor, lifeless eyes stared back up at him.

***

**Then. Nine Weeks Ago**

“Eren? Eren!”

Startled, Eren flinched back in his car seat, remembering where he was. The heavy bustle of people around them on the street signalled that they’d arrived at their destination; the Trost University student housing block. Unfortunately, they were late, and Eren had hoped to beat the mass of students moving in that weekend before classes started on the Monday, but things hadn’t worked out as planned. After being delayed a full day, thanks to one of his father’s patients having a medical emergency, the journey the following day from Shiganshina had been even longer than they’d anticipated, further holding them back.

Which was why Eren, along with the rest of his family, were only arriving at Trost on the Sunday night, with his first class scheduled for the Monday morning.

“Come on, smile!” His mother cheered, as she switched off the ignition and began to climb out of the driver’s seat. Beside her, Eren’s father remained still, as quiet as he’d been on the majority of the trip there, eyes trained down on the documents in front of him.

“You never tell Mikasa to smile more,” Eren grumbled, but was already wincing a little, before sending an apologetic glance to his sister as they climbed out of the care. Carla Yeager was laughing it off, but Eren could see the sharpness in her eyes when she looked at him, letting him know his comment had been out of line. It was obvious it’d been, what with Mikasa had been through before being adopted by his parents.

But Mikasa smiled softly at him. “Come on, let’s get our stuff out.” Of course she wouldn’t hold it against him, and it gave Eren a reason for an honest, genuine grin back as he helped her with the trunk of the car.

Even with both him and Mikasa attending Trost University, they hadn’t brought too much stuff with them, which made unloading it all the easier. His mother helped them, despite Eren shooing her away, what with her bad back and all.

“For god’s sake, Grisha,” Carla chastised, when Eren’s father still stayed in the car. “Get your head out of your notes for one second and come help your children unpack!”

Eren could understand why his father had been so busy, but it still stung a little. There’d been a recent outbreak of flu cases back home, and with the Yeager clinic being overrun with patients as of late, his dad had been hard at work, almost non-stop. The only way he’d been able to make the time to see Eren and Mikasa off was to bring his work with him, namely patient files that he’d been pouring over for the majority of the trip, searching for patterns in the outbreak while other doctors worked busily back in Shiganshina.

Still, Grisha ended up getting out to help them, and by the time they had Eren’s stuff sorted out from Mikasa’s, the crowd of students moving in around them had thinned out a little.

“I’ll help you with your stuff, okay Mikasa?” Carla said, already bending down to grab a few bags in spite of the protests around her. “You help Eren, Grisha, and we’ll meet back here once they’re both moved in.”

In the end, Mikasa carried most of her things, and when the two women left for the all-female building Mikasa had been assigned to, Eren turned to his dad. Grisha Yeager’s fingers were twitching, and although he was already reaching down for Eren’s bags, he kept turning back to glance at the car.

Sighing, Eren placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got this, Dad. Why don’t you get back to your work, and I’ll come find you when I’m done.”

“Eren, you’re my son. I’m perfectly capable of-”

“I know,” Eren interrupted, and he meant it. Although he and his father’s relationship was strained at times, especially as of late, he knew that the man cared for him, loved him. “But your work is important. You gotta beat that bug before too many people get sick.”

Which was how, five minutes later, Eren found himself juggling his bags as he walked across the university campus to his dormitory building. The bags weren’t overly heavy, apart from the one filled with his textbooks, but it was definitely a struggle to carry them all at once. Regretting the decision to park so far away from his building in comparison to Mikasa’s, Eren groaned as he rounded a corner to see his building, even further away than he’d anticipated.

A few steps later, Eren stumbled on a slippery patch of pavement, and swore softly as he almost toppled over, only to be saved by a long, strong arm.

“Are you okay?”

Blushing a little at the embarrassment of almost falling over his own feet, Eren turned to face his saviour, only to flush further. Because the man (and fuck, was he a man) was hot as hell, towering over him with a concerned expression. He had blonde hair that was cropped short, and azure eyes that were framed with the most intense eyebrows that had Eren’s heart racing. The guy looked a fair few years older than Eren, so probably wasn’t a student, but goddamn could Eren see some muscles through that white collared shirt.

Realising that he was staring at the man in stunned silence, Eren blinked and tried to get rid of his deer-in-the-headlights expression.

“Um, yes. Thanks so much for catching me, dude.”

_Ugh, dude_. What was wrong with him?

God, if Mikasa could see him now. While his sister was usually composed and reserved, one thing that would always have her smiling would be how Eren tripped over his own tongue when talking to guys. Even after the experiences he’d had, Eren had never quite mastered the art of it, to the point that even he would laugh at his own words.

What made it worse was that Eren was by no means a virgin, or innocent.

It had started in high school, back in Shiganshina, where Eren had always preferred to blend in with the crowd. He’d never really dated anyone, with no friends or family knowing that he was into guys. Sure, he’d watched a lot of porn, but had never had the courage to act on any crushes he’d had. And there had been quite a few, from the jocks passing by him in the halls to that one quiet nerd in his class that Eren had been weirdly into. He had never acted on anything, of course, not wanting to risk outing himself, and he sat back, convinced that there was no way any of the guys he liked could possibly be gay.

But one day, Eren had heard two girls talking about how Samuel Linke-Jackson on the football team had apparently gotten drunk at a party and accidently outed himself.

Eren had blown Sam that afternoon in the locker room.

It had been a rushed job, and to this day Eren looked back on the whole thing and internally cringed, just as everyone probably did when thinking about their first sexual experience. They’d both been terrified of getting caught, all rushed hands and clumsiness as they tried to get off as soon as possible. Eren had gagged and spluttered on his cock, and not in the hot way, having to pull off every now and then to cough or regain his breath. But Sam had liked it, and had ended up cumming down Eren’s throat, and that was all that really mattered in the end.

It hadn’t ended there. While Eren and Sam had never become a ‘thing’ for one reason or another, the other teen ended up introducing him to a friend of his, Thomas Wagner. Which was how Eren had gotten his first, and only, boyfriend, for all of five months. It’d been exciting, even if they hadn’t had anything in common apart from the fact they were both into guys. They’d go out sometimes, mostly to that one seedy gay bar that didn’t check ID’s all too carefully. But more often than not, the time he spent with Thomas would consist of their hands down each other’s pants, preferring to have sex than to actually bond over anything.

It was clearly not the foundation for a good relationship and well… it hadn’t ended well.

But in the time they’d been going strong, it hadn’t taken long for Mikasa to learn of what he’d been up to. With them living under the same roof, the late nights and hickeys Eren often hid from his parents quickly became evident to her. They were best friends and adopted siblings, so of course she wouldn’t care that he was into guys. They’d never had a deep discussion about it, but at the same time it wasn’t taboo either, which suited Eren just fine. It wasn’t a big deal that he was gay, and the fact that Mikasa thought so as well made him happier beyond anything.

The only other person that knew about Eren being into guys was their other friend, Armin. The guy was Eren’s oldest friend, from when they were kids and even before Mikasa had become part of his family. The three of them had been close, and so it had been bittersweet when Armin had been accepted into a prestigious law degree in Orvud, even further away from Shiganshina than Trost was.

Armin was a genius, plain and simple, and so of course Eren had encouraged him to accept the offer. Even if it had cut him deep to be separated from him. Still, they’d stay in contact of course, and for now Mikasa would be enough support for Eren. She’d moved to Trost solely because he’d wanted to, and had decided to study as an English major. She liked reading, and talking about books, but apart from that, Eren was pretty sure she’d chosen it to stay close to him.

Still, he was glad she wasn’t here to see this embarrassing effort.

But the blonde man just smiled again, kind and knowing. “I’m assuming you’re moving in today? Do you need any help carrying your bags?”

Fuck, his voice was just as sexy as he was. Deep and rich, washing over Eren like warm chocolate. For a second, Eren briefly fantasised about what the man would sound like in the bedroom, before switching his focus back to the situation at hand.

“That would be great, thanks so much!” Eren grinned, trying and failing not to sound too excited.

The older man took most of his stuff, despite Eren protesting that he could manage some. Fighting back the hopeful thought that his actions might’ve been motivated by more than just common kindness, Eren lead the way to his building.

“I hope I’m not taking too much time out of your evening,” he mentioned as they walked, more to break the silence than anything.

“Not at all,” the blonde replied, “I was just on my way home, so this is nothing. Might I ask your name, young man?”

Young man. Ouch, that didn’t bode well for his chances.

“Um, Eren.”

The older man’s eyes twinkled. “Nice to meet you Eren. I’m Erwin.”

Surprisingly, they spent the rest of the walk to Eren’s building in comfortable conversation. When asked, Eren told Erwin about how he was a science major, but refrained from going into too much detail about the details of what that meant. Of how his father had wanted desperately for Eren to follow on his footsteps and work at the Yeager clinic, but Eren hadn’t been able to get the exam marks needed for a medical course. Of how that, in addition to his older brother, Zeke, dropping out of medical school to elope with his girlfriend, had put even more pressure on Eren to excel at Trost and later transfer to study to become a doctor.

Eren didn’t even know if he wanted to be a doctor, but he wasn’t going to dump all of that on Erwin.

“I have a passion for science,” Eren said instead, because that at least was true. “I just don’t know what I want to do with it yet.”

“You’ll get there, Eren, I’m sure. I can already tell that you’re an intelligent young man. Whatever you put your mind to, you’ll be able to achieve it.”

And fuck, Eren as blushing again, because all he wanted to put his mind towards right now was getting Erwin to follow him into his dorm for some ‘college orientation.’ If he had to guess, the man was probably in his early 30’s, and unless Eren had become even more delusional than usual, there was definitely something there.

But he stayed silent with his hopes, and by the time they got to the front door to his building, Erwin as already passing the bags he’d been carrying back to Eren.

“I wish you the best, Eren. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around at some point in time.”

Damn, Eren had really hoped there’d be more than that. But his hopes had been unrealistic at best, so he fought down his frown and instead smiled gratefully at the older man.

“Thanks again for your help, Erwin,” he replied, “you really didn’t have to.”

“Of course I did,” Erwin stated simply and fuck, Eren was _gone_.

***

By the time Eren finally said goodbye to Erwin, after many more thank-you’s and the hope of running into him again, he quickly popped up to his room to dump his stuff. His mom and Mikasa were probably done by now, so Eren only took a small time to survey his room on the way in.

It wasn’t big, but still enough to be liveable. He’d known that he’d have a roommate, but aside from one of the beds having several bags already dumped on it, the room was deserted. Eren quickly shuffled over to what was clearly his bed, noting how the nameless roommate had clearly picked the better side of the room.

Ignoring the fact that if Eren had been in the same situation he would’ve done the exact same thing, he grumpily put his stuff away on the other side of the room, before glancing around. Thankfully, his parents had decided to pay for both him and Mikasa to have private bathrooms, meaning that aside from their roommates, they wouldn’t have to share with anyone else.

After that, he hurried back to the car, where the rest of his family were waiting for him. It was a tearful farewell, mostly from his mom at least, but Eren had also been blinking away the moisture from his eyes as he said goodbye. This was his first time living away from his parents, not to mention his hometown, and to say the least, he was scared. But he held a brave face for them, putting an arm around Mikasa as they waved them off, staying with her until the car had disappeared.

“Try not to get into too much trouble before tomorrow,” Mikasa had quipped as they parted ways afterward.

Eren just flipped her off, but they were both smiling as they went back to their respective dorms. It was already quite late, but they’d had dinner on the way into Trost, meaning Eren could get back to his room to finally relax.

When he did get back to his dorm, it wasn’t empty.

“Are you the dickwad who used my soap?”

Eren paused, the greeting he’d been about to start with already dying on his lips. Because what the fuck, who was this guy?

The man in question, who was clearly his roommate, was glaring at him from where he stood in the doorway to the bathroom, a bottle of liquid soap in his hands. Which, now that he did mention it, Eren had used to briefly to wash his hands, because it had been next to the sink.

“Um, hi?” Eren replied, arching an eyebrow. “And yeah, sorry. I thought it was supplied by the college.” In the guy’s defence, it was clearly a very expensive soap, but Eren had had other things on his mind back then, namely getting back in time to see his parents off. The guy clearly oozed money, and was probably from one of the bigger cities, like Orvud or Stohess.

Instead of shrugging it off, the other man rolled his eyes, grunting as he turned to walk back into the bathroom. Fucking hell, he was a piece of work, and Eren was already cursing his luck because of course he got stuck with this shit of a roommate. The guy was reasonably attractive, with shaggy hair and a long face. He seemed to be a fair bit taller than Eren as well, which at this point was becoming the story of his life.

A few minutes later, as Eren was unpacking his clothes into what he gathered was his wardrobe, the guy walked back into the room again. He didn’t acknowledge Eren, instead padding over to his own bed, still seemingly angry as he rifled through his stuff.

After several minutes of awkward silence, during which Eren had texted Mikasa as to how much his life sucked right now, the guy spoke up again.

“So what’s your name, then?”

Seriously?

Still, Eren did his best to put on a kind face as he glanced back up. “I’m Eren. Yeager. Nice to meet you.”

“Whatever,” the guy replied, still scowling, “I’m Jean. Try not to piss me off any more than you already have, okay?”

Yeah okay. Eren fucking hated this guy and his fucking horseface.

***

Jean didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night, and the next morning was gone by the time Eren had gotten out of bed. Which squandered Eren’s plan to make nice with him over breakfast after a night’s sleep, so he started the day off in a slightly bad mood. Even the fact that Jean was gone that early was crazy, because Eren had a 9am lecture, and so was up even before then.

Still, he blearily wandered down to the communal cafeteria alone, quickly shovelling down a bowl of cereal and some coffee before leaving for class. He’d decided to do a history elective in addition to his science subjects, which because he hadn’t selected a specific major yet, gave him a relatively sparse timetable. With the lecture being the only class that day for him, Eren really had no excuse not to go, so tiredly made his way across campus.

He only got lost once, but by the time he got there the lecturer still hadn’t arrived. Eren immediately went to sit in the middle of the theatre, not wanting to be right at the front but also knew if he was in the back he’d likely slack off.

Happy that he’d managed to make it okay to his first class, Eren felt his grumpy mood begin to lift. At least something was going right for him now.

Of course, it was then that life would have another thing coming for him.

“Good morning class,” a deep voice announced from behind him, as the lecturer entered the room. And although Eren had immediately placed it, his hair feeling like it was standing on end, the next words confirmed his fears. “I’m professor Erwin Smith, and I’ll be taking this subject for the semester.”

Yeah, he was screwed.

***

When Eren made it back to his dorm after class and grabbing lunch, he’d all but fallen onto his bed in mental exhaustion. Because well… fuck. He’d spent the majority of the lecture in stunned silence, thankful that it was only an introductory class and so not too much had actually happened, beyond going through the syllabus. He’d managed to take a few notes, but every time he tried to concentrate, Erwin’s voice would always remind him of exactly who it was doing the teaching.

What had Eren been thinking, not even asking Erwin yesterday what he did? He’d assumed that the man was merely a TA or senior student, because what college professor would help carry a students bags? They’d spent the whole interaction talking about Eren, with Erwin dodging most attempts to ask about him. And right there should’ve been a red flag, but Eren had been so head over heels that he’d barely noticed.

Shit, he was sooo fucked.

Erwin had definitely noticed Eren’s presence, judging by the few times his eyes had landed on him. To the older man’s credit, there’d been no visible reaction the first time he’d seen Eren, beyond a slight pause in his words, which was natural enough that the rest of the class wouldn’t have noticed. His expression had been calm and composed the entire time, a mask to stop anyone from knowing what he was really thinking. But to Eren, that just made him even hotter.

Of course, Eren had done the only sensible thing and hightailed it out of there the moment the lecture finished. He wasn’t proud of it, but the moment Erwin had winded down his class, the panic of potentially talking to him had rushed up on Eren and yeah, he needed to leave.

Thankfully, his asshole of a roommate wasn’t around when he got back, so Eren immediately started to undress.

Jean had his timetable stapled to the wall above his desk, so after double-checking that he wouldn’t be back till much later that afternoon, Eren finished stripping off completely.

Fully naked, he didn’t hesitate to flop onto his bed, lying back as he reached down to stroke his already hard cock. He closed his eyes, imagining that it was Erwin holding him, his long, thick fingers dancing over his shaft. Just the thought alone made Eren groan, and he sped his hand up as he jacked himself off. Opening his eyes again, Eren looked down at his body, the way his abs rippled as he moved, how his fingers gripped his cock. He knew he had a nice dick, thick and a little above average in length, enough to satisfy anyone but not too big to make things impossible.

By all accounts, he knew he was a catch. Yet he never knew how to handle himself around men, too nervous and anxious in every interaction. He wasn’t completely pathetic, after all, Samuel and Thomas were reminders of his success, but it seemed that more often than not, Eren’s attitude would be his downfall. The case of Thomas had been… excessive, and was something that Eren definitely regretted.

He was doing better now, at least. But it was still a dark patch in his life.

And now, with Erwin on his mind, Eren felt even worse, the mistake of jacking off to his _college professor_ that was officially unattainable. His hand stuttered, and Eren stopped entirely, just staring down at the run of dark hair on his naval as he thought his life over. The best choice of action would be to stop any further thoughts of Erwin (Professor Smith, he reminded himself) before he got too attached. If he could nip the attraction in the bud, before it grew into something more, then perhaps he’d have a chance at not becoming a complete mess.

Already, Eren knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Noticing that he was no longer as hard as he had been, Eren shook his head, before reaching for his phone. Shoving the complicated thoughts out of his head, he instead focused on the most pressing matter, which right now was his libido. Rubbing his cock to get himself going again, Eren quickly tapped in the first porn site that came to mind, before choosing a video that stood out to him. The fact that it was of a larger blonde man and a smaller dark-haired man was something he’d ignore for now.

The similarities ended there, but Eren still felt himself grow hard again as he watched the brunette on screen blow the blonde. He lightly stroked his cock again, his breath hitching as the video went on, and the guy began to deepthroat the cock in his mouth. Eren sped up his pace, watching the scene all the while, and it wasn’t long until he was stifling a groan as he came, thick ropes of seed splashing over his abs and chest.

Eren’s hand shakily slowed down, as his sensitive cock gradually began to soften. After a short moment of just lying there, Eren threw his phone to the side and got up to walk to the bathroom. As he reached the wide mirror above the sink, he paused, surveying himself.

He knew he was good looking, objectively at least. He’d gotten good genes from his parents, and Thomas and everyone else that had been interested in him had made sure to let him know that. He’d gotten more muscular since finishing high school, not overly so, but enough that the bulk in his shoulders and pecs still seemed alien to him. He was shorter than most, but Eren was okay with that, and knew that if it came down to looks, he was in pretty good hands.

But as he glanced over the drying cum on his stomach, Eren couldn’t help but feel disheartened, because he felt empty inside. He knew he was missing out on something, that everyday spark of life that had eluded him for so long. For ages, he’d assumed that it was because he’d kept his sexuality bottled up form everyone, and that now that he was at university, he could finally live true to himself.

Yet here he was on his first day in, with his roommate hating him and his only other meaningful interaction being with a fucking lecturer. No matter what he did, he was disappointing someone, and the thought ate him up on the inside.

Fuck, he was such a whiny bitch. Eren had a fucking good life. He knew that. And so he shook his head, clearing any negativity from his thoughts as he stepped into the shower.

It wasn’t until hours later, when Jean got back, that things finally began to turn around.

In the time after getting out of the shower, Eren had busied himself with preparing for his first chemistry class the next day. It’d been while rearranging his stuff around that he’d noticed a flyer tucked under a book on Jean’s desk, and after debating the morality of the situation, had decided to take a peek.

What he’d seen had given him food for thought, so when Jean got back, he was ready.

“Are you thinking of joining the GSA then?”

Jean flinched back like he’d been shot, and Eren winced a little even if he knew it was the right way to go about it. He’d been surprised to see the flyer for the Trost Gay-Straight alliance on his desk, but after thinking about it, Eren had come to the conclusion that it was the best thing he could’ve hoped for. Between lounging around the room that afternoon, he’d spent most of his time working out the best way to broach the subject with Jean, which clearly wasn’t going the way he’d planned.

Unfortunately, Jean got defensive, very quickly.

“Looking through people’s stuff now, are you?” He growled, looking furious. But Eren could see the terror behind his glare, and immediately put his hands up in a surrender motion.

“Hey, hey,” he began, “I noticed it while setting up my stuff. It’s not my fault you spread your shit out over both of our desks.”

“Yeah, well…” Jean faltered, clearly not sure what to respond with. He deflated, and immediately Eren’s heart went out to him, because he could see a lot of himself in the guy. They clearly both had issues with handling their emotions, even if Eren was doing a better job at it then Jean. Not to mention the other glaring elephant in the room.

From the start, Eren had planned on being open with others about his sexuality, now that he was out of Shiganshina. He’d grown up in a relatively isolated town, and so apart from Sam and Thomas and a few others he’d met out at clubs, there hadn’t been very many gay people. Even less that were out and proud. But with Trost, somewhere much more urban, Eren had hoped that he’d be able to live the life he’d wanted to.

Of course, hypothetically talking about it was much easier than being the moment, right now.

Jean looked like he was torn between throwing himself out the window and attacking Eren right then and there, so Eren steeled himself. It was now or never.

“If you have a problem with me, Yeager, then say it right now. I’ll knock you on your ass clean and-”

“I’m gay too.”

Jean’s false bravado was cut off, and for a few awkward seconds he stared at Eren in silence. Eren swallowed, not really sure what to say to the guy. Mikasa and Armin had reacted with overwhelming positivity, and while Jean clearly played for the same team as him, the guy had been nothing short of rude for the full day they’d known each other.

Whatever Eren had been expecting, it wasn’t for Jean to start pissing himself laughing.

“Fucking hell, I’m going to be stuck with you, aren’t I.”

To say the next few minutes were odd would be the understatement of the year, because for some reason Jean decided to actually be somewhat civil to him. Sure, he still reeked of the smarmy, rich boy that Eren had pegged him for the previous night. But Eren could also see, now at least, that the guy was insecure as fuck, and at least half of his dickhead attitude was in protection of himself.

It reminded Eren of himself, back in high school. When he’d been the one to combat weakness with anger.

“I’m not gay, you know.” Jean had said, later that night. When Eren looked up in alarm, the other guy chuckled. “Well, not completely. I’m into guys, but also girls as well. I wanted to check out the GSA because, well, I’ve never really explored that side of myself before.”

Eren nodded, understanding. He could just picture Jean, growing up with all the privilege in the world, more than happy to conform to the part of himself that society wanted. If anything, it made Eren like him more for wanting to break the mould, even though he’d never admit it to the asshole. When he was silent, the moment he’d been hoping for finally came along.

“Um. Do you want to come with me? The introductory meeting for freshman is tomorrow afternoon.”

And yeah, Eren did. With one stipulation, though.

“Can I bring someone?”

***

“I think this is really good, Eren. I’m so glad you’re doing this.”

Mikasa’s words made Eren flush, especially because Jean was standing right there. God, whatever cool points he’d earnt in the guy’s book were surely down the drain by now, even if only because of the way Mikasa was doting on him. Sure, he wouldn’t have it any other way, and the amount she cared for him meant the world to him, but sometimes when they were with other people, well… it was just embarrassing.

The three of them were stood outside the room that had been listed on the flyer. Eren had breezed through his chemistry classes that day, both because he was legitimately passionate about the subject, and due to the anticipation for that afternoon. But right now, he was nervous as hell, and judging by the way Jean was shuffling on his feet, the other man was in the same boat.

When neither Jean or Eren replied to Mikasa, she frowned.

“You two are quiet.”

“I’m fine,” they both mumbled back, almost at exactly the same time.

Eren was relieved to see that Jean’s shitty attitude towards him hadn’t extended to Mikasa, where the guy had been almost _too_ polite. Between complimenting her hair and asking her questions on the way over, it was clear he had a tiny crush on her, which was something Eren didn’t know how to feel about. Jean had been happy to hear that not only was Mikasa Eren’s sister, but that she also made up the ‘S’ portion of the GSA. Still, it was just a puppy crush, and Eren knew that at the moment, it was harmless.

Mikasa was clearly indifferent towards him, something which Eren took to mean that she didn’t feel the same way, and this was certainly not the first time a guy had been interested in her.

There were a few other people milling about the halls, and although Eren had been tempted to go up and introduce himself, Jean had held him back. It was clear that the other man was still insecure about himself, and without knowing whether the random people around were joining the GSA or not, Eren could understand.

Still, he was a little disappointed. The guy and the girl across the hall that were throwing popcorn into each other’s mouths looked really fun.

Eventually, the door to the room opened, and a girl that looked a few years older than Eren walked out. She was a brunette with glasses, and already she was smiling so widely that Eren felt weirdly worried.

“Are you guys here for the GSA? Come on in!”

Jean flushed and looked away, but Mikasa strode on in, grabbing Eren’s hand to tug him behind her. Without waiting to see whether their companion was following them, Mikasa practically dragged Eren to one of the empty tables. The room was mostly empty, except for a few people milling about in the back, as well as a pair of girls cuddling on the loveseat in the corner. The room itself was colourful and welcoming, with dozens of sofas littered about for people to hang out on, as well as tables set up with snacks for whoever was attending.

Thankfully, Jean clearly mustered up the courage to enter, and was already taking a seat beside Mikasa when a loud shout boomed from behind them.

“Ohmygod, Wedges!”

Eren jumped a little in alarm, as a young brunette girl all but ran to one of the empty tables, before practically shoving her face into a bowl of potato wedges that had been placed there. A short guy with a buzzcut joined her a few seconds later, and Eren realised that it was the pair that had been throwing the popcorn around in the hallway earlier.

The guy at least had the decency to look sheepish, as he took a few hot wedges. The girl, on the other hand, was lost to the bowl.

A few more people slowly milled into the room, some of them as shy as Jean, but most looked like they weren’t strangers to the place. As the room filled up to about twenty or so people, the girl with glasses from earlier walked to the front of the room.

“Hi everyone!” She shouted, the genuine enthusiasm evident in her voice. “I’m so excited to see so many new faces around, as well as some familiar ones. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Hanji Zoë, the president of Trost University’s Gay-Straight Alliance!”

“So, the first thing I want to make clear to everyone is that this is a safe place, first and foremost. I know all of you will have vastly different backgrounds to each other, and so know that beyond anything else, we are a family here. You can share as much as you want, or if you just want to observe that’s fine too. Also, this is a safe space for anyone, not just members of the LGBT+ community.”

Hanji kept talking, and although Eren did listen, he also surveyed the room. It was clear that most of the new freshman were the ones around the tables at the front, while a lot of people that had been there before stayed at the back. The two girls on the couch were still cuddling, with the taller brunette whispering something into the blonde’s ear that made her giggle under her breath. There were a lot of guys, too, and despite himself Eren’s heart began to race a little, both at the thought of being honest with so many people, and also at the collective hotness of everyone around him.

If he couldn’t get a guy from this group, then surely all hope was lost, right?

As Hanji explained the rules of the club, Eren’s attention was drawn to a guy in the back corner. He was so surreptitious that Eren hadn’t even seen him enter or notice him until now. The guy was short, shorter than Eren probably, with pale skin and dark hair in a faded undercut. He was staring at Hanji with a bored expression, but all Eren could think was that _he wanted_.

The guy oozed danger.

“So, before we officially start,” Hanji continued, “I wanted to announce that in a few months from now, we’ll be having a fundraiser in support of disadvantaged and troubled youths. We did it for the first time last year, and it was a massive success, so with the Dean’s and the university’s support, we’re looking to make it an annual event. It’s a huge outdoor barbeque with activities and drinking games available to the campus, and we’ll be looking for volunteers to help make it happen.”

“Trust me, it’s amazing. Everyone should definitely come,” a quiet, nerdy looking guy spoke up from the back of the room.

“Thanks, o’boyfriend of mine,” Hanji beamed, before continuing. “So I want to run through a little thing now where we each introduce ourselves to the group, and maybe a few facts about ourselves. I know it can be scary, so we’ll start with some of the oldies first, and if you don’t want to speak then that’s perfectly fine.”

Clearing her throat, Hanji continued. “So, as I said before, I’m Hanji Zoë. I’m transgender, and have been officially out for the past five years. I joined the GSA in my freshman year, and it’s been the best four years of my life. I’m a chemistry major, so if there’s any other science nerds around, I’m sure you’ll be sick of me by the end of the year.”

A few people in the back started clapping, and Eren and the others got the hint to join in. It was nice to see another science student, maybe someone he could get advice from when it came to picking a major. As Hanji left the front, the guy who had spoken up earlier replaced her.

“I’m Moblit Berner. Mostly straight. I joined the GSA in support of my girlfriend, and haven’t looked back since.”

Again, more applause came, and Eren began to see a few people around him shuffle nervously at the thought of speaking up. More people from the back introduced themselves, and although Eren did listen intently, they all began to blur into one.

The short guy from the back didn’t move.

“Reiner Braun,” a blonde guy who was built like an ox announced, confidently. “I’m gay, joined the GSA last year with my best friend, whose not here today. If you see me around campus, come say hey. And come support the Trost Titans,” he cheered, namedropping the university football team, which he clearly played for judging by the jacket he was wearing. As he walked away again, Eren had to check to see if he was drooling, because fucking hell. A quick glance at Jean showed that the guy was similarly transfixed.

“Ymir,” Hanji suddenly shouted from the back, pointing to the two girls on the loveseat, “get up, its your turn.”

“Fuck off!” The brunette girl shouted back, much to Eren’s shock. A nervous laughter rippled through the room, but eventually the girl’s companion, the tiny blonde, got her up to the front.

“Hi, everyone,” the blonde said cheerfully, her voice light and squeaky. “I’m Historia, and this is my girlfriend Ymir.” The brunette, Ymir, just grunted next to her. “Like Reiner and Hanji said, please come say hello to us, and feel free to hang out in this room whenever you want.”

A few more people went after them, but as the flow of speakers began to die down, it became clear that it was almost time for the freshman to get up there. Eren steeled his nerves, and after a pretty blonde said her piece, was surprised to see the short guy with the buzzcut stand up.

“Woo,” Hanji cheered from the back, “the first Freshman!”

When the guy got to the front, he smiled widely. “Um, hi.” He paused, and after a small chuckle from the audience, continued. “I’m Connie Springer. I’m into guys, mostly. I came here with my friend, whose the one with her face still stuffed in the bowl of wedges. Get your ass up here, Sasha!”

That got another laugh from people, Eren included. And when the brunette girl, Sasha, was eventually dragged to the front, she still had a handful of potato in her palm. “Hi, I’m Sasha! I like food and girls, in that order.”

The two were clearly a big hit, and already it was clear that their enthusiasm was infectious. Already, Eren wanted to be friends with them, and as they walked back to their table, he shot the guy, Connie, a grin, which he returned.

To Eren’s surprise, Mikasa was the next to rise from her seat. She calmly walked up, and when she talked, it was with a confidence that Eren wished he had.

“Hi,” Mikasa stated simply, from the front. “I’m Mikasa Yeager. I’m straight. Here to support my brother. Oh, and I’m a literature major.”

She glanced at Eren meaningfully, and he realised that she’d gotten up as a way to get him to talk. It wasn’t pressuring as much as encouraging, and Eren gulped and glanced at Jean, who looked as white as chalk. Feeling his heart thump in chest, he made the walk up, feeling like was going in slow motion.

This was it.

“Hey guys,” he began, before swallowing. Looking around the room, he could see everyone’s eyes on him. Fuck, he wasn’t sure he could do this. Hanji was smiling encouragingly, and everyone from Reiner to Connie and Sasha to even Ymir was staring at him.

And then he saw the short guy in the corner glance his way. Piercing brown eyes locked onto his, and Eren swore he saw the guy smile slightly.

“I’m Eren Yeager. I’m a science student, and I’m gay.”

There was a moment’s silence. And then, contrary to every nightmare Eren had ever had regarding this moment, the audience _clapped_ for him.

Mikasa was hugging him, whispering how proud she was of him. And as they walked back to their seats, Connie held his hand out for a hi-five, which Eren reciprocated, still feeling in a daze. He was only one of many, of course, and so as quick as his applause had come, it stopped for the next person to appear after them, but Eren felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

He was so wrapped up in what had happened that he almost missed Jean, who all but ran up to the front, mumbled “Jean Kirschtein. Global studies. Bi,” before dashing back to his spot. Eren cheered for him, and patted him on the back in comfort, and to his surprise, the guy shot him a thankful smile.

A few more people went after them, until Hanji eventually came back up to the front.

“That was fantastic, guys! I don’t think we’ve ever had this much buzz around a new group of freshmen, so feel proud of yourselves. Everyone, make yourselves at home and get to know your new family, and once again I want to remind everyone of the fundraiser coming up in just nine weeks!”

As she walked over to chat to a few freshmen in the front row, Connie and Sasha made their way over to Eren, Mikasa and Jean. They both had massive grins on their faces, and as Sasha began to tuck into the bowl of food at their table, Eren grinned.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

The two immediately started chatting away, and already Eren felt at ease. He glanced to Mikasa, who was staring back at him with a soft expression. When they made eye contact she smiled with pride.

“Oi,” Ymir shouted from the corner a moment later, and Eren turned to see who she was yelling at. “Levi, can you pass us the bowl of chips?”

To Eren’s surprise, it was the short guy in the corner who responded. “Get ‘em yourself, you lazy bitch.”

Ymir screeched something back, and was looking like she wanted to pounce, with only Historia holding her back. The people around them didn’t seem to care, so Eren assumed it was a common occurrence. Ymir seemed like… a lot to handle.

Besides, he now had a name.

Levi.

Yeah, suffice to say, Eren’s day had turned around.

***

**Now.**

“Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”

Glancing up from the dead body at his feet, Eren looked at the man in front of him. Levi’s face was caked in blood, most of which wasn’t his own. His usually perfectly styled hair was in disarray, and bruises were already forming around his neck. The fact that they were shaped like finger marks was clear as day.

Outside, what seemed like a firework went off, and a loud cheer followed. The GSA fundraiser was clearly still going as strong as ever, but right now all Eren cared about was fighting the panic forming in his chest.

“I-” he started, before halting, because he was choking on vomit. “He was going to kill you, Levi.”

The ragged rise and fall of Levi’s chest was clear. “You killed him, Eren. You _killed_ him.”

Eren swallowed, his throat feeling like sandpaper. In his hand, the knife continued to drip blood onto the wooden floor.


	2. The Window of Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on, Levi, you do both! What’s harder, giving head to a guy or a girl?”
> 
> Eren spluttered in surprise at the blatant question, trying not to cough up the gulp of beer he’d just taken. But Levi didn’t appear flustered at all, and just reclined back with his usual deadpan expression.
> 
> “Can’t say I’ve found either particularly taxing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter 2 on schedule! Thanks so much for all the support and kind words on the previous chapter, it made writing this much more rewarding. Hope you enjoy!

**Then. Nine Weeks Ago**

“That’s amazing Eren! I’m so proud of you!”

From the computer screen, Armin’s face beamed out at him, warming Eren even more. On the other end of the call, Armin was sitting in his own dorm room in Orvud University, one of the most prestigious institutions in the country. They’d been on the call for at least twenty minutes now, but aside from Jean’s annoyed huff from his bed, Eren was content to keep it going.

God, he’d missed his best friend.

“I’m so glad that you were able to find the courage to do that, Eren. I mean it. And it sounds like you have a pretty good support group around you there. I’m a little jealous,” Armin said, laughing a little.

If Armin had been there, that day would’ve been perfect. It was the unspoken thing Eren hadn’t said, but it was clear the words hung over them, and that Armin missed him and Mikasa as much as they did him. He’d been at Orvud for a little over a month now, having started before Eren and Mikasa, but it already seemed like he was settling in fine. Not even that, but he was thriving. And Eren was so glad for him, honestly.

He just wished it could’ve been a little closer to him.

“Thanks, A,” Eren grinned back. “But we’ve been talking about me all day. How’s class going? Is Marlowe still annoying the shit out of you?”

Armin groaned and threw his head down on his desk, before launching into a story about how his class rival had once again talked back to him in front of everyone, trying to prove him wrong publicly during a tute. Eren sympathised, he really did, but at the same time he was glad to see Armin being intellectually challenged. Out of everyone, he’d been the one destined for greater things than Shiganshina, where his smarts had gone unrivalled.

The fact that he was among people like him, people that could stimulate greatness from him, made Eren proud. Even if they did sound like dicks.

“… Hitch was able to talk him down, though. Thank god. If it wasn’t for her, I’d have punched Marlowe by now.”

Even just trying to visualise Armin _punching_ _anyone_ was enough to have Eren giggling, and when he finally stopped, Armin was mock glaring at him.

Still…

“So, Hitch, huh?” Eren began, smirking a little when Armin just looked confused. “Don’t tell me you’ve finally found a girl that you like?”

And damn, Armin _still_ wasn’t getting flustered at that. He’d never seemed to worry about girls, despite the fact that he was straight as an arrow. Eren and Mikasa were still waiting for the day when Armin would fall for someone, which was looking more and more like something that would happen when hell froze over.

“I’m too busy to worry about something like that, Eren,” Armin replied. “But we do have a break between semesters coming up, so I was thinking I’d come see you and Mikasa during then if you’re not too busy.”

Oh, fuck yes. Eren beamed, thrilled at the thought of getting to see his best friend. “When’s your break?”

Armin rattled off the date, and Eren’s grin widened. “Perfect! The GSA is doing a fundraiser thing during that week at the college campus, so there’ll be drinking games and activities and all kinds of stuff.”

They continued to work out the details for several more minutes, before Armin grinned a little evilly.

“So… have you found a guy yet? Surely with the club you’ll be able to find _someone_ that’s interested in you.” Armin brought up as Eren snorted, but thought of Erwin again. Shit, he’d been doing so good at keeping his professor out of his mind for the last few days. He hadn’t told Mikasa, Armin or Jean about him, and hopefully, his crush would die off and he wouldn’t have to. Not to mention, his behaviour was embarrassing as hell. He’d had two more history lectures with Erwin since the first Monday, both of which he’d spent dodging his professor’s gaze, and had hightailed it out of the moment the lectures finished.

And then there was Levi, the mysterious guy from the GSA meeting. After the meeting had finished, Eren had looked out for him, only to find that the short man had ducked away sometime earlier. Still, Levi had intrigued him, partly because he was hot as hell, but for another reason as well that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“What about the hot roommate?” Armin continued.

Eren was glad he had his headphones in, because he did not want Jean thinking they were his words, when in fact they’d come from Armin himself, after seeing Jean walk by in the background earlier. Still, he snickered and glanced at Jean, who was reading a book on his bead.

“Who, Jean?” That got the guy’s attention, and he glanced over Eren’s way. “Nah, I’d rather go for someone who doesn’t hang out in the stables and eat hay.”

“Oh, fuck off, Yeager!”

***

“So,” Mikasa said to him, as they both sat down for lunch at a campus café, “I heard that Armin’s coming down here in a few month’s time.”

“Yeah,” Eren cheered, sipping at his coffee. “I talked to Jean about it, and he says it’s okay if Armin stays with us. I’ll see if we can find a spare mattress, or otherwise we’ll just share my bed.”

“Wow, I can’t believe Jean agreed to that.”

And Eren was with her on that, because the change in Jean’s attitude to him had been pretty evident over the last few days. Since the Tuesday GSA meeting, he’d been much more tolerable, even if he still had the snark that he’d started with. But now, it was in more of a teasing manner, to the point that three days later, Eren actually somewhat enjoyed spending time with him.

Sure, they’d had more than one explosive fight since then, mostly due to their similar personalities than anything else. It was usually Jean complaining about Eren being ‘a slob’, or using something that was his, but the bite had been taken out of his bark, and most of the time Eren didn’t mind it. Sure, it wasn’t even a full week into their time living together, but now that they’d established a rapport, Eren was confident they could keep things going.

Hell, if push came to shove, Eren would even call Jean his friend.

It was better than Mikasa had, that was for sure. He hadn’t met her roommate yet, some girl called Mina, but apparently she barely talked and spent every waking hour on the phone to her boyfriend. It was safe to say that Mikasa wasn’t a fan.

“I know, it surprised me too. I guess I’m growing on him.”

And Mikasa, in only the way Mikasa could, smiled at him genuinely. “It’s impossible for anyone not to like you, Eren.”

Fuck, he was blushing again.

But Mikasa was already changing the topic. “So Sasha texted me earlier today. Apparently that Historia girl is having a get together at her house tomorrow night, and wanted to spread the word through to everyone.”

“Historia?” Eren questioned, remembering the small, quiet blonde. “And since when were you and Sasha messaging each other?”

It was nice, if surprising, to know that Mikasa was making friends outside of him. Eren had always wanted her to keep reaching outside her comfort zone, even if right now he was feeling slightly jealous. Because apart from adding them on the various social medias, he hadn’t spoken to either Connie or Sasha since the meeting.

But then Eren thought back to that meeting, and remembered that after finally being torn away from the food being offered around, Sasha had become transfixed with Mikasa. Even more intensely than Jean had been. And unlike Jean, she had not been subtle in her crush on Mikasa.

“Apparently Historia’s dad is Rod Reiss, the Dean of the university.”

Oh, Eren hadn’t known that. Probably another reason the GSA received so much funding.

“So? Do you want to go?”

Remembering the point of the conversation, Eren paused. He _did_ want to go, but fucking hell was it nerve-racking to imagine himself there, surrounded by people he barely knew. The meeting had been one thing, specifically designed for new freshmen like him. But this would be different, probably filled mostly with people who’d known each other for years, and all at once Eren felt like he was back in high school.

Still, if he never made the effort, then nothing would change.

“Do you want to go?” He asked back.

“I want to go if you want to go.”

Well, that settled it then.

“I’ll text Jean, see if he’s game. Worst case scenario, it sucks, and we go get drunk at a nearby bar or something.”

***

It seemed almost too good to be true, if Eren was being honest.

By the time he was four beers in, his nerves had settled, but the sheer peculiarity of the situation was still baring down on him. All around him, people were drinking and chatting and laughing, a pleasant hum filling the apartment. Eren recognised most of them, at least by their faces from the GSA meeting he’d been to. The rest he assumed were friends of either Historia or Hanji. The apartment itself was huge, easily big enough to fit all twenty-something of them in, and Eren was a little jealous that Historia got to live here, compared to his meagre dorm with Jean.

What little awkwardness Eren had felt upon arrival had been quickly washed away when Sasha and Connie had rushed up to the three of them. Eren had been planning on staying glued to Mikasa’s side all night, but Sasha had dragged her away not long after. Luckily, Connie talked enough for the both of him and Jean, so they’d settled in relatively quickly.

To Eren’s surprise, Mikasa had settled in nicely as well. By now, Sasha was back with him, Jean and Connie, but Mikasa remained near the kitchen on the other side of the room, seemingly talking to an angry-looking girl with blond hair. They seemed to be a good match for one another, and when Eren had met Mikasa’s eyes across the room a few minutes ago, the girl had smiled encouragingly at him to let him know she was fine.

Which was good, because Eren was getting fucking demolished at whatever bullshit drinking game Connie had pulled out of his ass.

“Fuck off!” He shouted as he guessed the wrong card once again, downing a bit more of his drink as penance. Beside him, Jean was cackling at his bad luck, and Connie was grinning proudly.

“I told ya, dude,” Connie shouted with a smirk, “this game fucks you up!”

“It’s not even a game though! There’s no skill involved, it’s just luck.”

Connie just laughed, holding the deck of cards out to Jean. “Red or black?”

As Jean took his turn at Connie’s ‘game’, Eren turned his attention to the rest of the room. In addition to Sasha next to them, busy with a bowl of chips she’d gotten from somewhere, Eren had briefly chatted to Historia, and had said hi to Hanji when she’d passed by. He still felt like an outsider to the group, who seemed to know each other well, but to his surprise he didn’t feel awkward about it. It was probably the beer, but Eren was still reeling from the fact that the people in this room, or most of them at least, were like him. Coming from a small town like Shiganshina, where it hadn’t been okay to be out and proud, it was jarring to be around so many people that were just… open about it.

Because Eren could see Reiner, the muscular blonde guy he remembered from the first meeting, snuggling up to another man on a sofa, in a way that was definitely not heterosexual. It was almost funny, how no one seemed to give a fuck, and Eren half-expected it all to be one big joke, that suddenly everyone would ask him what he was doing. But no one called Reiner out, and the tall, dark-haired man who was the recipient of his touches looked more than content to be there.

“Hell yeah!” Jean’s roar brought Eren back to the game, and to his surprise he found that the guy had managed to get through all five rounds of card-guessing, which to be honest was bullshit.

When Eren voiced that thought, Jean just cackled again. “Don’t be a salty little shit, Yeager, it’s not endearing.” And fuck, that smug tone made Eren want to smack Jean. But he held back his anger, something he’d been getting better at recently, and just settled for a mock glare that the other man laughed off.

“Your turn, Sasha,” Connie directed, but the girl in question seemed to be in a whole other world. When Connie punched her lightly on the shoulder, she startled and stood up.

“Gimme a sec, I’m gonna see if Mikasa wants to come play.”

When she left, Eren turned to Connie, cocking an eyebrow. “Should I be concerned on Mikasa’s behalf?”

To his surprise, Connie just laughed. “It’s just a puppy crush, don’t worry. Sasha looks at baked potatoes the way she’s looking at your sister.”

And even if Eren was still convinced that Mikasa was slowly being courted, he was glad to have her join them again on the floor. The blonde girl she’d been talking to followed along, nodding politely to them but still not smiling. A second later, Mikasa introduced her as Annie, and then Jean and Connie were fighting over what drinking game they were going to play next.

But Eren’s attention wasn’t on the squabble, because Levi had just walked in through the front door. And fuck, Eren was immediately hooked, his eyes locked on the man as he closed the door behind him. He’d come alone, and apart from a brief survey of the room, didn’t seem to be overly interested in the people there as he packed the drinks he’d brought with him into the fridge. Eren knew he shouldn’t be so obvious in his staring, but Levi was captivating, from his piercing eyes and carefully styled hair, to the tight but ripped jeans that hugged his legs. The man screamed dangerous, and Eren was all in on taking that risk.

A shriek cut over the music that was playing, as Hanji teared across the room towards the man. “Levi! You came!”

Hanji wrapped Levi in a strong hug, but Eren noticed that it wasn’t reciprocated. Levi did smirk a little, but otherwise his arms remained at his side. It didn’t seem unkind, but more as if this Levi guy simply didn’t like being hugged.

“Look,” Connie whispered all of a sudden, glancing at Levi as well. “It’s that scary guy again.”

For some reason, Eren felt affronted on Levi’s behalf, even though he could agree that yeah, the guy was intimidating, even for his short stature. However, just as he was about to jump to the man’s defence, he was surprised when Annie spoke up.

“Levi’s been through a lot recently, so watch what you say around him,” she warned them. “Last year was a rough year for him.”

Eren was intrigued, immediately. As the only non-freshmen with them, it made sense that Annie would now more about Levi, but Eren wanted to as well. He knew it was nosy, but he couldn’t help himself.

“What happened?”

Upon looking his way, Eren shrivelled a little under Annie’s intense stare. “I don’t want to speak for him, but if you must know, Levi lost some friends that were important to him. If you want to know more, then ask him yourself.”

As if by a sixth sense, Levi’s disinterested stare turned his way, and Eren flinched slightly, even though he knew he couldn’t actually hear them. It wasn’t a good look to be caught staring, especially when he barely knew anyone in the room. Now feeling a little chastised, and aware he’d been thinking about Levi a little too much, Eren turned back to the group he was with. Jean and Connie had gone back to arguing over what game to play, and to Eren’s surprise Mikasa was watching them with a fond expression.

It made him happy, to see Mikasa this comfortable. Because as temperamental as he’d been growing up, Mikasa had struggled to make friends even more. After her parents’ deaths, she’d closed herself off, and apart from Eren, his parents and Armin, she rarely made an effort. But right now, as Connie waved his hands around in an exaggerated manner at Jean’s perplexed expression, Eren was glad she was having fun. Mikasa had been reluctant to leave Shiganshina, but ultimately would’ve gone wherever Eren went. And once again, Eren was reminded of his belief that Trost would be a good thing for them.

A second later, the music playing over the speaker decreased, and Hanji was yelling out to everyone. “We’re gonna play flip cup, so everyone get the fuck over here!”

Jean and Connie looked at each other, before shrugging, their disagreement obviously now pointless. As Eren followed the group to the large dining table Hanji and Moblit had set the game up on, he nudged Mikasa on the shoulder.

“Don’t tell me you made a friend,” he murmured, smirking.

Mikasa just rolled her eyes, clearly fighting down a small smile. “Annie’s nice. She does MMA, so it was interesting to hear about.”

“Great. Another angry girl who could beat me to a pulp.”

Eren ended up positioned next to Mikasa at the table. On his other side was an attractive, freckled guy with dark hair, who introduced himself to be Marco. Remembering him as another new freshman from the GSA meeting, Eren grinned and returned the enthusiastic hug he’d received. Marco was clearly trashed already, and Eren found himself supporting him as the game began. They were down the far end of the table, away from the main group who knew each other the best, so when it finally came time for Eren’s turn he tried not to screw up to badly and embarrass himself (Marco had taken the pressure off him by being absolutely shit at flipping his cup in the state he was in). Mikasa, of course, was a natural, and despite never having played the game before managed to perfectly master it on her first go.

Still, their team ended up losing, thanks to Marco having put them behind, and as Hanji yelled for everyone to set up for another round, Marco giggled loudly and leaned on Eren.

“Fuck, I’m so drunk. Can’t even see straight, Eren.”

It was a weird feeling, for Marco to embrace Eren so warmly despite them just meeting. Sure, Marco was way past drunk, but Eren unconsciously found himself checking around him, before realising that no one cared. And that realisation alone made him smile widely, laughing easily with Marco and quickly finishing the rest of his beer.

Marco’s state was infectious, and it didn’t take long for Eren to finish his next drink, and then the one after that. He could feel the buzz increasing, and when Jean yelled at him to do better at flipping his cup, Eren just gave him the finger and loudly retorted by calling him a ‘Horseface’, which got a roar of laughter from those around him. He did feel a little bad, especially when he saw Jean’s murderous expression, but Eren felt like he was on top of the world, with Mikasa smiling at him and Marco hanging off his other side.

Later, he’d realise that Jean’s glare was less about the insult itself, and more about the company it’d been in front of, namely the one giggling against his neck.

At some point, people began to break off from the game, and later Eren found himself in a small group on the other side of the room. He was piled onto a plush sofa with Jean and Historia, with Reiner and his tall, dark-haired companion on the chair across from them. Reiner’s friend had introduced himself as Bertholdt, and while he seemed nice enough, the guy was clearly preoccupied with looking after Reiner, who’d drank way too much and was beginning to doze off. Bertholdt was attractive, in a conventional, hot geeky type of way, and looked at home as he propped Reiner up against his shoulder.

The jock looked huge against him, but he contently snuggled against Bertholdt, looking pleased with his cushion even as his intoxicated eyes glazed over.

“So comfy, Berty,” Reiner slurred and yeah, he was slobbering against Bertholdt’s sweater by now.

“Is he okay?” Historia asked, looking amused but worried. If Eren had gathered anything about the short blonde up till now, aside from the fact that she was charmed by Ymir, it was that she was empathetic and caring towards almost anyone, and already Eren felt at ease around her.

“He doesn’t look like it, but Reiner’s a massive lightweight,” Bertholdt teased, but there was a degree of concern on his face as he surveyed Reiner.

He was silent after that, as Eren chatted with Jean and Historia, until Ymir came running over, her beer spilling as she stumbled a bit.

“Babe!” She cried, “can you back me up and tell Levi that I give great head!”

Eren snorted into his drink, and looked over to where Ymir had come from. Levi was rolling his eyes and looking the same as usual, but still was staring their way. Next to Levi, Hanji and Moblit were laughing at how loud Ymir had been, with most people in the room’s attention now on them.

“Ymir!” Historia chastised and slapped her girlfriend on the arm, but was still grinning through her reddened cheeks.

Ymir stayed with them, and when Bertholdt left a few minutes later to take Reiner back home, the three older people came to sit with them. Hanji and Moblit took their spot, and by the time Eren realised through his drunken state that Jean had disappeared earlier at some point, Levi was already taking the vacant seat and sitting next to him.

_‘Fuck. Play it cool, Eren_.’

Settling for just a welcoming smile in the older man’s direction, Eren was thrilled when Levi acknowledged him with a nod, before settling back in the sofa.

“It’s Eren, right?” Levi asked and holy fuck, his voice was just as deep and throaty as Eren remembered.

‘_Holy shit. He knows my name. He remembers me._’

Next to them, Ymir and Hanji were drunkenly trying to one-up each other with their skills in the bedroom, while Historia and Moblit had the decency to look embarrassed.

“Yeah, um,” Eren said, swallowing nervously. “You’re Levi?”

Levi just nodded again, arching an eyebrow when Ymir cackled at something next to them.

A glint caught his eye, and Eren glanced down to notice a thin necklace around Levi’s neck. It’d obviously been tucked under his dark shirt when he arrived, but by now was dangling free. A silver ring was looped through the black string, and although Eren couldn’t make it out he could see some kind of inscription on the metal.

Remembering what Annie had said about Levi having lost people close to him, Eren fought back the urge to ask anything regarding to that. Instead, he awkwardly cleared his throat. “You’re saving me from being the fifth wheel here, so thanks.”

Shit, he sounded lame. But Levi quirked his lips a little, before whatever he was about to say was interrupted by Hanji.

“Come on, Levi, you do both! What’s harder, giving head to a guy or a girl?”

Eren spluttered in surprise at the blatant question, trying not to cough up the gulp of beer he’d just taken. But Levi didn’t appear flustered at all, and just reclined back with his usual deadpan expression.

“Can’t say I’ve found either particularly taxing.”

Hanji cackled, while Ymir just sneered at him. “Ugh, come on. If I have to hear about how great a fuck you are one more time, I’m gonna become even gayer than I already am.”

“Not possible,” Historia chimed in, quietly.

“What about you, Eren?” Hanji interrupted, turning the conversation to him. “You’re gay and all that, but have you ever been with a chick?”

“Um, no,” Eren supplied back, his brain still caught on the fact that yes, Levi _was into guys_. He’d had a fairly good hope that he’d be, but there were a few straight people in the GSA, so he hadn’t wanted to bank on it. Besides, from the sound of it, Levi was good at it.

So, he steeled himself, more aware than ever that he was talking to a group of five that knew each other better than they knew him. “I’d have to go with Levi that sucking dick isn’t that hard, though.”

Hanji grumbled, and Ymir cheered that it was another point in her favour. Eren didn’t even really know what they were arguing about, but Levi snorted softly beside him, so Eren counted it as a win.

“Guess we’ll just have to get Marco to find out how good you are then,” Ymir cut in, surprising Eren.

“Ah… what?”

“Oh please. A blind man could see that he was all over you before. Take him home!”

Shit, Eren had just thought that the guy was being overly friendly. But the group around him, even Historia and Moblit, were agreeing with Ymir, and that gave Eren a small surge of excitement.

“Are you sure?” He asked, still feeling doubtful. “Marco’s just a really friendly guy, I’m sure-”

“Eren,” Hanji replied, drunkenly patting him on the knee, “if you have a legit reason for not wanting to get with Marco, then that’s fine. But if you’re just scared, then fucking go for it! He’s keen as fuck for you, everyone can see it.”

Which was how, an hour or so later, as people began to filter out of Historia’s place, Eren ended up with Marco wrapped around his waist. He was still pretty drunk, but so was Eren, so it seemed like a match made in heaven.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Eren asked Mikasa, as they began to leave. “I can come with.”

Mikasa just mock-glared at him. “I’m catching a ride back to the dorms with Annie, Eren. We’ll be fine. Besides, if we got in trouble the only good you’d serve would be as a human shield.”

Marco snorted next to him, mumbling about how “the pretty lady is so funny,” and so Eren gave in. Next to them, Annie nodded.

“I’ll make sure she gets home. Don’t worry.”

Despite the fact that she was still as intimidating as she’d been earlier, Eren believed her.

“Okay. But text me the moment you get back.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes, but relented, and as they left, Eren turned to say goodbye to who was left. Historia and Ymir had already retired to the former’s room, after much catcalls and Ymir making V-sign with her fingers around her mouth, the universal symbol of what was probably going to come for them.

Hanji and Moblit waved them off, with the former winking at Eren as they left. What mattered to Eren more was the nod he’d gotten from Levi just afterward. Levi had stayed mostly quiet during their discussion about Eren and Marco, apart from him quietly confirming that Marco was indeed into Eren. Still, Eren was thrilled that he and Levi had now been introduced to each other, if anything.

Jean had left earlier with Connie and Sasha, seemingly still in a grumpy mood, leaving Eren free to wander across campus with Marco. With both of them drunk as hell, it’d made for an interesting walk filled with giggles, until Marco’s cuddles had turned into caresses, and then into gropes.

“So hot, ‘Ren,” he slurred and yep, that was a hand on Eren’s dick. “Wanna fuck you.”

Even in his heavily inebriated state, Eren knew that they wouldn’t get that far. But he was hard, already in his jeans, and as he looked around him in the park they were walking through, he smirked to himself. He recognised the area as one of the many outdoor areas on campus, and had walked passed it a few times over the past week. With it being well past midnight, the area was deserted, but there’d likely be a few people wandering past every now and then, like him and Marco.

Remembering the conversation he’d had with Levi, Hanji and the others about giving head, Eren licked his lips.

When he finally kissed Marco, a minute or so later after they’d found their way to a secluded spot next to a tree, Eren heard the other guy groan against his lips. With how drunk they both were, the kiss was by no means clean, and already teeth were gnashing against teeth, tongues licking over each other. Eren moved his hand down to Marco’s own jeans, satisfied when he felt the man’s hard length.

“Wanna suck you,” Eren said against Marco’s mouth, before kissing him hungrily again when the other man moaned.

A few kisses later, and Eren was dropping to his knees, in a public park.

In his eagerness, Marco had already begun to undo his jeans, with his belt unbuckled and fly already open. Eren finished the job by pulling both them and his underwear down, and they fell to Marco’s ankles, letting his already hard cock spring out in the process. Drunk and horny and wanting to get his mouth on Marco as soon as possible, Eren didn’t waste a moment before swallowing him down, letting his lips form a seal around the shafted as he suckled at the head.

Above him, Marco shivered and let out a long moan, before his hands came up to slink through Eren’s hair. It was both fucking hot and comforting at the same time and Eren resumed his task of sucking Marco off. He let his tongue massage the underside of the man’s shaft, before moving to bob his head in the rhythmic fashion he’d gotten so used to over the past few years. It’d been a while since his last guy, but now that it was happening again, Eren was again reminded that for every moment he was awkward with his words, he’d made up for it in the bedroom.

Fuck, he’d missed sucking dick.

“God, Eren,” Marco muttered above him. “Oh god, that feels amazing.”

Eren moaned around him, fuelled on by the praise. It’d been a while, but he quickly fell into the rhythm of bobbing his head and twisting his hand around the shaft at the same time. The guys he’d been with before this had always told Eren that this was what he excelled at, and Eren was pleased to see it was reflected with Marco. And even just the feel of a cock in his mouth had Eren hard, even if he wasn’t being stimulated at all.

Pulling off Marco’s cock for only a moment, Eren held it around the base before lapping at the head with his tongue. Marco sighed, and Eren knew he was on the right track. Surged on, Eren slapped his face slightly with the cock, letting skin rub against skin. He could feel precum sticking to his cheeks and chin, but really, that was the least of his worried right now. Making eye contact with Marco, Eren kissed the shaft of his cock before slapping it again at his face, and despite himself he enjoyed the blissed out expression above him. He didn’t usually play the submissive, but there was a certain thrill that Eren got from teasing others with the notion. Steadily, he licked the salty liquid that was quickly pooling at the slit of Marco’s cock, before taking the whole length back into his mouth.

Eren sank all the way down until the head of Marco’s cock hit the back of his throat. Blinking back the tears as he gagged slightly, Eren kept going, doing his best to relax the muscles of his throat as he slid all the way down, so that his nose rested in the dusting of hair around the base of Marco’s cock. A long, breathless groan left Marco’s lips, and Eren continued on, sucking tightly and harshly around his cock as he sealed his lips.

Marco’s cock was long but not particularly thick, so while it might reach deep his jaw didn’t strain too much from the action. Still, the weight of the cock on his tongue was comforting, and Eren hummed slightly as he licked along it while continuing to take Marco into his throat, over and over again. Eren knew he was doing a good job, if the constant moans and soft babble of words above him were anything to go by. It turned him on even more, and again he wished that he’d taken his own cock out, which was painfully pressing against his jeans.

“Fu- Eren baby,” Marco whined when Eren sucked hard around the head. “Oh my god you’re so fucking good at this.”

Despite everything, Eren flushed at the praise, before reaching forward to cup at Marco’s balls with one hand. He held onto them, fingers massaging the skin as he pulled back. Then, making sure to make eye contact with Marco’s, who even in the dark Eren could see his eyes were wide and dilated, Eren sank his mouth back down, his eyes never leaving Marco. And really, Eren got a bit of a power trip, the way he was able to watch as Marco’s face went slack as he took him all the way down, the head of his cock slipping over the back of his tongue and down into his throat.

Suddenly, Marco thrusted his hips forward, and Eren gagged as the cock in his throat unexpectedly slipped even deeper. Coughing around the abrupt intrusion, he pulled all the way off to compose himself.

“Shit, sorry. I-”

“You’re good, dude,” Eren cut in, sniffling slightly. Marco was clearly still drunk, and Eren could still feel his own significant buzz as well. “Just wasn’t expecting it.”

Truthfully, Eren was thankful for the quick break, as it allowed him to quickly unzip his jeans and take his dick out.

Still, this time, he made sure to keep one hand on Marco’s bare thigh, so that the other man wouldn’t be able to thrust forward. While Eren didn’t mind getting facefucked, he was pretty sure doing it while drunk as shit wouldn’t end well. So, he hollowed his cheeks in to create more suction, before resuming his motions of bobbing his head, all the while pumping his other hand over his own cock. He could feel his own spit wetting his lips as he moved, lubricating Marco’s shaft even more. Eren hummed and doubled his efforts, intent on making Marco cum.

And if Marco’s pants and gasps were anything to go by, that wouldn’t be long off. The dark-haired man’s hands had found their way back into Eren’s hair, fingers latching into his brown locks. Distantly, Eren could hear Marco muttering something to him, so he kept going, bobbing his head up and down more furiously in order to accelerate the man’s orgasm, pumping his hand around himself faster all the while.

The tightening of Marco’s balls under his touch was the only warning Eren had before warm cum flooded his mouth. Marco’s fingers gripped painfully tight in his hair, but Eren didn’t really care. He bobbed his head down, one last time, taking Marco back into his throat so that his seed erupted straight down his throat. He swallowed again and again, drinking down the cum that was still in his mouth and adding more pressure and suction to Marco’s cock, making him scream loudly above him.

With Marco holding him tight by his hair, Eren jacked himself off furiously, tasting the cum on his tongue and bringing himself further to the edge. He kept pumping, again and again, and soon enough he was cumming as well, spilling all over the ground between his knees.

Not too long after, the fingers in his hair slackened, and Eren took that as a sign to pull himself off. He swallowed the lingering saltiness on his tongue, and he let Marco’s now softening cock fall out of his mouth, before swiping his hand up to break the strand of spit connecting it to his lips.

“Holy shit,” Marco gasped breathlessly.

Eren wiped his cum-stained hand on the grass, before climbing to his feet. Immediately, Marco caught him in a long kiss, much less hungry than before, but just as sweet. Eren could feel the other man’s smile against his lips, and contently moaned into the kiss, flicking his tongue over Marco’s for a few more moments before pulling away.

“It’s fucking cold out here,” Eren brought up, and Marco giggled drunkenly.

In the end, it took both of them to get Marco’s underwear and jeans back up, and as they drunkenly stumbled back to Eren’s dorm, he grinned into the Marco’s shoulder.

***

**Now.**

By the time Eren’s breathing had finally slowed down to normal, Levi was slumped against the back wall, his head in his hands. When Eren approached, the other man looked up, even more blood smeared across his face and dripping from his nose. Despite his typical composed expression still being painted on, Eren could see his hands shaking.

“Levi… are you okay?”

Levi laughed, almost meanly. “I’m fine, you fucking brat. _He’s_ seen better days, though.”

Eren didn’t need to see who Levi was pointing at. He didn’t want to see. Stabbing someone over and over and over in the face didn’t look pretty, after all.

In the distance, a loud roar erupted, followed by a rattle of laughter in the distance.

“Shit,” Eren breathed. He was meant to be at the fundraiser. He’d told Moblit he’d be back by seven o’clock with more drinks, but he hadn’t even made it to the bottle shop before everything had gone wrong.

It was well past nine now.

“You got us in a real shitshow, Yeager,” Levi mocked from the floor.

“Don’t get like that, Levi. I did it to save you!”

“You wouldn’t have had to if you hadn’t fucked _him_ in the first place!”

Even though Levi was right in that regard, anger surged through Eren momentarily. “If you’d just waited for a _fucking day_, like I told you to, then we could’ve thought this over and this shit wouldn’t have happened!”

Things had become so complicated, but Eren had honestly thought he’d had a handle on it all. He hadn’t expected for the situation to escalate like this, and while Levi was in part to blame for it, it was just as much Eren’s fault as his.

In his pocket, Eren’s phone buzzed again, but he ignored it. Right now, he needed to focus on cleaning up his mess.

Already, he knew who he had to call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think- as always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Next time: Eren and Erwin finally talk, and Jean surprises Eren...


	3. The Art of Cultivating a Fuck-Buddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Talk about hot for teacher,” Connie sighed a second later, and when Eren turned to him, Connie was staring straight at Erwin in adoration.
> 
> “Fuck, I know right,” Eren whispered back with a smirk, making sure to lower his voice so the girl two seats down from him didn’t overhear.
> 
> A few minutes into the lecture, Connie leant in towards Eren again. “Think I could ask for some extra credit?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, new chapter time! I'm still on schedule at the moment, and should hopefully be able to continue that for a few more weeks at least.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Then. Eight Weeks Ago**

When Eren woke up the next morning, it was to the sounds of someone retching.

Immediately, he winced, and as he rolled over in bed, felt his own stomach surge. Holy shit, he’d been drunk as crap last night, drunker than he’d intended, to the point that he and Marco had-

Oh.

“Your boyfriend woke me up,” Jean sneered from his bed, when Eren turned over and opened his eyes properly.

Which yeah, it made sense that Marco was the one throwing his stomach up in their bathroom. However drunk Eren had been, Marco had been even more gone, to the point that by the time they’d made it back to the dorm, Eren had had to give the freckled-man a piggy-back in. And they’d been anything but quiet while getting to bed, but Jean hadn’t said anything last night, so Eren could at least be grateful for that.

“I’m just glad he’s not puking on me,” Eren replied, before groaning and clutching at his head.

As Marco coughed loudly in the bathroom, Eren reached for his water bottle. “How come you left early last night?”

Jean shrugged, not taking his eyes off his phone. “Was tired. Besides, not everyone had a hot date last night.”

As if on que, Marco staggered back through to the bedroom, his beautiful dark hair sticking out in every direction. Despite the state he was in, he managed a smile Eren’s way, even if it was replaced with a groan a second later.

“Never let me drink again,” he muttered, before falling face first onto the bed beside Eren.

Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about the awkward morning after.

From his bed across the room, Jean stared at Marco for a second, before turning to Eren. He looked like he was in a much better state than the both of them, reminding Eren of how much he’d drunk compared to him. Mikasa was probably fine as well, she never seemed to be hungover. Of course, even though Eren was worse off in that regard, he was also a massive lightweight compared to her, so really, he was just asking for it.

Thank god it was Sunday, because there was no way he was getting out of bed before lunch.

“If you guys fuck while I’m here, I will bitch slap you both,” Jean mentioned later that morning, stopping them when Marco had woken again to rub at Eren’s thigh.

***

When Eren arrived at his history elective the next Monday morning, bleary-eyed and tired, he was pleasantly surprised to find Connie leaning on the wall outside the lecture theatre.

“Eren?” He gasped with wide eyes. “What are you doing here, I thought you were a science student?”

“This is my elective,” Eren explained, grinning. “This is crazy, can’t believe we didn’t work this out earlier.”

The smile Connie shot back at him was blinding. “Shit, thank god I have a friend. I spent the first week zoning out and now I’m so far behind.”

They wandered into the theatre, which was already filling up, despite the fact that Erwin hadn’t arrived. Eren and Connie took up their seats in the back row, apparently where Connie had been sitting last week when Eren hadn’t known him. And already, Eren could feel his heart thumping at the thought of seeing Erwin again, remembering the interaction they’d had when he first arrived.

“How’d you pull up yesterday morning?” Connie asked, and Eren only groaned in reply, because it hurt just thinking about how hungover he’d been.

As Eren opened up his laptop to take notes, it became evident that Connie was indeed far worse off than him. The shorter man had an exercise book with him, and after flipping through it, Eren could see almost nothing written down for the entirety of last week. Despite the fact that he himself wasn’t a model student, Eren could tell he’d end up taking notes for the both of them, something which really wasn’t all that big a deal.

A few minutes later, Erwin entered the room through the door nearest the front, and the chattering in audience began to simmer. And god, once again Eren was reminded of how fucking hot he was, filling out that suit so damn well. The blonde professor’s steely gaze peered out across the body of students, and it might’ve just been his imagination, but Eren was pretty sure those blue eyes softened when they landed on him. After struggling with what to do, Eren eventually settled on shooting back a smile, but Erwin’s attention had already moved on, the man beginning to shuffle his papers and clear his throat.

Eren wasn’t chickening out today. He was going to talk to Erwin after the lecture.

“Good morning,” Erwin began, taking his place behind the podium as he tapped at his laptop. A second later, the lecture slides appeared on the projector behind him, and Eren did his best to concentrate on what the professor was saying.

“Talk about hot for teacher,” Connie sighed a second later, and when Eren turned to him, Connie was staring straight at Erwin in adoration.

“Fuck, I know right,” Eren whispered back with a smirk, making sure to lower his voice so the girl two seats down from him didn’t overhear. He and Mikasa rarely talked about guys, so it was kind of novel to be doing so with Connie, but the guy was so open that it didn’t make it awkward.

A few minutes into the lecture, Connie leant in towards Eren again. “Think I could ask for some extra credit?”

Eren snickered into his hands, before looking down a little when the people in front of them turned their heads. Yeah, getting caught ogling the professor probably wasn’t a great move, but it was still fun to entertain such thoughts. Because despite the promising interaction Eren had had with the him the day they’d met, Erwin was his professor. And even if Eren himself was keen, Erwin definitely seemed like a stickler for the rules. Besides, he didn’t even know if the professor was even into dudes. Not to mention, once again, that he was _his__professor_.

When Erwin moved to the next slide, Eren swallowed and turned his attention back to the content in front of him. He needed to get it down, now for both his and Connie’s sake. His friend was busy scrawling cartoons in the margins of his book, ignoring what Erwin was saying entirely in favour of just staring at him. Eren could already tell that Connie probably wouldn’t end up being a good influence in this class but was still glad to have a friend.

The hour sped by once he doubled down on listening, and before Eren knew it the students around him were packing up. Connie had by now finished his masterpiece on the page, which consisted of a massive dick-rocket hybrid.

Arching an eyebrow, Eren gestured at his work. “I’m assuming you’d want my notes.”

Connie at least had the gall to look sheepish. “You’re a lifesaver, Eren. Seriously, drinks are on me next time we go out.”

“I’ll hold you that. Meet you outside? I wanna ask the professor something.”

Ignoring the blatant and obscene blowjob gesture Connie gave him in return, Eren made his way down the aisle towards the front. This was it, he was going to talk to him. Eren told himself that it was because he was interested in the subject-matter, which was at least in part true, but definitely not the reason his heart was racing.

As he reached the front of the lecture theatre, Erwin had just finished packing his bags, and was talking to another student. She thanked him and left as Eren approached, and when Erwin turned to see him, a flash of something Eren couldn’t quite decipher came over his face. But then Erwin was smiling politely, tight-lipped but genuine.

“I was wondering when I might see you next, Mr. Yeager.”

Later, Eren would realise that in order for Erwin to have known his last name, he would’ve had to look for him specifically in his class list. But for now, he was distracted.

Because god, that deep, rich voice. Swallowing, Eren gave his best sheepish smile. “Hi, Er- Professor. I probably should’ve come by last week, but I’ve been busy, and I just wanted to say thanks again for your help last weekend.”

Erwin smiled once again, that same composed look he could have trademarked. “Of course, Mr. Yeager. It was a pleasure to help a student in need.” Fuck, Eren didn’t like the way he stressed ‘student’. “However, I must say I was surprised to see you in my class last week. I remember you telling me that you were a science student.”

“I am. I’m just, um, doing this subject as an elective. Which is another reason I wanted to talk to you.”

Fuck, why was he so nervous.

“I was, well… wondering if I could talk to you about my topic for the upcoming paper? I think I want to write mine on the founding of Shiganshina, but I’m a little unsure of where to start.”

Erwin stared at Eren for a moment, his expression unreadable, before his lips quirked to the side. “It’s very impressive that you’re already thinking about the paper, Mr. Yeager. Most students won’t start selecting topics for another week or two, so it’s promising that you’ve settled on one. I’d be happy to reserve some office hours for you later this week.”

Definitely not blushing, Eren grinned. “Thanks, Erw- I mean Professor Smith. I’d really appreciate it.”

“My pleasure. Oh, and Eren?”

Eren paused, already on his way out of the room, and noted that Erwin had called him by his first name. “Yes, Professor?”

“Try not to run away so quickly from my class in the future, okay?”

Those fucking eyes, with their twinkle. Yep, Eren was gone.

***

By the time Eren made it out of the lecture theatre, not only was Connie waiting, but Sasha had appeared out of nowhere. True to past form, she was munching away at a bag of chips, swatting Connie’s hand away whenever he tried to sneak some. Again, Eren wondered how Sasha managed to stay so fit while eating so much, but supposed she must’ve been blessed with a high metabolism as well as working out regularly.

“There you are,” Connie groaned when Eren found them, “thought I was gonna have to drag you away from Professor Hunk kicking and screaming.”

“That’s really the best you could come up with?” Eren mocked, before moving to hug Sasha in greeting. “Fancy seeing you here,” he said in greeting.

“Hey Eren! You and Connie are so lucky you have a class together, all I’ve got are stuck up literature nerds to keep me company.”

As they began walking away from the lecture hall, Connie scoffed. “I dunno, Eren was getting pretty passionate back there. Someone really wants to be the teacher’s pet, if you know what-”

Connie yelped as Eren punched him on the shoulder, before throwing him the finger. Eren wasn’t really that mad, and was actually grateful for the easy comradery he had with his new friends. Pushing Erwin out of his mind, he readjusted his bag and spoke up.

“What are you guys doing now? I’m free till after lunch.”

“Lucky,” Connie replied. “I have a software design tutorial now. Fucking sucks to not know what major I want, I’m left with all this random crap I don’t care about.”

Deciding not to point out that Connie must’ve picked the subject in the first place, Eren nodded sympathetically. Even if he had picked subjects he was actually interested in, he still didn’t have an end goal (or major, really) in mind. A second later, he turned to Sasha. “What’re you up to?”

“I’m free. Was gonna head over to the GSA room,” Sasha explained, spitting chip crumbs as she did so. “Hanji was telling me that some guy called Mike does a lot of baking, and there’s always something yummy in the fridge there.”

That seemed like a good enough excuse as any, even if it was typical of Sasha. Eren decided to tag along with her, and after parting ways with Connie, followed her through to the same building he’d been in just last week for his first GSA meeting.

The room was relatively empty when he arrived, save for Hanji herself and a few others, who were scattered about the various tables and sofas.

“Hey guys!” Hanji greeted as they entered, as cheerful as ever. “You here to kill some time?”

And despite Hanji having made it clear last week that Eren was welcome whenever he liked, he still felt a little self-conscious to invite himself in, even after having met a few more people over the weekend. Sasha, however, had no qualms about it, and was already diving for the small fridge in the corner. Shaking his head ruefully at her bluntness, Eren greeted Hanji for her.

“Yeah. Are we allowed to hang out here for a bit?”

“Of course! Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone, but after that you have to give me the details of Saturday night!”

Reddening a little at what she meant, Eren let himself be dragged around to the few others present, most of whom were studying or talking quietly amongst themselves. The first person he met was a pretty blonde girl named Petra, who was quietly reading a book in a corner armchair. She smiled when Hanji introduced him, and Eren remembered that she’d spent a fair amount of time with Levi at Historia’s party.

Next was Mike, the baker of the cookies that Sasha was currently devouring, who’s dirty blonde hair matched his darker facial hair. Between bites of cookie, Sasha thanked him for his kindness in sharing, and made sure to complement his baking talent. Mike looked a little stunned by her, but was still charmed by the girl’s oddness.

Historia and Ymir were also there, and while Ymir just grunted at him, Historia was quick to greet Eren with a warm hug. Hanji also told Eren and Sasha that Moblit was around, but had had to step out to make a call.

“Make yourselves at home, guys,” she cheered, before moving to sit back at her computer. “We’ve got this space for a reason, so may as make the most of it!”

Eren and Sasha did just that, relaxing on a set of comfortable looking sofas on the far side of the room. He chatted to the her about a few things here and there for a bit, before Sasha had to finish watching an online lecture.

Once she was done with whatever she’d been working on, Hanji all but raced over to sit with Eren.

“Sooo,” she began, her eyes wide with fake innocence. “How’d you sleep after the party on Saturday?”

Eren knew what she was getting at, and while he didn’t really care whether or not she knew, he was feeling confident enough around her to have a bit of fun.

“Yeah, I slept okay. Was pretty hungover the next day, though.”

Obviously upset that Eren wasn’t coming clean, Hanji pouted. “Ugh, fine. Just tell me, already. I already tried to grill Marco, but he just blushed and avoided me.”

“Are all the club presidents this nosy.”

“Only the ones that care, of course!”

Eventually, Eren settled on giving Hanji a brief confirmation that he and Marco had gone home together, mostly because she’d acted more as a friend then as the GSA president at the party, and that was something he’d tell a friend. He didn’t want to embarrass Marco by having it spread around (not that it was a big deal, and most people didn’t care), but he still swore Hanji to secrecy. After miming crossing her heart, Hanji got back to her work, leaving Eren to keep himself busy while he relaxed through his otherwise free day.

With not much school-work to do himself, Eren toyed around on his phone. Glancing at his two new messages, Eren arched an eyebrow.

_Free to get lunch later today?_ – Mikasa, 9:32am

_Hey Eren. Ran into Jean and got your number. Just wanted to say thanks for looking after me the other night. Marco x_ – Marco, 10:11am

Quickly typing back to Mikasa that he was free to meet up, Eren paused at the message from Marco. True, Marco had been a bit of a mess, but then again, so had he. If Marco hadn’t been there, he would’ve been the next most drunk one, falling over and otherwise embarrassing himself. Besides, they’d had fun on the way back, and Eren genuinely liked him, in the few conversations they’d had while lying around in bed on Sunday.

Not to mention, he was hot as fuck.

_Hey :) Glad to see that you’re alive. Don’t worry about it, I had fun_ – Eren, 11:13am  
  


Marco’s reply was almost instantaneous.

_Me tooooo! Wanna catch up again? ;) _– Marco, 11:14am

Glancing around the room, first at Sasha, and then at Hanji and the others, Eren tuned back to his phone, grinning. Marco was cute, and he liked him a lot. So even if he couldn’t see them going anywhere long-term, he was definitely up for seeing the guy again.

_Of course_ – Eren, 11:16am

***

That night, Eren relaxed into his sheets, feeling decidedly in a good mood. He’d arranged to meet up with Marco that coming weekend, and would probably see him the next day anyway, at the Tuesday evening GSA meeting. And between hanging out with Connie, Sasha and the rest that day, and then getting to catch up with Mikasa for lunch, Eren was feeling far from lonely.

Not to mention, he’d finally cleared the air, at least somewhat, with Erwin.

He still liked the professor, that much was obvious. The attraction was ridiculous, but now was more of a fantasy than a legit crush. Still, at least he had Marco to keep his mind off the older blonde, and while Eren did feel a little guilty for thinking of Marco as a distraction, it worked at least to keep his thoughts about Erwin down to a minimum. Besides, Marco had promised to pay Eren back for the blowjob he’d gotten that weekend, which Eren was more than happy to accept.

It sent a thrilled shiver through him, the thought of getting to fool around more with the guy making him hard at the thought. Marco was hot, hotter than any guy Eren had been with before this, probably, and he was game for whatever the other guy wanted.

With him sleeping only in his underwear, it was easy to slip a hand down to grasp his hardening cock. What bothered Eren more was the fact that Jean was only a few metres away, lying in his own bed with his back to Eren. He looked still, but Eren couldn’t tell whether that meant he was asleep or not. Fighting down the inappropriate thrill that came with the thought of jacking off in danger of being caught, Eren caressed himself, until he was hard and pushing against his boxers.

As he stroked over his cock, trying to make as little noise as possible, Eren wandered if Jean had ever done this while he’d been asleep. They’d only been roommates for a short while, and so there hadn’t been any awkward situations revolving around that issue, apart from Eren bringing Marco home. But they’d just slept in bed together then, with nothing sexual actually happening, and apart from his typical grouchiness, Jean hadn’t seemed to care too much.

Fuck. Eren probably shouldn’t have been thinking about Jean wanking, while he himself was trying to get off.

Eren kept stroking his cock, trying to work out if it was best to go the bathroom to finish, or to try and quietly clean himself up in bed. He was getting close, and as he twisted his hand a second later, he rubbed over the slit of his cock, biting his lip at the sensitive twitch it sent through him.

“You’re jacking off, aren’t you?”

The words cut through the air like ice, and Eren froze. Jean still hadn’t moved from his position lying away from Eren, but it was clear he’d been caught. Heart hammering in his chest, Eren swallowed thickly.

“Fuck. Sorry,” he apologised, feeling his face redden.

To his surprise, Jean didn’t anger like Eren had expected him too. With the guy being such an uptight prick most of the time, he’d thought that this would be the final straw, that Jean would explode and finally make good on his promise of smacking Eren.

Instead, Jean rolled over, his hair a little dishevelled but otherwise looking composed. And then Eren noticed that one of his own arms was covered under the sheets, angled in a way that was evident to what he’d been up to as well. The guy wasn’t moving, or anything, but even through the darkness of the night, Eren could see the slight rise and fall of his chest, now that he was lying on his back.

_Holy shit._

“Can’t believe we only lasted a week before having to do this,” Jean laughed, almost in a self-deprecating way. “I was getting so sick of doing it in the shower.”

And yeah, Eren could agree to that. After so many years of being used to having his own space, it’d been an adjustment period to have someone else around. Having to wait for times when Jean wasn’t around the room, or try and rush while taking a shower had been taxing, too say the least. And it spoke volumes that Eren had been caught the first time he’d tried to surreptitiously get off while Jean was around. He wasn’t used to having to sneak around, not in the comfort of his own space at least.

Still, Eren appreciated that Jean was trying to ease the awkwardness. “I’m surprised we got this far. Two horny dudes who are both into dudes? It’s a fucking recipe for disaster.”

Jean snorted from his bed, and for a second, was quiet. Eren wandered if that was the end of it, if he’d have to roll over and try to will his erection away, because there was no way he could go back to beating off now. Not when the air was so thick with tension, the both of them keenly aware of the other’s movements.

Eren had just resigned himself to a restless sleep when Jean spoke again, his voice shaky.

“You still hard?”

“… Yeah. You?”

“What do you think, dumbass?”

God, Jean was such an arrogant little shit.

But Eren could practically _feel_ the other man’s nervousness, his heart probably beating as hard and fast as Eren’s. Not really sure what to do, Eren gripped his cock a little harder, tentatively rubbing over the shaft. Despite himself, Eren found himself hoping for something a little more than just finishing off like this.

And clearly, Jean agreed with him.

“Well?” Jean all but demanded a minute or so later, after more awkward silence. The other guy sounded cocky, but Eren could hear the quiver in his tone. “What are you waiting for? Get the fuck over here.”

Startled but excited, Eren did as he asked, readjusting his boxers to hide his erection as he climbed out of his bed and walked across the room. Jean was already shuffling over to the far side of his bed, and Eren hesitantly sat down in the cleared spot. The sheets were warm with Jean’s body heat, but Eren tried not to think too hard about that as he clumsily settled down on the bed next to the other man. His eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that he could roughly see around him. Jean looked calm, but his shaky breaths betrayed him, making Eren glad he wasn’t the only nervous one.

An excited chill ran through Eren’s body, and he shivered a little as Jean’s arms moved under the blankets that covered up to his waist. He couldn’t see the other man’s dick but the fact that he was clearly stroking his himself made Eren even harder. Unlike Eren, Jean had a singlet on, but the bottom had ridden up enough to show his abs and trail of hair leading to the top of the blankets. And when Eren looked back to Jean’s face, the other man was staring at him with an intense gaze, lips slightly parted as he breathed out.

Fuck, this was actually happening.

Almost as if in slow motion, one of Jean’s hands surfaced from under the duvet, and after a second in which it stayed frozen in the air, came to rest over Eren’s abs.

“This okay?” And god, Jean’s voice sounded so husky Eren almost whined out loud.

Eren nodded. “Yeah, go for it.” Jean’s long fingers stroked over his abs with featherlight touches, both of them acutely aware of the tent in Eren’s boxers only a few inches downward. The graze of Jean’s fingernails was delicate, and had Eren shivering as he reclined fully on the bed, so that he was lying down next to Jean. His own hand patted over the blankets, not yet feeling brave enough to go under, but instead stroked over the top. He could feel the hardness of Jean’s other wrist (and dick, he thought with a thrill) underneath, but Jean hadn’t moved to touch him like that, so Eren remained there.

“You… have nice abs.” Eren didn’t know why Jean was whispering, but it made what they were doing seem even more taboo, as if there were other people in the room with them.

“Thanks,” Eren breathed back, before laughing a little at how awkward they sounded. The two of them had settled into an easy, if biting, comradery in the last week, but this was brand new for them. And Jean was obviously thinking the same thing, judging by how silent he was.

Jean’s breaths were hot against Eren’s cheek, and it took a second for him to realise that that meant the guy was looking at him. Eren turned, and as they locked eyes, Jean’s fingers finally dipped under the waistband of his boxers and around his cock, making Eren gasp. That made Jean chuckle softly, but his expression was tender and open as he gently stroked over Eren’s shaft. There was a thumb teasing the head of his dick, and Eren knew that Jean would be feeling the wetness of his precum, which had probably already made a wet back on his boxers.

Eren suddenly became acutely aware that this was likely the first cock Jean had ever touched, apart from his own.

“Fuck, nice dick too,” Jean said with a smirk, before leaning in. For a second Eren thought that he was going for a kiss, but Jean just rested their foreheads together. Eren’s shakily exhaled, no doubt giving Jean the same hot breath that he was feeling.

And shit, Eren needed to repay the favour as well. Jean was already shrugging the duvet aside and shit, that was his cock poking out from the waistband of his underwear. Maybe it was because Eren had known Jean for a while now, but the sight of actually seeing his cock felt a little surreal, at least more so than with the other men he’d been with. Realising that he was just staring at it, Eren tucked the waistband of Jean’s boxer briefs under his balls, before wrapping a hand around the shaft.

Jean’s dick was actually pretty similar to Eren’s, if a bit thinner. It was a comfortable size, and almost felt natural in his hand. Like him, Jean was uncut, meaning that Eren didn’t need to search for lube. The light patch of hair around the base tickled the back of Eren’s hand, and a second later Jean bucked lightly into his grip, a small whimper escaping past his lips.

“S-shit,” he grunted, and Eren grinned a little breathlessly, still not really believing that this was happening.

They were close to each other on the bed, shoulders touching and their inner legs curled around each other. And despite the fact that he and Jean were jacking each other off, their closeness was the part that intimate to Eren. Jean’s chest was pressed against his side, and Eren could feel the rise and fall of his ribs, skin warm against his own.

“M’not gonna last much longer,” Eren groaned, the last word sounding strained when Jean pumped his wrist harder and rubbed over the head with his thumb.

Jean scoffed into his ear. “Yeah, I’m close too.”

He sounded wrecked, and it was a little comforting to Eren to know that Jean was as much affected by this as he was. It was mainly physical attraction, but the sheer thrill of being this close to his friend, something that Jean obviously shared, had them both gasping, foreheads still pressed together and lips only inches apart.

Jean’s cock felt amazing in his hand, and Eren grunted again as he rubbed his thumb over the slit. He could feel precum beginning to coat the inside of his palm, a clear indication that Jean was close. Fighting back the urge to move down and take Jean’s cock into his mouth, Eren settled for savouring its feel in his hand, heavy and warm and so fucking glorious. Eren could feel a particularly thick vein under his fingers, and wanted to lean down to lick at it, but then Jean was grunting louder and bucking his hips again.

“Fuuuck,” the other man groaned, and then he was coming, thick ropes of his cum splashing over Eren’s hand and then onto Jean’s stomach. Eren kept pumping, letting Jean’s hips stutter as he moaned his way through his climax, more cum spilling out until the last lot dribbled lightly over Eren’s skin.

Eren himself wasn’t too far off, and once Jean regained his composure, he doubled down on finishing his partner. As his arm jacked faster and harder than before, Eren whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. When he opened them, Jean was back to looking at him, his earlier vulnerability now replaced with a devious smirk, lips curving upwards and showing off his teeth.

“That’s it, Eren. Cum for me, you feel so fucking good in my hand, can’t wait to see you blow…”

The words kept coming, and combined with Jean’s increased stimulation, Eren soon tumbled over the edge, muffling his cry into Jean’s shoulder as he came. Closing his eyes again, Eren let Jean nurse him through his orgasm, sparks dancing across his eyelids as he calmed down. All the while, he could hear Jean whispering into his ear, before eventually the man stopped and rolled away.

When Eren finally opened his eyes again, Jean was staring at him with an unreadable expression, and for a horrible few seconds Eren could envision their friendship ruined because of this, a line crossed that they couldn’t undo.

But then Jean was smirking again at him. “Fucking hell, Yeager, you took your time. My arm was burning it took so long.”

“You’re just jealous,” Eren fired back, the crashing relief that everything was okay washing over him. He rolled off of the bed, letting his boxers fall to the floor as he stepped out of them and moved towards the bathroom. “Better work on that stamina of yours, Jean. Don’t wanna disappoint another guy one day.”

Jean swore back at him, but Eren was already in the bathroom, reaching for some tissues to clean himself off. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind, and after checking to make sure Jean hadn’t followed him, he brought his hand up to his lips and gently licked a small amount of cum off. It was saltier than he was used to, but not unpleasant, and as Eren grinned a little breathlessly to himself in the mirror and cleaned his hand off with tissues, he supposed that he wouldn’t mind swallowing down more of it, if the occasion ever arose.

When Eren made his way back to the main room with tissues for Jean, the other man had rolled back to the centre of the bed. Eren took that as a silent sign that Jean didn’t want Eren back in there and yeah, Jean didn’t seem like a cuddler. Tossing some extra tissues Jean’s way, Eren scooped up his underwear from the floor, taking one last moment to ogle Jean’s body and cock before he got dressed again and fell back onto his bed.

“Hey, Eren?” Jean’s voice forced Eren’s eyes open a minute or so later, and he realised that he’d been dozing off.

“Yeah?”

There was a beat of silence, before Jean continued. “Let’s not make a big deal out of this, yeah? We’re two roommates who both like dick, shit like this is expected.”

And while Eren was tempted to fire back something scathing, a natural resort in their usual banter, he recognised that Jean was trying to be sincere here, and what he responded with would affect their friendship going forward.

So he nodded, mostly to himself, before clearing his throat. “Yeah, I know. And Jean?”

“What, shithead?”

“… Thanks.”

***

**Now.**

Eren wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Minutes probably, but it felt like hours.

As moonlight reflected through the nearby window and cascaded over the floor, Levi paced back and forth. Occasionally, he’d reach up to pinch his nose, which was still dripping blood from where he’d been punched. It didn’t look broken, but really, that was the least of their worries.

“We need to get rid of the body,” Eren stated, finally.

Levi turned on him, his expression murderous. “No shit, Yeager. I thought we’d just leave the asshole like this for the cops to find.”

Sarcasm aside, Levi was right. But even though he didn’t look overly panicked, Eren knew Levi well enough by now to know that the guy was distressed. He was hiding the majority of his panic well, and had likely never seen a dead body before, even with the business he and his family were in.

Unfortunately, Eren _had_ seen a body before.

When he reached for his phone, Levi looked at him incredulously. “Who are you calling? We can’t tell anyone about this!”

Eren just ignored him, because goddamn, he was so fucking tired. He just wanted to rest. It should’ve been worrying to him that he wasn’t reacting normally to what he’d done, to _who_ he’d killed, but fuck it, he was done with this shit. He knew that soon, it would sink in, the true weight of what he’d done. But right now he was numb, and he needed to use that time to get shit done.

He needed the one person who’d be able to understand him. The one who would know what to do.

Ignoring Levi’s questioning, Eren dialled the number and put the phone to his bloody ear. Thankfully, it answered on the third ring.

“Eren? Where are you? We’ve been looking all-”

“Mikasa,” Eren cut off, his voice oddly calm, “I need to you come find me. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, and come alone.”

“Eren? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but-” He paused, catching his breath. “What happened seven years ago, to do with your parents? I’ve done it again, and I need your help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Feedback in any form is much appreciated and makes my day!!!!


	4. Establishing a Reputation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren was blushing, he could tell. Erwin could probably tell as well, but as always, his face was a mask. Swallowing, Eren nodded.
> 
> “Thank you, Professor Smith. Would I be able to come by in your office hours next week as well?”
> 
> Erwin chuckled. “It would be my pleasure. And please, Eren, call me Erwin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, back with another chapter. Just wanted to say a massive thanks to everyone who left kudos, and especially those who commented. The feedback really spurred me on and helped me pump the next few chapters out! The weekly schedule is looking poise it'll stick for now at least, so enjoy!

**Then. Seven Weeks Ago**

To say Eren was infatuated by Erwin Smith was an understatement. He’d already been before today, of course, but after hearing his professor wax poetic about his opinions on the founding of Shiganshina, a deep sense of admiration had taken root alongside the blatant attraction. Of course, it helped that the topic was relevant to him, being from Shiganshina and all, which had originally started out as quite a poor town, before elevating itself in the last few generations to be a rising area of interest in the national economy.

“I think you’re on the right train of thought, Eren,” Erwin was saying from across his desk as he glanced over the notes Eren had compiled. “Comparing the recent boom in the modernisation within the province of Maria to that of Rose and Sina, and specifically Shiganshina to Trost itself, would make for a very interesting paper. Just be sure to keep the historical aspects at the forefront of your piece of work. This is, after all, a modern history subject.”

Eren nodded, drinking in the words. While he was predominantly interested in science, he’d been weirdly taken by Erwin’s lectures on modern history, and was eager to apply that to his own background. He knew that compared to many of the students here, who were mostly from Trost or another town in the Rose province, he was a rarity, coming from Shiganshina.

And even thought he wouldn’t admit it to him, Eren loved the rush of pride he got from impressing Erwin.

Even after being in his presence for two weeks worth of lectures, Eren was still taken with how stunning the man was. He was tall, taller than most people Eren knew, and muscular in a way that was clearly evident, even under his suit. Erwin wasn’t massively bulky, like Reiner, who was just ridiculously jacked, but he was still beefy enough that Eren could dream of being carried around by him, thrown against the wall of his office and-

Okay, he needed to get a grip. He was _not_ going to get a boner in his professor’s office.

But it was hard, so fucking hard. Because even with everything about Erwin’s build that had Eren salivating, his face was even more captivating. A strong jaw, with full lips, and a winning smile that made Eren flush every time he received it. His perfectly cropped hair, shaved on the sides but longer on top, with the blonde strands styles perfectly. And the perfect nose, framed by his piercing azure eyes, which Eren felt like he could get lost in for days.

God, he was a mess.

And when Erwin spoke, his voice washed over Eren like a wave. Rich and throaty, with the tone that could’ve had Eren whimpering without him even trying.

“I think,” Erwin continued, bringing Eren back to reality, “that this is the genesis of a particularly inspiring piece of work, Eren. I’d like to see your progress on this paper, beyond just the final submission. Please, feel free to keep me up to date with your progress on your research, and I’ll try to provide some feedback for your writing.”

Eren was blushing, he could tell. Erwin could probably tell as well, but as always, his face was a mask. Swallowing, Eren nodded.

“Thank you, Professor Smith. Would I be able to come by in your office hours next week as well?”

Erwin chuckled. “It would be my pleasure. And please, Eren, call me Erwin.”

***

“Oh fuck,” Eren grunted, as Marco bobbed his head again, taking even more of him into his mouth.

Marco hummed, clearly pleased with the praise, and as he continued to slide his lips over Eren’s shaft, made sure to look up at him. It was a fucking amazing sight, with Marco’s lips stretched around him, cheeks hollowed in and eyes blown wide. He looked both insanely sexy yet adorable at the same time, his hair hanging low over his eyes at the front.

Fuck, Eren could play dot-to-dot with those freckles.

It was beautiful to watch, and Eren became particularly entranced with the way the midday sun shone on Marco’s left cheek. They had Marco’s dorm room to themselves, with his roommate having gone home for the weekend. So, after putting on some music to mask any sounds, Marco had all but thrown Eren on the bed, the two of them making out for a few minutes before he’d started kissing his way down Eren’s body. There’d been very little preamble, and Eren knew they’d chat later, after this was over, but right now all he wanted to keep feeling Marco on his dick.

As Marco bobbed his head over and over again, Eren groaned at the wetness of the mouth on him, the feel of the man’s tongue massaging the underside of his shaft. Every now and then there was the slight graze of teeth, but Eren didn’t mind that too much, especially not when Marco made up for it with sheer enthusiasm. The guy was moaning around Eren’s dick, making noises like a pornstar, and it sent shivers down Eren’s spine to know that they weren’t fake. Marco was _that_ into him.

And so Eren couldn’t help but swear softly when Marco let his cock slip into the back of his throat. Marco gagged a little as his cock slid down his throat and yeah, Eren was in fucking heaven. He held back the urge to buck his hips, not wanting to make Marco splutter any more than he already was. The lips around him were bright red, plump and flushed as they slipped over him, and Eren couldn’t resist the urge to trace them with a finger at the same time as Marco worked his cock.

“Your fucking mouth, man,” Eren crooned, unable to help himself. “You’re killing me.”

Marco was smiling up at Eren as he pulled off to suckle at the head, before kissing down the shaft to Eren’s balls. He took one into his mouth, and as he rolled it over his tongue, Eren arched into him, his back lifting clean off the bed. His cock was laid over Marco’s nose and face, and jut the sight of that, not to mention the tongue on his sac, almost had Eren cumming everywhere.

But Marco pulled back a second later, as if sensing how close Eren had been, and as he rubbed Eren with his hand, he climbed up the bed to capture his lips. They kissed wetly, and as Eren licked deep into Marco’s mouth, the other man wrapped his hand around both of their cocks. Groaning against him, Marco grinded down on Eren, moving so that he was straddling him and Eren was bucking his hips into the man’s grip.

“So,” Marco began, pulling back from Eren momentarily to look down at him with a crooked grin, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, go for it,” Eren said breathlessly.

Instead of replying straight way, Marco took his hand off their dicks, and after gripping both of Eren’s wrists, moved them to place his hands on his ass.

“I prepped myself this morning,” Marco finally murmured, before leaning into peck Eren on the lips again. “Was kinda hoping you’d fuck me.”

And yep, Eren was all in on that idea. His response came in the form of a desperate groan, fingers digging into the flesh of Marco’s ass cheeks. Marco chuckled against his lips, leaning forward to grind his perineum down on Eren’s hard length. He slid forward on him, to the point where Eren almost slipped into the cleft of his ass and fuck, Marco was so much more dangerous than Eren had thought.

It didn’t take long for Eren to flip them over, and with Marco spread out on his back, Eren followed his directions to find a condom and a bottle of lube in his bedside drawer. By the time Eren had squirted a dollop onto his fingers, Marco had spread his legs wide, giving Eren the view of light, dark hairs around his hole. They were both still rock hard, but they ignored their dicks in favour of what was to come, and after warming up the lube coating his fingers, Eren placed a finger against Marco’s hole.

Marco had clearly stretched himself out a little already, as Eren’s index fingers slipped in without much resistance. Exhaling softly, Eren could feel his lips part a little in wonder, as he slowly pushed in until his knuckle was pressing against the rim. Marco whined, long and needy, and as Eren slowly glided in and out of him, Marco reached down to start jacking himself off.

“Fuck,” Eren breathed. It’d been way too long since he’d fingered someone. “You look amazing. I could do this all day, Marco.”

“Well put another one in then,” Marco all but growled back, but there was a strained curve to his lips, caught in the need of the moment.

Eren didn’t need any further encouragement, and slipped a second digit in alongside the first. There was a bit more tightness this time, and although Marco winced a little, a few more minutes of Eren scissoring his fingers soon had the dark-haired boy ready for a third. And when Eren had three fingers in him, he couldn’t but lean in to kiss the muscled rim around them, because fucking hell Marco looked so goddamn pretty.

“Feels good,” Marco panted, as Eren arched his fingers to where he knew the prostate to be. “Fuck- do that again.”

Obliging him, Eren took the time to play with Marco’s hole, adding a bit more lube to his three fingers as he did so. He rubbed the buds of his fingers over Marco’s inner walls, stretching him wide until the tension around him lessened. Marco relaxed more around him, and while kept jacking himself off, Eren leaned in to nip at the flesh of his thigh.

“You good?” he asked, bending his fingers one more time for good measure.

Marco nodded, already looking wrecked. “Uh huh. Wanna ride you.”

And Eren was cool with that. Withdrawing his fingers, he wiped them on a nearby towel Marco had grabbed earlier, before reaching for the condom packet. A second later, it was Eren who was on his back once again, with Marco over him and lining himself up with Eren’s cock. He felt his head press against Marco’s hole, and moaned brokenly. Fucking hell, he needed this, and by the look of it, so did Marco. Because a second later the other man was sinking down on Eren, his muscled rim giving way to let Eren intrude into his body.

“Oh,” Marco grunted, his mouth open in an otherwise silent ‘o’.

Despite himself, Eren grinned, biting his bottom lip. He let Marco settle down to the base, so that his ass was pressed flush against Eren’s hips. Knowing he was bigger than average, and definitely thicker than most, Eren stayed still to let Marco adjust to his girth. The dark-haired man’s brow was scrunched up, and for a second Eren was worried that it was too much for him, but then he opened his eyes and grinned breathlessly at Eren.

“That feels so good, Eren. Oh my god I’m in love with your dick.”

Well, that was another point in Eren’s favour, and even if he grinned devilishly back at Marco, inside his heart stuttered with the praise. He remained still, until Marco finally settled in enough to begin moving. Starting with a gentle rock, Marco kept his spot around the base of Eren’s dick, stuttering his hips in a long, gyrating movement.

“Just like that,” Eren crooned, feeling on top of the world. “Take it slow, you’re doing great.”

Marco smirked slightly at the comment, and after a bit longer finally pulled off Eren’s cock, rising up on his knees until just the head remained inside him. Before Eren could even groan at the sight, Marco sank back down, slamming down on Eren harder than he’d expected. That got a broken shout from both of them, Marco’s voice rising both in pitch and volume as he quickly made the same motion again. The strokes started off long but deep, with Marco taking all the control, but it wasn’t long before he was passing it off to Eren, who began to buck his hips in response.

Whining at the feel of Marco clenching hard around him, the man’s ass smacked against Eren’s hips as he thrusted up into the other man. Soon, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoed throughout the room, sounding so filthy that Marco actually had to pause to turn the music up on his phone, so that they wouldn’t get caught. Kneeling on the bed either side of Eren’s hips, Marco had braced himself further with his hands splayed on Eren’s chest, and as he leaned over to meet Eren’s thrusts, his hard cock rocked back between their bodies.

Eren’s own hands had come to rest on Marco’s ass, gripping him hard and helping to make their bodies rock better against one another. His was breath was coming in harsh gasps, and even as his abs burned from the repeated bucking motion over and over again off of the bed, Eren never wanted the feeling to stop. Marco leaned further forward to press his mouth to Eren’s, the kiss messy and desperate enough to mostly be tongues licking over each other.

When Marco pulled back, a strong of spit connected their lips, and Eren growled hungrily, pushing higher into Marco’s hole and pulling the other man down to meet him.

“Fuck, Eren,” Marco panted, looking so goddamn sweet with his fringe hanging low and biting his bottom lip.

It didn’t take long after that for Eren to flip them over, so that he was towering over Marco. Legs spread wide in the air either side of him, and as he slid back in with one long thrust, he leaned down to kiss the man again.

“Fuck me,” Marco breathed against him, voice quiet but needy. “Hard.”

With a low grunt, Eren did just that, clenching his teeth as he felt himself stretch Marco open once again. He hooked an arm under one of the other man’s legs, pulling it up to his chest while Marco grabbed the other and held it tight to his own body. Eren could see the haze of need on the other man’s face, and knew it was reflected on his own.

His hips moving rhythmically, Eren pounded into Marco over and over again, pushing Marco’s body into the bed with each thrust. Marco groaned, long and drawn out as he reached down to wrap a hand around his cock. Fuck, he felt so good around Eren, clenching him tight and feeling so fucking warm. He needed more, needed Marco to moan for him, to call out his name. Marco breathed out loudly, his voice hitching in time with each thrust of Eren’s cock in him, spearing him and spreading him open. Eren could feel the walls of Marco’s body hugging his cock, his hole squeezing it tight and gripping its thickness.

“Fuck,” Eren growled, uncharacteristically roughly. He followed it up by biting the muscle of Marco’s calf from where it was slung against his shoulder, making the man cry out in need.

Eren reached down with his free hand, running the palm over Marco’s abs before gripping his left pec hard, fingers digging into Marco’s skin. Marco’s mouth fell open in a soundless gasp, his face slack as Eren’s hips rocketed forward again and again, making his body shake with each thrust. He was distantly aware of the bed shifting along the floor as they fucked, the force of Eren’s motions making it skid softly. Glad that the music was still loud enough to cover them, Eren grinned hungrily when Marco’s gasps quickly became mewls, rising in pitch and becoming more desperate the harder and faster Eren went.

“Ohgodohgodohgod,” Marco was chanting, making Eren’s head rush with the power of making someone feel that way.

He could feel himself getting closer to the edge, and judging by the way Marco’s hand was jittering around his own cock, the other guy wasn’t too far off either. Feeling on top of the world, Eren pounded back and forth, slamming into Marco with enough force to feel like he was pushing the air out of the guy’s lungs. It felt empowering as fuck, and Eren panted, long and hard, as he felt his vision blur and little and his balls tighten.

“I’m gonna cum,” he grunted out, and Marco’s mouth dropped open.

“Do it, Eren.”

A few more thrusts later and Eren was spilling inside the condom, doing his best to keep from shouting out too loud as his repetitive movements stuttered and he closed his eyes as the world lurched a little. His muscles twitched, and while holding onto Marco’s leg tightly, Eren pressed his face into the calf as he fucked through his orgasm.

By the time he finally calmed down, Marco was still pumping furiously at his cock, and so Eren shook himself out of his haze and slid out, quickly replacing his softening cock with his two fingers. It only took a few rubs against the man’s prostate before Marco was cumming too, moaning deeply as his splattered white fluid all over his stomach and chest. Eren hummed happily as he watched it happened, stroking over his prostate a few more times, only pulling back out when Marco finally fell back onto the mattress, spent.

For a few moments, they just lay there, Eren with his head right near Marco’s used hole. Then, Marco laughed, breathlessly.

“And I thought you giving head was you at your best, fucking hell.”

***

Eren hummed to himself, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun as he strolled across campus, on his way back from Marco’s dorm building. Once again, he was made thankful that his parents had been willing to pay for him to stay in a dorm with private bathrooms, especially after he and Marco had had to go to the communal showers to clean off afterward.

Sure, there were cubicles for privacy, but it meant that they couldn’t really fool around while there, in case someone else wondered why there were two people in the one stall.

Still, it probably worked out for the best that he and Marco had to keep their hands to themselves in the bathroom, because otherwise Eren was pretty sure he wouldn’t have left. He had class the next morning, one of Erwin’s lectures, and Eren wanted to get a bit more studying done that afternoon, as he’d been relatively slack that weekend.

On his way back, Eren walked past the park area that he’d blown Marco in the last weekend, and smirked to himself. Still not really able to believe that he’d done that, he carried on, only pausing when he recognised a face among the people nearby.

Levi was leaning against the outer wall of one of the campus buildings, a cigarette dangling from between his fingers. As usual, he was wearing all dark clothes, with tight, ripped jeans hugging his legs and a large jacket around his shoulders. He was standing with two others, one of which Eren recognised to be Petra, and another man with blonde hair tied back, that Eren remembered from the party last week but didn’t know the name of.

Not sure whether to approach them or not, Eren’s decision was made when Petra glanced up, her pretty features brightening as she smiled and waved at him.

“Hey Eren!”

The other two men followed his gaze to him, and while manbun-guy nodded in greeting, Eren was more concerned with Levi’s reaction. The shorter man was staring at him, his expression as unreadable as always, but as Eren approached them, he tipped his head back in acknowledgement.

“Where are you coming from?” Petra asked as he reached them, taking a drag of her own cigarette. It was an unpleasant odour, but Eren had long gotten used to it. His half-brother, Zeke, had been smoking since high school, much to the annoyance of his parents.

Deciding to be honest, Eren smiled sheepishly. “I was just hanging out with Marco. I’m on my way back to my dorm to get some work done before dinner.”

Petra and the manbun guy chuckled, while Levi stayed silent. “I thought I heard Hanji saying you two had hit it off,” Petra giggled. “You guys were so cute together at Historia’s.”

Eren flushed a little at that, and Levi scoffed.

“Great, another doe-eyed couple to make me feel sick.”

“You’re just jealous Levi,” Petra shot back, before arching up on her tiptoes to peck manbun-guy on the cheek. “Don’t worry, one day you’ll find someone who doesn’t have to bend down to kiss you.”

Manbun-guy laughed with her, and although he tried to hold it in, Eren let a small snicker escape his lips. And while Levi didn’t really appear scathed by Petra’s jab, he rolled his eyes and nudged her on the shoulder.

“God, I come out here for a smoke, and instead get hounded by you brats. Remind me why I put up with you again?”

Petra grinned and leap over to hug Levi, despite the fact that the smaller man was doing a great impression of a cat who’d just been doused with water. He looked adorably displeased with her, and Eren had to cover his smirk with his hand. Sure, he was taller than Levi, like most other people that weren’t named Connie or Historia, but he sure as hell wouldn’t mind stooping down every now and then.

For the next few minutes, Eren chatted easily with Petra and manbun-guy, who he found out was her boyfriend, Eld. They were both nice, and while Eld was pretty hot, he was clearly head over heels for Petra. Glad in the fact that Eren had made some more inroads with some of the older members of the GSA, he was actually a little disappointed when Eld glanced at his phone.

“We need to get back, Petra,” he said, at least looking a tad regretful. “Gotta get ready for dinner with the folks,” he mentioned as way of explanation to Eren.

Eren nodded in understanding, and after saying goodbye to both of them, was left with Levi. The man just stared at him again, before taking a drag of his cigarette.

Feeling out of place, Eren remembered Levi’s earlier annoyance. “Sorry, I’ll leave you alone if you-”

“Stay, if you want. I only said that to piss Petra off.”

Eren blinked in surprise at the directness of Levi’s words, but didn’t move from where he was. A second later, Levi was reaching into his pocket.

“You smoke?”

Shaking his head, Eren stopped Levi. “Ah, no. Sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry to me? I don’t care.”

Fuck, even the off-handed way that Levi talked to people was weirdly attractive to Eren. Shuffling his feet, he glanced at the ground.

“… Don’t you care that it’s horrible for your health?” The part of him that was the son of a doctor couldn’t help but ask.

But instead of getting annoyed, Levi surprised Eren by letting out a short laugh. “Trust me, brat. I’ll be dead long before this shit gets to me.”

Well. Eren wasn’t really sure what to say in response to that. Caught off guard, he chuckled softly at Levi’s bluntness, before glancing down at the backpack at Levi’s feet. The top zipper was open, with a few coloured flyers poking out that caught his attention.

“Are those…?”

“For the fundraiser? Fuck, you’re a nosy little shit, aren’t you?”

Instead of getting embarrassed at that, Eren just beamed back at him, wide and true. “It’s all part of my charm.”

Levi stared back at him with an incredulous expression, which for some reason just made Eren’s grin widen. He enjoyed chatting with this cynical, sneering man, and after a few missteps that Levi hadn’t cared about, he was at a point where he felt like he could do no wrong.

After a second, Levi scoffed and let out another puff of smoke. “I’m meant to be pinning them up around campus for Shitty Glasses. Don’t even know how I got roped into this shit, I’m meant to start work in two hours. It was supposed to be Moblit’s job, but I guess them’s the perks of banging the boss.”

And if Eren was being honest, he probably wouldn’t have trusted Levi with the job either. He didn’t know what the guys actual job was, but he seemed like the kind of guy that would probably scare off anyone interested in the fundraiser while hanging the flyers up. Surely someone else, like Petra or Historia or even Mike, would’ve been better suit for the job.

At least Hanji hadn’t given them to Ymir…

“Do you want some help?” Eren asked him, before he could think twice.

Levi quirked an eyebrow. “I thought you said you needed to study?”

“Meh. Who needs good grades. I’d rather stick around and watch you frighten innocent freshmen.”

“I’m pretty sure I hate you.”

***

Later, after having to steer Levi away from killing a girl who’d pinned her poster for her literature club over theirs, Eren remembered something.

“Oh, by the way,” he started, catching Levi’s attention, “Marco and I aren’t a couple.”

“You think I care who you fuck?”

“No, I just- you said… ugh, never mind.”

Eren turned away, but not before he caught Levi’s smirk.

***

The next morning, as Eren into the history lecture theatre, Connie nudged him on the arm as he joined him.

“Soooo,” Connie began, looking at Eren with a sideways smirk. “Sasha and I ran into Marco last night when we were grabbing dinner.”

Even without the lecherous tone of voice, Eren could see from a mile away what Connie was getting at. Still, he kept his face blank and innocent, looking back at Connie with wide eyes as they sat down in the back row.

“Oh, cool. How’s he been?”

Connie just punched Eren on the shoulder. “You dog!” He cheered.

“I didn’t know anyone _talked like that_ still, dude…”

“I didn’t know you were a total freak in the sheets,” Connie shot straight back, his eyes wide and teasing. “Come on, man, you gotta tell me your secret. O’ Grand Master, how do I become a sex god like you?”

Connie held the question with a straight face for a moment, but a second later the two of them were pissing themselves laughing. The three girls who had sat down in front of them were staring at them with confused expressions, clearly judging the fuck out of them. Eren didn’t care if they thought he was weird, because really, he was a bit of a weird dude. And Connie was clearly batshit, given how he was still cackling away at his own joke, which hadn’t even been that funny.

When the girls looked away and the two of them calmed down, Connie wiped his eyes. “Seriously, though, Marco was talking about you like you were some kind of messiah. We knew the two of you went home together after Historia’s, but really?”

Eren was fine with Marco throwing him praise, even if it did make him a little embarrassed. He’d rather it be that then anything negative, at least. Still, it was comforting to know that he still had it, even if his game when talking to guys remained pretty pathetic. He was still the same awkward guy who had to constantly make sure he kept his anger in check, even if he now clearly was gaining a reputation. At least from what Connie was saying.

“One day, young one,” Eren began, putting on the wisest voice he could, “you too will learn my ways.”

Snorting softly, Connie nodded with wide eyes, in mock-awe. “And when will you teach me how to deepthroat like you-”

“Good morning, class,” Erwin boomed as he walked down the aisle, passing right next to Eren and Connie in that instant. Connie let out an embarrassed squeak and stopped short, ducking his head down into his books. Eren, on the other hand, froze, already feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. Erwin didn’t glance their way as he set up his equipment, and as he began the lecture, Eren let out a shaky breath.

“Do you think he heard?” he asked Connie, nervously.

“_Everyone_ heard, you fucking moron,” one of the girls responded instead, hissing over her shoulder before continuing to tap away at her laptop.

About halfway through the lecture, Erwin glanced his way. And Eren wasn’t sure whether he imagined it or not, but he thought he noticed the slight uptick of the man’s lips.

***

“I’ve heard you’ve had an interesting weekend,” Mikasa said, almost the moment Eren sat down with her for dinner that night.

Eren groaned, slumping back in his chair. His sister’s face was serious, but Eren could see the amusement glowing behind her pupils.

“Fucking hell, at this rate I’m gonna get an angry call from Mom next.”

Mikasa reached over the table, placing her hand on Eren’s. “I think it’s good, Eren. I know we never really talked about your last… relationship,” she said, after a moment’s pause. “But I spoke to Marco at Historia’s last week. He seems like a nice guy.”

Instead of comforting him, Mikasa’s pure sincerity that only she could muster just made Eren redden further. “Mikasa,” he complained, sounding more like a child than anything else, “It’s not some serious thing. We’re just hanging out and… stuff.”

“Well that’s good for him, because after Thomas, I’ve decided to up my role as the overprotective sister.”

“Please don’t talk to Marco about it,” Eren said quickly, now worried. “Besides, what happened with Thomas was my fault. I shouldn’t have got so angry.”

“Eren-”

“Sup, losers.” Suddenly, Jean appeared next to them, with a tray of food he’d collected from the shitty catering bar the dormitory provided on weeknights. Mikasa had chosen to eat over at their dorm, which was becoming more and more of a common occurrence. Apparently, she hated most of the girls in her dorm, and apart from spending time with Annie every now and then, preferred to eat with Eren and Jean.

Thankful for the distraction, Eren just stuck his tongue out at Jean in return, which got a raised eyebrow from the other man. The prior conversation now done, Eren let Mikasa and Jean talk for a bit, focusing on shovelling down the pathetic excuse for a dinner the college had supplied.

“So, I spoke to Armin,” Mikasa mentioned a bit later, and Eren’s ears perked up. “It’s almost exam time for their semester, he’s a bit stressed out at the moment.”

Eren just rolled his eyes. “Please, Armin does this all the time, remember? Gets super worried that he’s going to fail, and then pulls out a near perfect score. God, I hate people like that.”

He really didn’t, though. He could never hate Armin.

“Marlowe’s been on his case again, as well.”

“Wait, wait, wait” Jean cut in, after finishing his mouthful. “This Marlowe guy is still the kid with the bowl-cut, right?” When Eren and Mikasa nodded, Jean snorted. “What a douche. You never trust a someone with a bowl-cut, okay? Your friend should just have him shot.”

Eren snickered. “Yeah, Armin would probably be up for that. I’m just glad he’s getting some time off to come down here afterward. And it’s during the fundraiser, so we’ll be able to get trashed together!”

After a moment’s silence, Mikasa spoke up, low and thoughtful. “You know, Jean. With a bit of work, your hairstyle wouldn’t be all that different from Marlowe’s.”

“Fuck off, it is not!”

***

**Now.**

Eren let Mikasa in the room after the second knock.

Without hesitating, she gripped him hard, embracing him. And despite the fact that she was spreading the blood onto her own clothes, Eren was grateful for the embrace. For a moment, he could pretend that this night hadn’t happened, and that he was just greeting her for any number of other reasons.

But then they pulled apart, and reality set back in.

“Eren, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

He shook his head, but Levi was already speaking up for him. “Probably a few fractured ribs, but apart from that he’s good. Nice parting gift from our little friend.”

Mikasa followed their lead, and when she walked through the entranceway and into the room itself, her eyes widened.

“Is that-? Oh my god, Eren,” she cried, a hand flying up to cover her open mouth.

From beside them, Levi scoffed. “I can see why you had trouble recognising him. Getting stabbed in the face a hundred fucking times will do that to a guy.”

Even now, Levi’s voice was beginning to go raspy, probably from almost being choked to death earlier. For some reason, Eren was captivated as the shorter man rubbed tenderly at the bruises.

It was wrong, so fucking wrong. But Eren thought they looked beautiful on him.

Mikasa was already surveying the room, deep in thought. A second later, she spoke up.

“Eren, Levi. Help me get him onto the rug. We’ll roll it up and use it to get the body out of here.”

And this was why Eren had needed her. There were no questions of how it happened, not yet at least. Because that wasn’t important, not until they’d gotten away with it, like they had last time. Mikasa understood what needed to be done. There would be time to freak out later. Right now, Eren needed to stay numb, to compartmentalise the horror of what he’d done.

Tomorrow would be hell, if he made it there.

But even as he grabbed the ankles of his assailant-turned-victim, all Eren could think about was how well he’d been doing up until now. He’d gotten a handle on his anger, and for the first time in what seemed like ages, he’d been able to envision a life without worrying about losing control.

Thinking back to when he, Mikasa and Jean had been joking around about something as trivial as killing Armin’s rival all those weeks ago, Eren shook his head at how easy times had been back then. He'd been a fucking fool to think everything in his life would turn out alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of it. Feedback, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated as always, and mean so much!
> 
> Next time: Eren runs into someone unexpected at the gym.


	5. Seduction and Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on, pussy. You got this.”
> 
> “You wanna swap places?” Eren all but yelled back, feeling near hysterical from the pain, but still bent down once again.
> 
> “Nah,” Jean quipped, sounding like he was enjoying himself far too much. “I prefer the view from back here. You got a nice ass, Yeager.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, back with another chapter! Thanks so much to everyone who left kudos and comments on the last chapter, they really help a tonne!
> 
> The next chapter is still on schedule for next week, so stay tuned!

**Then. Six Weeks Ago**

Grunting loudly in pain, Eren squatted low, feeling the repetitive action strain his muscles as he slowly pushed up, before going down once again.

“Good, feel the burn,” Jean sneered from behind him, almost mockingly.

Sweat dripping off his brow, Eren clenched his teeth and continued. Down, until he was squatting low. Pause. And then back up, feeling the fiery burn in his thighs. God, why did he even agree to this?

“Almost there. Just five more.”

Fucking hell, Eren swore it’d been five more six times ago. But Jean was driving him hard, making sure that Eren could hear his words of encouragement, even if they did become teasing every now and then at his pain. He could see his own face in the mirror in front of him, scrunched up from the exertion of his action, eyebrows knitted together and teeth gritted almost viciously.

“Shit,” Eren grunted, when he felt his thighs beginning to quiver. He wasn’t sure if he could finish what he’d started.

“Come on, pussy. You got this.”

“You wanna swap places?” Eren all but yelled back, feeling near hysterical from the pain, but still bent down once again.

“Nah,” Jean quipped, sounding like he was enjoying himself far too much. “I prefer the view from back here. You got a nice ass, Yeager.”

Eren wasn’t even listening even more, just focusing on getting through the next few moments of hell. Feeling the blood pound in his ears, he went down another time, and then for the last time, feeling his body scream in protest as he rose back up to his final resting position.

With a final roar, Eren stood up and wavered slightly, but then Jean was right up behind him, taking the barbell that had been balanced on his shoulders. Feeling the literal weight being lifted off his shoulders, Eren staggered, before gently lowering himself to sit on the floor.

Fucking hell, he hated the gym.

“God, you’re so embarrassing,” Jean whined after putting the barbell back on the nearby rack. “I’ve never met someone who is so naturally athletic yet such a drama queen when working out. How did you even get those muscles? It was the drugs, wasn’t it?”

Ignoring the scathing words, Eren reached for his water bottle. “Remind me why I agreed to this again?”

“Because while _you_ may have a man, some people still need to work to look good. Not that you have to worry about that, with your freaky good genetics.”

It was true, to an extent. He’d gotten the best of both worlds in terms of genetic traits from his parents, with his mother’s fine facial features, yet the natural athleticism of his father. Even his brother, Zeke, had taken after their father in that way, although he looked more like his birth mother, Dinah. Growing up, Eren had never really had to worry about his weight, always having a naturally high metabolism, and although he had worked out, mostly through body-weight exercises in his room back home, he’d had a pretty easy ride in that regard.

Unfortunately, his horse of a roommate seemed to be intent on making him hate life in every regard.

While they’d gone to the gym for the previous week, this was the first time they’d actually properly worked out. To be fair, both Eren and Jean had intended to start the previous time, but their plans had been foiled by the man who’d invited them to join him.

One Reiner Braun.

When the beefy blonde had invited Eren and Jean to join him at the gym after the GSA meeting last week, Eren honestly hadn’t even thought about what it would entail. Sure, he could tell that Reiner was massive, with muscles that seemed like they were seconds away from tearing his shirt at any moment, but it wasn’t until they arrived at the campus gym later that night to meet him, that Eren got the full picture.

Emphasis on full.

To be fair, if Eren was as ripped as Reiner, he would’ve shown it off as well. Because the blonde was wearing a tank top so small that it barely classified as a top. It was one of those ridiculous singlets with arm holes that came down to his waist, showing off his monstrous lats and other side muscles, and were completely inadequate at covering Reiner’s chest. And holy shit, what a chest it was, with pecs the size of boulders, covered with a light dusting of blonde hair that was visible, because Reiner made no effort to cover himself.

Eren had been so stunned at the sight of this god before him, that he’d almost missed Jean weakly mumble that he was going to focus on cardio. With wide eyes, Eren had joined him, which was how the two of them had spent their first gym session ogling Reiner from the treadmills.

The worst thing was, that Reiner clearly knew what they were doing, judging by the knowing smirk on his face. From bicep curls that flexed muscles that were likely bigger than Eren’s entire leg, to squats in gym shorts that looked more like underwear, it was clear that Reiner enjoyed letting others appreciate his body.

“Fuck, I wish I was Bertholdt,” Jean had mumbled while running beside him. “I’ve never been so jealous of someone in my whole life.”

“Do you really think they’re together?” Eren had replied, not tearing his gaze away from Reiner for a second. “I thought they were just friends.”

“Judging by the way he tried to mount Bertholdt on the way home from Historia’s last week, I’d say I’m right.”

They’d spent the majority of the session that way, trading thinly veiled quips that were really just an excuse to watch Reiner more. By the time Reiner was finished, Eren and Jean had barely gotten past a light jog, and sheepishly followed Reiner out of the workout area.

Suffice to say, their wank session that night had been particularly heated.

Still, they’d made the decision not to attend the gym with the massive blonde after that, if only for the sake of their own ability to workout, more than anything. Not to mention, that after seeing Bertholdt’s knowing look when explaining to Reiner that they weren’t going to keep working out with him, it was likely a good idea not to shamelessly ogle their friend.

So instead of going on the Tuesday after the GSA meeting, Eren and Jean had settled on the Wednesday instead, when they knew Reiner was busy with football training.

Which brought them to now, where Eren was currently eyeing the treadmills wistfully, even if there were no muscled hunks to gawp at.

Of course, Eren’s life seemed to have a way of evening itself out, because as he reluctantly let Jean drag him to his feet for his next set of squats, Erwin fucking Smith walked into the weights area.

Eren almost didn’t recognise him at first, bit when he did, his jaw dropped. The older man’s usually carefully styled hair was tussled, and he was wearing a tank and shorts, albeit much, much less revealing than Reiner’s. And while he wasn’t as ridiculously muscled as Reiner, the man’s physique was definitely not something to scoff at, and Eren was already carding his eyes over the sculpted biceps on view for him.

As Erwin made his way over to the Lat Pull Down machine, Eren realised he hadn’t been spotted yet.

“I don’t know you,” he hissed to Jean, not taking his eyes off Erwin, who currently had his back to them. “Walk away, now.”

“What the fuck, Eren,” Jean growled back, looking confused.

Getting panicked at the thought of being spotted with someone else, Eren frantically gestured at Erwin in the far corner. “If you value our friendship, you ditch my ass right this second.”

Jean looked pissed, and probably rightfully so at Eren’s upfront words, but he really didn’t have time to explain the situation in detail. Thankfully, Jean did walk away, taking his place at one of the rowing machines on the far side of the room. No sooner had he left, than Erwin was turning to face Eren while setting himself up for his own workout, and Eren was lifting the barbell onto his shoulders.

He ignored the knowing scoff from the rowing machines when he started squatting without a single complaint.

By the fourth rep, Eren succeeded in making eye contact with Erwin through the mirror in front of him, and had to supress a triumphant grin when the older man visibly startled at seeing him. Instead, he feigned surprise as well, before adopting a look of faux sheepishness while he finished his set. Again, he made sure to supress his urge to grunt loudly from the effort, and was sure that he’d get an earful from Jean later on regarding that.

After finishing, Eren picked up his towel and water bottle, wiping his brow for a second before hesitantly making his way over to Erwin. By the time he got there, Erwin had also finished his set and had regained his composure.

“Eren, what a surprise. It’s good to see you.”

“Hi, Erwin,” Eren grinned back, not bothering to hide his eagerness. “What brings you here?”

Ugh. Good to know that his game hadn’t gotten any better since banging Marco.

Erwin just quirked an eyebrow, as if the answer was obvious (it was, and Eren was an idiot for asking such a cliché question). “I’m here most Wednesdays, actually. The facilities are free for staff use as well as students.”

And Eren… legitimately had not known that. Thinking of his other university lecturers, most of whom were overweight, nerdy scientists, he supposed it made sense that the university would want to promote healthy lifestyle choices through the staff as well as the students.

“Oh, that makes sense,” Eren cheerfully smiled back, watching one particular bead of sweat run-down Erwin’s forehead. “I had to change my workout day from Tuesday to today, because of another commitment.”

At least Eren was still good at lying through his teeth.

Steeling his nerves, Eren kept the plastered grin on his face. “When you’re done with your pull-downs, do you think you could spot me? I still need to do my bench presses.”

“I… don’t think that would be a wise idea, Eren. I’m not sure it would be appropriate.”

Fuck. Fuckity fuck.

Still, Eren kept going, pushing his luck. “Why wouldn’t it be appropriate?” He asked innocently, trying to keep the devilish intent clear of his expression. “I would ask someone else, but no one else is available.”

It was true, to be fair. Eren gestured around the room, first to two girls who were running on the treadmills and chatting away to each other, and then to Jean, who was doing a decent effort of pretending to yell at someone on his phone. Honestly, Eren would have to buy him a drink that weekend, the guy was a saint.

Erwin still looked unsure, but Eren could tell that he’d gotten to him. “… I guess I would be able to assist you, Eren. But after that, I’m afraid I have to get back to my own workout. I have an appointment this evening that I need to prepare for.”

Whether or not that was a lie, Eren didn’t know, nor did he really care, because after a quick bathroom break, Erwin was done and ready to help him out. And Eren wasn’t ashamed to admit that he’d rearranged his tank top to show off his pecs while in the bathroom. Hoping that Reiner would be proud of him, Eren took his position on the bench, making sure to have selected a weight that wasn’t too much for him. The last thing he needed was to embarrass himself while trying to impress Erwin with the amount of weight he could lift.

The first thing Eren became aware of as he reclined back was that he was fucking close to Erwin’s _crotch_. He hadn’t even realised it would be a by-product, but with the older man standing above him and ready to assist him if needed, it put him in the perfect position. Which was how Eren spent his first set of lifts envisioning the porn-version of this encounter, with the gym being completely deserted and Erwin gradually lowering his waist towards Eren. With Eren arching his head upwards, quickly abandoning the barbell in favour of chasing a much more desirable weight.

Fuck, he needed to get his mind out of the gutter, unless Eren wanted himself getting hard right then and there.

As he pumped his arms up and down, lifting the heavy barbell above his chest, Eren kept his eyes locked on Erwin’s. He was staring down at Eren intently, azure eyes fixated on him, practically staring straight into Eren’s soul. And Eren was sure he wasn’t the only one noticing the tension, the way Erwin wouldn’t look anywhere else, and how at one point, he even bit his lip while watching Eren.

It was probably all part of the fantasy Eren had built up, but Erwin was definitely acting interested. Not quite as obvious as the porn fantasy Eren had cooked up, but there was definitely something there.

Later, during the second set, Erwin seemed to have caught himself, and was instead watching the barbell, as any good spotter was meant to. Eren, however, preferred this less, even if it now meant he was free to turn his gaze elsewhere without the older man noticing.

Because Erwin’s bulge was _right there_, and while his shorts weren’t as tight as Reiner’s, or even Eren’s for that matter, Eren could still see enough through the baggy material to tell that the guy was packing. Only a few inches above his reclined head, Eren inwardly groaned at the thought of Porn-Erwin leaning down to thrust into Porn-Eren’s throat. And just that alone sent an excited chill through Eren, now having the knowledge that in the completely hypothetical fantasy he’d cooked up, Erwin was just as well-endowed as he was in real life.

Not to mention, the bulge itself was within reaching distance.

Erwin cleared his throat suddenly, and Eren flinched, realising that even though he’d continued to proceed with his bench-presses, the older man had caught him red-handed, staring at his pants. And for some reason, Eren didn’t even feel embarrassed, even though he had every right to be, because Erwin wasn’t looking mad.

Instead, Eren just grinned, wide and cheerful, trying to keep the perception going that he was oblivious as fuck.

After a silent break between sets, Eren quickly finished his third and final one, not wanting to push his luck any further. While he didn’t really think anything would ever happen between him and Erwin, it was still a fun thought to humour. But he didn’t want to make his intentions obvious, or freak Erwin out in any way. No, if there was ever going to be the slimmest of chances that he could make this work, it would have to be done delicately.

Unfortunately, Eren wasn’t known for his subtlety.

As Erwin helped him put the barbell back on the rack, Eren sat up, stretching out his fatigued muscles. Even though his mind had been on other things, the workout had really taken it out of him, and Eren knew he’d be sore tomorrow morning. Erwin handed him his water bottle, and after taking a quick swig, Eren threw caution to the wind and doused his hair with what remained din the bottle.

With water dripping down his hair and onto his face, Eren smiled at his professor. “Thanks so much for your help Erwin!”

Still looking a little rocked, Erwin just nodded. “Of course. I’m afraid I need to be getting back to my own regime, however.”

“No worries. Is it still okay for me to come by your office this Friday afternoon?”

The appointment was to discuss his paper, but Eren intentionally left that out, just because it sounded better without. He’d visited Erwin two Fridays in a row now, and was quietly hoping to make it a regular instance in both their schedules, partly because it was helpful for his paper, and partly because well…

“Definitely,” Erwin responded, back to his usual, composed self. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Eren.”

A few minutes later, Jean barged into the changeroom while Eren was getting dressed after his short shower.

“The fuck? Since when did _you_ start seducing older men, Yeager?”

“He’s not _that_ old,” Eren shot back, but was still grinning to himself at the thought of the interaction.

He’d decided not to tell Jean that Erwin was his history lecture, knowing the other guy would probably react badly. Sure, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but Eren didn’t really want to have that conversation right now, at least. Later, when he’d thought about it more, he’d come clean, but for now Eren preferred the idea that he’d gone up to a random man that he didn’t know and started hitting on him.

Jean didn’t say anything else before going to have his own shower, but afterward, as they walked out of the building, he bumped Eren on the shoulder.

“You fucking owe me, by the way. You better not ditch me for another daddy next week, or it’s over.”

“… Daddy? Really, Jean?”

“Oh please, don’t tell me the thought never crossed your mind!”

***

“Ugh, sometimes I fucking hate this job!”

Eren flinched from his spot on the sofa, and felt Marco do the same beside him. Opposite them, Mikasa and Connie were also craning their heads around, looking for the source of the shouting. The four of them were gathered in the back corner of the GSA room, wasting away their otherwise free Thursday afternoon. Mikasa had bought a bucket of fried chicken on her way over, and thankfully with Sasha not there, the four of them had been able to leisurely snack away for the last few minutes.

Until they’d been disturbed, that was, by none other than Hanji, who dramatically flung herself over a spare beanbag positioned near them. When they just stared at her, the bespectacled woman glanced up.

“Gimme chicken. Your president demands it.”

After she’d been appeased, Eren spoke up. “Um, is everything okay?”

Hanji groaned dramatically around a mouthful of fried chicken. “It’s the fucking fundraiser. The university board are being shits about letting us set up on the main lawn, even though we raised a tonne of money there last year. We don’t even need any funding, but they’re still getting in our way.”

“I thought you had a good rapport with the board?” Mikasa asked quietly.

“We _did_,” Hanji shot back, “but this year that prick Fritz is chairman, and he seems to take pleasure from making everyone’s life hell. Seems to think that it won’t promote a professional look for the university, and that it will just become a massive piss up.”

“But it _was_ a massive piss up last year, wasn’t it?” Eren questioned.

“Well yeah, but we raised so much money because people kept buying drinks!” Hanji cheered back. “Besides, Reiner’s already promised that he’ll keep the football team on a tighter leash this year. It’s awesome that we have their support, but sometimes those guys don’t know when to put a lid on it.”

Eren nodded, understanding. It was still new to him, to be in an environment where an LGBT alliance had the support of the _football_ _team_ of all things. Sure, the fact that Reiner was there helped, but from what Eren had seen, practically no one seemed to have a problem with them. It was a stark contrast to back home, where Eren had been terrified of anyone finding out about him, where anyone who was known to be… different was publicly shunned by society.

“Mike’s been on the phone to the board all day,” Hanji continued, pointing over to the far side of the room, where Mike, likely acting in his role of treasurer, was sternly muttering something into his phone, tapping away at his laptop at the same time. “But Fritz isn’t going to budge, and the other members seem to listen to him.”

“So what’s gonna happen if they say no?” Connie spoke up, grease dripping down his chin from the chicken leg he was munching on. “Couldn’t Historia ask her dad to put in a good word for her?”

To their surprise, Hanji shook her head. “Reiss is already doing that, but Fritz probably won’t budge from just that alone. It’s not a completely lost cause, I’ll just have to get Levi to help out. Hate asking for him to do that, though…”

The last bit seemed to be mostly to herself, but Eren was all ears. Because what the hell would Levi be able to do that Historia, daughter of Dean Rod Reiss, couldn’t? But Hanji was already changing the subject, her usual grin replacing the scowl.

“How’re you guys going with your stuff?”

Still cuddled up beside him, Marco launched into his progress on organising the barbeque, which he’d been tasked to coordinate alongside Jean and Mike. They were still a fair few weeks off, but with Mike at the helm, the three of them had been making sure they’d have enough meat ordered to keep the majority of the university campus full on the day of the fundraiser. Eren had been put on the team in charge of organising alcohol for the day, alongside Connie, Sasha, Annie and a few others. They were working under Moblit, and as a newbie, he wouldn’t have too much responsibility, beyond making a few late-night alcohol runs if their stocks ran out.

Still, Eren tuned out as the others talked over making further preparations for the big day. He was still caught up in the fact that somehow, Levi had some sort of sway that would help them with the board. Suffice to say, Eren had been intrigued by the shorter man since the moment he’d first laid eyes on him, and had always thought of him as an enigma. He was into guys, but technically not part of the GSA. Apart from that first meeting, where he’d observed from the corner, Levi hadn’t turned up since. In fact, Eren had overheard that the only reason he’d even bothered with Historia’s party was because Hanji and Petra had begged him to come.

And then again, with the flyers. The only times he seemed to make an effort were when those two women, or someone else he was close to, asked it of him. Apart from the few friends he had, Levi mostly stayed isolated from the goings on around him.

Eren wanted to know him like they did.

Later, after Hanji had left to go continue negotiations with the board, Connie leaned forward excitedly to their group.

“So,” he began, grinning conspiratorially, “my parents are coming up to visit me in a couple of weeks, and are leaving their minivan behind for me to use. I was thinking we could go for an overnight camping trip to somewhere nearby, like Dauper.”

“Isn’t that where Sasha’s from?” Eren asked, already liking the idea.

“Yep! She says that she knows come good deserted areas to camp out in, maybe get wasted. You guys in?”

Mikasa and Marco seemed up for it, so Eren happily agreed. Apparently, Connie’s van could fit six, so the four of them, alongside Sasha and Jean, would be able to comfortably travel down together in a few weekend’s time.

With more important things on his mind, Eren let his questions about Levi fade, for now.

***

Later that night, when Jean was lying next to Eren on his bed, their boxers pushed down to their ankles, he asked the question.

“Does Marco know about this? And also that you’re flirting with other guys.”

Eren paused, his hand still around Jean’s cock. Over the past two weeks, they’d settled into an easy rhythm where, on most nights, one of them would shuffle over to the other’s bed. It wasn’t awkward, not anymore at least, and apart from a few moments here and there, they didn’t talk about it afterward. And while none of them had said anything specifically, there had been a few certain ground rules that had seemed to have been laid down.

One: They only gave each other handjobs. Nothing else beyond that.

Two: There was _definitely_ no kissing.

Three: They didn’t talk about other guys while doing it.

On his end, Eren kept in line mostly because he didn’t want to spook Jean. The other guy still had that flighty air to him at times, and Eren really didn’t want to freak him out. So he was shocked that it was Jean that breaking the unspoken laws of ‘roommate fun times’.

“What?” He breathed back, before gradually beginning to move his palm around Jean’s cock again.

“Have you told Marco that this is a thing that happens?”

“Um, yeah,” Eren said truthfully, because he had. It’d been a conversation he’d been dreading, but thankfully Marco had been on the same page as Eren; that they were just fooling around for a bit of fun. With them both knowing what they wanted, Eren didn’t have to worry about hurting him, or accidently leading him on.

When Jean’s eyes widened at the revelation, Eren hastily continued. “I didn’t tell him it was with _you_, don’t worry. I just said that I was also fooling around with another guy.”

“Oh,” Jean said after a moment. He was silent after that, apart from the grunts Eren got out from him by thumbing over the head of his cock. But Eren could tell that the guy was distracted. He didn’t really know why, but it was obvious that Jean wasn’t present, and Eren grumbled to himself as the pressure around his own cock decreased.

“What…” Jean eventually said, his voice quiet. “What did you tell Marco? About the other guy you were seeing?”

‘Seeing’ was a bit of an overstatement, but Eren could tell what he meant. Still making an effort to keep pumping Jean, even though they were both distracted now, Eren quirked an eyebrow.

“Just that we fooled around a bit every now and then. Told him that you had a nice dick and gave a good handjob, but apart from that not too much.”

Jean didn’t reply, but Eren could see the red tint to his cheeks.

“Why does it matter, though? He doesn’t even know…”

Oh.

Eren couldn’t stop the snicker that escaped his lips as he caught on to what was going on. Taking his hand off Jean, he excitedly rolled over onto his side, grinning at his friend, who was still blushing.

“You like him, don’t you? As in, _like_ _like_ him.”

“I never said that!”

“Come on, it’s obvious,” Eren crowed, feeling victorious. It did make sense, and all of a sudden Eren was thinking back to all the times Jean had talked to Marco, tripping over his words. How he’d been particularly embarrassed when Eren had insulted him back at Historia’s party, _in front of Marco_. Not to mention the extra crabby mood he’d be in whenever Eren came back from hanging out with him.

Eventually, Jean relented. “It’s not a big deal, Yeager. Sure, I think the guy’s cute. But he’s _your_ guy. Please don’t make this a thing, dude.”

“He’s not _my_ guy, you know that right? Why don’t I put-”

“Just drop it, okay?!”

He looked dismissive, but Eren had gotten the hang of deciphering Jean Kirschtein, and knew that this meant something to him. Sure, Eren liked Marco. A lot. They had a tonne of fun together. And the sex was amazing.

But Jean was his friend.

So even though Eren just nodded, and a few minutes later helped to bring Jean to a sharp climax, he was already thinking of how he’d have to end things with Marco.

***

**Now.**

With a final grunt, Eren succeeded in rolling the woollen rug into a long sausage, making sure blood wasn’t dripping out from within it. It’d been a struggle, but eventually, they’d been able to conceal the body within the roll, leaving them now with the heavy task of lugging it down the stairs and out of the building.

But then what? Eren had no idea, his mind a mess of erratic thoughts and plans. They hadn’t thought that far ahead, but all that mattered at the moment was cleaning up their (his) mess, because someone could arrive at any moment.

Not to mention, there was the _other_ person to worry about.

On his way to get more towels, Eren glanced into the bathroom at the end of the hall, and was relieved to see nothing had changed there. With all that had gone on afterward, he’d almost forgotten about it, but now it was added to his ever-growing list of problems.

Glancing at his phone, Eren swore. It was past 9:30 now. If they took any longer, then people would begin to notice their absence from the fundraiser. But they still had to find somewhere to dump the body, not to mention clean up the murder scene, which in of itself seemed like an impossible job.

“I found more towels,” he supplied weakly as he walked back into the main room.

Mikasa and Levi turned to look at him. Luckily, Mikasa had shrugged her jacket over her, covering the blood now smeared on her shirt. But Levi was a mess, still bleeding from the nose despite the tissues that he’d stuffed up his nostrils, his usual pale skin now seemingly stained red. Still, he looked like he’d regained his composure now, at least judging by the way he was no longer yelling at either of them.

After having Mikasa help him get as clean as he could, Eren surveyed the room. Luckily, the blood was still pooled on the wooden floor, with most of the furniture having been spared.

“I have an idea where to go,” Mikasa said suddenly, surprising Eren.

That was good at least, even if Eren didn’t know what she was talking about. Still, he was again thankful that he’d called her, because of course Mikasa would know what to do.

Last time, they’d had help. But now? He, Mikasa and Levi were on their own.

“Someone has to stay and clean this up,” he muttered, and looked at Levi. Mikasa was already staring his way too, because it was obvious.

“Ugh, fine,” the shorter man sighed, “I’ll need to have a shower afterward, anyway. Just make sure you’re careful on your way out with him.” He gestured to the rolled-up sausage on the floor.

“Thanks,” Eren breathed in relief. “Mikasa and I should be able to manage it between us.”

At that mention, Mikasa looked up sharply. “But Eren, your ribs-”

“-Will be fine,” he cut in, but truthfully, he wasn’t sure. “I’m more worried about how we’re gonna explain the missing rug.”

“We’ll think of something,” Mikasa began, but was cut off when a phone started to ring.

It was Eren’s.

Both Mikasa and Levi looked at him sharply, their eyes widened in worry. Fuck, how was Eren supposed to talk to someone in the state he was in. Tentatively, Eren pulled his phone back out of his pocket, only to freeze when he saw the number dialling him.

“Who is it?” Levi asked, still frozen.

Instead of answering, Eren just turned his screen to show them, and watched the colour drain from their faces.

Erwin Smith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! Let me know what you think, things are going to start heating up soon, and hopefully some more seeds will be planted that lead up to the big moment coming up.
> 
> Next time: Eren discovers a little more about Levi, and takes a risk.


	6. In the Pursuit of Feeling, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hit me.”
> 
> “… Are you sure? You’re at 19 already, I don’t think it’s gonna end well, buddy.”
> 
> “Just fucking hit me!”
> 
> Reiner arched an eyebrow at him, but didn’t stop grinning as he slammed another card down on the table.
> 
> 23\. Fuck.
> 
> “Do you suck at just blackjack, or every card game you play Eren?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back with another chapter. This ones a meaty one, and was originally much long, but I cut it down into a two-parter, so that the story flowed better. Expect part two of this night next week.
> 
> I'm also going to put a warning here: There is explicit drug-use during in this chapter (and in future chapters). Nothing too over the top, but it does contribute to the story going forward. Personally, I'm a big proponent for safe drug usage and pill testing, and it might shine through in the language I use, but I wanted to put a warning here in case anyone has had a particularly rough experience.
> 
> Anyway, on with the chapter!

**Then. Five Weeks Ago**

“… This is brilliant, Eren.”

Stunned, Eren blinked a few times at the praise, before beaming across the desk at Erwin. He was still staring at his computer, where he’d been scanning the rough draft of Eren’s paper that he’d just emailed over. With three weeks still left until the due date, Eren was well ahead of schedule, especially compared to Connie, who hadn’t even picked his topic yet.

Then again, it was safe to say that Connie was fucked when it came to passing this particular class.

More and more, Eren had been finding a genuine passion for Erwin’s subject, sometimes more so than his other core science units. It was unexpected, although Eren did wonder if he’d still be this engaged with a different lecturer, because Erwin was brilliant. Raw sexual magnetism aside, Erwin managed to captivate Eren with every lecture, always keeping his attention with well thought-out examples and techniques to make history, a subject which was known for being dry, always interesting. Compared to Eren’s stodgy chemistry and biology lecturers, the guy was on a whole other level.

Which was why it meant so much to Eren that he was impressing him.

When Erwin finally looked up from the computer screen, he was smiling widely.

“You’re really pushing the boundaries of higher-level thinking with this paper, Eren. It’s safe to say that this is one of the most promising pieces of work I’ve seen from a freshman in years.”

Bright red, but still burning with pride, Eren smiled sheepishly. “Thanks, Erwin. I really enjoyed the research process.”

“I can see that. And that’s the most impressive part. Most of the texts you’ve cited as sources aren’t stocked in the university’s library. A few of them I even recognise as editions I’ve been trying to locate for some time now. Did you acquire them from your home?”

Eren nodded. “I’ve got this friend, Armin. His grandpa is a librarian back in Shiganshina, and has access to a massive collection of old records. I was able to get him to scan some of the relevant chapters and send them to me.”

To his surprise, not only did Erwin look impressed now, but envious. “I would very much like to see these scans, if that would be okay.”

“Of course! I’ll bring them with me next week, sir.”

The thankful smile he got in return from his professor sent chills through Eren because fucking hell, he was radiant. Once again, Eren felt himself become transfixed with the older man’s features, the strong jawline and full lips, and goddamn all he was to do was shove his tongue right down-

“On that note, I have an offer for you, Eren.” Erwin’s words cut through Eren’s fantasies, and he chastised himself for daydreaming once again in the man’s presence. When he looked back to Erwin, he was fully focussed.

“I’ve enjoyed our talks, Eren, and I can tell that you have a unique mind for someone your age. You think bigger than most students, always looking for the greater meaning.” Again, Eren shuffled in his seat at the blatant praise, but stayed silent. “The following Friday night there is going to be a symposium held at the university, with some of the greatest historians in the country attending. I was thinking you’d gain a lot if you joined me in attending.”

Oh. Eren hadn’t been expecting that. The suggestion was unorthodox, especially coming from his college professor, and the instinctive surge of excitement that ran through him was enough to let Eren know what his answer was.

“I’d love to go, Erwin! Thanks so much. I’ll make sure to rearrange my plans.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to come in between anything-”

“Don’t worry,” Eren cut in, “I was just going to be helping to plan the GSA fundraiser, but it’s weeks away so they’ll be fine without me for that night.”

Erwin coughed, and Eren had to supress a grin. He’d been wanting to insert that little titbit of information for a while now, that he was part of the GSA, but hadn’t known where to start. It was a dangerous game he was playing, and Eren knew it would likely blow up in his face, but he couldn’t help it. He had to try.

“I hope the preparations are going well. From what I remember, the event last year was a big hit, even if it was somewhat… disorderly.”

That got a laugh from Eren, because from what he’d heard, disorderly was an understatement. Despite the extra stress they were under to organise it, Eren was looking forward to the day, if for nothing else than that he would get to get blind drunk with his friends. Not to mention that Armin would be there as well.

Seeing that it was almost time for his next class, a biology lab, Eren made his excuses. Upon standing up, he made sure to shake Erwin’s hand, however.

“I can’t thank you enough, Erwin. I really appreciate all the help you’ve given me.”

“All I’ve done is help steer you. It was your brilliant mind that put pen to paper, so to speak.”

Erwin’s mouth was curved upward and holy shit, they were still grasping each other’s hands. It’d been way too long by now, but Eren wasn’t going to be the one to let go, not when Erwin’s palm was warm against his, callused fingers gripping around him. God, he could just imagine how they’d feel gripping someone else.

The older man was staring at him, his expression open and sincere, fully aware of what he was doing.

Fuck. Fuck. This was happening.

“Eren-”

The door to Erwin’s office slammed open without a knock, and Eren jerked back like he’d been burnt. Ripping his hand out from Erwin’s, Eren took a step back, before glancing up at the newcomer.

“Professor Dok, I’m sure you’re aware of providing others the curtesy of knocking.”

Erwin’s tone was back to his usual, professional self, and Eren followed his gaze to the man at the door. He looked about Erwin’s age, maybe a bit older, with shaggy dark hair and a light beard. Recognising him to be Nile Dok, one of the other lecturers in the history department at Trost, Eren grimaced. Dok had taken over one of the history lectures at the start of the semester, when Erwin had been absent. It’d been the most boring lecture Eren had ever sat through, mostly in part due to Dok seemingly having the personality of cardboard.

Even now, Dok just sneered at Erwin, clearly choosing to ignore the man’s previous words.

“Erwin, I need to speak to you. It’s quite a pressing matter, if you don’t mind.”

Despite the clear annoyance in his eyes, Erwin plastered a smile to his face. “I’m with a student at the moment, Professor. I’m sure whatever-”

“Office hours are over, I believe, Erwin.”

God, Eren wanted to deck this asshole in the face. Feeling an unreasonable level of anger surge through him, Eren focused on breathing slower, and gradually, unclenched his fists.

“Nile, your tone-”

“It’s okay, Er- Professor,” Eren cut in, already rising to his feet and collecting his bag. It was clear that whatever was going on, it was bigger than Eren, and it would be for the best if he left.

He smiled reassuringly at Erwin, but withered when he passed Dok on his way out of the room. The guy was clearly a dick, but Eren wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of getting a rise from him.

Not even after the asshole had just interrupted a moment between Erwin and him, because fuck what anyone else thought, Eren knew that they had something now.

***

“Hit me.”

“… Are you sure? You’re at 19 already, I don’t think it’s gonna end well, buddy.”

“Just fucking hit me!”

Reiner arched an eyebrow at him, but didn’t stop grinning as he slammed another card down on the table.

23\. Fuck.

Eren groaned loudly, but otherwise fulfilled his duty of finishing his drink as Reiner turned to the next person in the circle. He winced once the beer had slid down his throat because holy shit, he was drunker than he’d thought he was.

As Annie took her turn in the game, Mike grinned from Eren’s other side.

“Do you suck at just blackjack, or every card game you play Eren?”

“He just sucks at everything,” Jean grumbled from nearby, making Eren screw up his face and flip him off. There was an innuendo in there, but Eren wasn’t quite drunk enough yet to comment on it.

They were back at Historia’s apartment, which Eren was quickly realising was the de facto party house for their group of friends. And it felt amazing to be able to say that now, that he was part of the group. Because in addition to chatting easily with Mike while they played, Eren had already talked with Petra and Eld, the conversation flowing naturally with no awkwardness at all. It was freeing, to be among people who genuinely liked him, and to feel like he was part of something bigger.

The only downside was the Levi wasn’t there.

And Eren knew it was irresponsible of him, to lust after both Erwin and Levi simultaneously. They both seemed to be equally unattainable, but so different that his attraction to them both seemed like it was meant to be there. Erwin was the good, law-abiding professor, always speaking with long words and never putting a foot wrong. Levi, on the other hand, was anything but, and seemed to be the literal definition of bad-boy, if the stories of him Eren had heard from Hanji and Petra were anything to go by.

Even though Marco wasn’t there tonight, things had ended well between him and Eren. It’d almost been anti-climactic, the way Eren had simply let him know that they had to stop fooling around. For days, he’d built it up to something massive in his head, fearing that Marco would flip out because Eren didn’t have a proper reason for ending things. But Marco had just shrugged, still looking a little disappointed but not altogether crushed when Eren broke the news.

“I get it, Eren,” Marco had placated him, when Eren had tried to give a reason. “It was just a temporary thing, I knew that from the start.”

“I still want to be friends, though,” Eren had shot back immediately.

“Good, because you’re stuck with me.”

Eren’s reasoning had been pretty pathetic, because he couldn’t very well mention Jean’s crush on the guy during his explanation, but Marco hadn’t taken it personally. And that was the thing Eren had kind of loved about him, that he was so aloof to everything that happened, and seemed to not have a care in the world as long as everyone was happy.

Since that day, Eren had run into him twice, and had been thrilled to discover that there’d been no awkwardness between them, which seemed almost too good to be true. Almost like Marco knew something that Eren didn’t.

Eren might’ve stopped sleeping with him, but it was promising to know their friendship would survive.

Looking around the room, it was actually a largely different crowd to what he was used to at these events. The regulars were there, of course, with Hanji and Ymir screeching above the music at each other, and their significant others trying to calm them down. Reiner and Bertholdt had made an appearance as well, which Eren was glad for, because aside from their collective hotness as a pair, the two of them were genuinely fun to hang around.

There were others that Eren didn’t know the name of, mostly friends of Mike or Petra and Eld, but Eren didn’t feel too out of the loop. Even with Mikasa and Connie not there, due to having to study for their upcoming tests.

Eren missed Mikasa’s presence, he really did. But it was validating to know that he could fit in even without her.

A loud cheer brought his attention back to the game, and Eren turned in surprise to see Sasha chugging her drink. Eren joined in the chanting, grinning when she finished easily. God, that girl could sure put it away.

“She’s gonna be dead in an hour,” Annie muttered from beside him, and Eren snickered.

Annie’s quiet bluntness had grown on him, over the weeks. While he hadn’t had much to do with her initially, her unexpected friendship with Mikasa had brought her into Eren’s life more than he’d anticipated. And after getting passed her intimidating as fuck persona, Eren had come to see why Mikasa liked her so much. The two of them were similar, used to guarding their emotions from other people, only letting their walls down when comfortable. So Eren had made a concerted effort to get to know her, and had been pleasantly surprised as a result.

And the fact that Mikasa now did MMA with Annie, and Reiner as well? That just made his sister more terrifying.

It didn’t take long for their small circle to disband and intermingle with the other people present, and Eren found himself with Jean and Bertholdt.

“Your other half’s in good form tonight,” Jean commented to the tall, dark-haired man, nodding to the far side of the room, where Historia was doing a body shot off Reiner’s bare chest.

Fuck, Eren could see the guy’s muscles from here.

Bertholdt smiled back, for once looking completely relaxed. “I think he’s having a good day. He was bouncing off the walls all afternoon, trying to get me to pre-game with him at three o’clock. If I hadn’t have stopped him, we wouldn’t have made it here tonight.”

He was right. Reiner always seemed to be the life of the party, leading the charge when it came to drinking, and always egging others on to join him. But despite his size, Reiner was one of the biggest lightweights Eren had come across. Still, he always seemed to be in a downright positive mood, and had lifted Eren’s grumpy attitude once or twice in the past few weeks. Not only that, but Bertholdt himself seemed to be having fun as well, which Eren was glad for. The guy always seemed to be stuck looking after Reiner, or cleaning up the mess he made.

Suddenly, there was a rush of movement to the side, and a second later Annie was rushing a hunched over Sasha into the bathroom. No sooner had the door slammed shut behind them than there was the sound of the poor girl emptying her guts into the toilet, eliciting a collective wince of sympathy from everyone else present.

“Fucking knew it,” Jean scoffed, but was already finishing his beer. “Think I’m gonna help Annie get her home, I’m feeling a bit tired.”

He sounded genuinely concerned for Sasha’s wellbeing, but Eren knew there was more to it as well. It was clear that Jean was hoping that Marco would be here tonight, but with him not showing, his roommate’s eagerness for drinking had died down a bit.

“You right to get home okay?” Jean asked Eren, ten minutes later, as he and Annie helped Sasha towards the front door.

“Pfff,” Eren scoffed, already feeling a little buzzed. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

Minutes later, Eren mentally thanked himself for not going with them, because all of a sudden Levi was walking through the door.

“Levi!” Eren drunkenly cheered, alongside Hanji and Petra, who charged the poor fucker. While the shorter man dealt with hugging the two giggling drunks, Eren ignored Bertholdt’s quizzical stare. Yeah, he probably shouldn’t be this excited for Levi’s arrival, but he couldn’t help it.

To his surprise (and utter delight), Levi soon found his way over to them, nodding politely.

“Brats,” was all he said, but that was enough for Eren.

Launching into a form of chatter he could only manage while intoxicated, Eren babbled about nothing to Levi. He could feel Bertholdt’s gaze on them both, and for the first time, realised that it wasn’t just him that saw Levi as an enigma.

“Your other half isn’t here, I noticed,” Levi stated, when Eren finally took a breath.

Eren wasn’t sure whether he was talking about Mikasa, Jean or Marco, but in the end it didn’t really matter. None of them were here, so he shrugged. “They were killing my game, y’know? I work better alone.”

Bertholdt snorted into his drink, and Eren counted that as a point in his favour.

Levi just looked him up and down sceptically. “Your game? Let me know when that gets going.”

Oh, hell yes. Levi was flirting with him, right?

Before Eren could reply (and it was likely for the best, because he was about to embarrass himself), Hanji teared up to them, clearly excited.

“Levi! Did you bring it?”

Not sure what she was talking about, Eren just watched as Levi sighed. “God, give me a second, Shitty Glasses.”

But despite his apparent irritation, Levi was already reaching into the pocket of his ripped jeans, before pulling out a small, clear zip-lock bag. Filled with several clear-looking capsules.

Eyes wide, Eren stayed silent as the remaining people at the party gathered around. Back in high school, Eren had tried out smoking weed behind Mikasa’s back; some of the stuff that Thomas and Samuel had gotten their hands on, but this was something else entirely. He didn’t know exactly what was in the bag, but it was definitely illegal. No one else seemed to care, however, as Hanji took the bag from Levi and began to hand the capsules out to everyone. The drug was placed in his open palm without a second thought, and now Eren could see the small, white crystals inside the transparent capsules. It was only as Eren stared at it numbly that Hanji seemed to noticed his hesitation.

“Oh shit, you haven’t done caps before, have you, Eren?” Hanji asked him, thankfully keeping her voice soft. “Don’t feel pressured, okay? You want me to take it back?”

Eren was already shaking his head. “No, I’m game. Just… um, not really sure how to go about it.”

“Seriously, Eren,” Hanji replied. “If you don’t want to, I’ll take it right back this second. It’s as safe as E can be, Levi tested the whole batch for purity with his kit, but you can still say no anytime.”

Eren nodded, before glancing back down at the small weight in his hand. Now that Hanji had brought it up, Eren guessed that the drug in the capsules was MDMA, also called ecstasy. And while he was familiar with the idea of it, and had definitely heard other people bring up the phrase ‘caps’ before, Eren had never known anyone who had actually _done_ it.

But all around them, the others were going right for it. Ymir downed hers without a second thought, and too Eren’s surprise, Historia was right behind her. Mike and his friends were next, followed by Petra, Eld, Moblit and the others he didn’t know.

“Reiner…” Bertholdt trailed off next to him, but the beefy blonde had already swallowed his.

All of a sudden, Eren was acutely aware that he was the only freshmen still at the party.

He could also feel Levi’s eyes on him, and that seemed to matter most of all.

Eventually, after Levi, Hanji and even Bertholdt and taken theirs, it was just Eren left. Someone had handed him a glass of water, but Eren was still working up the courage to swallow the damn thing. He knew what peer pressure was, of course, but no one was pushing him, and the curiosity was burning at him. But he could just picture his father’s reaction, his mom’s disappointed eyes, and Zeke’s sneer at his stupidity.

But he was also done living by his family’s rules.

“Come on, Eren!” Reiner crowed from somewhere and okay, Eren took back what he’d thought about not being encouraged.

Was it still pressuring if he _wanted_ to do it?

God, Mikasa wasn’t going to be happy with him.

Because even while Ymir, Mike, Reiner and the rest of them cheered him on, Eren had already made up his mind. Sensing Levi’s eyes on him most of all, Eren quickly popped the cap into his mouth, swallowing it down with the glass of water before he could think twice. He could hear everyone around him roaring, and Reiner’s “he fucking did it!” drowned most of the other cheers out, but Eren mainly cared for Levi’s reaction, who had stayed silent.

Levi held his gaze for a few more seconds, before his lips quirked up at the side, the sign of approval evident.

“To the club!” Hanji suddenly yelled, and a second later Eren was being swept up in Reiner’s bulky arms, being lifted clean off the ground.

“You’re the man, Eren! And Jean said you’d be too boring for us,” he crowed, and Eren let himself be swept up in the impending rush, as well as feeling vindicated that he’d proved Jean wrong. Reiner eventually let him down as the group made its way out of the building and towards the main street nearby. Historia’s apartment was perfectly located between the university campus and the Trost city centre (another perk of being daughter of Rod Reiss, it seemed), and so whatever club Hanji had chosen for them would be nearby.

Next to Reiner, Bertholdt grinned kindly at him. “You won’t feel anything for the next half an hour or so, but if you feel panicked at all, just let us know, okay? Me and Reiner will look after you. Oh, and take this.”

When Bertholdt handed Eren a stick of gum, Eren quirked an eyebrow in question.

“Chew it, okay? Your jaw will thank me tomorrow.”

Despite not really knowing why, that seemed to settle Eren’s nerves a bit, even if he did feel a little guilty at his recklessness. Eren wanted to make his way over to Levi, who was walking ahead with Petra, Eld and two other guys he didn’t know the names of. But Reiner still had his arm slung over Eren’s shoulder, keeping him there with him and Bertholdt. Not that Eren minded, really. The two of them were fun to hang out with, not to mention hot as fuck.

By the time they made it to the club, Eren’s heart was thumping in his ears, and he felt lightheaded. Thankfully, Hanji knew the bouncer, and so they were able to skip the moderate line, and once they were inside the strobe lights bounced across Eren’s vision. It was clearly a gay club, but Eren was too high to really notice, and holy fuck when had that happened. It felt existential, like he wasn’t in his own body, and although Eren had done weed before, this was a whole other animal.

Eren didn’t even realise he was laughing out loud until Historia was tugging him by the wrist into the crowd, Ymir close behind her as always. It was a mass of bodies and glitter and light, and an instant later Historia and Ymir were laughing against each other’s lips, arms wrapped around each other as they danced and made out at the same time. Eren didn’t have a second to contemplate his third wheel status, because Reiner and Bertholdt were suddenly there pressing Eren between their bodies. And Eren hoped he looked as high as Reiner did, the blonde man’s pupils as wide as saucers and grinning from ear to ear.

His cheer was infectious, and as Reiner grabbed Eren by the back of the neck and gyrated their crotches together, he felt Bertholdt’s hand settle on his waist, sandwiching him between them. Bertholdt’s lips pressed to his ear, the man yelling over the pumping bass music.

“Feeling good?”

Eren just answered by grinding his ass back into the dark-haired man, and after getting a quick nip to the shell of his ear in return, the three of them were dancing. It felt fucking fantastic, like he was burning alive in the best possible way, feeling thousands of touches all over him every second. Eren looked up at the roof, letting the strobe lights glare right into his pupils, and “woooed” out loud, only for it to be drowned out by the music. All around them, people danced and grinded on each other, the energy of the room spurring Eren forward.

If he’d been thinking more, Eren would’ve noticed the implications of Reiner and Bertholdt paying particular attention to him. They always kept him between them, never dancing or touching each other unless it was through Eren. And Eren himself was riding high on the attention, letting Bertholdt’s hands hook into his beltloops as Reiner card his fingers down his chest.

He could see Hanji dancing with Moblit, along with Mike and their other friends. By now, Historia and Ymir were almost at second base, and that was definitely a hand down the front of Ymir’s jeans. And when Historia pulled back from their kiss with a wicked smirk, Eren laughed against Bertholdt’s shoulder, because he’d underestimated that little shit. Ymir’s eyes were wide but loving, and as they leant in to kiss again, Eren was distracted by someone bumping into him. Around their group, nameless strangers were grinding on each other, some necking filthily, and Eren just knew Hanji had picked this place for that reason. It seemed like the cliché, dirty as fuck type of place where every person inside was high on something.

And Eren fucking loved it.

Distantly, Eren was aware that Levi was here somewhere, and despite the desire to go find him, he found himself content to remain where he was. His vision blurred, just in the right way, and he swooned back into Bertholdt’s body, letting the taller man support him while he regained his composure. Reiner was in front of him, laughing and saying something that was inaudible over the music. Eren just grinned back, yelling that he felt fucking fantastic and then laughing again because his tongue felt fuzzy and heavy. He stepped away from Bertholdt, spinning around in a circle before jumping straight into Reiner’s arms, expecting to be caught.

Luckily, no matter how fucked off his head Reiner was, he managed to stop them both from falling, and then Eren was hooking his feet behind around the blonde’s waist. He didn’t even remember when they started kissing, but suddenly they were all over each other, Reiner still carrying Eren as he gripped his ass hard. Eren distantly heard someone cheer (someone would tell him later that it was Ymir), and as he groaned against Reiner’s lips, he was acutely aware of the kind of show he was putting on. It was like he could feel each set of eyes that was on him, and while it might’ve been the drugs, he wanted everyone to know what he could do.

Bending down, he bit the flesh of Reiner’s neck hard, before sucking on the skin. Fingers clenched in his hair, and as Reiner held him tightly, Eren kept suckling and grinding down against Reiner’s crotch. The guy was definitely hard, and Eren didn’t even have time to realise what he was doing before Reiner was letting him down, and he was turning around to kiss Bertholdt. By the time he was shoving his tongue down the taller man’s throat, Reiner was pressed up behind him, squishing him against Bertholdt’s chest. Eren moaned into the kiss, before feeling Reiner kiss down the back of his neck and slap him lightly on the ass.

Eren’s thought processes were foggy enough that by the time Reiner and Bertholdt broke away from him, he didn’t feel embarrassed as he wandered over to dance with Hanji and the others. He still didn’t know who a few of them were, although he was surprised to see Petra there and not Levi, who had seemingly vanished. Still, Eren felt carefree as he danced with them, at one point mock-grinding on a flustered Moblit purely for Hanji’s pleasure.

“I fucking love this guy!” Ymir screeched at one point, and Eren grinned widely at the validation.

Bertholdt came back with a drink a bit later, which Eren ended up drinking half of, sloppily kissing the dark-haired man as an apology when he pouted. Eren felt like he was on top of the world, with everyone around him laughing and smiling and having the time of their lives, and he just wished he’d found out how to be this happy earlier in life.

“Where’s Levi?” Hanji yelled to Petra when the music died down for a few seconds. Eren was glad he hadn’t been the one to ask, but had managed to overhear thanks to being next to them.

“Fucking some chick in the bathrooms, probably.”

Eren tried not to let that thought get to him, but as he began to jump up and down with the others to the next song, he couldn’t help but think of Levi. Fuck, he was jealous, because if Levi was going to get with anyone, it needed to be him.

In hindsight, it was bad idea to go to the bathroom in search of Levi, but to say Eren was thinking clearly right now was a complete joke. He didn’t even remember getting there, but suddenly he was standing in front of the dirty sink, listening for moans or any other sounds of fucking. At some point, that devolved into him leaning against the sink in question, swaying side to side as he fought to keep his eyes open.

“You okay, dude?”

Eren flinched and look over to where an attractive guy around his age was staring at him. His light-brown hair was messy, tousled in the right way that had Eren immediately checking him out, despite his compromised state.

“Yeah,” he responded, doing his best to stand up straight, “I’m just waiting for my friend to finish fucking.”

And yeah, Levi wasn’t in the bathroom, clearly. In fact, Eren was pretty sure that he and this new guy were the only ones there, but that didn’t really matter. He still felt high as balls, like he was acutely aware of each hair follicle on his skin, and then he was swaying again. The other guy went to catch him, but tripped over himself, making Eren realise that he was just as fucked up.

“Come on,” the guy beckoned, his voice slurring heavily as he grabbed Eren by the shoulder. “Let’s go find your friend.”

Shit, Eren had never been this out of control before, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop as he followed the random guy through the club, until he realised that he had no idea where he was. He didn’t feel panicked, not with his new friend to keep him company, so when they stumbled through another door and into a back alley, Eren just laughed.

“How’d we get here?”

The other man just shrugged his shoulders, before slumping against the brick wall. Eren could still hear the dull thump of the bass from inside, but other than that the area seemed to be quiet.

And honestly, Eren didn’t even know who’d started it, but a second later he was pressing the guy into the wall, licking into his mouth and messing up his hair even more. The guy kissed back hungrily, and then Eren was dropping to his knees, not thinking twice as he fumbled for the man’s belt.

“Oh fucking hell,” the guy mumbled, “you’re so hot.”

Spurred on by the encouragement, Eren finally unbuckled the belt, and after slipping the guy’s jeans and underwear down to his knees, wrapped his lips around his waiting cock. The guy wasn’t as big as what Eren was used to, and so Eren was able to comfortably take him down to the base, slurping noisily and breathing out of his nose. The guy’s cock felt heavy on his tongue, and the salty precum was quickly lapped up as Eren pulled back to swirl his tongue around the head.

He was distinctly aware that this wasn’t his best work, and even as he slobbered all over the cock in his mouth, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Spit spilled down over his chin, wetting the front of his shirt and making the blowjob even messier. But it was worth it, because as Eren looked up at the random guy (and fuck, he still didn’t even know the dude’s name), he swelled with pride at how _ruined_ he looked, eyes wide and mouth parted in awe of Eren’s skills.

Hand slinked through Eren’s hair, gripping him tightly without controlling him. Content that the guy was at least being a gentlemen, Eren kept going, licking up the underside of the his shaft. The wet length bounced off the bridge of his nose as he did so, coating him with more of his own saliva, and Eren didn’t think he’d ever given a blowjob this messy.

“Oh fuck,” the guy was muttering, as he gripped Eren’s hair tighter, and clearly about to cum. “oh fuck oh fuck oh fu-”

“Eren, what the fuck!”

Ymir’s shrill voice ripped through the night air, and Eren pulled back from the dick he was sucking in shock. Because Ymir, Historia, Reiner, Mike and Levi were there, having turned the corner into the alley from the main street. And suddenly Eren became completely aware that he was giving head to a random guy that he’d just met, in a dirty back alley, in front of half of his friends.

He did the only reasonable thing to do, which was to piss himself laughing.

“That’s Levi!” He giggled to the guy above him, pointing in Levi’s direction (and holy shit, he was fucked off his head). “That’s the guy we were trying to find!”

“Levi!” The guy cheered, not seeming embarrassed or pissed off at all as he dopily waved at the group.

Reiner was doubled over and shaking with laughter, and the others all seemed to be similarly amused, except for Levi. A raised eyebrow was all Eren got for being in the state he was in, expression as unreadable as always.

“At least let go of his dick, you idiot!” Reiner howled, and a moment later Eren was being swept away by his friends, barely managing to wave goodbye to his new friend before Reiner was scooping him up over his shoulder, playfully slapping him on the ass as he did so.

“Bye, random dude!” Eren waved to the guy, who despite literally being left with his dick in his hands, seemed nonplussed.

“My name’s Floch! Bye Eren!”

As Reiner carried him back to the group, Eren giggled. “Floch’s a silly name,” he slurred.

When Reiner finally put him down, Mike punched him on the shoulder. “You’re a crazy bastard, Eren! We’ve been looking for you for like an hour, we thought you’d gotten lost. It was lucky that Levi saw you go out the back.”

An hour? Shit.

Eren turned to Levi, who just shrugged. “You two weren’t exactly subtle.” He pulled a tissue out of his pocket, before handing it to Eren. “And clean yourself up, for fucks sake.”

Yeah, Eren probably needed to wipe the drool off his chin.

By the time they’d made it back to the front of the club, Eren had managed to get a piggyback from Reiner, who was still giggling and stumbling all over the place. The rest of the group, namely Bertholdt, Hanji, Moblit, Petra, Eld and the others he didn’t know, were gathered outside, and turned when Reiner yelled out.

“We found him! Little shit was giving head to some rando in the back alley!”

“Shut up!” Eren growled as he smacked Reiner on the head, blushing a little as the people in the line out front turned as well. He hid into the crook of Reiner’s neck, feeling his cheeks burning from more than just the drugs and alcohol.

The rest of the group had similar reactions to the ones that had found him, and by the time they were on their way back to Historia’s apartment, Hanji had officially crowned Eren “the best freshman ever”. Fighting down the pleased thrill that rocked him from hearing that, Eren had been formally introduced to Mike’s friends, Nanaba and Gelgar, as well as the guys that Petra and Eld had arrived with, called Oluo and Gunther. As they walked back, Eren contently nestled against Reiner’s neck, nipping at the skin as he went. There was already a large hickey formed from his earlier ministrations, and Eren was busy with the next one by the time they made it back.

Walking next to them, Bertholdt had a hand in Eren’s hair. Eren preened into the touch, feeling fingers scrape over his scalp and sending shivers through his body.

His white shirt was still damp with his own spit from earlier, and while it wasn’t the best look, he couldn’t really care enough to hide it. By now, he’d calmed down enough to recognise how crazy he’d acted, but didn’t regret a second of it. Sure, getting down on his knees for a random in the club had maybe been a bit far, but he oddly felt proud of himself.

After so many years of feeling like he couldn’t express himself entirely, it felt freeing to be so ridiculously slutty, even if it really wasn’t his true nature. Besides, he felt a little vindicated to surprise Ymir, Mike and a few of the others, who, while they hadn’t looked down on him, had probably thought of him as too reserved to truly hang out with them.

Sighing contently, he nestled in further onto Reiner’s back. He was young, he allowed to be crazy.

Eren just hoped that Mikasa wouldn’t freak when she found out.

***

**Now.**

By the time Eren and Mikasa had finally lugged the rolled-up rug, with the body inside, down the stairs and out onto the street, they were both panting. It’d been much heavier than they’d anticipated, and Eren’s ribs were screaming in protest with each heave, but it had to be done. Levi was still upstairs, which Eren was thankful for, because at least that way they might have a chance of cleaning up after themselves.

As they hauled their loot towards the street, Mikasa’s eyes narrowed upon recognising the vehicle Eren was leading them too.

“Is that Connie’s van?” She asked, looking surprised.

Eren just nodded. “Come on.”

Neither of them talked about the phone call. Of what had happened when Eren had tentatively answered.

He could still hear the gruff words from the other end of the line, rattling around in his brain.

“_I know you think you’re doing the right thing, Eren. But stop for one second and just think about this_.”

But no matter what happened, this probably wasn’t going to end well for Eren. Levi had been in this from the start, but he’d been selfish and gotten Mikasa roped in too. Sure, she’d dropped everything to help him without hesitation, but she would still go down with him when this all eventually went to shit.

Fumbling for the keys, Eren eventually managed to get the back doors to the mini-van unlocked. Swinging them wide, no sooner had he and Mikasa dumped the rug inside when there was a voice behind them, making Eren freeze.

“Eren? What’re you doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? As always, I love hearing from you guys in the comments, and kudos and feedback are greatly appreciated. Expect part two net week!


	7. In the Pursuit of Feeling, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thanks for looking out for me,” he mumbled, because even if it hadn’t been obvious, Levi had clearly been keeping track of him to have known where he was.
> 
> Levi was silent for a moment, before throwing back a quiet “don’t mention it, Eren,” and when Eren pulled back, the Levi had a small smirk on his face.
> 
> “Try not to fall onto another dick on your way back, Eren,” Hanji shouted as they left, and Eren playfully flipped her the bird on the way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back with part two of the massive chapter I cut in half. I've been blown away with the comments and support I've been getting, and hearing your theories as far as the murder goes has been a blast. Hope to see them keep coming through!
> 
> I'm gonna put another warning here, both for the continued drug use from part one (although it's not as explicit now), but also for in regards to the discussion of certain aspects of mental health. I've done a lot of research regarding the matters that are being discussed, both from my actual university studies and own interest. Still, if anyone is feeling particularly affected by the topics raised, feel free to step away.
> 
> Just wanted to chuck that in there, as the themes of this fic will slowly get darker as we get closer to the day of the murder.
> 
> Happy holidays guys!

**Then. Five Weeks Ago**

By the time they got back to Historia’s apartment, it was well past 3am, reminding Eren of how out of it he’d been that night. Already, most of the finer details of the night were a blur, but he didn’t really care, not when Reiner was currently leaving bite marks all down his neck.

Most of the group had clearly arranged to crash at Historia’s, despite the fact that Ymir had immediately dragged the her into the master bedroom upon entering the apartment. As per what he’d told Jean and Mikasa, Eren had been planning to do the same, but a nuzzle from Reiner caught his attention.

“Wanna come back to ours?” He asked, clearly looking hopeful.

And fucking yeah, Eren did. Remembering being told from someone at some point that the two men had bought their own apartment at the start of the year, away from campus, he nodded eagerly.

Bertholdt was clearly in agreement, and while Eren had forgotten about them momentarily earlier, he supposed that the night had always been heading in that direction. The three of them hugged everyone as they left, and when Eren approached Levi, he threw caution to the wind and wrapped the shorter man in a strong embrace.

“Thanks for looking out for me,” he mumbled, because even if it hadn’t been obvious, Levi had clearly been keeping track of him to have known where he was.

Levi was silent for a moment, before throwing back a quiet “don’t mention it, Eren,” and when Eren pulled back, the Levi had a small smirk on his face.

“Try not to fall onto another dick on your way back, Eren,” Hanji shouted as they left, and Eren playfully flipped her the bird on the way out.

After that, Eren let Reiner and Bertholdt lead the way outside, where one of them had clearly called a cab while saying goodbye, because they piled in with Eren between them. The ride back itself was a blur of kissing and hands all over the place, and while Eren felt bad for the driver, he was quickly distracted by Bertholdt’s hand stroking him through his jeans. Reiner was once again all over his mouth and neck, paying him back for all those earlier bites and bruises. Teeth scraped over Eren’s distressed skin, and as Bertholdt licked around the top of his ear, Eren moaned loudly. He didn’t want to think about what his neck and collarbones would look like tomorrow, but right now he was in the moment enough to beckon them both for more.

By the time the car parked outside Reiner and Bertholdt’s apartment building and the driver all but threw them out onto the sidewalk, Eren was a wreck in the two’s arms. Reiner shouted a half-hearted apology over his shoulder as the cab sped off, and then they were stumbling into the building and up the stairs. Stopping every few steps to fondle them more, Eren had to eventually be pulled away from Bertholdt, after he’d tried to get down on his knees and suck the man off right in the stairwell.

Eventually, they barged into the apartment, and despite being there for the first time, Eren paid no attention to the surroundings, instead busying himself with ripping of Bertholdt’s shirt. It was hard to do while kissing him, and Eren was pretty sure he teared off a button or two, but the other man didn’t seem to mind, judging by how he was moaning against Eren’s lips. Reiner was somewhere behind Bertholdt, and when Eren pulled back long enough to slip the Bertholdt’s shirt over his head, he was helped by him. Both of their hands were immediately over Bertholdt’s lean body, fingernails raking over skin and pinching at the nipples.

Bertholdt was similar to Eren in his build, relatively slim but muscular, and Eren remembered that the man was a swimmer. He was also mostly hairless, save for a small dusting of dark fuzz between his pecs and a thin trail leading down from the navel. Eren was immediately attracted to it, and for the second time in the last few minutes, dropped to his knees. He was already mouthing at the outline of Bertholdt’s cock when Reiner’s fingers carded through his hair, having wrapping himself around from behind Bertholdt’s body to guide Eren’s actions.

By the time Eren finally had Bertholdt’s cock free from the zipper and was shrugging the jeans down, Reiner was all but shoving him into it. He messily slurped over the head, before gagging on the length because damn, Bertholdt was bigger than he’d expected. Pulling back, he stroked over the shaft, before grinning up at its owner.

“Fucking donkey dick,” he slurred, still a little drunk (and probably still high as well), which got a small blush from Bertholdt as well as a smirk from Reiner.

“Told ya. Mr. Colossal over here can’t take a compliment,” Reiner laughed.

And it was true. Bertholdt’s cock was probably the biggest that Eren had ever had in his mouth, and he took his time with it, licking up the side of the shaft before suckling on the head. He was nearly twice as big as the guy he had started sucking off in the alley earlier, Floch, his brain recalled, and the contrast was evident, judging by the way he choked a second later. Reiner’s hands had migrated from his hair to the base of Bertholdt’s dick, and when Eren bobbed his head down, his lips kissed the fingers jacking the lower half off.

Bertholdt was all moans above him, and when Eren flicked his eyes up, he could see him kissing Reiner over his shoulder, who was still pressed flush against his back.

Fuck, this was insane.

Eren still didn’t quite understand what Bertholdt and Reiner were too each other, but it was definitely somewhere past platonic but not quite exclusive. There was definitely love between them, and when Reiner pulled back, Eren could see the pure adoration in his eyes. Bertholdt was similarly transfixed, and for a moment Eren felt like an outsider, but then Reiner was beckoning him back to his feet and capturing him in a long kiss. It wasn’t quite as loving as the one between the two of them, but definitely rawer and more animalistic, reminding Eren that he had a place here, with them.

Bertholdt was stepping out of his jeans, and as he bent down to undo his shoes and socks, Eren decided it was time that he and Reiner joined the Bertholdt in undressing. He helped Reiner out of his clothes, the sinfully tight shirt that had been showing off his massive muscles all night proving to be some trouble. But underneath, Reiner was glorious. All hulking might, biceps that felt as thick as Eren’s thighs and pecs probably bigger than many girls’ tits.

If Jean could see him now, with his hands splayed over Reiner’s monstrous pecs, the poor fucker would’ve freaked.

As Eren leant down to bite as his nipples, Reiner groaned. “Fuck yeah, Eren. Shit, you’re unbelievable.”

Grinning against Reiner’s nipple, Eren busied himself with undoing Reiner’s belt and helping him out of his jeans. The man’s thighs were like tree trunks, and when he bent down for his shoes, Eren got an eyeful of an ass that he just wanted to bury his face into. Suddenly, Bertholdt was with them again, and after a few more moments of attention to Eren’s clothes, all three of them were completely naked and wanting.

When Bertholdt leant down to kiss Eren once again, he was surprised when he felt a second pair of lips to the left-side of his mouth. Reiner didn’t hesitate to make the kiss into a three-way, and Eren and Bertholdt angled themselves to accommodate him. It was a sloppy mess of tongues and teeth, all elements of a typical kiss abandoned in favour of licking over each other’s lips and swapping spit. At one point, Bertholdt positioned his mouth above Reiner’s and slowly, tantalizingly, spat straight into his open mouth. The sight alone made Eren groan desperately, and then he was throwing himself at Reiner, licking up the small amount of saliva that had landed on his lip before shoving his tongue into Reiner’s mouth.

By the time he pulled back, Reiner’s smirking lips looked devilishly swollen and bright pink. Looking wrecked, he moaned again when Bertholdt wrapped his long fingers around his cock. Reiner’s dick was smaller than Bertholdt’s, about the same length as Eren’s but curving to the left. It had a thick vein running over the top, and Eren was about to bend down to lick at it before he was interrupted.

Bertholdt grinned, surprisingly confident despite his usual silence. “Tell us what you want, Reiner.”

Reiner didn’t hesitate. “Want you to fuck me.” That caught Eren off guard, but then Reiner was kissing him, before continuing to talk against his lips. “Wanna help spitroast me, Eren?” And even if Eren hadn’t have been game (because of fucking course he was), the pure excitement in Reiner’s tone would’ve spurred him on to wanting it.

The bedroom that Bertholdt led them to was clearly a joint room, despite the fact that he and Reiner were still apparently “not together”. Eren could see Reiner’s leather jacket slung over the desk chair, and those were definitely Bertholdt’s reading glasses on the bedside table. But he was shaken out of his thoughts of domesticity by Reiner, who had already climbed onto the bed on all fours.

Eren was quick to follow his lead, kneeling on the sheets in front of Reiner’s head and letting him swallow him down. Reiner was clearly enthusiastic to be sucking him off, judging by the muffled moans he was making despite getting no pleasure himself. A moment later, Bertholdt joined them, already pouring lube over his fingers to prepare Reiner. He wasted no time in getting to work, and while Eren couldn’t see the action, Reiner’s moans increasing in volume around Eren’s cock were evidence enough. Bertholdt’s arm was quivering from where he was fingering Reiner, and Eren groaned and tried not to buck his hips too far.

Sensing Eren’s eyes on him, Bertholdt looked up and smirked. “So glad you get to see him like this, Eren. All loose and begging for dick. He’s been wanting this all night, even prepared himself this afternoon to wait for me.”

It was something Eren honestly hadn’t seen coming, really. Call him old fashioned, but with Reiner being the bulkier, more confident of the two, he’d imagined that he would be dominant in bed towards the shy, quiet Bertholdt. But this was something else, and Eren could see it in the hard stare of Bertholdt’s eyes that he was used to this. To making Reiner his.

At that moment, Reiner pulled off Eren’s cock with a gasp. He looked deliciously wrecked, eyes watering and a string of spit still connecting him to Eren.

“Fuck my face, baby. Want you to make me choke on it.”

And all Eren needed was an affirming nod from Bertholdt before he was off, thrusting heavily into Reiner’s throat. As Bertholdt clearly added another finger into his hole, Reiner gagged loudly around Eren, throat convulsing. Eren swore he’d never heard a sexier sound, and followed it up by punishing Reiner’s throat, bucking his hips with abandon. Saliva was pooling around the corner of Reiner’s mouth, the guy making no effort to make himself look presentable as he slurped wetly around the shaft.

Eventually, Bertholdt removed his fingers from Reiner, and after wiping them on the sheets, was slicking his dick up with more lube. And as he lined himself up with Reiner’s hole, Eren’s eyes widened, because there wasn’t a condom in sight.

As if sensing his surprise, Bertholdt looked up. “Reiner and I fuck raw, but we’ve got a condom here for when it’s your turn. Is that okay?”

Eren was already nodding, eyes glued to Bertholdt’s cock as he slid straight into Reiner. He did it with such a force that it pushed Reiner down to the root of Eren’s own dick, a wet noise coming from his mouth. Reiner was gasping around his cock, something that only increased in pitch and volume as Berthold slowly began to thrust. It was stunning to watch, the way Bertholdt’s abs rippled with the action, the way his hips arced in a perfect roll, so that he was pressed flush to Reiner’s fat ass.

“Oh god, fuck me Bertl,” Reiner groaned when he finally pulled off Eren’s cock. His voice sounded rough, like Eren had ripped his throat to shreds, and as Bertholdt picked up speed, Reiner continued to jack Eren off.

Bertholdt’s breath began to come in quick gasps, and despite his unprecedented dominance, Eren could tell that the he was just as affected by the situation as they were. His hands came to rest at Reiner’s hips, gripping him tight, and as the thick slaps of skin on skin began to punctuate the air, Reiner threw himself back onto Eren’s cock. The rhythm was dynamic, ferocious yet intimate, and it was everything Eren could do to stop himself from throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. Because he wasn’t going to miss this sight for the world, not when he and Bertholdt were bouncing Reiner back and forth between them like a fucking tennis ball.

It was messy, so fucking messy. Once or twice, there was the painful scrape of teeth against his cock, making Eren gasp and flinch as Reiner lost control. But in the context of everything, it was so fucking small that Eren brushed it off, more than happy to let Reiner’s teeth graze him over and over again if it meant he kept getting to watch the Reiner sob around him. And those were fucking tears down Reiner’s cheeks, probably more likely to be from Eren’s thrusts making his eyes water than from actually being reduced to crying.

The gags coming from Reiner were relentless, and Eren was still in awe at how the he was holding up between them, because this was fucking brutal. At one point, Bertholdt actually leaned forward to shove Reiner’s head further down Eren’s cock, and the way the Reiner’s ridiculously large back muscles tensed in front of his eyes was proof enough of the state Reiner was in.

“I’m close,” Bertholdt gasped out, all of a sudden, and Eren realised that those words were directed at him and not to Reiner.

Eren thought at first that it was a sign for him to take over to give Bertholdt a break, but then the Bertholdt was leaning over Reiner’s back, so that he was close to his ear.

“Gonna paint you all over, baby.”

The words were filthy, and Reiner’s desperate whines made it clear that they had the desired effect. A few seconds later, Bertholdt’s hips stuttered, and he bit his bottom lip and groaned, long and deep. Reiner’s movements around Eren’s cock became frantic, and it was clear that Bertholdt was blowing inside him, something that almost made Eren cum as well, right there and then. But he’d be damned if he missed out on Reiner’s ass that night, so he reluctantly pulled away from the mouth on him, letting the formally muffled moans be heard clearly. The gasps coming from Reiner were low, masculine yet frantic at the same time, and a literal sweat had broken out on his forehead.

Eren allowed Reiner and Berthold that moment to each other, as Bertholdt leant forward again to pull Reiner up, so that they were both kneeling. Reiner turned his head and kissed the other man over his shoulder, and now that they were vertical Eren could see the Reiner’s cock, rock hard and angry, having been ignored the whole time. Eventually, Bertholdt let Reiner down, and as he gently pulled out of his ass, Eren was already shuffling round to the other side of the bed.

He’d seen Reiner’s ass before, when they were in the main room and again when moving to the bed, but to see it like this now, raw and loose from Bertholdt’s massive cock, was another thing entirely. His hole was bright red, gaping just a little from being used by something so big. And when the slightest amount of cum began to dribble out, Eren whined needily, before diving right in. He heard Bertholdt gasp in surprise next to him, but didn’t care because he was licking the seed right out of Reiner, sealing his lips around the rim and sucking to get more out.

“Fu- Eren!” Reiner moaned, and Eren joined him in making desperate grunts when he got another bit of cum from Reiner’s hole.

A hand stroked over his shoulders. “You’re amazing, Eren. Fuck, you’re so good for us,” Bertholdt whispered, soft but rough.

Eventually, Eren lapped up all he could, and as he reluctantly withdrew from Reiner’s cheeks, he slapped him on the left one for good measure. The muscular flesh jiggled a bit, and Eren bit back a hungry moan. Fucking hell, he’d have played with that ass all night if it wasn’t already so late.

“You two are gonna kill me,” Reiner was panting when he finished, laughing a little but still sounding ravaged.

Bertholdt already had the lube and condom ready for Eren when regained his composure, so it didn’t take long to get ready and slick himself up. Reiner’s ass was still wet from lube and Eren’s spit, so it didn’t need any more work. But just as Eren went to push into the bigger man, Bertholdt stopped him.

“Wait,” he ordered and fucking hell, Eren did. “Wanna see you ride him Reiner.”

Now that he could get on board with. Despite finishing, Bertholdt was still clearly in charge, and as Eren let himself be directed to lie down on the bed, Reiner groggily picked himself up. He sniffled wetly, but made no effort to wipe his wet mouth and chin, before climbing over to Eren.

And goddamn, that big fucker knew the effect he was having on Eren, judging by the way he was smirking as he positioned himself, _ass facing Eren_. He wasted no time in sitting on Eren’s cock, ass cheeks jiggling again as he bottomed out. Eren groaned, longer and more desperately than he had all night, drinking in the dramatic taper of Reiner’s broad shoulders to his ridiculously narrow waist. His body was a literal fucking triangle, with a muscular ass to match that bounced when he began to fuck himself on Eren’s cock.

“Fucking hell,” Eren moaned, rubbing his eyes as he lay back and let Reiner use his dick. “God, Reiner.”

“He’s amazing, isn’t he.” Bertholdt had draped himself beside Eren and shit, wasn’t he feeling talkative tonight? Bertholdt stroked his fingers over Eren’s chest, tweaking his nipples before leaning in to bite them. That made Eren cry out again, and Reiner’s thrusts were so fucking powerful that his pelvis was actually hurting, like he was being fucked right into the mattress. Reiner was bent over Eren’s legs, bracing himself with his arms while fucking down onto him with rigorous abandon.

“Fuck fuck fuck…” Reiner was chanting loudly, over and over again, still sounding just as broken despite the fact that he was in control now. His ass was pounding into Eren’s hips violently, and while Eren’s eyes were glued to his cock disappearing into Reiner’s hole, he couldn’t help but admire the rest of the man’s godly body, so much larger than his and Bertholdt’s.

Eventually, Reiner’s flexing hole and bouncing cheeks became too much for Eren, and he swallowed down a sharp grunt. “I’m close.”

Bertholdt hummed and pulled off his nipples, pleased. “Wanna see you blow all over Reiner’s chest.”

And yeah, too say Eren would be game for that would be the understatement of the year. Hearing them, Reiner reluctantly sat up, the swollen cock falling out of him and slapping back onto Eren’s navel. They were quick to shuffle around, so that Reiner was on his back again, and Eren was straddling his stomach, pulling off the condom and jacking himself off with lightning fast movements.

It didn’t take longer than a few more seconds before he was cumming, splattering his seed all over Reiner’s pectoral muscles. The first few ropes actually shot further, coating Reiner’s lips and chin, but the rest dribbled over his pecs and nipples, Bertholdt right there to rub it into the Reiner’s skin all the while. By the time Eren finished, he was a shaking mess, legs quivering as he struggled not to collapse on top of Reiner.

When he regained his strength, Eren surged forward, capturing Reiner’s lips and licking his own cum off them. Reiner moaned, more desperately than expected, and after a second Eren realised that Bertholdt had started sucking the him off. The last man standing had obviously been inches away from blowing himself, and Eren kept the kiss going as he came, letting Reiner swear into his mouth as they made out.

Eren pulled back after that, looking down at Reiner’s shattered expression before turning to a breathless Bertholdt.

“Holy shit.”

The three of them were laughing soon after that, mostly from the exhaustion of what they’d been through, but also in amazement. They fell asleep like that, naked and tangled together, with night gone and sun almost ready to rise.

***

The first thing Eren became aware of when he woke up was the foot in his face.

And while Reiner’s feet weren’t smelly or anything, it was still a foot, so he rolled away and scrunched his face. Reiner was still naked, but had moved in the night so that he was wrapped entirely in the duvet, leaving Eren bare and off to the side. How he’d ended up head-to-toe with the guy, he had no fucking clue.

They were alone in the bed, but Eren could smell coffee in the next room, which meant that Bertholdt had probably just gotten up. When he shifted, Eren was surprised to find out that he felt fine, almost no hangover at all. Apart from the cap, he’d only had one drink at the club, so that was to be expected, but it was a relief to see that he was fine with the drug itself.

Hanji had warned him that he might have a come-down of sorts, where his body felt the low that came after the high. But it hadn’t hit, not yet at least, and while he knew that sometimes it could take more than a day, he was feeling in good spirits, so took that a win. And given how he usually ended up the morning after drinking, Eren felt extra lucky.

Still, his jaw ached like a motherfucker, probably due to the excessive clenching that had come after he’d lost his chewing gum.

A glance at the clock on the wall showed it was only 8:30, which explained why he was still tired. Still, Eren knew that he wouldn’t sleep well after using, despite how late they’d gone to bed. The case was obviously the same for Bertholdt, judging by how he was up.

Eren intended to be quiet as he sat up, but upon glancing at Reiner he was surprised to see the man was actually awake. His were open, but he remained rolled on his side, resting his head on his bicep.

“Morning,” Eren greeted, “you feeling like shit?”

Again, he was caught off guard when Reiner didn’t so much as acknowledge him, never mind actually reply. In fact, apart from the quick flicker of his pupils, the man didn’t so much as move, and Eren leant forward, concerned.

“Seriously, are you okay? Do you need me to get Bertl?”

Whatever he’d been expecting from Reiner, it hadn’t been the reaction he got. Because Reiner grunted, as if he was annoyed by Eren, before rolling over more so that Eren couldn’t see his face. All the while, he pulled the blankets tighter, wrapping himself up like a sausage.

“Wow,” Eren muttered, feeling scathed and a little pissed off, “I’ll leave you alone then.”

Predictably, the body that was formally Reiner Braun didn’t move an inch as he got up, searching for his underwear. While he doubted Bertholdt would care if he walked out naked, Eren preferred to cover himself up at least a little. Although, with Reiner acting like a stuck-up prick, should he expect Bertholdt to be any better?

But as Eren exited the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him, Bertholdt grinned from where he was brewing a pot of coffee in the kitchen.

“Morning, Eren,” he greeted, looking far too happy for someone who’d slept so little. Like Eren, he was wearing only a pair of boxer briefs, and Eren could see the guy’s cock under the tight cotton.

Fuck, even soft, Bertholdt was a monster.

Eren grunted back, nodding politely while tiredly rubbing his eyes. He was too tired to think about sex right now, at least until he had some caffeine in him. “Did you make enough coffee for two?”

“Sure. Reiner still asleep?”

Deciding to be honest, Eren shrugged. “He’s awake. Acting weird, though.”

He was so sleep-deprived that Eren almost missed the subtle change in Bertholdt’s disposition. It wasn’t anything dramatic, but as Bertholdt set the first steaming cup of coffee down on the bench, his expression turned serious and his eyebrows furrowed.

“How so?”

“I dunno, he’s just ignoring me. I think he’s feeling awkward about last night? The guy’s just staring at the wall, not even reacting to me. Totally dick move if I’m being honest…”

Bertholdt’s move was instantaneous, and he breezed past Eren and towards the bedroom. For a moment, Eren thought he was going to chew Reiner out, but as he entered the room, Eren heard him mutter something warm and loving, before closing the door behind him. That left Eren alone in the main room, and without anything to do, he picked up the still full mug left by Bertholdt, sipping the scalding hot coffee while moving to the sofa.

It was a little cold in the apartment, so Eren was thankful for the big, woolly rug on the floor, which warmed his feet a little as he ran his toes through it.

He’d left his phone in the room with Reiner and Bertholdt, and despite his curiosity, he decided to afford the two some privacy, instead opting to turn on the TV. The first thing that appeared was some morning news show, the kind of one where everyone was way too happy to be up at that hour. Eren just sipped away at his coffee, listening to the anchors discuss whatever was relevant while he waited for the other two.

If he was honest, he was curious as fuck to know what was going on, but fought down the urge to panic and instead focused on the screen in front of him. Reiner and Bertholdt were his friends, and whatever this was, they’d be fine.

And if things weren’t going to be fine, then fuck them. Eren wasn’t going to waste any more of his life on people who didn’t want to be around him.

By the time Bertholdt finally re-emerged from the room, a full twenty minutes had passed. The taller man was fully dressed, wearing a plain shirt and a pair of jeans, not quite as tight as the ones from last night but still form-fitting. He was also wearing his glasses and carrying Eren’s clothes and phone in his arms.

“Hey,” he murmured, as he closed the door behind him. Still no sign of Reiner. “Wanna go for a walk? Get a coffee?”

And despite the fact that there was a fresh brew right behind them, Eren nodded and turned off the TV, because the expression on Bertholdt’s face told him this was serious. He got dressed quickly, grateful that the morning weather was warm as they left the apartment. Bertholdt locked the door behind him, and then they walked in silence out of the building.

In fact, Bertholdt didn’t speak for the entire walk to the café at the end of the street, and despite his burning interest, Eren let him think. Obviously, whatever was going on was more serious than he’d thought, and despite everything, Eren fought down the urge to panic. This likely wasn’t about him, and if it was, there was no use worrying about it until he found out why.

It wasn’t until ten minutes later, after they’d ordered their coffees and sat down at a small table by the window, that Berthold took a sip of his before finally speaking.

“Reiner… has bipolar disorder.”

And fuck, whatever Eren had been expecting, it wasn’t that. It felt like all the wind had been knocked out of him, and all at once Eren felt terrible. He’d been so ignorant that morning, calling Reiner a prick and walking out on him, thinking about himself as usual. Bertholdt was staring down at his coffee, not able to meet Eren’s eyes, and he could see the worried yet resigned expression on the man’s face.

“Shit,” Eren breathed, still not sure what to say or how to process what he was feeling, “I had no idea.”

Bertholdt swallowed. “That’s the idea. It’s manic depression, so huge highs and massive lows. The Reiner you see all the time, the guy who’s always laughing like he doesn’t have a care in the world? That’s him at his best. He’s lucky in that he doesn’t have too many lows, compared to some people at least, but when he crashes it’s fucked up.”

“Fuck.” Honestly, Eren was still lost for words. Because this was Reiner, the guy who’d been friendly from the start to him, to Jean and Connie and Sasha and Mikasa. The guy seemed unstoppable, and last night had only reaffirmed the fact. Everyone wanted to _be_ Reiner, to be as good-looking as him, as nice as him, to have as much fun as him.

“Who else knows?”

“Just Annie,” Bertholdt replied. “They spar together, so Reiner told her one time afterwards, when he had to take his medication in front of her. Ymir knows something as well, I think, although I don’t know how much.”

And when he thought about it, Eren had indeed noticed that Ymir seemed to be kinder to Reiner than the rest of them, at least as kind as she could be. Glad to see that the woman did have a heart after all, Eren turned back to his most pressing thought.

“So, last night,” Eren began, carefully, so that Bertholdt knew what he meant. “With the…?”

“Caps?” Bertholdt finished for him and god, the man looked ashen. “Yeah, it wasn’t a great idea. Reiner just gets so caught up in the moment, and when he’s at his peak, he thinks he’s untouchable. I’ve tried stopping him, but he won’t listen to me. And most of the time it doesn’t mess with his medication.”

“But it did last night?”

At that, Bertholdt did look up, his expression hard. “You think I’m an enabler, Eren?” And before he could deny it, the guy’s face crumpled. “I am,” he continued, more quietly. “Reiner gets so excited about getting high, and I’m too scared to bring him down by stopping him. Only reason I took one last night was so that I could drown out the guilt. He’s not the one who fucked up, I am.”

And before Bertholdt could continue, Eren’s hand had shot out to grasp his own. The taller man looked up, startled.

But Eren wasn’t backing down.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, okay? It’s a shitty situation, and you’re doing everything you can. This might sound rough, but if Reiner wants to get high and fuck up his medication, then that’s his choice. If you beat yourself up about it, then you’re not going to be able to support him, which is what he needs more than anything right now, okay?”

Bertholdt didn’t look convinced, but at least was better than before.

“What can I do to help?”

At that, the guy did smile, if sadly. “For now? Just be there for him. You don’t have to today, at least. I’m going to head home and stay with him for the day, try and get him out of bed. If I can’t, we’ll just watch some movies on my computer. Just go home and get some rest, and make sure _your_ come-down isn’t too rough, okay? My memory’s a bit foggy from the club, but I remember someone had a pretty crazy night.”

Fuck, Eren was blushing, despite everything. Because yeah, he’d been a loose cannon last night, acting like a crazy little shit if he’d ever seen one. But he grinned back at Bertholdt, who was clearly getting ready to head back to the apartment.

Eren grabbed his coffee, and as they left the café, Bertholdt grabbed him by the arm.

“Eren?”

When he turned, Eren was surprised to find Bertholdt hugging him. It was so different from just a few hours ago, when he’d been commanding Eren in the bedroom and helping him get off. But it felt right, natural even, and he returned the hug.

Upon separating, Bertholdt’s eyes were misty.

“Thanks. You don’t know how much I needed that.”

Another true smile formed on his lips. “You deserve every inch of it, Bertl. Don’t let yourself ever think you’re doing wrong by him. It’s obvious to all of us that Reiner’s head over heels for you. And if you ever need to talk, or just vent, I’m here.”

They parted a few minutes later, Bertholdt surprising Eren with a chaste kiss on the lips and a promise to fill him on how Reiner fared that day. And despite the bombshell that’d just been dropped, Eren grinned to himself on the way home, because Reiner would be just fine as long as he had Bertholdt with him.

***

**Now.**

“Eren? What’re you doing?”

The words cut through the night air like ice, and even as Eren slowly turned around, he knew from the voice who’d be standing there.

Blood was running down the side of Bertholdt’s head, and he had a hand clamped up on his right ear. But Bertholdt didn’t seem concerned with his injuries, and was instead looking straight at Eren with wide eyes.

“Bertholdt,” Eren breathed, his heart pounding in his chest. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? This is _my_ fucking apartment building, Eren. What’re _you_ doing here?”

“I-” Eren paused, not knowing what to say. Beside him, he could practically sense the tension in Mikasa.

“You’re hurt,” Eren eventually settled on, knowing it sounded dumb and obvious but not really sure what else to respond with.

“Of course I’m hurt,” Bertholdt growled back, uncharacteristically charged. “I just got punched in the head by your _fucking professor_, who’s out there somewhere looking for you.”

Eren didn’t say anything. He didn’t know _what_ to say, apart from that he already knew that.

They were fucked.

“Where’s Reiner,” Bertholdt continued when Eren stayed silent, the taller man’s voice growing more frantic. “Eren, he left me… a really fucked up message. H-he didn’t sound okay.”

Bertholdt’s eyes were pleading, and all at once Eren’s heart broke for the man. He couldn’t tell him what happened, not without damning him, Mikasa and Levi.

“Eren…” Mikasa warned him from where she was standing. Her fingers were twitching.

Shit. He needed to dispel this.

“Bertl,” he began, trying to keep the quiver out of his voice as he lied. “Reiner’s fine. I just put him to bed upstairs, but he doesn’t want anyone near him. Why don’t we-”

“Shut up, you fucking liar!” Bertholdt screamed back. Eren flinched at the raw anger. “I listened to his message, he does not sound fine!”

Suddenly, Bertholdt’s eyes flickered to behind Eren, and he snapped his mouth closed.

When the other man finally spoke again, it was with scary amount of calmness.

“Eren, what did you just put in Connie’s van?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there ya go! The plot's thickened a little, regarding Reiner and Bertholdt at least. They've always been some of my favourite characters (Bertholdt especially, if you couldn't tell), and I've been holding off on writing a lot of them in favour of keeping the flow of the story as natural as possible. Hopefully you guys like this development!
> 
> I should be back next week with the next chapter, provided I can get it finished and edited between the holidays. As always, comments and kudos make my day, and hope to see you next time.


	8. New Advances and Ancient History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the fuck Eren, that guy from the gym was your professor?!”
> 
> Eren flinched at the sound of Jean’s shrill voice as he entered the GSA room, immediately spotting his roommate at one of the tables.
> 
> “It wasn’t a big deal guys. I just asked him to help spot me.”
> 
> “Pfff,” Jean snorted. “You were pretty much trying to deepthroat him from that bench when I looked over. A blind person could’ve seen what you were trying to pull.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, it's new chapter time. I hope everyone had a happy holidays and a merry Christmas (if you celebrate it)!
> 
> This one's a doozy, guys. It took me a lot of time and rewrites before I was relatively happy with the finally product, so please leave feedback and let me know what you think.

**Then. Four Weeks Ago**

“What the fuck Eren, that guy from the gym was your _professor_?!”

Eren flinched at the sound of Jean’s shrill voice as he entered the GSA room, immediately spotting his roommate at one of the tables. He, Connie and Sasha were staring at Eren in surprise, with Connie’s phone on the table between them. And despite the fact that Eren couldn’t see it, he knew that it had a picture of Erwin on the screen.

While he briefly considered just turning and leaving altogether, to avoid the impending conversation, Eren eventually collected himself and strode into the room, sitting down at the table with his friends.

“Hey Eren, how was your day?” Eren sarcastically mocked them, with a good amount of snark.

“Oh don’t be cute with me, Yeager. Not after the shit you’ve being pulling lately.”

Which to be fair, Jean did have a point. The gossip surrounding the night out that weekend had quickly circulated within their group, until everyone had been made aware of Eren’s crazy behaviour at the club, not to mention going home with both Reiner and Bertholdt. The attention had been a bit embarrassing, but Eren had taken it in stride, doing his best to appear aloof to the reactions he got.

Thankfully, Mikasa hadn’t been too mad when she’d found out. His sister had just sighed almost with resignation, before looking Eren straight in the eye.

“Just tell me you’re being safe, Eren.”

And that was one of the many reasons he fucking loved Mikasa. Sure, he _was_ being safe in the bedroom, but he knew that the words themselves had deeper connotations, and that all Mikasa cared about was that he was being careful, looking after himself and making sure he wasn’t being pressured into anything. She wasn’t being overbearing or trying to control him, not like his father or brother tried to.

No, Mikasa recognised that Eren was his own entity. And for that, he was endlessly thankful.

Eren had also spoken to Bertholdt since the Sunday morning, catching up with the other man for coffee briefly the following day. Reiner was doing better, somewhat at least, but thanks to his medical diagnosis had permission to take the week off his studies to look after himself. Bertholdt had been in and out of the university, juggling his own pre-law degree with looking after his best friend.

“If you ever need some time away, I’m more than happy to stay with him for a bit,” Eren had told the Bertholdt the previous day.

“Thanks Eren, I mean it. But I’m fine, and Reiner needs me right now. He told me to tell you that he’s sorry for yesterday, though. He didn’t mean to be rude.”

And of course, Eren didn’t hold it against Reiner. Not when he was clearly struggling with something that Eren couldn’t even begin to comprehend. But as worried as he was for him, as well as Bertholdt’s own health by acting as his caretaker most of the time, Eren respected their privacy to give them their time together.

Which brought him to now, regretting that he’d turned up to the Tuesday evening GSA meeting.

“Can we please get back to the fact that you guys saw Professor Smith in the gym?” Connie blurted incredulously. “I knew that you went to him in office hours, but come on! Why didn’t you tell me?”

With both the boy’s gazes fixed solely on him, Eren was at least grateful that Sasha seemed nonchalant, munching on an apple and watching the conversation unfold with a detached interest.

“It wasn’t a big deal guys. I just asked him to help spot me.”

“Pfff,” Jean snorted. “You were pretty much trying to deepthroat him from that bench when I looked over. A blind person could’ve seen what you were trying to pull.”

Connie, who had turned to face Jean, immediately rounded back on Eren, his eyed wide with excitement. “Oh my god, Eren! You’re a real piece of work!”  
  


“I wasn’t even-”

“I thought _I_ was the thirsty one, but goddamn, you’re actually going for it.”

“How did you even find out?”

“Connie was telling us about his hot professor,” Sasha supplied helpfully, between mouthfuls. “Jean didn’t know what he looked like, so we showed him.”

“Showed him what?”

Oh great. Eren groaned as Marco took the seat next to him, looking around the group in question. Mikasa followed a second later, a quizzical look on her face.

Grinning victoriously, Connie replied. “Oh, just a picture of the world’s hottest professor, who Eren is apparently about to get down on his knees- ow!”

Eren punched Connie harshly on the shoulder, but he just laughed it off. Marco was also smiling, and once again Eren was made grateful by how well he’d taken Eren ending their friends with benefits arrangement.

“Oooh, show me!”

“Fuck off!” Eren interrupted, reaching for the phone, only to have Connie snatch it away at the last second.

Mikasa, who still hadn’t said anything since entering the room, just stared at Eren with a blank expression. And god, the way she did that unnerved him so fucking much, because he was meant to know what she was thinking.

When she did speak, it was with that same blank stare, but Eren could see the slightest of upticks to the corner of her mouth.

“Well come on, show him to me. It’s gotta be an upgrade from that guy at the club, at least.”

Eren groaned, slumping down onto the table as everyone roared with laughter and huddled around the picture once again.

***

Later, after the GSA meeting had run its course and more roles had been assigned for the rapidly approaching fundraiser, Eren paused as he followed his friends out of the room.

“Are you okay?”

Eren brushed off Mikasa’s concern, instead eyeing Levi, who had stayed behind in one of the corner chairs in the room. He’d been as surprised as everyone else when Levi had actually shown up to the meeting, even if he’d quickly shuffled to the back and all but tuned out. And now there he was, headphones in his ears and curled up, reading.

He looked adorable.

He was aware that that was a term many people wouldn’t likely associated with Levi. But Eren couldn’t help but think it, not when he could see Levi delicately chewing his bottom lip, looking tiny in the massive armchair. He was wearing one of his typical dark outfits, but the hoodie was clearly several sizes too big, almost making him look like a kid wearing adult’s clothing. Eren was also distinctly aware that if Levi ever heard him voicing these thoughts, the guy would probably smack him.

“Eren?” Mikasa’s words brought him back to reality, and he turned to see his sister waiting for him. Jean, Connie, Marco and Sasha were walking ahead, but Sasha was already turning around to see what was going on.

Swallowing, Eren glanced back to Levi. “Hey, ah, I’ll meet up with you guys later for dinner, okay? I wanna get a bit of study done here first.”

Mikasa only glanced around in confusion for a second before her eyes settled in on Levi. Understanding washing over her, she turned back to Eren.

“Eren… I think he’d bad news.”

That did surprise Eren, because after Mikasa had been so cool with his recent choices, from Marco to Reiner and Bertholdt, to even taking caps or going after his professor. He hadn’t expected Levi of all people to be the thing that got her concerned.

Although, thinking back to what Levi’s role had been for that weekend, Eren began to understand. “Mikasa, if its because he was the one that brought the drugs-”

“It’s not,” Mikasa cut in, before stopping to take a breath. “Well, the fact that he’s dealing doesn’t really help. I just… don’t like him.”

And… okay. Eren didn’t really know what to say to that.

“What? Since when did you talk to Levi?”

“Back at Historia’s the first time, when you were all over Marco. He’s just- do you really have to go for _him_ as well? He’s such a jerk!”

Eren went to fire back that Levi wasn’t, but stopped himself. Because, to be fair, Levi _was_ a bit of a jerk. But he was harmless, right? Just another grumpy dude that would probably end up getting on Eren’s nerves before long, but for now was just a bit of fun. And he still couldn’t get over the fact that the reason Mikasa didn’t approve of Levi was because she thought he was a jerk.

Honestly, Eren had no idea whether or not Mikasa was fucking with him.

When he stayed silent for longer than he’d intended, Mikasa groaned.

“You’re still going to talk to him, aren’t you.”

“… Yup.”

Thankfully, Mikasa seemed more indignant than genuinely angry as she huffed and childishly crossed her arms over her chest. It was still odd to Eren, to see her being somewhat playful even as she tried to advise him, and he supposed he had Annie, Sasha and everyone else to thank for her beginning to show more emotion.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Eren playfully rolled his eyes at her, and was pleasantly surprised to see a small, if disgruntled, smile on Mikasa’s face as she left him. It filled him with a certain degree of warmness, that Mikasa was doing so well now, after the shit hand life had dealt her.

Still, he’d been so surprised to find out that she was fine with him trying caps, and had barely batted an eyelid when she’d been filled in on Erwin. Although, that was probably due to everyone assuming that Eren had absolutely no chance with the professor.

Compared to those two things, Eren’s crush on Levi was simple.

It didn’t feel like that, though, as Eren sat down across from him a few minutes later. Feeling awkward all over again, he had to actually wave a hand to get Levi’s attention.

Removing his headphones, Levi just stared at him.

“What do you want?”

Well, wasn’t he a charmer? Maybe Mikasa was right.

But Eren just plastered on his best easy-going grin, the one he knew was likely the best part of his (still somewhat lacking) charm. “I just wanted to say thank you for looking after me on the weekend, again. Now that I’m not off my head.”

It sounded lame, and it was. But Levi just shrugged, before surprising Eren by closing the book he’d been reading.

“I’m pretty sure it was Reiner and Bertholdt who were looking after you.”

Whether or not he meant it literally, or was attempting to make a joke, Eren just laughed either way.

“I know. But I meant when I went around the back of the club with that guy,” he clarified. “Probably wasn’t the smartest move on my part, so thanks for helping to come find me. It seemed to put you in a bad mood, so sorry.”

Levi was silent for a few seconds, before nodding. “I knew you’d be fine with him, Eren. I was only pissed off because Shitty Glasses ruined my high by bitching at me to come help look for you.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Eren replied, sheepishly. At that moment, a question he’d being pondering for a few days came back to him, and he coughed. “Do you, uh, do that often?”  
  


Holy shitballs, he was so fucking awkward. Sometimes Eren hated his brain.

But again, Levi either seemed to not notice or just didn’t care. Instead, the man just nodded in response.

“Yes. Does that make you uncomfortable?”

“N-no!” Eren hastily replied, wandering what kind of question that even was. “Saturday night was my first time doing it. Caps, I mean. But I like it. A lot!”

He felt like he was being cross-examined in court, the way Levi was looking at him. Levi was different in that way, to the point where every interaction with him made Eren’s heart skip a little. It was different with Erwin, where everything with that man seemed… premeditated in a way. Levi was composed in an eerily similar manner, but Eren couldn’t put his finger on what it was made him unique.

Whatever it was, Eren loved it.

“Would you do it again?” Levi asked eventually, once again looking at Eren in a way that he couldn’t decipher.

“Yes!” Eren all but shouted, because even though the night with Bertholdt and Reiner had been amazing, he knew that it would’ve also been an amazing time to pursue Levi. Realising that he was coming across as a bit desperate, he cleared his throat. “I mean, I think so. Do you, um, usually have access to it?”

Levi shot him a look that likely said ‘of course, you moron’, while the right side of his mouth curved upwards. “Yes, Eren. I do have access to _it_.”

And fuck, Levi was a sarcastic little shit. Eren liked that. “That’s cool! I mean, well… I wouldn’t mind doing it again, sometime I mean.”

Again, Levi just stared at him, and Eren grinned goofily.

“Do you, maybe… wanna hang out sometime? Not just to do the caps, I mean, but to, well, hang out.”

Had anyone ever been this awkward before?

But before Eren could take back his question, Levi was making a show out of sighing in mock resignation. Still, he nodded, and Eren’s heart soared.

***

Shuffling in his seat, Eren glanced around himself, gauging the room. It was massive, one of the biggest lecture halls on the university campus, and was currently filling up with people, most of whom were years older than Eren himself. Most historians weren’t young, it seemed.

Still, he found himself a little nervous, with Erwin right next to him.

When Eren had accepted the invitation as Erwin’s guest, he’d assumed that he’d be sitting with the older man. What he hadn’t predicted was _how _close they’d be, with him touching Erwin’s broad shoulders as the man relaxed into his seat beside him. They were in the second to front row, mostly due to the fact that Erwin had a speech early on in the conference. And apart from his interest in the subject he was doing, Eren didn’t know a whole lot about the study of history, and historians in general, so this was all alien to him.

Was it normal for a university professor to invite their students to be their plus one at a conference? Eren was hoping that it wasn’t, and that he was special.

That Erwin wanted him there for more than just to satisfy his mind.

In all actuality, the symposium itself was shorter than Eren had thought it’d be. There were several speakers, of course, but most of them were academics either plugging their own work or trying to disprove others. It reminded Eren a fair bit of the scientific research field, one he’d been contemplating as a career choice, where researchers would fight tooth and nail to gain funding for their projects, and then brag about their findings to their other, less fortunate peers.

Erwin’s speech, however, had been brilliant.

Eren had known that it would be, having heard the man talk all semester to a large audience. But whereas most of the old, stodgy professors had droned on for their few allotted minutes, making Eren glad for the time constraints, he could’ve listened to Erwin for hours. He was a true professional, clearly showing his passion for what he was presenting, while at the same time making it interesting for the audience. It was why he’d been so successful as a university lecture, and also partly why Eren had been so drawn to him.

He knew that, if Erwin had asked him, he’d follow the man into battle any day.

The only other notable speaker that evening had been Darius Zackly, an academic from the same university Armin studied at in Orvud. Like Erwin, he’d been a gifted speaker, and had focused on new findings surrounding the founding of areas like Shiganshina. It’d been intriguing, to say the least, and Eren had been glad to get something else out of the night apart from just hearing Erwin talk.

There was a dinner after the conference itself, which Eren had gathered was the true event of importance. It gave the academics a time to schmooze and network, and while he wasn’t particularly concerned in that area, it’d been interesting to see Erwin talk to others. Erwin had been polite, making sure to introduce Eren to all the historians he spoke to, even if Eren then spent the majority of the conversation idly listening in while sipping champagne.

The pivotal moment of the night arrived sooner than Eren had expected, when none other than Nile Dok had approached them.

“Erwin,” the man sneered, which was quickly becoming his default expression. “As always, it’s a pleasure. Although I wasn’t aware you were to have company tonight.”

Dok’s words _dripped_ with condescension, and clearly Erwin sensed that, as he winced. “Nile, I’m sure you remember Eren here. He’s quite a bright-minded student of mine. Eren, meet Nile Dok.”

“That’s _Professor_ Dok,” Nile Dok reminded him. “Erwin, I wanted to congratulate on your presentation. For someone more focussed towards herding students, I must say it was rather… quaint to hear your thoughts on the Great Marley War.”

It was a backhanded compliment if Eren had ever heard one, but Erwin kept a tight-lipped smile on his face as responded. “Thank you, Nile. Your presentation was also enlightening.”

And now that was a straight out lie. Dok’s brief presentation, if it could be called that, had been one of the duller moments of the night. Rather than being given a featured slot in the proceedings, Dok had been relegated to a shorter timeslot, getting up to talk just after the tea and coffee break mid-way through the symposium. It was obvious that the man was still irritated about the fact, and he seemed to be taking it out on Erwin.

“Eren,” Dok said all of a sudden, turning to him. “This must be all quite overwhelming for a student such as yourself, tangling with the world of higher academia. I’m sure that Professor Smith has told you, but do not feel pressured to stay any longer than is required. A young man such as yourself surely has somewhere to be on a Friday evening, with contemporaries more to your… level.”

Erwin stiffened beside him, and Eren narrowed his eyes.

He hated him.

“Nile, I’ve told Eren-”

“Actually, _Professor_,” Eren interrupted, cutting off Erwin and looking Dok dead in the eyes. “I’ve had an amazing night so far, and have been enjoying getting to hear the perspectives of some of the great minds here. The speeches were fantastic, although they ebbed a bit in the middle towards the break. But at least the coffee was good, to keep me from getting too _overwhelmed_.”

Eren practically spat out the last few words, and when he finished, shut his mouth with a loud click of his jaw. It was silent for a few moments, as Dok stared down at him with wide eyes and deep frown. Erwin was also silent, and Eren didn’t dare to look in his direction.

“My apologies, young man,” Dok finally uttered, even if he clearly didn’t mean it. “I’m sure I will see you around. Erwin,” he nodded in acknowledgement, before disappearing into the crowd of academics without another glance.

Shit. Eren had clearly pissed him off.

When Eren finally had the guts to look at Erwin, he was relieved to see that the older man was trying to suppress a smile.

“Sorry, was that too much?”

“On the contrary, Eren,” Erwin immediately rebutted, his face calmed but a delighted twinkle betraying his eyes. “I’ve been rather pleased with the night. Though I am getting rather weary, how about I see you home?”

As Erwin made the rounds, saying farewell to his colleagues, Eren snuck over to the nearest waiter, draining one final flute of champagne on his way out. The look in Erwin’s eyes had his heart beating faster, nerves fluttering through his limbs. Eren had taken a gamble, by speaking his mind to Dok, but Erwin was clearly pleased with him, and judging by that last look, was seeing him at least a little differently.

Outside, Eren followed Erwin through the campus, distantly aware that they were headed towards his building, but not really noticing the details. Because all of a sudden, Erwin was talking again.

“I have to apologise for Nile’s words towards you, Eren.” When Eren went to brush it off, Erwin turned to him with a sharp look. “I’m serious. The two of us have had a strained relationship for some time, which has only been added to now that we are both competing for tenure within the same department.”

And that… actually made a lot of sense. Eren thought back to the two interactions he’d had with the man, both of which Erwin had been there for. Dok had been forcibly polite, but clearly didn’t think much of Erwin himself. And judging by each of their respective presentations that night, it was clear that Erwin was probably the preferred candidate for the position. If anything, Dok’s comments towards both Eren and Erwin had most likely been fuelled by him feeling threatened.

“I know that is not a sound reason for his behaviour tonight,” Erwin was continuing, “but I’ve known Nile for several years now. I wouldn’t worry about him any further, he’s likely already put the conversation from his mind.”

That, Eren knew was a lie. For his expense, though, so he couldn’t begrudge Erwin. Still, there was another question that he was burning to ask.

So, Eren steeled his courage and spoke up. “If you don’t mind me asking, what was it that stopped the two of you from getting along in the first place?”

Erwin was silent for so long that Eren thought he’d crossed a line. Around them, the night air was silent, save for a few crickets chirping somewhere far off. However, just when Eren was about to speak up again, to apologise, Erwin finally replied.

“… Nile and I… were involved romantically, at one point. I had already taken on a teaching role at the university, and Nile joined the department just prior to our splitting up.”

Oh.

Eren was distinctly aware that no normal student-teacher relationship would permit this topic of conversation.

“Okay,” Eren replied, not really knowing what to say. His thoughts were screaming in triumph, however, because fucking hell yes, he’d been right in thinking that Erwin was into men.

Despite that, the silence was unbearable for the last few minutes walking back to Eren’s building. Eren knew that he should say something, clearly, but whenever he tried to talk, his brain went straight to mush. What the hell was he meant to say to that, when his professor told him that he had dated another man? Had Erwin said it as indication that he wanted something similar from Eren? Or was he just overthinking it, as he always did?

By the time they made it to the front of Eren’s building, he was about to explode.

It was now or never.

“Eren,” Erwin began, the tone of his voice back to lecturer-mode. “I hope you enjoyed the experience of-”

Eren shut him up by stepping right into Erwin’s personal space and planting a firm but fast kiss on the man’s lips.

And he could feel the exact moment Erwin breathed in in surprise, his prior words dying on his lips. Eyes closed, Eren savoured the feel of Erwin against him, not deepening the kiss at all and instead going for just a chaste brush. Erwin’s lips were warm, despite the chilly night air, and Eren couldn’t help but moan, all the while feeling his heart in his throat.

Oh my god, Erwin wasn’t pulling away.

But he wasn’t kissing back either, so when Eren eventually pulled back, quite a few seconds later, he was just as anxious as ever. Even in the darkness, he could make out Erwin’s stunned expression, his eyes wide and mouth still frozen.

Silently, Eren waited on bated breath. He’d done all he could to garner Erwin’s favour, to try and read his mood. He’d made his move and now it was up to Erwin.

When Erwin did speak, the deep tone shook right through Eren.

“Would you like to accompany me to my house for a drink?”

***

Fuck.

This. Was. Happening.

But not in the way he’d envisioned.

Throughout the walk back from Eren’s building to Erwin’s car, and then the following twenty-minute ride to the man’s house, Eren’s mind had thought over every single way the night could play out. From Erwin taking him roughly against his front door, to more romantically making love to him in bed. And already, he knew that whatever Erwin wanted from him, Eren would be all in.

What he hadn’t expected, was for Erwin to actually start pouring literal fucking drinks for them.

Because what invitation to come in for drinks actually involved that, rather than being a poorly veiled excuse to fuck?  
  


Back when Eren had thought that that was going to happen, he’d felt in control. He’d made the move on Erwin, and had been leading the way. Even when Erwin had invited him back, it’d been because Eren had brought him to a place where he wanted to.

But as Erwin stared at him from across his magnificent island bench, Eren didn’t feel in control.

It both excited and terrified him.

Eren could describe Erwin a lot of ways, but until now he’d never thought of the man as disarming. Because that’s what he was right now. Even just his eyes, before which had been filled with a composed kindness, were now stunningly pure, cutting right through Eren in a way he hadn’t been prepared for. Honestly, it scared him, just how intense Erwin was, in a way Eren hadn’t anticipated.

When Erwin handed Eren the glass of scotch, he finally spoke.

“You intrigue me, Eren,” he uttered and god, even his voice was different now, so much more throaty, deep and intimidating. “Ever since I helped you with your bags, you’ve been a subject of thought for me. You don’t think like other people do, and I believe that is what’s drawn me to you more than anything.”

Well, at least Erwin wasn’t denying that they’d never had a normal student-teacher relationship.

“However,” Erwin continued, “I also won’t deny that… I’m attracted to you. As I’m sure you’ve come to be aware of. I must tell you, that if this new level in our working relationship is to progress, then I want it to be with your express permission. I know you may think that you are ready for this, for me.”

“I am,” Eren cut in, needing Erwin to know.

Erwin continued as if he hadn’t spoken, and his next words rocked Eren to the core. “Know this, Eren. Whatever you’re thinking will come from tonight, it will be more complicated than you can imagine. Our interactions will be forever tainted, the two of us sworn to a level of secrecy that could very well destroy our lives.”

“… That’s not a no, right? I don’t care about all that, I’m ready for this.” was what Eren responded with, because Erwin wasn’t rejecting him.

Still, Erwin looked concerned. “That is not the only matter of issue, Eren. I’m… also not a gentle lover. This situation is unorthodox, I know, but I cannot deny my attraction to you. As I’ve said, you intrigue me, but I’m afraid you won’t be ready for the level if intimacy I require from you.”

Eren almost felt like he’d been punched, to hear those words. That Erwin doubted him, after all this time. God, Eren was ready for it, whatever Erwin wanted, however he wanted to treat him, Eren would take it and more.

He’d just have to show Erwin, then.

“I’m not some wide-eyed kid, Erwin. I don’t want it gentle,” was what he replied with in the end, and was pleased to see Erwin raise an eyebrow in surprise. Even the way he’d been able to manipulate the conversation, into a way where he held the power, was intoxicating, and Eren wanted to see more. “I’ve wanted you since the day I met you, and I’m not turning back now, _sir_.”

That last word had the desired effect, a second later Eren was abandoning his glass of scotch in favour of moving around the island bench. Erwin bent down to him with a bruising kiss, teeth biting hard into the flesh of his lower lip. God, this was amazing, and through all his fantasies, Eren hadn’t predicted that Erwin would be _this_ rough. This dangerous.

By the time he pulled back, Eren was gasping, and knew that he must look dishevelled, even in the hired suit he’d worn to the symposium. A second later, Eren was kissing down Erwin’s neck, before unceremoniously dropping to his knees in the middle of the man’s kitchen.

“Eren,” Erwin spoke up sharply, all of a sudden. Jolting Eren out of his haze, the Erwin continued. “While I may desire matters to escalate with you in the future, tonight is not the night for that. I want you to think over what I’ve told you, before coming to me with a better-informed decision.”

Nup. Fuck no. Eren wasn’t having any of that, not after everything that’d happened that night.

“I’ll make it worthwhile, Eren. Please,” he all but begged, knowing he was coming off as desperate. Eren was raging hard, and could feel Erwin just as aroused. Because even as he was eyeing Erwin, Eren was running a hand over the man’s crotch and holy shit, he was big.

Even now, Eren could easily tell that he was bigger than Bertholdt.

But Eren was jolted out of his thoughts when Erwin came to stroke a hand over his cheek.

“Stand up, Eren.”

Fuck.

And now Eren was burning red with embarrassment, because _that_ was a rejection. Eyes locked to the ground, he stumbled back up to his feet, silently cursing himself. Erwin didn’t want some slutty kid begging for his cock. The reason he liked Eren in the first place was because he thought he was more than that, someone that thought differently. And Eren had had to go and ruin that by being himself, just when he was so close.

“Sorry, Erwin, I-”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” That made Eren look up, and when he did, Erwin was smiling kindly down at him. But he could also see the heat in those eyes, the same lust that had all but driven him to his knees seconds earlier.

All of a sudden, Erwin chuckled, before wiping his own hand tiredly across his face. “You have _no_ idea how hard that was for me, just then. Truly, I wanted you to continue what you were doing more than anything. Ever since that day in the gym, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your mouth.”

Eren blushed, grinning despite himself, because he’d _known_ that Erwin had been affected by that day too. “Then why did you stop me?”

“Because I want to do this _right_,” Erwin replied. “I’ve had my fair share of no strings attached arrangements, and I don’t want this to be that again. I also meant it when I said I wasn’t gentle in the bedroom, and I really do want you to think over what that would mean of you.”

“O-okay,” Eren eventually acquiesced, knowing it was for the best, even if his cock was in rampant disagreement. A thought then came to him, and Eren wasn’t able to hold back his delirious laughter.

When Erwin cocked an eyebrow in confusion, Eren tried to answer from behind his snickering.

“After feeling, um, well… you know,” he tried, waving his hand in the general direction of Erwin’s waist. “It’s probably for the best that I get… p-prepared.”

And even if he was feeling awkward saying that, it was worth it to see Erwin blushing as well, his carefully constructed composure shattered for once in his own embarrassment.

***

As Eren closed the door to his dorm behind him, he winced when it squeaked loudly. It was late, later than he’d been expecting to be back by, and although strictly speaking no one was going to discipline him, Eren really couldn’t be fucked talking to Jean. Eyes not accustomed to the dark, he couldn’t make out if Jean was asleep, but still tip-toed across the floor to his bunk.

After the moment of heat between them, and then Erwin’s dispelling of said moment, the conversation had gone back to the usual level of familiarity. They’d both laughed as they’d relived the look on Nile Dok’s face when Eren had ripped him a new one, and Eren had been sure to compliment Erwin again for his own amazing speech.

“You’ll get tenure for sure, you know,” Eren had cheered as they’d reclined on the couch, simply enjoying the level of intimacy he could now have with the man.

Because while Erwin had turned own Eren’s advanced that night, he’d welcomed the new contact between them, especially as they’d chatted and finished their drinks. They hadn’t cuddled or anything, it was probably too soon for that, but Eren had braved reaching over a couple of times, whether to stroke Erwin’s shoulder comfortingly or to pat his thigh.

Erwin didn’t kiss him again until it was time for Eren to leave, the two of them having stayed talking until well past midnight. He’d pressed Eren against the front door, kissing him not quite as rough as earlier in the kitchen, but still long and deep, his tongue just licking over Eren’s lips but staying shy of his mouth. He’d then told Eren to come to his offices after class next week, leaving him with that stupid fluttery feeling in his stomach as he’d left the man’s home.

He knew what he was doing was silly, but still. It was Erwin Smith.

It was only just as Eren had thought he’d gotten away with sneaking in that Jean’s light had flicked on, the man in question staring at his with a half-asleep gaze.

“Eren?” Jean croaked, clearly just having woken up, “what time is it?”

“Late, go back to bed,” Eren hissed quietly, annoyed that he hadn’t been more subtle.

But if anything, Jean was just waking up more. “I thought you said you were going to a conference with your hunky history professor. Why are you just getting back at… 1am?” He asked, just having checked his phone.

“I went out for drinks afterward.”

“With _Professor Smith?_”

“No, with a friend I ran into. What are you, my mother?” Eren shot back defensively, cheeks flushed. He should just come clean. Jean wasn’t his mother, or anyone who had any ruling in Eren’s life. But he could just picture the disapproval in the other man’s eyes, the way he’d try to talk Eren out of the situation he’d gotten himself into with Erwin.

And even beyond that, Eren was worried that he _would_ be talked out of it.

Because even on the way home from Erwin’s apartment, Eren was now grateful that Erwin had made him wait. Once the high of _getting to kiss Erwin_ had worn off, Eren had been left thinking about what it would mean if he did go through with this. Not just in terms of sex, in which Eren would clearly be out of his comfort zone, not only bottoming, but clearly not being the one in control. But also in terms of his actual life, being forced to sneak around to see Erwin, always knowing that they could never be open about their relationship.

By telling Jean now, Eren would be betraying Erwin, not even a few hours after promising him that he could deal with it.

And Eren didn’t even know where they stood right now. Did Erwin intend for them to date, like _date date_? Because if so, Eren would have to make some decisions, weighing Erwin against Levi and Jean and even Reiner and Bertholdt.

Before tonight, Erwin had just been his unobtainable professor, even if they’d always had a friendlier rapport than usual. He’d been kind, if withdrawn, with a sense of mystery that had drawn Eren to him. But what Erwin wanted from him would be outside his comfort zone to say the least. He was used to having control, even if only a semblance of it at times. After an upbringing of others making decisions for him, it’d been so freeing to be himself, be free to make his own choices.

This was still a choice he’d make, the other, more irresponsible side of his conscious reminded him.

Jean wasn’t looking like he believed him, and while Eren felt guilty for breaking the guy’s trust, he stayed silent.

“Whatever. G’night.”

After that, Jean didn’t say anything else before turning off the light again, and definitely didn’t invite Eren over for a late-night wank like they usually did. Not that Eren would’ve been up for it. He felt drained, and as he pulled on a new pair of boxers for bed, he ignored the weight of guilt pressing down on him.

***

**Now.**

“Eren!”

Shit. Eren jerked at the wheel, swerving Connie’s mini-van back onto the correct side of the road as Mikasa shook him back into reality.

“Shit,” he swore, his heart thumping. It was lucky that the road was empty, because he could’ve killed someone (and yes, Eren did see the irony in that statement, especially considering what was rolling around in the back of the van).

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologised, feeling Mikasa’s eyes burning into his head.

“Do you want me to take the wheel?” Mikasa asked after a moment. “I know you’re a better driver than me, but-”

“I’m fine! I just… got distracted. Thinking about Bertholdt.”

“… We had to do it, Eren. You know that, right?”

He did. God, he knew that they’d had to, but it still made him sick to his stomach to think about it. Because in all of this, with everything that was fucked up between him and Levi and Erwin and Reiner and everyone else, Bertholdt had been innocent.

“We just ruined his life, ‘Kasa,” Eren groaned a few minutes later, after he’d turned onto the main road.

They’d passed Trost Uni a few miles ago, the both of their hearts thumping as they’d driven past their unsuspecting friends.  
  
Mikasa was silent initially, and it was only as Eren continued to drive, his eyes locked on the road, that she finally spoke up.

“Pull over.”

Sighing, Eren knew better than to argue with her. He waited until they came to a quiet and relatively deserted side-street, and turned the off the highway to park. Swallowing thickly, he stayed silent until he’d brought the van to a complete halt.

“Look at me.”

Eren did just that.

And god, Mikasa looked just as shattered as he probably did, and all at once Eren felt like shit for assuming she’d been okay with what they’d done.

“I hate myself just as much for that, Eren,” Mikasa eventually said, her usually resolute voice now shaky. “Bertholdt… didn’t deserve that, but I stand by it, because at the end of the day it was him or us. And I pick us _every time_.”

  
“I know.” Mikasa’s hand came up to his cheek, and Eren leant into the touch, comforted by the familiarity of it. “I just-” he paused, choking on his words. “We were doing so well.”

“We were,” Mikasa whispered back in agreement.

And Eren knew something still hadn’t clicked for him, because if it had he’d be heartbroken at what he’d done tonight, not just with Bertholdt but with the fact that he’d _just killed someone_.

Then again, he’d known for ages that something was fucked up with him, preferring to ignore it than to deal with it.

The hand on his cheek moved to his chin, and Eren let Mikasa bring his eyes back up to hers.

“We’re going to be okay,” she stated strongly, her words instantly steeling something in Eren. “We’re going to be okay, Eren. We just need to get out of the city, so that we can dump the body. Then we just act normal, go back to the fundraiser. Tomorrow, you go to your disciplinary hearing and we get away with this, you hear me?”

Fuck. Eren hadn’t even thought about tomorrow. How could he even think about facing the board in the state he was in?

Still, Eren knew they wouldn’t be able to get away with this by themselves, not even with Levi’s help. God, even if Mikasa had only been joking about him, she’d been so goddamn right.

Right now, Eren needed more than Levi. He needed family.

So, he swallowed, and tried to look sheepish as he spoke to Mikasa.

“… Is now a good time to tell you that Armin knows about everything up until tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. Eren and Erwin have hit to off!
> 
> As always, the comments and kudos meant the world to me, so please give me any feedback, good or bad!
> 
> I should be good to have the next chapter ready by next week, but I'm beginning to catch up to myself in terms of publishing vs writing. See ya (hopefully) next week!


	9. The Ease of Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just see the value in making sure I pay for something worthwhile.”
> 
> “I dunno, I could buy about ten day’s worth of actual coffee with the money you spent on your triple, half-sweet, non-fat caramel-”
> 
> “That’s because you drink dirt water.”
> 
> That made Eren shut up, because Erwin had just bantered back.
> 
> “… You’re cranky before you get your morning macchiato, aren’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy, time for another chapter! This one took a while to write for some reason, guess it's because the plot seeds are starting to grow and I have to make sure everything's still connecting. I'm not completely satisfied with how it turned out, but I guess that's just the perfectionist in me. Hopefully you guys still like it!
> 
> The typical warnings apply for this chapter, but I will add that there's continued drug use (from a few chapters ago) as well as further discussion of mental health. Nothing too serious, but wanted to put it here.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Then. Three and a Half Weeks Ago**

“Holy shit! I didn’t take you for a coffee snob!”

From across the small table, Erwin did his best to look nonchalant at Eren’s words, but Eren could see him grumbling as he blew on his steaming, and ridiculously complex, coffee. Still, Eren could see amusement in his eyes, no doubt mirrored in his own, as he grinned and took a sip of his own drink, which in comparison seemed like Instant Coffee.

“I wouldn’t go that far, Eren,” Erwin protested, but there was a smile on his face. “I just see the value in making sure I pay for something worthwhile.”

“I dunno, I could buy about ten day’s worth of _actual_ coffee with the money you spent on your triple, half-sweet, non-fat caramel-”

“That’s because you drink _dirt_ water.”

That made Eren shut up, because Erwin had just _bantered back_.

“… You’re cranky before you get your morning macchiato, aren’t you?”

Erwin laughed, true and loudly, and Eren’s heart soared. It was these moments, the interactions like this, that he craved. Because ever since that fateful night at Erwin’s apartment, Eren had been able to see another side to the man that he’d never thought existed.

And honestly, he kinda loved that side of Erwin.

Eren caught himself then, because maybe that was going a bit far. No, whatever he felt for Erwin wasn’t quite love, not yet. Infatuation though, for sure, and that had only grown over the past few days, since that Friday night.

Because even though Erwin had told Eren to come to his office on the Monday, Eren had ended up going to dinner with him on Saturday night. And then Sunday night.

Neither had been a massive affair, the two of them choosing practical over romantic for while they were in Trost where they could be recognised. Both times had been somewhere non-descript and relatively basic. But Eren hadn’t really cared about the greasy burger Erwin had bought him, not when he was really there to just spend time with him.

One of the important topics that Erwin had ended up bringing up on the Saturday night was the exclusivity of their relationship, and one that Eren had been surprised to hear his point of view on.

“Until we’ve explored this further between us, I have no problem with you wanting to be with other people, Eren.”

“Wait, what?” Eren had all but blurted out in reply. “D-do you really mean that?”

Again, Erwin had just nodded. “I don’t want you to feel pressured or forced into this. I know that, compared to many others, I won’t be able to offer you the same degree of… freedom. All I ask is that you’re honest with me about your feelings, and won’t hide it if you have second thoughts.”

It’d almost seemed too good to be true, although after thinking about it, Eren supposed that many potential relationships started that way, with both ends testing the waters for a period of time, before committing full-on.

By the Sunday night, that notion had brought up another question, and after finishing their food, Eren had felt brave enough to ask it.

“Are you… seeing anyone else as well? It’s okay if you are!” Eren had hurriedly added when Erwin had looked at him in surprise. “I’m just curious.”

Eren hadn’t known what he’d been expecting, but Erwin had shrugged nonetheless. “I’m not seeing anyone else at the moment, no. I do have an existing… arrangement with someone, however. I haven’t seen them for a few weeks now though, and I imagine I won’t going forward.”

“… It’s not Professor Dok again, is it?”

That had made Erwin laugh, and they’d settled back into their easy banter, no more talk on other relationships coming after that.

Still, Eren hadn’t kissed Erwin since the Friday night.

It was now Tuesday morning, marking the fifth day in a row he’d seen Erwin, including going to his office after the Monday lecture. But this was the first time he’d seen Erwin in the morning, where he still had bleary eyes and slightly tousled hair. It was adorable, and Eren was beyond tempted to lean across and ruffle Erwin’s hair even further, because he’d clearly been too tired this morning to style it properly.

They’d decided to meet at one of the several coffee shops on campus, given that it wasn’t out of the ordinary at all for a lecturer to meet with a student in that regard. Indeed, Eren’s paper on Shiganshina was laid in front of him, giving the impression to any onlooker that they were discussing his work before an early morning class. And Eren did want Erwin to look over it, if only for a little while, because he was almost finished and wanted Erwin to see something he was so proud of.

Still, Eren couldn’t help the nervous jitters that ran through him as two girls his age walked past, not glancing their way in the slightest. God, if only they knew that they’d just come across a student on a date with his _professor_.

And yeah, there was still a chance that Eren was caught up in that aspect of their relationship.

“Sometimes I wonder why I agreed to running lectures this early in the morning,” Erwin was grumbling, and Eren couldn’t believe that he’d never even gotten a hint of this side of him before.

“Are you like this for our Monday lectures as well?”

Erwin just levelled him with a look, making Eren scoff. Clearly, Erwin was a master of putting up a façade that no one could see through, because he’d always seemed so put together every time, even when Eren himself had wanted to die from arriving to the lectures hungover.

“What have you got on after that?” Eren asked, a bit later.

“Just more classes,” Erwin replied, taking another sip of his snobby abomination. “I’m meeting Dean Reiss over lunch, though, so at least that gives me reason to not run home to bed.”

“Oh cool,” Eren answered. “I’m friends with his daughter, Historia.”

At that, Erwin did raise an eyebrow. “I’ve met her once, at a university dinner. She seems like a very nice young girl.”

They continued to chat away, until Eren finally garnered the courage to ask what he’d been wanting to ask all morning.

“So,” he brought up, almost 30 minutes into their coffee date. “I was thinking we could go out for dinner this Friday. Somewhere nice, though… maybe get a drink after?”

To Eren’s surprise, however, Erwin didn’t agree straight away, and doubt seeped through him once again. But before he could take back his offer, or embarrass himself in some other way, Erwin was speaking up.

“I’m afraid I’ll be travelling this weekend, Eren. I’m going home to visit my father.”

Honestly, that was better than the rejection Eren had been worried about. Because while it was still a no, it was for the right reason, and Eren let out a sigh of relief.

“N-no worries at all. I didn’t realise that you weren’t from Trost.”

“Quite. I’m from Karanes, which isn’t too far from Trost. It was still quite the decision to come teach here, however. My father is getting older, so I travel home to check in on him regularly.”

“That’s… really good of you, Erwin.”

“But I was meaning to ask you,” Erwin continued, moving the topic away from his father. “By the following weekend, you’ll have handed in your paper. I was hoping, that if you weren’t too busy studying for exams, that you would like to accompany me to a property I own down on the coast.”

And Eren tried not to let his eagerness show too much, even as he was already nodding his head and agreeing quickly. Because that sounded amazing, and he was already getting excited, just thinking about how he and Erwin would have an entire house to themselves.

“I thought you’d be excited,” Erwin said with a knowing grin.

Eren didn’t even bother to hide his own smile, shamelessly beaming back. “Can’t wait! Still, I’m going to miss you this weekend.”

“Trust me, Eren. You’ll be having more fun than I will. Go out with your friends, have a good time, and I’ll be back next week.”

The “get with a guy” went unsaid between them, but Eren could tell Erwin was trying to let him know that it was okay if he did.

God, that man was perfect.

“Now,” Erwin said, all of a sudden, “about your paper…”

***

The next day, when Hanji bounded to the front of the GSA room to start the Tuesday evening meeting, Eren could tell that something was up.

“Good news everyone,” she shouted from the makeshift speaking platform, which really was just a small wooden box to stand on.

Eren was sitting with Mikasa, as well as Connie and Sasha. Fortunately, Connie hadn’t thought anything of Eren ditching him the previous day, more than used to Eren seeing Erwin during office hours. Which, now that Eren thought about it, showed that it was just false paranoia on his part, the fear that somehow, everyone would be able to tell right away that he was romantically involved with his professor.

Eren still couldn’t help thinking back to that morning, and the amazing time he’d had with Erwin over coffee. The man had been as confident as ever, not faltering in the slightest as he’d asked Eren to his beach house with him. And while a part of Eren had to wonder if Erwin had ever been involved with a student before him, he also was glad that at least one of them seemed to know what they were doing.

Jean was there as well, but had chosen to sit with Historia, Ymir and Marco. It was nothing out of the ordinary, so much so that no one seemed to bat an eye, but Eren could tell that Jean was still a little annoyed with him. It was stupid, so fucking stupid that Jean was holding a grudge, all because he’d been shifty about his time with Erwin. He wasn’t ignoring Eren altogether, and they’d had multiple conversations over the weekend, but Eren could tell there was tension there, at least from Jean’s end.

But if Jean wanted to be a stubborn prick, then Eren wasn’t going to stop him, and he certainly wasn’t going to apologise.

And yeah, Eren could see that that was now _him_ being the stubborn one, and remembered how Mikasa had commented on how similar they were.

“Thanks to some expert negotiations on our part,” Hanji was saying from the front of the room, “the board has decided to give us the full go-ahead for hosting the fundraiser on campus this year, along with serving drinks until later in the night!”

To say Eren was surprised by that reveal was an understatement. Because even as the others around him clapped at the victory over Fritz and the board, Eren thought about how seemingly unmanageable a task it’d been in the first place. Hanji had described the situation to him earlier as near impossible to get the go-ahead for, to the point where she’d even asked everyone to start brainstorming different locations to host the event at.

Having the fundraiser off campus would’ve been a massive blow to how much they’d be able to raise, but with the so-called pipedream now a reality, those problems were over.

“That means we can get absolutely hammered!” Connie cheered beside him.

But Mikasa also looked deep in thought, and when Eren glanced at her, she returned his questioning gaze.

It all seemed a little too easy.

Later, as the formalities of the meeting finished, Mikasa approached him privately.

“Is everything okay between you and Jean?”

God, she had always been so perceptive. Eren glanced Jean’s way, to where the man was talking with Marco. Despite the annoyance he was feeling towards his obstinate horse of a roommate, Eren couldn’t help but be a little glad that the two of them had seemed to form a friendship of sorts. Because Eren had ended things between him and Marco so that Jean wouldn’t get too jealous, and it was becoming clearer with every passing day that the idiot was crushing heavily on Marco.

“Yeah,” he sighed back to his sister, but didn’t bother to hide his displeasure. “Just roommate stuff, y’know?”

Mikasa looked doubtful, but nodded. He knew that she was still having trouble with her roommate, Mina, and much preferred him, Annie and many others for day-to-day company.

“It’s good that Armin’s almost done with his exams,” Mikasa mentioned later, as she began packing up her things to leave. Eren had decided to hang around a bit, mostly because he was bored and didn’t have anything to do that night, unlike Mikasa who was going to the gym with Annie.

“I know, this week’s the last ones for him right?” Eren replied. It’d been too long since he’d last spoken to Armin, and he felt guilty for it. Mikasa probably kept in touch more than him at the moment, but Eren had been pretty busy as of late.

“Yeah. You should call him this weekend. He misses you.”

And that just made him feel even worse.

But Mikasa was quick to tell him that Armin wasn’t upset or angry, making him feel a bit better. And they’d hung out for a while afterward, lifting Eren’s mood to the point that after Mikasa had left the GSA room, Eren happily returned Reiner’s enthusiastic hug when he and Bertholdt arrived late.

“We were just talking about you,” Bertholdt said afterwards, when Eren moved on to hug him in greeting. Eren had seen Bertholdt since their night together, but this was the first time he’d seen Reiner after his week off. And it was evident that he was back to his usual, happy self, judging by the way Reiner was circling the room and saying hello to everyone in a very similar way to how he’d greeted Eren.

“What about?” Eren asked back, joining Bertholdt in staring fondly at Reiner’s infectious mood.

He turned back to Bertholdt, however, when the man replied. “Nothing serious, don’t worry. I’m working tonight and apparently Reiner can’t be bothered going to the gym, so he wanted to see if you were around to study with him.”

Bertholdt made no attempt to hide the thinly veiled request, and once again Eren was left stumped as to how their friendship/relationship actually worked. And he was about to decline, he honestly was, but then he thought about what Erwin had said, and how he was already in danger of falling hard for the man.

Maybe what he needed was some time not thinking about Erwin.

So, by the time Reiner made his way back to them, Eren was already brimming with excitement.

“So,” Reiner grinned broadly at him. “You in?”

***

“Mmmm. Fuck, Eren. Just like that baby.”

Underneath Eren, Reiner’s moans sounded delicious, and Eren couldn’t resist leaning in to capture his lips in yet another kiss. Reiner’s lips were plump and bright red against his own, no doubt due to the near endless tonguing they’d been engaged in. Eren was clutching Reiner’s pecs like they were tits, massaging them and pinching the nipples as he sat on Reiner’s lap.

To be fair, Eren and Reiner had actually studied for a bit. Sure, they could’ve applied themselves for a bit longer, maybe, but Eren was still calling it a win.

Most of their clothes were strewn on the floor of Reiner and Bertholdt’s joint bedroom, with the two of them only wearing their underwear. Still, Eren was pretty sure that they wouldn’t last much longer either, and as he felt Reiner’s dick press against his through the layers of cotton, he reached down to palm them both.

There’d been no discussion of what Bertholdt had told him, about Reiner being bipolar. Sure, Eren was positive that Reiner knew that he knew, but he reckoned it was something that was better left aside. If the moment ever arose, then Eren would be there to talk about it with him. But right now? He could tell that Reiner didn’t want support, or a heart-to-heart.

Reiner wanted a fuck.

Eren’s assumption was proven right when they separated a few moments later. Reiner flipped them over, so that he was on top of Eren, and then they were both awkwardly shuffling to remove their last remaining garments. Now totally naked, Reiner wasted no time in straddling Eren, so that he could wrap a hand around both their cocks. Leaning down, Reiner kissed Eren deeply, their teeth gnashing against one another and a string of saliva connecting them. Remembering what Reiner had been like last time with Bertholdt, Eren opened his mouth and let Reiner spit on his tongue, before they were kissing again and grinding on one another.

When Reiner finally pulled back, he looked ravishingly hot. “Want you to fuck me, baby.”

Eren nodded furiously, not caring how desperate he looked. The only thing more perfect than Reiner’s incredible muscles was how much of a bottom he was, and Eren lived for the man breaking all sorts of stereotypes regarding body types and positions. And just the thought of getting to be inside Reiner again, like that amazing night they’d had with Bertholdt last week, had Eren reeling and whining when Reiner rolled his hips again.

Clearly not afraid to go for what he wanted, Reiner shifted their positions slightly, so that now instead of their dicks rubbing together, Eren’s cock was sliding through the cleft of Reiner’s ass cheeks. Before Eren had a chance to express how on board he was with this change of position, Reiner was bitting his bottom lip, before filthily licking into Eren’s open mouth, flicking his tongue over Eren’s and moaning against his lips.

Eren grunted into the kiss, feeling Reiner drag his ass over his hard cock. He could feel the slick of lube between them, signalling that Reiner had come prepared, knowing what was going to happen. Even that made the whole thing hotter, the image Eren had of Reiner fingering himself open, cleaning and slicking up his hole, all in preparation of Eren being the one to plough it.

Moments later, when Reiner pulled back from the kiss, there was a devious smirk on his lips and fucking hell, this guy was going to be the death of Eren.

“Can’t wait to feel you inside me,” Reiner crooned, definitely aware of the effect he was having.

Instead of replying, Eren pulled him back down for another kiss, hands coming down to rest on Reiner’s muscular ass. Reiner grinded down harder against him, and for a second Eren thought he would slip right into the man. Shifting his angle slightly so that wouldn’t happen, Eren grinned when Reiner went back to sliding his taint and ass cheeks back and forth on Eren’s cock.

It was perfect like that for a few more moments, before again Reiner was pushing down instead of horizontally. The head of Eren’s cock pressed against his hole, and when it began to slip in, Eren flinched and pulled back.

“Shi- let me just grab a-”

“You should fuck me raw.”

And that made Eren freeze. Because when he looked up to see the totally honest and insistent expression in Reiner’s face, he realised that the last few ‘near slips’ had definitely been more than deliberate.

“Reiner…”

Before he could finish, Reiner was biting at his jaw, licking over his chin before sloppily kissing up to his ear. Despite himself, Eren let out a long groan when Reiner swirled his tongue over the shell, dipping in before nipping the cartilage.

“We can’t,” he protested, as he felt a hand repositioning his cock.

Fuck, even now Eren sounded so half-hearted it was pathetic.

“It feels so good, baby.” Reiner’s voice was practically vibrating in his ear, the huskiness reverberating through him, to the point where Eren was pretty sure his cock was going to explode. “Wanna feel you against me, inside me. It’d feel amazing, Eren.”

Shiiiiit, Eren was so goddamn tempted. Reiner was irresistible on the most mundane of days, but right now with his naked, hulking body pressing Eren into the mattress? He felt like putty in Reiner’s hands. And god, he wanted to fuck Reiner raw so badly. He couldn’t help but imagine how different it would feel, without the rubber of the condom between them, Reiner’s inside walls hugging his co-

No, Eren needed to get a fucking grip. Even if he hadn’t grown up as the son of a doctor, Eren knew the dangers involved with unsafe sex. He needed to shove aside the immediate temptation and think about the future, and how doing this could impact his life if he wasn’t careful. Sure, it was likely that Reiner was clean, but even if he was, there was still the fact of the talk he’d had with Bertholdt.

“_Reiner just gets so caught up in the moment, and when he’s at his peak, he thinks he’s untouchable_.”

Bertholdt’s words echoed in his mind. He’d trusted Eren, enough to let him be intimate with Reiner and tell him about his condition.

But then again, even if Reiner was riding a period of mania, he was most clean, wasn’t he? If Reiner was clean and so was Bertholdt, then didn’t that mean that Eren would be fine?

Reiner’s massive body gyrated against Eren’s, the legs straddling him tensing tightly. In his moment of distraction, Eren had almost missed Reiner moving his head down, until he was kissing and sucking at the flesh of Eren’s neck. No doubt there would be a serious bruise there tomorrow, but right now Eren had bigger problems on his mind.

Like how he was gradually convincing himself that it would be alright if he did this.

Because for every moment he thought about Bertholdt, or the big picture beyond this moment, it was drowned out by the feel of Reiner on him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and sliding his ass over him. Even compared to the other men in Eren’s life right now, Erwin, Levi, Marco and the others, Reiner was a fucking knockout. The absolutely shredded football jock Eren had drooled over throughout high school, right there begging to be fucked. It was every fantasy he’d ever had come true, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Eren was terrified that Reiner would have a moment of clarity at any moment and come to his senses.

No, Reiner wasn’t only with him because of his euphoric episodes, right?

“Bertholdt doesn’t care,” Reiner crooned again, when Eren stayed silent for too long. “Baby, I want you to come inside me, want you to paint me.”

“I want to,” Eren heard himself reply, before he could stop himself. “I want to, so fucking badly. But I…”

“But what?” When Eren couldn’t formulate a response, Reiner looked at him with a breathless grin. “Exactly. We’re young and crazy, baby. I’m clean. You’re clean. Nothing’s going to happen, except I’m going to ride the shit out of you.”

How Eren was not already cumming, he truly didn’t know.

It didn’t take long after that for Eren to relent, and then Reiner was reaching behind himself again, taking Eren’s cock in his hand and directing it towards his hole. And shit, even just the head slowly stretching Reiner open was enough to make Eren moan loud and needy. He didn’t know how much lube Reiner had used to prepare himself, but he eventually slipped in without too much resistance. Although as Reiner sank down to the base of his dick, Eren did see a slight grimace cross his face.

“Do you need more lube?”

“Nah,” Reiner shot back immediately, staying impaled on Eren as he lent to the side. And as he stretched to reach for something next to the bed, Eren raked his eyes over Reiner’s body. His fucking muscles had muscles, and Eren couldn’t stop dragging his fingers over the striations.

When Reiner came back to being upright, he had a small, glass bottle in his hand. Before Eren could ask what it was, Reiner was unscrewing the lid, and blocking on of his nostrils before leaning in to inhale the contents of the bottle with the other. It was a long drag, and when Reiner pulled away his eyes looked glassy, before an easy smile graced his features.

“What’s that?” Eren asked.

Reiner gestured to the bottle. “This? Just some Amyl to help with the stretch.” When Eren remained confused, Reiner’s eyes widened. “You never had this before? Fucking hell, come here. You’ll love it.”

And again, Eren felt himself being swept up in the moment, to the point that a second later Reiner was cradling the back of his head as he leant forwards on his back. Eren followed Reiner’s lead until he was inhaling what he assumed to be the vapours of whatever was in the bottle, and what was this even meant-

Oh.

Eren giggled, _fucking giggled_, because holy shit he felt so fucking fuzzy. And before he could even begin to express his complete euphoria to anyone who would listen, Reiner was kissing him roughly, grinding down on his lap at the same time. The combined sensations sent sparks dancing across Eren’s vision, small lightning bolts fuzzing through him as Reiner quickly built up a rhythm.

“Oh my god,” Eren breathed, because wow.

Reiner just laughed, looking as elated as Eren felt, and even as he felt the miniscule high begin to wane, the pleasure of Reiner riding him was right there. The man’s enormous shoulders flexed as he leant back to get a better position, his cock bouncing madly as he humped Eren further down into the bed.

Throughout all the added sensations, Eren had almost forgotten that he was fucking Reiner bareback, but he could feel the slide of skin on skin as Reiner rode him. The heat of his insides was intense, the squeeze of his hole just the right level of tightness. And now that he was inside and moving, the lube was more than enough to make it feel good. Above him Reiner took another sniff of the bottle (Amyl, Eren reminded himself), and even as he held it out to Eren afterward, which he gladly accepted, Eren could feel Reiner’s clenching hole relax slightly around him.

Which was how Eren ended up getting his brains rode out, constantly sniffing at whatever the hell Reiner had cooked up and loving every second of it.

***

It was amazing, Eren thought later, how quickly the regret sank in after sex.

It wasn’t the fact that he’d had sex with Reiner, of course, but rather the fact that he’d let himself be coerced into something he’d been so against only moments before. He was annoyed at Reiner, if only a little bit, but mostly at himself. Because Eren had thought that his resolve was stronger than this, and whenever he’d imagined himself in a moment of temptation like that before, he’d always said no.

But Eren hadn’t said no. He’d said a very clear yes, judging by the way he’d later taken Reiner from behind, very enthusiastically.

The warm water from Reiner and Bertholdt’s shower cascaded over his body, and as Eren cleaned the remaining lube off his cock, he couldn’t help but kick himself again. The instant regret had been burning at him ever since he’d withdrawn from Reiner, and now it had morphed into a surge of guilt. Because while he was still pretty sure he was still clean, it was the sheer taboo of what he’d done, what had been ingrained into his sense of right and wrong for as long as he’d been into guys, that was making him feel like shit.

Not to mention Bertholdt. Fucking hell, how was he going to tell Bertholdt what he’d done. In the moment, when Eren had been hard and ready to fuck, the problem had seemed so small. But now? He could see in full clarity what he’d done, how he’d betrayed Bertholdt’s trust after the man had exposed himself to Eren.

Eren was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even register Reiner entering the bathroom until he was opening the shower curtain, and sliding in next to Eren. The shower wasn’t overly big, and with Reiner’s absolutely massive frame there alongside him, it made the fit very tight.

“You rushed out pretty quickly,” Reiner said finally and yeah, that was definitely an erect cock poking at Eren’s thigh. God, his libido was insane.

It was true, though. After Reiner and Eren had switched to fuck doggy-style, it hadn’t them both long to cum. And as the post-sex regret of what he’d done set in, Eren had all but ran out of the room, barely glancing at his cum leaking out of Reiner’s hole on his way out. Reiner. To his credit, had clearly waited intentionally before following him, giving Eren time to think things over.

“Was kinda hoping you’d eat me out like last time.”

“Is sex all you ever think about?”

“When I’m horny? Yeah, kinda.”

And for some reason, Eren laughed at that. Because despite being gay and struggling with his mental condition, Reiner to his core was just another sex-chasing football jock. It was oddly charming, and despite everything, Eren felt a little more settled at the man’s open-book demeanour.

When Reiner wrapped his hands around Eren’s body from behind and began to kiss at his shoulders, Eren finally spoke up.

“I shouldn’t have fucked you raw.”

His voice was quiet, and for a second Eren worried that Reiner hadn’t heard him over the spray of the shower. But then Reiner was halting his progress from behind, despite the fact that his erection was still pressing against Eren.

“I meant it when I said I was clean,” Reiner replied. “Bertl is too.”

“I know, but it’s more than that.” Eren shot back, finally finding his words. “You’re my friend, and I trust you. But I caved so fucking quickly that it worried me what would happen if I was ever in that situation with a random guy. I thought I’d be better at standing my ground, but I’m clearly not.”

“But you _know_ I’m clean.”

Fuck, Eren knew Reiner wouldn’t get it. He knew he sounded whiny, at least compared to the other man, but it’d gotten to him. Still, he decided to let it go, knowing Reiner likely would never understand what he was talking about. When Reiner went back to stroking his body, Eren sighed heavily, before leaning back against the larger frame.

“What are we going to say to Bertholdt?” He asked eventually.

By now, Reiner’s hands had made their way to his cock, and despite himself, Eren could feel himself beginning to get hard again. He knew it was unhealthy, to be have his body make decisions for him, when he was clearly struggling with other matters, but Reiner, like many other guys, had that affect on him. Back in high school, when Eren had gotten into trouble as a result of fooling around with Thomas, Armin had told him that he thought too much with his dick.

Armin was probably right.

“Just don’t say anything,” Reiner replied, as if it was obvious, all the while stroking Eren’s cock from his spot behind him. “You’re making this into some massive drama, Eren. He knows we’re fucking, so let’s just leave it at that. Anything more is just adding shit to the fire that does no good.”

And even as Eren breathed a small sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach deepened. Because of course Reiner wouldn’t want to tell Bertholdt, because fucking raw was clearly something they weren’t meant to have been doing. Eren remembered the look of complete trust of Bertholdt’s face, that last time they’d all been together, when he’d said that only he and Reiner went bareback.

Eren and Reiner had tarnished that. And Reiner was right, in that telling Bertholdt would do them no good at all.

“Fine,” Eren groaned back, unable to supress the whimper in his voice as Reiner’s finger slid over the slit of his cock.

Even though the matter wasn’t totally resolved, Eren felt a small weight lift off him, and as he turned around to face Reiner, he let the man kiss him. It was a filthy kiss, all teeth and tongue and nothing romantic at all, and as the water glistened off Reiner’s skin and wet his hair, Eren saw him visibly swallow.

“You know,” Reiner began, a small but devious smirk on his face, “I’d really appreciate a hand cleaning your cum out of me.”

That got another small laugh from Eren, and as knelt on the floor of the shower and let Reiner turn around to shove his ass into his face, Eren already felt his bad mood begin to lift.

Much later, after Eren had licked the last of his seed out of Reiner and had sucked him off in the shower, he asked the other man a question that had been burning at him.

“What actually was that stuff we sniffed, Reiner?”

Reiner looked up from where he was towelling himself off. “You mean poppers? It’s a just a cheap party drug, amyl nitrate. Give you a headrush and makes your hole relax a bit. Really fucking good for sex.”

And yeah, that much was an understatement. Thinking of Erwin and the size of his cock, Eren smiled, because he could probably use some of that stuff.

***

**Now.**

Armin was nowhere to be seen by the time they got back to campus.

It was unfortunate that they had to double back towards Trost Uni, and seemed overly risky to Eren, but it couldn’t be helped. Armin didn’t have a car with him, and there was no way in hell that they were going to rope someone else into all this shit to drive him. Still, Eren couldn’t help but worry as he parked the van in a small side street near the edge of campus.

Next to him, Mikasa shivered in the cold. “Can you see him?”

Eren shook his head, also shaking despite the fact that he was rugged up in his sister’s coat. It was necessary, given the bloodstains on his shirt.

“He told me he’d meet us here,” Eren replied, looking in the side-mirrors to see if Armin was approaching from behind. But there was no one around the quiet road, although they could hear the excitement going on from the fundraiser nearby.

“Maybe he got lost?” Mikasa offered.

If that was it, then Eren was going to smack Armin. Because they couldn’t afford that, not now.

Sighing, he steeled his nerves. “Stay with the car. I’m going to go look around campus.”

“What? Eren, you can’t-”

“I’ll be okay, the blood’s covered up,” he cut in, trying not to think about _whose_ blood he was covered in. If he went down that road, Eren knew it’d just end with him curled up in a ball and crying, because he needed to compartmentalise (but fuck, he’d just killed-

Forcing his mind away from it again, Eren was already undoing his seatbelt and opening the door. Sure, Mikasa might’ve been the better option to go look for him, but Eren just _felt_ that it had to be him. Besides, if he was seen, at least that would help with an alibi later on.

God, they hadn’t even thought about an alibi yet.

Hugging the jacket tighter around him to keep warm, Eren shot Mikasa one last comforting (or so he hoped) smile.

“I’ve got this.”

Fuck, he hoped he did, at least. Mikasa just nodded, even if she looked displeased, and then Eren was off. Quietly shutting the door behind him, he began to stride in the direction of where he could hear the fundraiser operating in full-force.

With Mikasa now behind him, Eren allowed himself to let out a shaky breath. How the hell was he supposed to act natural around anyone he came across. Surely he’d just end up giving it all away the moment he opened his mouth. He thought back to what had happened last time, with Mikasa’s kidnappers seven years ago, but even that wasn’t much help. The only people around then had been him and Mikasa, and then Zeke later on, but even then Zeke had known from the start what Eren had done.

Despite it all, Eren wished Zeke was here now. He was a fucking prick, but at least he helped to keep Eren’s head on straight.

Eren turned the corner of the street, so that one of the campus buildings was now in view in front of him. At least he was getting closer, even if he was still shitting bricks.

“Eren?”

He heard the voice before he saw it’s owner, letting him breath a sigh of relief because he’d recognise that guy anywhere.

Of course, that moment of respite had to be undercut when he saw who was with Armin.

As he shuffled out to under a streetlight, Eren could finally see why Armin had been delayed, because that was a very drunk Sasha slumped against his shoulder. Armin was almost completely buckled under her, which given that he was built like a twig, made sense.

And then Eren’s brain caught up to what he was seeing, and he began to panic because why the fuck was Sasha here?

“A little help?” Armin grunted, his face strained.

Eren did help, moving to grab the other of Sasha’s arms and hoisting it over his shoulders. Her eyes were open, but Eren could see that she wasn’t coherent, so he hissed across her to Armin.

“Why the fuck is she here? I told you to come alone!”

“What was I meant to do with her?” Armin fired back, but still looked sheepish.

“Give her to someone else?”

“Who?” Armin hissed. “Connie left before you did and hasn’t come back. I couldn’t find Jean, and Marco never turned up in the first place! Hanji was venting to _me_ of all people, and was too busy to look after her. Eren, where the fuck _is_ everyone?!”

Shit, if only it were that simple.

When Eren didn’t reply, Armin continued. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Sasha’s drunk enough that she’s not gonna hear or remember anything, so you can just tell me-”

“We’re past the talking stage now, Armin. Something happened. Something bad.”

And Eren’s face must’ve showed how serious the situation was, because Armin went silent, eyes wide as he stared at Eren.

“… You told him, didn’t you?”

Eren didn’t answer. Because Armin had begged him not to do it, and he’d gone and spilled the beans anyway. And look where he was now.

“Eren,” Armin whispered, his voice shaky, “what did Levi do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this week! Hopefully everyone liked it, as you can see things are starting to heat up on the Reiner and Bertholdt side of things. Things are also brewing in the future for Eren and Erwin, and there'll be a bit more focus on Levi coming up next chapter.
> 
> Sadly, this is going to be the end of weekly updates for now, as I'm going on a holiday for two weeks, and will probably not get any writing done while I'm gone. I have parts of the next few chapters finished, but nothing I can post, so sorry to say that they'll be a bit of a break. I also start Med School later this month, so that will probably get in the way. I'm still going to be trying to update regularly though, so stay tuned!
> 
> Until next time!


	10. A Beginner's Guide to Organised Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you mean, you were just dancing?”
> 
> Next to him, Levi rolled his eyes at Mikasa’s question. “What do you think it means, smartass?”
> 
> “I didn’t ask you-”
> 
> “Guys,” Eren interrupted, before Levi and Mikasa could snark each other to death.
> 
> “I wonder what Levi looks like when he dances,” Connie wondered aloud, Sasha snickering beside him. Levi fixed them both with another glare, but neither seemed to mind, intent on drunkenly eating their kebabs and giggling to themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey... So it's been a while. I know it'd been ages- much longer than I said it would be, so sorry about that. It's been a crazy year and uni has been on my ass, but I finally got back to writing now, so yay!
> 
> Hopefully I should be able to keep up a weekly schedule from now on again, I actually made sure to have a bit of a buffer before posting again because I'm shit at writing with a deadline. For now, enjoy!

**Then. Three Weeks Ago**

The music of the club thumped around them, and Eren grinned to himself as he swayed. He knew he looked awkward, but he was an awkward guy, and after a few drinks the worries he had about other people started to melt away. Free of his inhibitions, Eren danced alongside his friends. At the moment, it was only Mikasa and Marco that he was with, but that was more than enough company.

Sasha and Connie had left half an hour earlier to get kebabs, which had neither surprised Eren nor worried him.

The six of them (including Jean, who had stayed in that night to study for an upcoming test) had been spending more and more time together, and Eren was thrilled to have such a core unit of friends. Growing up, he’d only ever really had Mikasa and Armin, and for a while, he’d been worried it would just be him and Mikasa together at Trost. But Connie and Sasha were almost impossible to not be friends with, their enthusiasm so infectious it brought Eren up in the worst of times. And then there was Marco, who despite having started out just as Eren’s fuckbuddy, was quickly becoming someone he could rely on and have fun hanging out with.

Even Jean, who Eren had his ups and downs with, was still right there in the group of people Eren knew he’d been able to turn to. Not to mention, with Armin’s arrival due in the next few weeks, Eren would have another friend to juggle. He knew Armin would like his new friends, and that things would be as easy as ever between them, because it was Armin.

Eren could depend on him for anything.

The three of them were dancing in an area of the nightclub that was slightly elevated, so when the DJ changed tracks, Eren took the opportunity to glance around the room. It was a sea of bodies, not quite as packed as whatever club Hanji had taken them to last time, but still bustling. And even though he missed hanging out with the rest of the GSA, it was nice to get away from it all for a bit, to just be around his fellow freshmen and not need to feel like he had to impress anyone.

Of course, it was the moment that Eren had that thought when it was flipped right on its head, as he blinked in surprise at the sight of a familiar figure on the other side of the dancefloor.

Because Eren definitely hadn’t expected to see Levi here at the club.

It took him a second take, but Eren could tell that it was him. Levi was once again dressed in all black, wearing his trademark ripped jeans, but to Eren’s surprise had donned a short t-shirt. Eren was sure that he’d seen Levi’s bare arms before, at some point at least, but it just seemed different for some reason. He was used to seeing Levi in a massive jumper, or at least a long-sleeved shirt, so to see him there, weaving in about the bodies dancing, was odd.

Light glinted off something from Levi’s chest, which Eren could make out to be the same silver ring he always wore around his neck.

“Oh shit, it’s Levi.” Eren turned to see Marco staring at Levi as well, his eyes wide.

It was nice to know, at least, that someone other than Eren found the man that striking.

He hadn’t seen them, but Levi was clearly making his way through the club with a purpose, dodging and weaving through dancers like a bullet. Eren couldn’t work out where he was headed, but shock soon blended into excitement, giving him an overwhelming urge to go to the other man.

So he turned back to Marco and Mikasa, at least trying to look apologetic.

“I’m gonna say hi. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Marco rolled his eyes knowingly, but nodded alongside Mikasa as Eren left them, darting in the direction he’d seen Levi go. From their elevated position, it’d been easy to see him earlier, but as Eren made his way to Levi’s last position, he worried for a moment that he wouldn’t be able to find him.

A second later, however, he glanced to his left to see Levi moving that way, and Eren was off. Distantly, he wondered if he was being a bit eager, but the alcohol washed away those fears, and by the time he caught up to Levi, he could already feel the grin forming on his face.

“Levi, hey!” He cheered, as he set a hand down on his shoulder.

Levi had led Eren away from the DJ, so with the music a bit quieter, he didn’t have to shout as loud. But Levi still flinched in response, his default expression of disdain morphing quickly to something Eren couldn’t recognise as he turned around. But then his eyes widened, and a somewhat worried expression rose on him, his eyes darting around as he spoke.

“Eren? What’re you doing here?”

It wasn’t what Eren had expected as a reply, but nevertheless he continued. “I saw you and wanted to say hi! I’m with Mikasa and-”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Levi interrupted, and Eren’s eyebrows arched.

“What?”

“Now, now, now,” a voice drawled from nearby. “That’s a bit rude, ain’t it, Levi. Come introduce your friend to me.”

Eren glanced up, only now just taking in the side room Levi had been about to step into. It was open, with a small table and twin sofas set up. It looked classy, with a bottle of red wine and a pair of glasses laid out for the occupants. A man in a suit stood by the side of it and shit, that was a bodyguard.

But he wasn’t the person who’d spoken up, and as Eren peered into the room, he saw an older man leering at him and Levi. He seemed to be in his early forties, with long, greasy-looking hair that was slicked back. The guy’s chin was dusted with messy facial hair, enough to be visible, but still pretty patchy. When he grinned, Eren could see the toothpick between his teeth, and he shuddered, because something wasn’t quite right about the man.

God, Eren was an idiot. He was such a hot mess, chasing down a guy to the point of interrupting what seemed to be something pretty serious. The word desperate came to mind, but Eren pushed down his embarrassment and swallowed thickly.

Levi too, seemed on edge, but a second later he sighed in resignation. Something that seemed close to a warning danced across his eyes, before he was grasping Eren by the shoulder.

“Come on in,” he invited, but Eren could tell that Levi wanted him anywhere but there at the moment.

Still, he hesitantly followed Levi into the small room, and a second later the bodyguard stepped outside, drawing the curtain closed behind him. The area wasn’t overly big, but there was still enough room for Eren and Levi to easily sit down opposite the man. And when they did, the guy’s grin widened even more, to the point that it was practically ear to ear.

“Gotta say,” the older man began, when Levi stayed silent and Eren just shuffled nervously on the spot, “you ain’t usually the type of company my man Levi tends to keep, but ya not bad on the eyes.”

And again, Eren felt shivers race across him, because as much as the man oozed confidence, there was that clear sense of danger that had Eren’s survival instincts screaming for him to run for the hills. But he had no doubt that the bodyguard was right outside the room, and really, he had no one to blame but himself for getting him to where he was. Distantly, he wondered where Mikasa and Marco were, and if they were looking for him.

Fuck, he had to get a hold of himself. Surely this guy wasn’t that bad, right? After all, Eren was in a nightclub. While somewhat sketchy, it was still a public area. He’d be fine.

“But silly me,” the guy drawled on. “Where are my manners? Levi, why don’t you introduce your friend to me.”

Eren could _taste_ the disdain in the air as Levi bristled next to him. “This is Eren. I met him once through a friend on campus. Eren, meet my uncle, Kenny Ackerman.”

Oh shit. Eren didn’t know who he’d expected the man to be, but Levi’s uncle? That hadn’t been up there in the list of possibilities. Still, now that Eren thought about it, he could see certain similarities between the two of them. They had similar eyes, and when the light above them bounced off Kenny’s face, Eren reckoned he could see a bit of Levi in those cheekbones.

But Kenny was all smiles, and Levi definitely wasn’t grinning now. Eren could feel the tension in the room, even in his still somewhat inebriated state. He also hadn’t missed how Levi had downplayed their connection, and while for a second he’d been about to blindly correct Levi, he now realised why he’d done that. Because for some reason, Levi didn’t want Kenny to know that they were closer than it seemed.

Unless, of course, Levi truly thought of him that way. And despite the fact that he had other things to worry about right then and there, Eren couldn’t help but feel a little worried that that was all he was to Levi.

“Eren, you say?” Kenny replied, the grin never leaving his face. He mimed the tipping of a hat to Eren, acknowledging Eren. “I’ve gotta ask, what made you seek out Levi tonight? You seemed in a bit of a rush to talk to him.”

Yeah, no. Eren wasn’t going to tell this guy that he wants to bang his nephew.

Instead, in an odd moment of clarity for being as inebriated as he was, Eren grinned wide. “I saw him across the club and wanted to say hi. I know it’s silly, but I’d had a bit to drink and got separated from my friends.”

He could feel Levi’s gaze on him, and Eren made sure to slur the last few words a little, not wanting to seem too obvious. While not innocent, Eren was self-aware enough to know he gave off naïve vibes, and while he wasn’t an actor by any means, was ready to play into those aspects of his personality if needed. This Kenny guy unsettled him, his smile not reaching his eyes, and Eren could feel them assessing him, even in that moment.

Of course, there was still the very real possibility that Eren was just more tipsy than he realised, and paranoia was getting to him. But he could feel Levi staring at him intently as well, and knew that even if he didn’t understand entirely what was going on, he at least knew something wasn’t quite right.

“Wanted to say hi,” Kenny slowly repeated back, looking a little surprised. “You’ve _met_ Levi, right? Not many people are lining up to ‘say hi’. He certainly ain’t the most friendly of fellas, after all.”

“Oh fuck off Kenny,” Levi cut in suddenly, only for Kenny to laugh straight to his face.

“My point,” Kenny smirked.

A beat of silence passed, and then Levi was speaking again. “Can you kick this kid out now, Kenny? We need to talk.”

And while Eren would usually be offended by being talked at like that, he was more than ready to be out of this room.

However, Kenny just chuckled a second time. “I’m just getting to know the boy, Levi. Besides, I’m sure after I helped you out with that little charity thing of yours, the business talk can wait a minute.”

Levi bristled, but stayed silent after that. Still, as Kenny turned back to him, Eren’s mind was whizzing.

“_I’ll just have to get Levi to help out. Hate asking for him to do that, though…_” Hanji’s words from weeks ago echoed in his mind.

“Excuse me, Eren,” Kenny suddenly said, cutting through Eren’s thoughts. “I’m afraid I’m gonna have to be blunt. Cause you seem like a nice young man, when Levi here ain’t really a ball of cuddles himself. But you don’t exactly play well at being drunk, and I can tell you’re into him. Am I wrong, boy?”

Levi stiffened next to him, and Eren’s breath caught in his throat. Because god, the stare Kenny was levelling him with seemed to tear right through him, like he was being viewed by an X-ray. And that grin from earlier was nowhere to be seen, no replaced by a straight line where his lips met.

Fucking hell, first Erwin, now this? How the hell did Eren manage to himself in these situations.

In the pocket of his jeans, Eren could feel his phone vibrating, and knew it would be Mikasa.

Ignoring it, Eren stared back at Kenny. The guy was scary, but even though his heart was pounding, Eren knew what needed to be said. Kenny had already seen right through him, and seemed like someone that didn’t appreciate bullshit. Eren wouldn’t get away with lying to him again.

Yeah, Kenny Ackerman was dangerous, but so was Eren. He’d been dangerous for seven years, since he was twelve years old. So despite everything telling him to run, Eren swallowed, and snorted softly.

“Yeah, I’m into him.”

The air went silent around them, and for a second Eren was worried he’d said the wrong thing.

But then Kenny’s mouth split as he let out a loud “Bah!”, and then he was cackling like a madman, throwing his head back and running a hand over his greasy hair. He kept going for several more seconds, enough to make Eren grow even more uncomfortable. The sensation was only increased when he felt Levi’s gaze on him again, and the weight of what he’d just admitted came crashing down on him.

Oh shit.

Eventually, Kenny calmed down, and he rubbed at his eyes, pretending to brush away tears. When he pulled his hands away, he was grinning widely, and pointed at Eren. “I love this guy!” He shouted at Levi.

“Kenny-”

“You ever need anything, Eren,” Kenny interrupted, “You come to me, okay? Ol’ Uncle Kenny’s gonna be watching your back.” He turned back to Levi, not losing his grin for a second. “Seriously, Levi. This boy’s a keeper. Way better than those other two losers, what were their-”

“You better watch your mouth-”

All of a sudden, the verbal back and forth was interrupted when the curtain that had been drawn closed moved, and to Eren’s surprise a stunningly beautiful woman walked in. She was dressed in a dark-red pant suit, with her blonde hair tied back in a high bun. The woman’s serious gaze scanned the room, before settling on Kenny.

“We need to go, sir. Your appointment with Mr. Reiss is scheduled for an hour from now.”

Kenny looked at the woman, before scowling. “Dammit Caven, you sure know how to ruin a fun night.”

But despite his words, Kenny was standing up, and as he straightened his coat, he turned back to Eren.

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around, Eren. Try not to grow too tired of ol’ Levi here. Speaking of,” Kenny muttered, as he passed Levi on his way out. He reached into his jacket pocket, before passing over what looked to be a small, clear baggie to Levi, who quickly pocketed it himself.

“Enjoy the free wine, boys.”

Without another word, Kenny and the woman, Caven, slipped out of the room, leaving Eren and Levi sitting in silence.

If Eren hadn’t felt uncomfortable before, he definitely did now.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Levi’s silver ring glinting from around his neck.

“So…”

“Do you have a death wish?” Levi growled suddenly, and when Eren finally turned to look at him, Levi was staring at Eren with what had to be bewilderment.

“… Um, what?”

To his surprise, Levi laughed at him, actually laughed, and when he stopped, there was what looked to be a rueful smirk on his face.

“You’re a goddamn piece of work, Yeager.”

But then Eren remembered what he’d been thinking earlier, and his eyes narrowed. “So when Hanji needed your help with Fritz?”

Levi stared at him for a second, before sighing heavily and nodding. “Kenny has a lot of connections through his business, a lot of which are higher ups at the university, like Fritz.”

“And Reiss?”

Levi just nodded again.

“And what is his business?” Eren pressed further, knowing he was pushing his luck.

Levi snorted. “More like what _isn’t_ his business. Drugs, laundering, the works. The Ackerman’s have always been a powerful family in Trost, but Kenny made sure to get his claws into as many powerful people as he could.”

Eren swallowed, thinking things over. It made sense, given how quickly Hanji and Levi had been able to get Fritz to give the okay on the fundraiser. It seemed trivial, in comparison to what he now knew to be the extent of things. And as he thought about it more, things began to fall into place, like how Levi had brought the caps to Historia’s the other week, and Hanji had been adamant that the drugs were pure and not contaminated. So while Hanji obviously knew about Levi’s connections as well, it just left Eren wondering who else did.

Neither he nor Levi seemed to want to bring up the other thing that had come to light, about Eren’s interests in him. The wine also remained untouched.

Another beat of silence passed, and then Eren’s phone was buzzing in his pocket again.

Shit, Mikasa was going to kill him.

***

“What do you mean, you were just dancing?”

Even Mikasa, usually so calm and nonplussed about everything, seemed incredulous as she stared at Eren. Next to her, Marco was similarly sceptical, his eyes bouncing between Eren and Levi as people bustled about them. By the time Eren had gotten in contact with them, Mikasa and Marco had been looking for Eren for long enough to be worried. So, when Eren and Levi had met them outside the club, Mikasa had greeted Eren with a strong punch to the shoulder.

Eren totally hadn’t yelped in a high-pitched way in front of Levi afterwards.

They’d been gone for so long that Connie and Sasha had returned, the two already waiting outside the club with Mikasa and Marco, kebabs ready in hand. And god, they looked pretty good, but Eren knew better to try and get food off Sasha, and Connie was just as bad when he was drunk. The two were swaying against each other, Sasha’s eyes drifting shut periodically but her mouth never stopping in its chewing.

Next to him, Levi rolled his eyes at Mikasa’s question. “What do you think it means, smartass?”

“I didn’t ask you-”

“Guys,” Eren interrupted, before Levi and Mikasa could snark each other to death. And how the fuck had he not realised how similar they were until now? Turning to Mikasa, he continued. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you guys again, you know with a few drinks in me I become useless with that kinda shit.”

“We were just worried,” Marco added, before cowing a bit when Levi’s glare turned his way.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Eren placated, feeling like shit for lying. But he couldn’t tell them where he’d been, or what he’d learnt about Levi and Kenny. Because Kenny was deadly, and for some reason, he seemed to like Eren, but that could quickly change if he was a blabbermouth about everything.

He needed time to think, to process things. Between this, everything going on with Erwin, and then Reiner and Bertholdt, it was becoming impossible to keep track of who knew what. Eren just had to keep a lid on things, and make sure it wouldn’t all come crashing together when shit hit the fan.

To make things worse, Eren and Levi hadn’t been able to properly finish their conversation inside, before he’d had to meet with the others.

“I wonder what Levi looks like when he dances,” Connie wondered aloud, Sasha snickering beside him. Levi fixed them both with another glare, but neither seemed to mind, intent on drunkenly eating their kebabs and giggling to themselves.

“Anyway,” Eren continued, trying to keep Levi from killing someone. “I think we should head, guys. Sasha’s about to pass out, and my legs are killing me.”

Fortunately, everyone seemed to agree, despite Sasha insisting that she was fine around a mouthful of lamb meat. Mikasa led the way, and Eren was about to follow when he felt a hand on his arm. Already knowing who it’d be, Eren turned to face Levi, eyebrows arched in question.

“Come back to mine?”

Oh fuck, he hadn’t been expecting that. But Levi was looking at him with an oddly unguarded gaze, his face scrunched in questioning. And already Eren was in, so fucking in, even if it was just to spend more time with Levi.

He didn’t want to think about if Erwin could see him now, because apparently Eren was as fickle as fucking anything.

Mikasa hadn’t liked Eren leaving them, especially when she learned he’d be heading home with Levi. It was rare that she had a problem with Eren going home with guys, but Eren knew that Levi rubbed her the wrong way, especially after tonight. Still, he’d shot a look at her that had begged her to let it go, and a few minutes later he and Levi were hopping in a cab to the other man’s apartment.

Eren hadn’t known what he’d been expecting upon arrival, but all things considered, Levi’s apartment was pretty plain. It was in a similar building to that of Historia’s as well as Reiner and Bertholdt’s, albeit it further out from where the university campus was. But as Levi led them up to his floor, Eren could already see it was nicer than Reiner and Bertholdt’s. And now that he knew what the Ackerman’s did for work, it made sense.

Sure, it wasn’t quite as lavish as Historia’s place, but upon entering Levi’s apartment, he was impressed with the size of it. For someone as dark and broody as Levi, his apartment was oddly white, seemingly too light for its owner. It was spotless as well, with not a single item or furniture out of place. Eren glanced around, from the large kitchen to the massive tv mounted on the wall.

Yeah, this didn’t scream ‘Levi Ackerman’.

“Kenny bought the place,” Levi said from behind him, seeming to read Eren’s mind. “Probably thought it’d win me over, given that I didn’t have much while growing up. Just made me hate the bastard even more.”

And Eren wanted to press further into that, but he was also distinctly aware of the fact that _Levi had fucking invited him home_. So, he steeled himself and turned to Levi.

“So… about what I said…”

“That you’re into me?” Levi finished off, as blunt as ever. When Eren stayed silent, he sighed. “You weren’t exactly subtle, you know.”

Yeah, Eren had figured. “Then why didn’t you make a move?”

Levi stayed silent, instead walking to the kitchen to throw his kitchen on the bench. He then went to a cupboard, and to Eren’s surprise, pulled a bottle of whiskey out of it. After taking a swig of the liquid, Levi place the bottle on the bench.

“I’m not exactly a good person to be around, in case you haven’t noticed. You need to shake this little crush of yours, because its gonna get you in trouble.”

“With Kenny?”

“He’s not a good man, Eren. _I’m_ not a good man.”

Despite himself, Eren scoffed. “You think I am?”

“Oh please. You have no idea what you’re-”

“I’m not saying that just to say that,” Eren said suddenly, cutting Levi off.

Fuck, he probably shouldn’t be telling Levi this.

But Levi just gestured at him to continue, albeit slightly surprised, so Eren steeled himself.

“I know I look like this naïve, fresh-faced kid, but I’m… not that innocent, actually. My last boyfriend, well… let’s just say I have some issues with my anger every now and then.”

He could feel Levi’s piercing eyes on him as Eren reached for the bottle, taking a swig of the burning liquid. Wincing, he set the bottle down and swallowed. “I, uh… Thomas and I were together for a while, but we never told anyone. Well, Mikasa and my other friend, Armin, knew, but neither of us were out. Back home in Shiganshina, gay people don’t really fit in, so it was better to stay in the closet. But Thomas, he… he was more scared than me. Always looking for any excuse to be straight.”

“He cheated on me with some girl halfway through last year, decided he was straight. I dunno, it just got to me, and then at school he’d rub it in my face. Wouldn’t stop talking about whatever girl he was into that day. Then one day after school, Thomas decided he’d push a little harder. Tried to convince me that I should get a girlfriend too, so that I wouldn’t go to hell. He told me that I was the one that had tried to turn him gay, but it wasn’t too late for me to be better.”

“He sounds like an insecure asshole,” Levi offered.

“He was just scared,” Eren replied, before continuing. “But I, uh. Well, I didn’t react well. I had a reputation at school, you know? I was always the kid getting in fights. When I was thinner it was mostly me getting beaten up, but after I started to fill out I began to get them back. And Thomas was still bigger than me, a fair bit bigger actually, but I knocked him clean on his back. Broke his nose in one punch, but I still kept going.”

“By the time we were separated, he had to be taken to the hospital. I think he ended up with a concussion, actually. He got a few good blows in, though. I had a black eye for ages. No one ever knew what we were fighting about, because we were both too scared to give them the reason why.”

When Eren finally looked up at Levi, the other man was shaking his head. “Punching out a dickhead doesn’t make you a bad person, Eren.”

“I’ve done worse,” Eren shot back immediately and fuck, why the hell was he saying this? Catching himself before he could go any further, he blinked. “I- it doesn’t matter, but I did something pretty bad. And the best part? I never felt bad, not for a second. When it happens, I just… see red. And I can’t stop myself until it’s over.”

“So why are you telling me?”

“Because I don’t want you to write me off as some kid.” Feeling brave, he made his way around the corner of the bench and towards Levi. The situation was so similar to that with Erwin, but right now, Eren seemed to tower over Levi. The guy looked irresistible, his pale arms crossed over his chest and nose scrunched almost adorably. “And I think you want me back, too.”

“So what if I do?” Levi replied as Eren got close, and that wasn’t a denial.

“I don’t want you to be afraid of hurting me. I can look after myself,” Eren said, finally getting close enough to touch Levi. Slowly, he drew his hands forward, and when Levi didn’t protest, he placed his them on the man’s shoulders. God, Levi was right there in front of him, and Eren knew the guy would pack a punch. He could see lithe muscles in those arms, thinner than his own but still toned.

Again, Eren slowly let his hands glide down Levi’s biceps, skin cold under his own. When Levi looked up at him, just a few inches shorter than Eren. Levi’s lips, thinner than Eren’s but still kissable as fuck, pressed together, right there in front of him.

“Can I?”

Levi had barely nodded before Eren was diving down, pressing his own lips against Levi’s. The other man stayed still for only a second, before he was kissing back, and then his hands were uncrossing and wrapping around Eren’s body. Lips pressed against each other before the kiss deepened, Levi immediately sliding his tongue into Eren’s mouth. And god, it seemed Levi had only needed the go ahead, because he was oozing control, hands already resting on the small of Eren’s back as he surged forward.

Their pace increased, Eren’s mind buzzing as the kiss quickly became animalistic. Levi’s lips were chilly from the night air, but Eren brushed it off as he felt a tongue against his own, letting Levi control the kiss and tasting him as he went. He could hear Levi breathing heavily against him, one hand already having slipped down to cup Eren’s ass.

“Fuck, Levi,” Eren breathed raggedly, when they pulled apart.

It was reward enough to see the small upwards tilt to Levi’s own lips, the other man usually so hard to read. But there was a level cockiness in his features now, and Eren remembered how quietly confident Levi had been in his abilities the night they had first interacted.

Levi’s hands squeezed his ass hard, and Eren whined softly before leaning back in. This time, the kiss was even rawer, and his teeth gnashed harshly against Levi’s as Eren grinded his dick against the man’s waist.

Eren ran his hands through Levi’s hair, attacking him roughly and messing him up as much as he could. Levi grunted heavily against him, and then they were shuffling across the room, in a direction Eren hoped was towards the bedroom.

They bumped against the corner of the bench, and then Eren yelped a little when he almost tripped over a chair, but Levi didn’t care, tugging at him roughly and groaning against him. By now, Levi’s hands had somehow dipped under the waistband of Eren’s jeans, and that was definitely a finger sliding between the cheeks of his ass.

“Gonna fuck you so damn good, you little shit,” Levi huffed while somehow still managing to bite Eren’s lips at the same time.

Eren just whined against him because fuck, this was actually happening.

Levi growled, pulling Eren further against him as they finally found their way to the bedroom. Eren assumed Levi had been directing him, and a second later he was being pushed onto a large, king-size bed, bouncing slightly as he did so. No sooner had he landed then Levi was on him again, lying on top of him and spreading Eren’s legs apart. And then he was licking back into his mouth, and Eren let him, keeping his lips slack to make Levi do all the work. Lips crashed against teeth, and their tongues lick over each other as the bed creaked under them.

By the time they were separating to undress, Eren could feel his lips burning from the friction, and knew they’d be as red as Levi’s were. He rushed to get his clothes off, fumbling with his belt as Levi stood up to pull Eren’s shoes roughly off. As Levi was undressed in front of him, Eren paused, because fucking hell. Levi was as lithe as he’d expected, still mostly muscle, but thinner than Eren by a fair deal. His pale skin looked striking in comparison to his dark hair, and Eren was already committing every striation of toned muscle to memory.

There were more than a few tattoos on Levi’s chest, and Eren glanced between them. There was writing above his left nipple, around the area of the heart, and another symbol (maybe wings?) on the underside of his ribcage.

God, Eren hoped he’d have the chance to study them.

After removing his shirt, Levi paused to pull off the ring around his neck, and Eren was against momentarily distracted as the man moved to put it on top of a dresser. But then Levi was back to removing his own jeans, and Eren realised he’d stopped undressing.

They finished stripping together, underwear following the pants, and Eren already wanted Levi’s cock in him. While half-hard, it was already big, and if Eren had to guess it was probably around the size of his own, if not a bit bigger. Levi crawled over to him on the bed, and then they were back to it, kissing wetly as Eren finally got a hand around the man’s cock.

With how long this had been building, Eren didn’t care in the slightest when Levi’s hands went straight for his ass. Foreplay could come another time, after they’d gotten past the immediate rush of desire. Right now, Eren wanted it all at once, and after Levi quickly moved to get lube and a condom, Eren was rolling over on his stomach to grant him access.

A wet finger pressed against his rim for only a second before it was sliding in, and Eren groaned. A week ago, it probably would’ve been too much for him, but since things had escalated with Erwin, Eren had been practicing. He’d known that if he wanted to take Erwin’s cock, he’d need to be ready, and so Eren had slowly started to experiment with cleaning and fingering himself. And he was glad that he’d done so, because even now he was ready for another finger, which Levi apparently agreed with if the second intrusion was anything to go by.

“Nice and tight,” Levi mumbled, whether to himself or Eren, he wasn’t sure.

He hadn’t bottomed in a fair while, not since Thomas, who had usually liked to be on top. But in the past week, and especially _right fucking now_, Eren was reminded of why he’d used to enjoy it so much. Because Levi was scissoring him apart, and brushing over what was probably Eren’s prostate a second later, judging by the spike of pleasure it sent jolting through him.

“I’m ready,” Eren growled, surprising himself with the ferocity of his voice. “Fucking ready, Levi.”

Instead of replying, Levi just removed his fingers, before slapping Eren hard on the left cheek.

“Ride me, then.”

After pausing to put on the condom (which Eren was glad for, so soon after Reiner), Eren straddled Levi’s body, before reaching behind himself for the man’s cock. Eren hadn’t expected a romantic fuck from Levi, and it was still as clear as anything that he wasn’t going to get one.

But that was right where he wanted to be as well, because Eren wasn’t in this for a lovey dovey romance. He would have the be the most naïve person on the planet to expect that from Levi. Still, he’d cracked Levi by now, enough to know that his sneering words and heated gaze were signs was lust, even if it didn’t seem so at first glance.

As he lowered himself, he felt the head of Levi’s cock press against his skin, just above his hole. He reached back, grabbing it in his hand, before positioning it correctly. Not wasting any further time, Eren sank down, the ring of muscle stretching as Levi slid right in. He couldn’t hold back the breathless moan that left his lips, and even though Levi’s face was seemingly blank, he could see the need in the man’s eyes.

“Oh, fuck,” he whimpered, feeling Levi’s cock stretch him. But as Eren’s hole adjusted to the girth that was Levi’s dick, he let out a long sigh. In terms of thickness, Levi was no Erwin, but he was still pretty big. And although it felt a little blasphemous to be thinking it, Eren was glad that he was getting fucked by Levi, first before Erwin.

Still, it felt like Eren was being split right through the middle, filling him up just fucking right. Despite the haphazard and rushed stretching of his hole, Levi still felt big, spreading his hole and sending a dull pain through him. But Eren didn’t stop lowering himself down, swallowing down his grimace and finishing the job.

Eren wanted this, fucking badly, and already he was addicted to the feeling and wanting even more.

Finally, the cheeks of Eren’s ass touched against Levi’s hips, and he settled down against him. Levi was staring up at Eren with a raw expression, his usually perfectly-styled hair all over the place thanks to Eren’s efforts earlier. Still, Levi looked unguarded, as much as Eren had ever seen him, and before he could think twice Eren was bending forward, coming up on Levi’s cock a little as he pressed their lips together.

“You feel good,” Levi purred when they separated, and Eren bit his bottom lip.

“You feel _amazing_, Levi,” he answered, truthfully, because even if Eren apparently wasn’t a sucker for a bit of pain, just the knowledge that he finally had Levi Ackerman’s cock inside him was enough to have him soaring.

And then Levi began to rock his hips, and Eren’s vision blurred a bit at the edges.

“Oh shit! Fuck, god that feels good.”

To Eren’s amazement, Levi shot him a cocky grin, so different to his usual smirk. It was wide, and more open than he had anticipated, and Eren shivered as he ran his hands over Levi’s chest. Bracing them against Levi’s pecs, he used it as leverage to begin bouncing up and down, his own cock still hard and slapping between their bodies.

It didn’t take long for Eren to build up a rhythm, and by the time he was really going, the pleasure he was getting from each thrust of Levi’s cock was drowning out any remote soreness. It was no surprise that out of the two of them, Eren was the loud one, not being able to refrain from babbling to Levi about _how fucking good this felt_. Still, Levi was more vocal than Eren had expected, crooning to him as his hands settled under Eren’s ass, helping his movements.

And god, why the fuck had Eren taken this long to get back into bottoming? He could’ve been riding Marco or Bertholdt or even Reiner for weeks now.

A second later, Levi’s hands were gripping Eren’s hips roughly, and fuck he hoped there’d be bruises tomorrow. He let Levi shove him up and down, adding to the force of the movement, and Eren yelled desperately when Levi’s cock struck at his prostate again and again.

“Roll over,” Levi growled eventually, and Eren was already moving to do so.

Settling on his hands and knees, Eren glanced to his side to see himself in the reflection of a massive, full-length mirror. And holy shit, he looked wrecked, his skin shining with sweat and face red with exertion. Like Levi, his hair was all over the place, and instead of looking behind him, he settled on watching Levi slide into him in the mirror.

As Levi slammed into him, Eren let out a long moan, like the cock inside had literally forced it out of his lungs. Levi didn’t pause, quickly picking up the pace as his hands settled on Eren’s hips, before smacking him on the ass once, and then another time a second later.

And fuck, if the feeling of having Levi pound into him wasn’t great enough, a clear view of it was even better. Because the full-length mirror let Eren see every twitch of Levi’s face, ever tense of his muscles, and every time Eren himself whined in need. Thinking about it, Eren might’ve been a bit of a narcissist, because damn if the sight of him being fucked by Levi didn’t make him want to cum on the spot.

The angle of the mirror gave him a perfect side-on view of the action, letting him view the way his own body, still on all fours, shook slightly with each thrust in. He could see Levi’s hands grip rough around his hips, the slightest hint of his cock every time he withdrew, only to thrust back in with a resounding skin-on-skin slap.

Eren just watched in awe as the muscles across Levi’s thighs, abs and arms tensed and relaxed repeatedly, the strain of the action making him grunt softly. And while Eren knew better than to think it, just the site of Levi biting his bottom lip in exertion made his stomach flip a little, to know that he of all people was able to put that expression on the man’s face.

And then Levi’s eyes met his in the mirror, and that smirk he’d been seeing more and more of his found its way onto his face.

“You like that, brat? Watching as I fuck you into the mattress?”

All Eren could do was groan loudly, muttering a strangled “uh huh” under his breath as Levi thrusted particularly deep. A moment later, the other man moved his hands up off Eren’s hips to grasp his shoulders tightly, and then Eren was being pulled back enough that his front was lifted off the bed. The sight was even better in the mirror, because holy fuck, Levi was practically holding him at a 45-degree angle as he fucked into him. And Eren could see the mix of shock and ecstasy on his face, his mouth wide open in pure pleasure from the feeling of it.

His moans probably sounded over the top and desperate, but fuck it. Eren kept screaming.

He could feel Levi’s cock relentlessly tormenting his prostate with each motion, rubbing against his walls as it moved. Sweat was brewing over his brow, and when he looked again at the mirror, he could see the same was true for Levi, a drop of salty perspiration dripping off the edge of his nose and dropping into the area where their hips met.

To Eren’s surprise, Levi’s next move was to draw him even closer, so that his back pressed hard against the other man’s body, heat practically radiating off the man’s skin. And he both saw and felt it when the other man leant in to bite his ear hard, teeth clashing against the soft cartilage.

“I want you to watch as you cum for me.”

And it only took a few more thrusts before Eren did exactly that, his eyes glued to the mirror as he watched his body practically convulse, muscles flexing hard and chest panting hard. He watched as his cock pulsed, shooting one, then two, then three thick ropes of cum over the mattress, followed by several smaller wads of seed.

Before he could react, Levi was turning his head to capture him in another rough kiss, messy and side-on and leaving him gasping. He both heard and felt Levi grunt against him as the other man’s rhythm stuttered, and then he was falling apart, climaxing as he kept his mouth pressed on Eren’s.

***

**Now.**

“Fuck, Armin! I don’t know what to tell you, okay? I didn’t think Levi would flip out like that!”

They were still in the street Eren had met Armin on. With Sasha in the condition she was in, they couldn’t really take her to Connie’s van. Not when they had no real idea how much she’d remember.

Right now, she was propped up against a light post a few metres away.

“Can you blame him?” Armin hissed back, clearly trying to keep his voice low. “What would you do in that situation, Eren? If someone told you that they thought Mikasa or I had_-_”

Eren cut Armin off with a hand over his mouth, because Sasha had stirred beside them. They both froze for a second, but when she just groaned and nodded back off, Eren breathed a sigh of relief.

“We need to do something about her, A,” Eren said eventually, as he pulled his hand away. “We can’t keep dragging Sasha around, she needs someone to look after her.”

“I know, I know. Who’s safe to call?”

Eren honestly didn’t know anymore. So he just ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily.

“I just… couldn’t take it anymore, man,” he sighed after a second, more in response to what Armin had been said earlier about Levi. “All these secrets have just been piling up on me for ages. I needed to tell someone.”

Armin stayed quiet for a few extra seconds, before glancing over to check again that Sasha was okay. “Look, there’s no point arguing about it anymore. What’s done is done, and right now we need to think about how to fix this.”

“_Fix_ this?”  
  


Glancing back to him, Armin looked hesitant. “Are you sure he’s, you know…?”

“Dead?”

Someone in the distance shouted something, clearly at the fundraiser. Armin didn’t bother confirming his question.

“… Yeah,” Eren said after a while. “I stabbed him in the face. Pretty sure you can’t come back from that, at least I think so,” he scoffed.

Eren really shouldn’t be cracking jokes right now.

And Armin had that look in his eyes, like he was scared. Scared _for_ Eren and god, he could totally see why. Eren knew he must seem unhinged, and he probably was, to still be thinking straight and not be a crying mess instead.

He’d had practice, after all.

“But I meant it, Eren,” Armin said all of a sudden. “This _can_ be fixed, at least partially. We just have to make sure that the circle doesn’t get any bigger than you, Mikasa, Levi and myself. So, what we need to-”

“Bertholdt knows too.”

“What?!”  
  


“Shhhhhhhhh,” Eren hissed, before glancing to make sure Sasha hadn’t stirred a second time.

Armin _did_ take a second to check himself, but still looked furious.

“How the hell does Bertholdt know?” Armin hissed.

“He… kinda caught us? But it’s taken care of, I promise.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not,” Eren replied, snorting slightly despite himself.

Armin shook his head in wonder. “God, Eren. How the hell are you so calm about all this?”

And honestly, Eren didn’t even know. Hell, he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t had a complete breakdown yet, with what was happening around him. But if there was one thing he was certain of, it was that Armin was a fucking saint for not freaking out as well.

It was proven once again, when a moment later Armin pressed his lips together in a thin line, and looked gravely at Eren.

“Okay, here’s what we need to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for this one, the next chapter will be out by next weekend for sure. After that, who knows, but I'm hoping that there won't be any more major delays/hiatuses. For now, let me know what you think- the theories and comments really spur me on to finish thing this!
> 
> Until next time!


	11. How to Avoid a Love Triangle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin laughed, loud and pure, and Eren couldn’t help but chuckle along with him. “You’re a little devil, Eren. I haven’t heard Mikasa so grumpy about a guy you’ve taken home before, he must’ve really ticked her off.”
> 
> “Levi?” Eren questioned loudly, hoping the man in question could hear, “yeah, he’s a total prick. But he’s actually pretty similar to Mikasa, though.”
> 
> “Fuck off, I am not!” A yell came from the next room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back and this ones going up a bit earlier than planned! It was incredible to see so many amazing comments after such a long hiatus, so you guys made my week! Enjoy the next chapter!
> 
> Warning: there's light drug use in this chapter (weed only). It is nothing as heavy as what has already been in the fic so far, so it probably shouldn't be a problem, but I wanted to put this here in case anyone may be triggered in some way.

**Then. Three Weeks Ago**

“Oh fuck yes.”

Levi pressed himself back against the wall of the shower, drops of water dripping down his body as he went to work. Even with the showerhead spraying water over his hair and ears, Eren swore he could hear his breaths coming in short, shallow grunts. He couldn’t resist raking his fingers through Levi’s wet hair, simply enjoying being able to play with it as the other man sucked him off.

To Eren’s delight, Levi hadn’t kicked him out after they’d finished fucking, with them instead laying on the bed together for some time afterward. They hadn’t cuddled, and Eren was pretty sure Levi wasn’t a cuddler, but it’d still been nice, to be there and be content in each other’s presence.

Of course, it hadn’t taken Eren long to get hard again, and after he’d started to get handsy with Levi once more, the other man had directed him to the shower, so that they could at least get clean at the same time.

Which Eren was _more_ than fine with.

When Levi let out a small (and totally cute) moan around Eren’s cock, he couldn’t resist groaning back.

“Fucking hell, your mouth.”

Eren struggled to not buck his hips as Levi took him even deeper into his mouth, before doing that thing that Eren loved where he swallowed tightly around his cock. He could feel Levi’s tongue laving at the underside of his cock, and a second later Levi was pulling back a little, so that only the head of Eren’s cock was in his mouth. His eyes were now open again, and Eren stood above him, transfixed by those piercing orbs.

“God,” he muttered to himself, carding his hands through Levi’s hair again as the man swirled his tongue over Eren’s cock. “You look so fucking good down there.”

When Levi did fully pull off him, he was wearing the small smirk that Eren had come to know, the right side of his mouth slightly upturned. Eren let his right hand glide down his cheek, before Levi was there, taking his thumb in between his lips. As Levi jacked him off at the same time, Eren groaned, feeling the man’s tongue against the pad of his thumb.

Levi’s hair was plastered over his forehead from the water, and that adorable yet sexy sight, along with Levi’s increasing pace of his hand, was enough to make Eren cum. His seed splashed over Levi’s face and lips, but was just as quickly washed away by the stream of water raining down on them. As he climaxed, Eren felt Levi biting down on his thumb lightly, stroking him through his orgasm all the while.

***

Later that night (although by now, it was early morning), as Eren lay naked on Levi’s bed, he felt movement next to him. Levi had been dozing for the last half an hour or so, but Eren had been too hyped up to sleep. The rush of finally getting to do it with Levi (multiple times) had taken a while to wear off, and as reality sank in, he’d become caught up in what he actually wanted.

Because Levi was amazing, but so was Erwin.

Objectively, Eren knew that both were bad for him. Erwin was the definition of unattainable, the professor that was forbidden, except that he wasn’t. And he wanted Eren, for both his body and brain, and that stirred something in Eren that he couldn’t quite decipher.

Eren had never really thought of himself as smart, before Erwin had called him that.

And then there was Levi, the classic bad boy. The man who spent more time skulking than smiling, but showed more than he told. Compared to Erwin, Levi was on his level, a student like him that Eren could freely be seen with and not have to worry about what people would think. But while dissimilar in that regard, Levi came with his own set of dangers, ones that could very well have greater consequences than just having to attend a disciplinary hearing.

Eren could be naïve at times, but he wasn’t a complete idiot. And he knew that even though things had seemingly ended well with Kenny, that more would come if he kept seeing Levi. Because in what world would Eren be able to get away with fucking a member of the most powerful criminal family in Trost?

God, he certainly knew how to pick ‘em.

Next week was the weekend away with Erwin, if Eren ended up deciding to go. He wanted to, god he fucking wanted to. But no matter how charming Erwin was, how honest he was with what he wanted from Eren sexually, he still couldn’t help but feel hesitant about taking the next step.

Before Levi had started to stir next to him, Eren had been left wondering if he was _already_ doing something wrong. If, despite the fact that neither Erwin nor Levi had expressed any desire for exclusivity, Eren had already screwed it up with both of them by sleeping with the other. If he’d ruined his chance with either, before he’d even had the chance to decide.

Eren had deliberately blocked his last interaction with Reiner out of his thoughts, because there was no way in hell he had the energy to tackle _that_ problem.

As Levi silently stood up beside the bed, he stretched his arms out, and Eren absentmindedly watched the muscles in his back tense. Still naked as well, Levi walked over the dresser at the side of the room, fiddling with something on the top of it. Already knowing what he was going for, Eren just watched him move, eyes tracing down his back, drinking in the stark paleness of his skin and plump ass. When he turned around again, Eren once again raked his eyes over the tattoos on his chest, drinking in every detail.

He was fucking beautiful.

When Levi returned to the bed, he was wearing his necklace again, the silver ring swaying slightly as he laid down next to Eren. Eren didn’t say anything, but couldn’t resist the urge to stretch forward and touch the metal as Levi faced him, the two of them silent in the moment.

Eventually, as Eren’s fingers moved from the ring to ghost over Levi’s chest, Levi spoke up.

“It belonged to my friend, Isabel,” Levi whispered, his voice oddly level.

When Eren glanced up at him, Levi was already staring back. His face was just as blank as usual, but Eren could see something more behind his eyes. He hadn’t expected Levi to say anything, not when he’d been so guarded in every interaction Eren had had with him so far. And even though Eren knew he shouldn’t be thinking about it now, he couldn’t help but notice once again how fucking captivating those eyes were, stunningly grey and half lidded even now.

Remembering what Annie had told him all the way back on that first night at Historia’s, Eren blinked.

“Was she the person you lost?” Eren asked back, swallowing when his voice cracked a little.

Levi was silent for a few seconds, the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall the only audible noise as Eren stroked his skin.

“One of them,” he said eventually. Without waiting to Eren to respond, Levi continued. “I grew up with her and another person, named Farlan. They-” Levi cut off, his voice seemingly giving out.

“Hey,” Eren soothed immediately, now stroking over Levi’s thin bicep. “I get it. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“They were my family,” Levi cut in, ignoring Eren’s words, but he could see the wobble of the other man’s bottom lip. “When we were kids, we… didn’t have much except each other. We grew up on the streets, and after my mother’s death I didn’t have anyone except them. My mom had turned her back on her family years before I was born, so I never knew that I had relatives growing up.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Eren said, because truthfully, he didn’t know how to respond to that. He knew Levi had had a hard life, harder than his for sure. It was clear, and explained why he was always so guarded around other people, even his closer friends. But Eren couldn’t have known just _how tough_ it was, and to hear Levi talk about it to him, so openly, made his heart break a little.

Because even though Levi hadn’t finished, Eren had a feeling he knew how the story ended.

“Three years ago, I reconnected with my uncle, Kenny, who hadn’t known I existed until then,” Levi continued, a few minutes later. In that time of silence, Eren had drawn him close, nothing too sensual but enough to give him more physical contact. “He clearly had connections with Rod Reiss, and so by pulling a few strings was able to get the three of us into the university. We had to go back to school for a formal graduation certificate first, only because Farlan convinced us that it would be for the best. T-that we could make something for ourselves. Farlan liked guys as well, so after we started here he roped Isabel and I into joining the GSA. I never really gave a shit about the whole club thing, even back in that first year.”

That explained, at least, why Levi was actually part of the club today, because Eren could’ve never seen him joining up alone as a wide-eyed freshman.

Levi didn’t seem in a rush to continue explaining, so Eren just laid with him, stroking over his skin and doing his best to let him know he was there for him. Eventually, when Levi did speak up again, Eren jolted in surprise a little.

“L-last year Farlan started to get distant. I still don’t know why, but he started spending less time with me and Isabel. It hurt Isabel a lot, because for our whole lives we’d been there for each other. But Farlan started to lie about where he was, give excuses for why he couldn’t spend time with us. At first I thought he’d gone and gotten himself a boyfriend, but now I don’t think it was that, he would’ve told us.” Levi took a deep breath. “Fuck, Eren, I still don’t know why it happened.”

By now, Levi’s voice was raspy and charged, although Eren could see he’d swallowed back the emotions he’d been dangerously close to letting lose earlier. He knew better than to speak, instead letting Levi regain his composure before finishing.

“Halfway through the semester last year, Isabel said that she’d gotten through to him, and that Farlan was going to come clean. But then he missed my birthday dinner. W-we used to pool our money to buy a cupcake for whoever’s birthday it was, when we lived on the streets. I know it sounds stupid, but it was something important to us. And I’m not going to lie, Eren. It… hurt, when he didn’t show up. But Isabel was furious, so she stormed off to drag him there, even though I told her not to.”

Another beat of silence.

“I never saw either of them again, after that.”

Fuck. Eren swallowed, his throat feeling thick. Superficially, Levi was as composed as ever, but Eren knew the raw, burning pain that was searing underneath. Without waiting for an invitation, he pulled Levi into a deep hug, meshing their naked bodies together awkwardly in the position they were in. Levi didn’t seem to mind, however, if the way he let Eren wrap his larger frame around him was any indication.

“Fuck,” Eren breathed against him. “Are the police still looking?”

Levi scoffed. “Like they give a shit. There used to be missing posters around the city, but after a few months of no one calling in, most of them had to be taken down in favour of something else. Besides, Farlan’s car was gone too, so they chalked it up to them running away, even if I knew better. I still put some posters up, though. Mostly around the building, just in case.”

“Can I-” Eren began, before stopping himself. “Do you have a picture? Of you guys?”

Levi stayed quiet for a second, before replying. “It’s private.”

Eren knew there was more to be said, more that Levi would eventually say. But for now, it was over, and when Eren finally felt Levi’s body shake in his arms and silent tears wet his shoulder, he just squeezed tighter and slinked his finger through silky black hair.

***

“We stole them, you know?”

Eren looked up, the still smoking joint dangling in his hands as he reclined into the sofa. After eventually falling asleep shortly after Levi had opened up, Eren and Levi had spent the morning together as well, not leaving the apartment in favour of staying together. After a measly breakfast of slightly stale toast (Levi forgot to buy food often, apparently), Levi had sat down in the living room and produced a bag of weed. And, well? Eren couldn’t really say no when it was offered to him.

“Huh?” He asked, his brain foggy and skin warm.

From his spot on the carpet floor, Levi tugged on the silver ring around his neck. He was naked except for a pair of tight black boxer briefs, which Eren really wanted to tear off.

“The rings,” Levi supplied. “When we were thirteen, Isabel found us a house to squat in for a few weeks while the owners were away on holidays. Still don’t know how we used to get away with it so often, I guess some people have it so good they don’t even consider getting robbed.”

Levi chuckled, which was weird to Eren, because he’d never heard the guy laugh so openly before. And while it was most probably because of the weed, the laugh wasn’t one of mirth, however, almost seeming bitter in comparison.

“They had these three rings. They were tacky as fuck, with shitty Latin inscriptions, but we took them with us at the end.”

All of a sudden, Levi pulled the necklace off his neck, and the next thing Eren knew, it was being tossed in his direction. Despite being sufficiently blazed, he managed to catch it, and finally got a chance to look at the inscription carved into it.

“_Faber est suae quisque fortunae_?” He somehow managed to read out loud, despite the fact that he couldn’t completely see straight.

“Every man is the artisan of his own fortune,” Levi supplied a second later. “Or some shit like that. The owners must’ve thought they were profound little fuckers, maybe even wanted to give them to their own little spoiled brats, but Isabel liked what it meant so she convinced us to steal them.”

Levi took a deep breath, and when Eren looked up again from the ring, he saw the other man staring down at his lap. “I don’t even know where my one is, lost it years ago I think. Farlan and Isabel kept better care of theirs though, usually wore them. That one there is hers. Isabel’s, I mean. Farlan… must’ve been wearing his when… you know.”

Eren did know, and before he could reply, Levi was standing up and crossing the room. Without waiting for a signal, he straddled Eren on the couch, gently taking the ring from him and putting it aside, before leaning in to capture Eren in a soft kiss.

When they separated a few moments later, Eren swallowed. “A-are you sure? You… that was pretty deep, and-”

“I don’t want to feel, not right now,” Levi said, cutting Eren off. He took the joint from Eren and breathed in a deep drag, before placing it on the ashtray on the coffee table nearby. And then Levi was grinding down against the pair of sweatpants Eren had slipped on and yeah, Eren was already hard. “I just want to fuck you.”

Well. Eren couldn’t really say no to that.

***

“Congrats! You must feel like you’re free!” Eren cheered into his phone, a smile blossoming on his face.

On the other end of the call, Armin laughed, and Eren couldn’t help but grin wider at the sound of it. They really didn’t talk often enough, no matter how much they had promised to keep in contact, and just to hear his friend’s laugh of all things reminded Eren of how much he missed him.

“Thanks, Eren,” Armin replied. “The last exam on litigations almost got me, but I think I did okay.”

“Please, I bet you’ll pass with a perfect score!”

As Armin protested to that, Eren rolled his eyes. He knew that over in Orvud, there were tonnes of students at Armin’s level, but to hear more of his self-deprecation still made Eren grumble a little. For all of his genius, Armin had always lacked the self-confidence to just own it, and it was clear that that still hadn’t changed.

Eren glanced around Levi’s kitchen, as Armin moved into telling him the latest in his rivalry with Marlowe. He was hungry, so started to help himself to the limited food available in the pantry, all the while listening to whatever it was Marlowe had said lately that had pissed Armin off. And honestly, Eren couldn’t help but laugh a little at it all, even if Armin did seem genuinely frustrated. Because while Marlowe did sound like a stuck-up prick, Eren was decently sure that the reason he and Armin clashed so much was because of the fact that they were both so similarly brilliant.

The sound of a door sliding caught Eren’s attention while he was reaching for a packet of chips, and he turned around to see Levi stepping in from the balcony. Having traded in the joint for an actual cigarette, Levi had stepped outside to smoke, giving Eren time to congratulate Armin on finishing his first semester at Orvud. And apart from the raised eyebrow Levi shot him (clearly not impressed at his food being stolen), he said nothing, simply wandering past Eren and into the bedroom.

“Anyway,” Armin said minutes later, as Eren lay back on the sofa. “I spoke to Mikasa this morning, before you called.”

Uh oh.

“She said you had an… interesting night last night.”

Ignoring the clear suggestion in Armin’s voice, Eren played dumb for the sake of it. “And what did she mean by that?”

Armin laughed, loud and pure, and Eren couldn’t help but chuckle along with him. “You’re a little devil, Eren. I haven’t heard Mikasa so grumpy about a guy you’ve taken home before, he must’ve really ticked her off.”

“Levi?” Eren questioned loudly, hoping the man in question could hear, “yeah, he’s a total prick. But he’s actually pretty similar to Mikasa, though.”

“Fuck off, I am not!” A yell came from the next room, and Eren could already smell more weed permeating the air once again.

“Are you still with him?” Armin asked after another laugh.

Lowering his voice again, Eren was unable to keep the small grin off his face. “… Yeah.”

They chatted aimlessly about the situation for a few more minutes, before Armin eventually brought up Mikasa again. “You should call her, though.”

“You know she’s not _actually_ angry at me, A.”

“I know! But just to check-in,” Armin shot back.

“Maybe I’ll just text her? She’s scary when she’s grumpy.”

That got another laugh from Armin, and after they moved onto organising Armin’s trip to Trost in a few weeks, Eren eventually said goodbye to his friend.

After that, he did eventually call Mikasa, and got his head bitten off as a reward for his efforts. But, as Eren suspected, she eventually brightened up, although Eren could tell that she still didn’t like Levi.

“Why would you like someone with skin that pale? And he’s so grumpy and rude all the time!”

“You know you’re just describing yourself as well, right?”

***

“Mikasa says hi,” Eren said as he wandered back into the bedroom, minutes later.

“Yeah fucking right,” Levi scoffed. “She done thinking up ways to kill me?” He waved the still lit joint in offering, but Eren shook his head to decline.

Still, he laughed as he threw himself on the bed near Levi’s feet, before running a hand over the man’s calf. “It wasn’t all her just then. I was speaking to my other friend from back home as well.”

“Armin, right?”

“Yeah,” Eren muttered stupidly, stunned Levi had remembered his name.

His surprise must have showed, because Levi arched an eyebrow while taking another drag from the joint. “Don’t look so surprised, brat. I _do _actually listen sometimes.”

“Whatever you say,” Eren shot back with a smirk, before he frowned.

He really needed to ask Levi, at least for his own peace of mind.

“Hey,” he broached, granting Levi’s attention immediately with his change of tone. When Levi looked at him in question, joint dangling from his fingers, Eren swallowed.

“This… thing,” he started, not really sure how to phrase it. “Well, I- fuck. What do you want from me? From this?”

The question had come out way too direct, and immediately Eren regretted his choice of words when Levi’s eyebrows furrowed. But before he could bury himself further with his shitty choice of words, Levi replied.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Yeager. I haven’t fallen for you or anything. You’re a good fuck, and being around you doesn’t actively make me want to punch something, but we’re not going to ride off into the sunset together.”

Well, leave it to Levi Ackerman to be direct as fuck.

“Oh,” Eren breathed back, still a little stunned. “… Good.”

Because to a degree, it was, at least if Eren continued to see Erwin. Ignoring the part of him that was slightly crestfallen to hear himself being so bluntly brushed off, Eren pushed an easy grin onto his face.

“Was just making sure, you know? I mean, when you look _this_ good, it gets annoying to bat people away left and right all the time.”

Levi swatted him for that, but Eren just laughed harder, the last of his disappointment waning in favour of the joy of getting to spend time with the other man. The complicated thoughts could come later, after Eren had worked out what he was going to do about all of this, his thing with Erwin, and the lie he’d told Bertholdt. Right now? Eren just wanted to keep feeling this good.

“Fuck off, you little shit,” Levi bit back, but there was no animosity in his voice. “You just want to keep throwing yourself at every man you can find.”

“Funny how you think you can get away with saying that, given all the stories I’ve heard about _you_!”

Eren must’ve been grinning widely, because a second later Levi was chuckling again and god, Eren loved that he got to see Levi all high and relaxed. Before he knew it, Eren was kissing his way up Levi’s body, biting the side of his chin and then taking his lips with his own. He could taste both weed and nicotine on Levi’s breath, but really all Eren was interested in in that moment was getting as much as Levi as possible.

And judging by the way Levi purred contently against Eren’s mouth, he was more than happy as well. The joint was set safely aside onto the ashtray by the bed, and then Eren was all over Levi again, laughing deliriously all the while despite the fact he hadn’t smoked since that morning. Levi’s hands found their way to his ass, slinking under the waistband of the boxers that Eren didn’t even know why he’d bothered to put back on.

“So,” Eren began as he pulled back, grinning devilishly and grinding against Levi. “When do I get to fuck you?”

Levi’s eyebrows skyrocketed, but his lips quirked as well. “What made you think that I’d let you, brat?”

“Please, you want this dick.”

That got a snort from Levi, and Eren blushed a little, because it was a really fucking cheesy line.

The topic didn’t come up again, although to be fair, Eren was quickly distracted when Levi flipped them over, before spreading Eren’s legs wide. And no sooner had Eren hooked his arms around his knees, keeping his legs against his chest, then Levi was diving in, tongue licking over Eren’s hole and making him scream.

This man was going to be the fucking end of him.

***

That Tuesday, Eren witnessed just how far the Reiss’ power went in Trost.

“Historia, you’re sister’s on TV!”

The words rang out through the GSA room, and the chatter died down as attention turned to Moblit, who was gesturing at the small TV in the corner of the room.

From where she was sitting with Jean and Ymir, Historia cheered excitedly. “Oh my god, turn it up! She’s gonna be running for mayor!”

And that got a murmur of surprise from those around her, Eren included. The young, dark-haired girl on the TV was unfamiliar to Eren, but he knew that the Reiss family was extremely powerful in Trost, and they were all ridiculously high achievers.

Apparently, Historia’s sister was no exception.

They’d caught her in the middle of her speech, but Eren could see from the news banner at the bottom of the screen that her name was Frieda Reiss. Eren assumed that she was Historia’s half-sister, as he knew that Historia herself didn’t share the same mother as the rest of her siblings.

And while Eren hadn’t heard her speak about it, he had to assume that that had been tough for Historia growing up. With a whole family that she wasn’t really a part of, apart from in blood alone.

“… promise to help our beautiful city grow and flourish,” Frieda was saying on the screen, her voice gentle but firm. “For too long, Trost has been losing its reputation as the gem of Rose district. My family has always been a part of this city, and I want to do right by them, do right by all of you, to make our city the best it can possibly be!”

The audience she was talking too applauded loudly, and around them, people were congratulating Historia on behalf of her sister. Historia herself was beaming, her radiant features lighting up the room. That same smile was mirrored on Frieda’s face, the infectious grin seemingly a family trait as the live audience hollered out her name.

All the while, Eren couldn’t help but wonder if Kenny’s claws were behind it.

***

The dorm was empty when Eren woke up on the Wednesday, which honestly surprised him. It was only just past 9am, and Jean was not known for being a morning person, especially on days he didn’t need to wake up. And today was a late start for both of them, meaning that they usually hung around the dorm and pretended to study.

But he was alone, so only 30 minutes later, Eren got bored of studying. And horny.

His mind had been wondering all morning, not just to Levi but to Erwin as well, and now that he’d had such an amazing time bottom for someone, all he could think about was what it would be like with Erwin. Which would happen, hopefully, the next weekend at the man’s beach house, if he ended up going.

And yep, he was hard.

But that was what having a college dorm was for, Eren reasoned with himself, so after abandoning his organic chemistry worksheet on his desk, he laid down on his bed and got to work.

Even as Eren was reaching for the bottle of lube he now kept in his drawer, he was brushing a finger over his hole. Because after the last week (and especially the last few nights), it was safe to say that Eren’s eyes had been opened to what he could’ve been doing for all this time.

Of course, though, Jean Kirschtein had to ruin everything.

Eren had barely inserted two of his fingers into himself before the door to the dorm was opening, and he yelped as he yanked them out. When it was just Jean that entered, he relaxed a little, as the guy had seen him naked before and done much more than that. But it was still a little embarrassing, because with his legs splayed wide and fingers dripping with lube, it was more than clear what he’d been up to.

Still, as Jean cried out and looked away (a little too dramatically if you asked him), Eren didn’t stop himself from flipping him the bird. With his lubed up finger.

“What the fuck, what happened to knocking?”

“Why the fuck are you _fingering_ yourself at 10am?” Jean shouted back, still making a show of shielding his eyes like he’d been staring into the sun, despite the fact that Eren had covered himself up with the duvet. All of a sudden, however, he stood up, looking at Eren in confusion.

“Wait. Since when do you finger yourself?”

“Since I started bottoming again,” Eren shrugged back, knowing he was being childish but still enjoying pissing Jean off. Any residual bad blood between them had by now fizzled out over the week, as it tended to do, but he still got a kick out of seeing him squirm.

“With Levi?”

Ah, so Jean _had_ been filled in by the guys.

“Maybe?” Eren shot back with a wicked grin. “You in the mood?”

“That’s-” Jean choked back in surprise, clearly put off. “We don’t usually…”

“I meant jacking off, you idiot. God, sometimes you’re as dense as a-”

“I want to.”

The interruption caught Eren off guard, and he looked up in surprise at Jean. The guy was clearly nervous, but Eren could already see a tent starting to form in the running shorts he was wearing (although why Jean was out running on a Wednesday morning, he had no idea).

When Jean seemed to realise what he’d blurted out, he spluttered and began to flush. “Um, don’t worry about-”

“Get the fuck over here, then,” Eren cut off in turn, not wanting to scare Jean off. It was almost in direct opposite to the first night they’d wanked together, when Jean had been the one to coax him out of his bed. And although Jean himself had been just as nervous that night, he’d somehow had the balls to initiate their routine, something that he’d never done before with a guy.

Oh.

Eren realised the extent of what that meant as Jean paced towards him. So as he let the other man slowly pull the duvet back off his body, Eren did his best to not sound condescending.

“Have you ever… you know, before?”

And the look in Jean’s face was all he needed to know, because of course the guy that had never had an encounter with a guy before Eren wouldn’t have fingered one before. For some reason, Eren found himself shaking his head in wonder, because how the fuck had Jean and Marco not had it on yet, when it was clear they were both into each other?

“S’okay,” Eren found himself saying, handing the bottle of lube to Jean, who’d chosen to lie down at the end of the bed, already palming himself through his shorts. “I’m already stretched a little, so just go for it.”

Jean scoffed and rolled his eyes, but Eren could see the vulnerability those eyes, as he shakily uncapped the lube and poured a generous amount over his fingers.

And when said fingers pressed against Eren’s hole, he gasped.

“Fuck, do it,” he breathed, and Jean did.

The two fingers went int without too much resistance, and Eren let out a long breath, because Jean was _inside_him, even if it was just his fingers. There was an added quality to it, different to with Levi, not better necessarily but just different. With Jean, there was a level of familiarity, because Eren had lived with this guy for seven weeks now, counted him as one of his closest friends.

Seeing the reaction he’d gotten, Jean paused, looking at Eren in concern.

“Is that… too much?”

“No, it feels fucking good,” Eren whined back, his cock already back to full hardness from where it’d softened momentarily. Bringing a hand down to wrap around himself, he twisted his wrist while biting his lip. “Keep going- scissor your fingers out a little.”

Jean followed his instruction, his face adorably focused on doing it right. Not that it was hard, and as he got to work, Eren turned his attention to jacking himself off. He wished he could’ve done Jean at the same time, but judging by the way the guy was rolling his hips against the mattress as he lay on his stomach, he was doing just fine.

“Fucking hell,” Jean breathed to himself, and Eren shivered because he could just feel the exhale on his hole. “You’re so…”

Eren assumed that he’d been about to say something complimentary, but he trailed off, and before Eren could ask why Jean was arching his fingers. Something sparked in Eren and he cried out, lifting his back off the bed as he almost came there on the spot. Jean was smirking now, a little of his bravado returning as he repeated the motion, his fingers rubbing over Eren’s prostate.

“Shit,” Eren moaned, jacking his cock faster. “Where’d you learn that?”

“I’m not a complete loser, Yeager.”

“Who gives a fuck just- Ohmygod do that again!”

Jean didn’t need telling twice, and it only took a few more moments of punishing Eren’s prostate before Eren was cumming all over himself, letting out a strangled moan as seed sprayed over his stomach and chest. As Jean slowed his fingers down to a gentle rub throughout his orgasm, Eren let out a breathless chuckle and ran his hand over his wet abs.

“That was…” he panted, looking up at the roof, “actually not that bad.”

“Oh please, I’m a natural,” Jean sneered as he withdrew his fingers. Eren let out a whine as they left him. “Just hope you showed Levi a better time than now, because that was _quick_.”

And there was the Jean Kirschtein Eren knew and hated(loved). Not bothering to fling back another insult, he just rolled to his side. “Just get the fuck up here so I can finish you off.”

He and Jean would always argue, Eren knew that. Even beyond things like Eren lying about Erwin just the other week, their fights would likely continue. Their personalities were just too similar to do otherwise. But they’d also get through it, because at the end of the day, Jean was beginning to mean more to Eren than he’d care to admit.

***

Later, after Eren and Jean had showered (separately), Eren threw out the question he’d been mulling over.

“Since when did you go running in the morning? You hate getting up early.”

And Jean had had the decency to look a little embarrassed as he replied. “Started going with Marco. He likes to run early.”

_Ohhhh._

Eren threw a smirk at Jean, cocking an eyebrow overdramatically. “You _beast_. So was it like a date, then?”

“Fuck off, okay? We’re just friends.”

“Oh, okay. So I can come with you guys next time then?”

“… You know I hate you, right?”

***

**Now.**

With the majority of the student body gathered at the main lawn for the fundraiser, Eren didn’t have too much trouble navigating through the back buildings of Trost University. He passed a few people here and there, but in the dark of night, there wasn’t much of a chance of them seeing blood on his clothes or recognising him.

Because after everything that had happened in the last week to make Eren the most recognised face on campus, the last thing he needed was to be caught covered in blood.

Eren glanced at his phone, ignoring the multitude of unread messages and instead focusing on the time. It was past 10:30 now, far too late to return to fundraiser without any explanation for where he’d been. By now, Moblit had surely sent someone else to get more alcohol, which meant that Eren had _that_ whole issue to navigate when it came time to building an alibi.

God, could Armin’s plan for their alibi even work?

It seemed crazy to him, but Armin had seemed confident enough and Eren had long since learnt not to doubt his friend’s brain. Armin was smarter than almost anyone else he’d known, and had the ability to keep calm under pressure and think with a clear head. Something which, if tonight was anything to go by, was a skill that Eren was still working on.

Rounding the corner, Eren looked up to see his dorm building in the distance. He was still a few minutes away, but at least he was making progress.

Of course, things had to go to shit just then.

As the side street he was walking on reached its end at an intersection for another road, the sound of two voices became clear. While Mikasa’s coat did a lot to cover the blood on him, Eren decided to play it safe and duck behind a parked car until they’d passed. His sore ribs ached in protest, but he ignored the pain and focused in making sure the newcomers couldn’t see him.

And thank fucking god he did.

It wasn’t until the two girls came into view just near him that Eren could actually place their voices and register what they were saying.

“Historia! Can you just stop for a second?”

Ymir was only a good few paces behind her girlfriend, but her voice was loud enough to echo out through the otherwise quiet neighbourhood. Eren tensed, ducking further behind the car and thanking his instincts.

He couldn’t see either of them from his hiding spot, but with the footsteps continuing and Historia remaining silent, Eren could only imagined she’d ignored Ymir.

“God fucking dammit, babe!” Ymir shouted a second later, and Eren peaked out from behind the car to see her grabbing Historia by the arm.

Eren silently cursed, because they were on the other side of the road by now, moving right in the direction that Eren needed to be going.

“Let me go. I’m doing this, Ymir,” Historia hissed back, almost too quiet for Eren to hear.

“Doing what? You haven’t been making any sense since you got back from seeing your Dad! What the hell did that asshole say? You know better than to believe anyth-”

“This is different,” Historia interrupted. “Look… it’s better you don’t know. Go back to the fundraiser, I’ll meet up with you later.”

She tore her arm out from Ymir’s grip, and began walking away.

“Like hell I am,” Ymir screeched, chasing after Historia. “What’s gotten into you? Don’t you trust me anymore?”

“Of course I do! I just need to talk to him, that’s all.”

“Why does it have to be right now, though?” Ymir argued back. They were harder to hear now that they were walking away from Eren. “Fuck, if no one’s seen him all night then he’s not gonna be back at his place.”

“I’ve got to try, at least. This is important…”

As they turned a corner in the distance, Historia and Ymir’s voices disappeared altogether, but Eren wasn’t focusing on that right now. Because even though he’d had that sinking feeling since first overhearing them, their direction of movement all but confirmed his fears.

Eren couldn’t go back to his dorm. Not right now at least, when Historia would be there, looking for him. And he had a crude idea what she wanted from him.

Whether it’d happened just tonight, or long before, Reiss had clearly gotten to his daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this week! A bit happened, and some plot points occurred that I've been building towards for a while now, so hopefully you guys enjoyed it. I should be good to have the next chapter up by next weekend, although it'll probably be on the Sunday rather than the Saturday.
> 
> After so long with Levi, the next chapter is gonna be a lot of Erwin instead, so anyone that's been missing him will be happy!
> 
> As always, kudos and comments go a long way towards motivating me to keep writing, and I looooove hearing the theories people have.


	12. The Professor and His Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren should’ve brought a fancier outfit.
> 
> Because it was official.
> 
> He was being wooed.
> 
> There was no other explanation, anyway, for why Erwin had insisted on taking Eren to a restaurant this classy. To why Eren was sipping away at a red wine that probably cost more than what he’d spend in a week for food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! I was blown away by the comments from everyone since I started updating again, it really motivates me to write. I'm a fair bit ahead of schedule now in terms of writing (I may or may not be in the process of writing the murder itself), so expect the weekly updates to continue!
> 
> Enjoy!

**Then. Two Weeks Ago**

As Eren walked behind Erwin towards the large, two-story house, he gasped. Because Erwin had definitely undersold this place by referring to it as a ‘beach house’.

And yeah, Eren knew that Erwin came from relatively good stocks, as far as privilege went, but it was still a shock to see the evidence right in front of him. The red cedar house stood out in stark contrast with the coastline it was perched on, the afternoon sun bathing the property in a shining light as waves crashed on the shoreline not even fifty metres away. The rhythmic slosh of water seemed almost cliché in addition to the sound of seagulls overhead, like Eren had stepped into some rom-com where he’d escaped for a weekend getaway.

Shit, that was exactly it, wasn’t it?

“Holy shit,” Eren breathed out as the path they were walking on led them to the front porch, and he got to see the house in all its glory right there.

In front of him, Erwin chuckled. “It’s impressive isn’t it.” As if sensing Eren’s question, Erwin continued. “I didn’t buy this place, it’s been in the family for several generations now. But with my father too old to travel regularly, and the rest of my extended family much further away, I’m afraid I’m the only one that gets much use from the place.”

For some reason, that answer seemed to settle Eren. Because if Erwin _had_ been rich enough alone to own a property like this, then what would that say about Eren to other people? It was bad enough that he was seeing his college professor, but to add in that the man was loaded as well? That might’ve been a bit much to handle.

He knew that, as far as this weekend went, it was the true test. At least for Erwin, it was the measure on whether he and Eren would work, or whether their initial spark would fizzle out.

God, he hoped it didn’t.

As Erwin unlocked the front door and let them in, Eren was once again in awe of the heaven he’d just walked into. The interior was incredibly spacious, which a high ceiling that was accentuated by the wall made almost entirely of windows that looked out to the sea. He could see a large designer kitchen in the far corner of the room, which had clearly been recently renovated, if Erwin’s claims about the house’s age were true.

But even now, Eren found himself a little disappointed, because he wasn’t able to share this with any of his friends. Not when he’d told them that he’d gone home to see his family. The only hiccup in that had been Mikasa, of course, in which he’d simply had to beg for her to cover for him, without any real explanation.

“I promise you that I’m not doing anything unsafe,” he’d said to her, when she’d remained sceptical. “It’s just- this guy invited me down to the coast with him. He doesn’t want anyone to know about us, and I really, really like him and want to respect that. The moment I’m allowed to tell people, you know that you’re first, right?”

And Mikasa, like the angel that she was, had agreed to roll with it.

“Just please, stay safe.”

“I’ll send you the address I’m going to,” he’d added. “Thanks, ‘Kasa. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“Really, I’m just glad that it’s not Levi again.”

Which was how he was there in that moment, because of her. And he _yearned_ to share this with her, to send her a picture of this place because it was that unreal. But he knew that it would raise too many questions about the age and profession of the nameless guy he was seeing, so he restrained himself from taking a quick snap as Eren led him to his room.

Hopefully, Eren wouldn’t be needing that room all too much.

He’d left his phone turned off in his bag, with the intention of not looking at it for the entire weekend. Erwin hadn’t asked him too, but Eren needed the break from all the drama that was his life right now.

Surprisingly, when he’d told Erwin that, the other man had smiled at him.

“That’s a great idea. In fact, I think I’ll join you in staying away from technology this weekend.”

He’d told Mikasa and Jean that he wouldn’t be contactable, of course, so that they wouldn’t worry. Mikasa hadn’t been pleased about it, but she had his location, so if there was an emergency then she’d be able to find him. And already, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“I’ve made reservations for us at a nearby restaurant, if that’s too your liking,” Erwin brought up, after Eren had put his bags away.

Eren nodded, happy to go with whatever Erwin had planned. After so many cheap dinners and fleeting coffee dates, it would be nice to go somewhere nice, where no one knew who they were.

“Sounds great. How fancy should I dress?”

***

Eren should’ve brought a fancier outfit.

Because it was official.

He was being _wooed_.

There was no other explanation, anyway, for why Erwin had insisted on taking Eren to a restaurant _this_ classy. To why Eren was sipping away at a red wine that probably cost more than what he’d spend in a week for food. Not to mention the food itself, which Eren had actually had trouble eating, he couldn’t get over how much it had cost.

He’d worn a collared shirt and chinos, which right now, felt like rags compared to what the other clientele were wearing. Thankfully, Erwin had found him a suit jacket that was his size, in the guest bedroom wardrobe of all places. He hadn’t asked who the jacket had belonged to, but he also didn’t really want to know.

Wait, was he wearing Nile Dok’s old jacket? Eren couldn’t help but shudder at the thought. Hopefully Erwin had another ex that it had belonged to, although he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing to be wishing for.

And of course, Erwin was paying, which was another issue. He felt like the night was straight out of _Pretty Woman_, except that was ridiculous because Eren actually came from a pretty well-off family, back home at least.

He felt like everyone was staring at them, staring at Eren. That they knew he didn’t belong here in this environment. Because of course, that’s what the world would think if their little tryst ever became public knowledge; that Eren was just some slutty student seeking privileges from his sugar daddy/teacher.

No matter how far Eren had come with his self-confidence, he’d still hadn’t been able to shake his worry of what other people thought.

And so he couldn’t help but swallow nervously in his seat as he looked at Erwin. Across the table from him, Erwin seemed to be without a care in the world, his eyes glistening with passion as he talked. Despite his slight level of discomfort, Eren still made sure that he was listening to the man talk about the current state of Trost University, and how he hoped to change things in the history department if he was granted tenure.

“… with an added focus on the history of international relations, I think students will be better equipped to deal with- God, I’m sorry. Here I am, talking your head off on work matters when surely there is better conversation to be had over dinner.”

“No!” Eren protested because really, he had been listening. “I enjoy listening to you talk about work. It’s no wonder everyone loves you so much. Um, the students, I mean.”

“Well,” Erwin began after a moment, hiding a small grin. “I’m glad… the students love me. I must admit, it was daunting to move to here to take this teaching position.”

“Did you always want to be a teacher?”

“Ever since I was a young boy. My father was a teacher as well, and I have to say that he inspired me at a young age to pursue a career in academia.”

Erwin was smiling as he spoke, and Eren grinned along with him. Clearly Erwin had a great deal of respect for his father, and Eren wondered if they were close still. It made him think of his father, and the… faults in their relationship. Sure, Eren respected his dad, he could see he was a great man. But as a father? Grisha Yeager had always held a level of detachment to everyone as Eren had grown up, something he knew had also been there for Zeke as well. Despite the fact he’d never really asked, it didn’t take a genius to see why Zeke was so disillusioned with their father.

If things had been different, would Eren’s life have turned out the same way?

Eren shook the thought out of his head. His dad loved him, he knew that, even if he had trouble showing his affection at times. He wasn’t Zeke, he wasn’t going to rebel against his parents in some misguided way to garner a reaction. And what had happened seven years ago, with Mikasa? That had had nothing to do with Grisha, and so Eren couldn’t even begin to blame him for that. There was no one to blame, except for those fucking monsters who had taken her in the first place.

“Eren? Is everything okay?”

With a start, Eren snapped back to reality at the sound of his own name, and realised Erwin had asked him a question. Blushing a little and rubbing the back of his neck, he apologised.

“Ah sorry, Erwin. What did you say?”

Erwin didn’t look convinced, but nonetheless continued. “I was asking if it was through the Trost GSA that you’d met Historia Reiss. I seem to remember you mentioning that you were part of the club.”

“Um, yeah,” Eren replied, a little startled at the change in topic. “Why?”

“Just pure curiosity on my part,” Erwin answered after a beat, but Eren wasn’t so sure if that was true. “I’ve met her myself once or twice, through her father of course. Since taking up my teaching position at Trost, Rod has been… something of a friend to me. Someone to confide in, especially over the last few years.”

“His other daughter’s gonna be running for mayor, right? Frieda?”

Erwin nodded, smiling almost proudly. “The Reiss family is one of the most powerful families in Trost, and for good reason. Frieda takes after her father in that regard. She’s a natural leader, and I’m certain that she can do great things for Trost.”

As Eren took another sip of his wine, he couldn’t help but think of Kenny Ackerman. Because Levi had said that Reiss was on the Ackerman’s payroll, at least partially. And if Erwin was close with Reiss, did that mean he was in some way aware or connected to those dealings?

Wait. Did Erwin know Levi?

Before Eren even had time to contemplate what that could mean, Erwin was speaking again.

“Of course, I’m confident that there will be no bias from Rod when the university board determines who is granted tenure at the university. I imagine it will be close, between Nile and myself, at least.”

“Please,” Eren replied with a laugh, any thoughts of Levi and shady business deals cast away. “Everyone knows that you’re going to get tenure, so stop trying to talk yourself down.”

Erwin chuckled, before taking another sip from his wine. “I appreciate your support, Eren, but I’m afraid it’s more complicated than that. Nile has-”

“That asshole is not getting tenure before you, okay? You _care_ about your work, and your students…”

Eren trailed off, because when he thought about the position they were in, right now, that last claim seemed a little paper-thin. But then he kicked himself, because what was he thinking? This wasn’t just some fling for Erwin, he knew it wasn’t. The man was risking everything just to do this with Eren. Erwin _did_ care for Eren, just like Eren did for him.

Right?

As if sensing the tangent Eren’s mind had gone down, Erwin swallowed. And then a hand came to rest on top of Eren’s where it lay on the table.

“I know I maybe, well, hard to decipher at times,” Erwin began clearly choosing his words carefully. “But this is real for me too, Eren. I haven’t felt this way in a long time, so don’t think for a second that this is just a game to me.”

And just like that, Eren was lost in those azure eyes again, barely afloat in the endless ocean contained in them.

With Eren unable to find any words, Erwin swallowed across from him and for the first time, looked nervous.

“… I’m hoping that you feel the same.”

The words shook something in him, and Eren knew what he needed to do. All at once his worries and fears of what any onlookers would think melted away, and he surged forward. Standing up, Eren leant across the table, barely missing Erwin’s wine glass as he pressed their lips together. And he heard the sharp intake of breath that that got from Erwin, the shock of what Eren had done taking hold.

Because right now, they weren’t a teacher and his student. They were just Erwin and Eren.

It was only a fleeting, chaste kiss, and so when Eren pulled back he did his best to plaster a confident smile on his face, one that told Erwin that he knew what he was doing.

“Does that answer your question?”

Erwin just nodded, still looking slightly shocked.

“Now, why don’t we buy another bottle of wine and head back to the house?” Eren continued, grinning evilly.

“… I already have wine,” Erwin finally muttered, managing a small smirk at last.

“Even better!”

***

The walk back to Erwin’s beach house seemed like an eternity compared to the way there, although that might’ve had something to do with the raging boner Eren had sported the entire way back. They’d walked hand-in-hand, mostly in silence as Erwin was no doubt in a similar mindset to that of Eren’s. At one point, Eren had reached down to readjust his erection, and had keenly sensed Erwin’s eyes on him the entire time.

It was only as they Erwin opened the front door to the house that it clicked, and all of a sudden Eren was jumping at him. Kissing Erwin hard and fast, he ran his hands over the man’s body, loving that he got to have the luxury of exploring Erwin at last. The suit Erwin was wearing was clearly tailored for his body, because it hugged his chest and shoulders perfectly, his biceps bulging in the sleeves. Erwin groaned against his lips, helping Eren to shrug off the borrowed jacket as they kept tonguing each other.

Eventually, Erwin pulled back from the kiss.

“I want you to undress for me, Eren.”

Not hesitating for a second, Eren did as he was told. He’d never been shy about his body, his regular workout routine keeping him fit enough to be proud of his physique. Starting with his shoes and chinos pants first (because it was hard to be sexy while taking them off), Eren whipped them off before shamelessly flexing his muscles as he pulled his shirt over his head. He was no Reiner, but Eren still put work into staying fit, and he knew it showed.

Left in only his underwear, Eren unabashedly tugged at his cock through the fabric, which was stretched tightly around his length. Erwin was clearly eyeing his body, and Eren didn’t blush a bit, instead just stretching to show off his assets.

Evidently pleased, Erwin smiled as he too removed his suit jacket. “You’re stunning, Eren. Come sit with me.”

The intent was clear, and as Erwin moved over to the nearby couch, Eren could clearly see the bulge in his trousers. Which now, after a whole two weeks of being knelt down in front of it, seemed even bigger than Eren had remembered.

And when Eren straddled Erwin and sat on his lap? It felt like he was sitting on a _fucking log_.

Unable to help himself, Eren laughed a little deliriously as he pushed down on the length. “You’re so fucking big, I can’t get over it.”

“If you’re not comfortable-”

“I want it,” Eren cut in without hesitating. “I’m just… calculating.”

And without further ado Eren set about undoing Erwin’s tie, all the while pushing his ass down onto Erwin’s cock. It felt almost domestic, him helping Erwin to undress while sitting on his lap. Painfully aware that he was almost completely naked in front of the still fully clothed Erwin, Eren hurried about pulling off his tie. He also realised that he hadn’t kissed Erwin again, not since hopping on his lap. But then again, Erwin had called himself a dominant lover. If he wanted Eren’s lips, he would take them.

Compared to everyone else he’d been attracted to, Erwin was something else entirely. Even Levi, with all his growl and cynicism, wasn’t unattainable the way Erwin was, or had been up until recently. This was Eren’s _college professor_, who through some fantasy-come-true was letting Eren do this to him, letting him feel him this way. It made Eren light-headed, to think about what this meant.

Eren turned his attention to the button-down shirt in front of him, all the while gyrating his still underwear-clothed ass over Erwin’s cock. The movement was sexual, clearly, but the earlier desperate hunger from him was gone. Eren could read Erwin’s mood enough to know that the older man didn’t want a frantic whore, not at the moment at least. He wanted something slow, something _intimate_, and Eren was more than ready to give him just that.

There would be time for begging and rampant fucking later, hopefully. For now, it was time to explore.

Finally, Eren finished with Erwin’s buttons, and pulled the shirt to either side of Erwin’s body, biting back a moan as he did so. Erwin’s chest and stomach were perfectly sculpted and dusted with thick blonde hairs. His physique was stunning, familiar to Eren from that day together in the gym, but now he had it all to himself. God, Eren wanted to bite his chest so fucking much, but for now just settled for running his hands over the man’s body. His splayed fingers eventually came to rest over Erwin’s pecs, before Eren looked up at Erwin again.

“I want you to fuck me tonight.”

He’d known that fact since before he’d arrived, but finally seeing Erwin’s naked form allowed him to put thoughts into words. Eren could sense how dangerous this was, with him feeling a rich, thick intoxication for the older man. Fuck, he was so far under Erwin’s spell, the man could’ve done whatever he wanted to him right then and there and Eren would’ve allowed it.

Instead of replying immediately, Erwin stayed quiet and to Eren’s surprise, brought a hand to his lips. Ready for anything, Eren let the man probe past his lips, with one thick finger entering to rest on his tongue. Eren moaned around the finger, grinding down harder on Erwin’s cock, lathing the digit with as much saliva as he could. If Erwin wanted his mouth than holy fuck, Eren would give it and more, anything to keep the man wanting him.

When Erwin finally withdrew his finger, Eren bit his lip. “Do it.”

And just like that, Erwin’s wet finger was descending down his back, under the waistband of his underwear and without a moment’s pause, slipping inside him. Eren cried out loudly at the burn of the digit inside him, ridiculously thick even with his spit as lube. Erwin didn’t slow down, sliding in down to the knuckle as Eren stifled a scream.

Of course, Eren had cleaned and prepped himself before leaving, hoping against hope that this would happen. But god, even Erwin’s fingers were thick.

He couldn’t afford to fuck this up, not even slightly. If Erwin wanted him this way, then Eren would fight through the pain, no matter what. There was pleasure, even then as Erwin brushed against his prostate, spiking through the searing stretch and making Eren gasp against the older man’s shoulder. But fucking hell, the way Erwin stared at him, silently hungry and forceful and dangerous. This is what he desired from him, and even through his blood ringing in his ears and vision going foggy from delirium, Eren was ready to give it.

He was terrified as fuck, but so, so ready.

“Fu- _sir_.” The words slipped out before Eren could think twice, and he could see the pupils widen in those azure eyes. Any chance Eren had to worry about the choice of words was lost as Erwin finally recaptured his lips, forcing himself onto Eren’s mouth with enough force to _hurt_. The finger inside him twisted, almost completely dry by now, but it just surged them on, Eren rocking back on it and panting into the older man as he bit down on Eren’s lip hard enough to draw blood.

He was sooo fucking screwed.

All of a sudden, Erwin was withdrawing the finger from Eren’s hole, and before he could react he was grasping Eren by his ass and holding him tight as he stood up. Eren moaned into the continued kiss, still trying to grind down on him despite Erwin’s efforts to move them to the bedroom. He could feel Erwin’s cock against his own and fuck, he needed it.

Eren was still wearing his underwear, so when he was placed on the bed in Erwin’s room, he ripped the last garment away without a second thought. Erwin himself was still partially dressed, his shirt dangling from his shoulders and his suit pants and shoes still on, so it took a little longer for him to undress.

But when he did, Eren grinned.

“Fuck me, you’re so hot,” he couldn’t help but babble, aware of how much like a frat boy he sounded.

Finally free Erwin’s cock was half-hard, and looked huge dangling between his legs. It was thick, thicker than Eren had thought, and had a carefully-trimmed dusting of blonde pubes at the base. And as Erwin moved onto the bed beside Eren, he ran his hands over the man’s body, feeling his sculpted muscles. Sure, Eren had had his chance to admire Erwin moments before, but he could’ve done so forever, so much so that Eren was already stroking over the hairs on his chest as they kissed again.

A hand came to rest in Eren’s hair, reminding him who was in charge. Because while Eren might’ve had Erwin on the backfoot as they’d left the restaurant, the authority usually displayed by him was now back in full-force. Erwin had warned Eren that he was dominant, and right now as he took control of the kiss, licking into Eren’s mouth and holding his head still, it was clearer than ever.

Eventually, Erwin pulled back, his hand still slinked through Eren’s hair.

“I meant it, I’m ready,” Eren panted, already out of breath.

Erwin didn’t have to ask what he meant. They both knew it.

“Are you sure?” Erwin asked, and Eren nearly screamed.

“Yes! I don’t want you to hold back on me, I’m not fragile.”

Before Eren could say anything else, Erwin was moving Eren as if he weighed nothing, repositioning him to be flipped on his stomach, ass up. Fingers dragged down his bare back, blunt nails scraping on the skin before coming to rest at Eren’s cheeks. Turning his head to look behind himself, Eren could see Erwin’s eyes glued onto his ass. Erwin breathed in hard once, then twice.

Eren felt so exposed in the best way, naked and vulnerable and at Erwin’s complete mercy.

Moments later, he felt his ass being squeezed by Erwin’s hands, causing him to groan. Unable to take the lack of stimulation any longer, Eren rutted uselessly against the mattress beneath him, trying desperately to get some level of friction on his straining cock. As he heard Erwin tutting condescendingly behind him, making Eren huff in annoyance.

“Fuck, Erwin. Just do it, _please_.”

When Erwin didn’t move, Eren turned again, only to see the other man stroking his cock, still only half-hard. And fuck, it was already bigger than Eren’s, and Erwin wasn’t even fully there yet. But Eren had known that and despite himself he shivered in anticipation for the stretch that it would require from him.

God, he hoped his endless stretching (and fucking with Levi) had prepared him enough.

Eren stayed on his front, and before long he heard the lube being uncapped and then a pair of wet, cold fingers were pressing between his cheeks. Erwin didn’t penetrate into him straight away, instead running the pad of his fingers over Eren’s hole, massaging it and warming up the liquid. The sensation of it all made Eren shudder, and he could feel the muscles of his hole clenching and relaxing in response to the feeling. Another hand, much warmer, ran over the muscle of his left ass cheek, and Eren swallowed down a groan as the hand massaged his skin, fingers digging in in all the right places.

“You have the prettiest hole, Eren,” Erwin crooned, the ridiculously filthy words making Eren burn bright red and rut against the mattress again.

Because _Erwin Smith_ just told him he had a pretty asshole, what the fuck was his life?

One of the two fingers pressed against his hole then, and Eren forced himself to relax. He grunted needily, and a second later Erwin’s finger was slipping into him. In all honesty, once they were lubed up, Erwin’s fingers wasn’t too much of a stretch, with him already being used to taking far larger intrusions over the past few weeks. Erwin seemed to sense the ease in which Eren took it, because a moment later the second of Erwin’s fingers joined the first inside him. He could feel the walls of his ass squeezing the man’s fingers, his muscles contracting firmly around the digits.

“How do you feel, Eren?”

Eren nodded insistently at Erwin’s question. “Yeah, fuck, it’s good. So good, oh my god. Just fuck me, yeah?”

Instead of agreeing, Erwin chuckled. “We both know that you’ll need more than that.”

Which was true. It was goddamn scary, how Eren lost his entire resolve and sense of preservation the moment the slightest bit of stimulation arose. It’d happened with Reiner, when he’d been convinced into fucking raw, and now here, where if Erwin hadn’t been as well controlled as he was, Eren would’ve been in trouble.

“Just relax, I’ve got you,” Erwin continued, his words both reassuring and endlessly dominating at the same time.

Eren felt his groans become a little louder as his hole was stretched, fingers spreading him outwards in preparation for what was to come. Eren could feel himself relaxing as time went on. While Erwin’s fingers weren’t reaching deep enough to touch his prostate, the feeling of himself being stretched still felt good, familiar even, making him feel warm and fuzzy and making cock strain harder against the bed.

At the same time, Erwin’s other hand wondered around from its spot at Eren’s ass, dipping down between his legs to fondle at his balls before finally wrapping around his cock. Eren couldn’t stop the soft whimper from leaving his mouth, because fucking finally. Erwin didn’t jerk him hard, just enough for Eren to not feel like he would combust from his cock being ignored. And it felt so good, the combination of him being jerked off and stretched out at the same time.

When the third finger was added, Eren really began to feel the burn. He could feel the pain set in, making him grunt heavily. But he wanted it, craved it even, and when Erwin leant over him, Eren looked back, their lips connecting in a heavy, rough kiss that was nearly all teeth and tongue. The three fingers moved in deeper into him, and Eren’s breath hitched as he felt them brush his prostate. Fuck, he needed it, he needed Erwin’s cock now.

So he broke off the kiss. “Now, _god Erwin_.”

To his surprise (and relief) Erwin withdrew his fingers, and Eren rolled over.

“It will hurt,” he pressed, again.

“Hurt me good, then.”

And the darkness that clouded Erwin’s eyes at those words should’ve been worrying, but Eren was too hyped up on everything to care. Which was how, after rolling the XXL condom onto Erwin’s cock, Eren found himself straddling the man and feeling the blunt force slide between his cheeks and rest against his hole.

Shit, it felt as big as a fucking _fist_.

Again, Eren should’ve been a bit concerned when, after pushing down against the him, Erwin’s cock still didn’t slip in. He bit his bottom lip in exertion, feeling his forehead crinkle as he tried to gyrate against the head. Erwin seemed as composed as ever, but Eren could see the weakness there, ready for him to exploit if he could just _get this fucking cock insi-_

“Oh god,” Eren whimpered, because finally, his hole was letting Erwin in.

The burn was there, alright. Maybe not quite as painful as he’d worried, but that was in part due to his overactive imagination. Still, Eren grunted in discomfort as he slowly slid Erwin in, his body quivering despite itself. It took a lot of self-control not to pull off, Eren instead forcing himself to sit further down, his thighs shaking and teeth clenching.

Large, calloused hands stroked over his hips, never touching his cock but getting goddamn close.

“You’re amazing, Eren.”

“Shit, oh,” he couldn’t help but groan in return as he felt himself stretch further, his walls squeezing around the cock. And fuck, now Eren was sweating, perspiration running down his face, his body shaking slightly. But god, was the feeling addicting, just being stretched so open, feeling so raw as he was practically split in half on Erwin’s dick.

It felt the air was being _pushed_ out of him by Erwin’s cock.

Below him, Erwin tilted his head back, eyes clenching as his hips lifted off the mattress. And while that made him slip further in, making Eren feel like he’d been stabbed through to the stomach, at least he’d finally gotten some kind of reaction from Erwin. Erwin didn’t offer an apology for his rushed manoeuvre, but Eren also didn’t really want one.

Eventually, Eren was able to sink down all the way, his ass sitting on Erwin’s hips. And fucking hell, it was like he had a pillar inside him, the way his body didn’t seem to comprehend it. Absently, Eren ran a hand over his own abs, half-expecting in his deliriousness to feel a bulge there. But his abs were as flat as ever, giving no sign of the intrusion currently pulling his brain apart from within itself.

He didn’t dare move, instead just sitting there, waiting for his body to adjust, to stop sending chaotic signals to his brain. His head felt fuzzy, his thoughts were in a far-off place, but at last he began to settle in. Erwin’s cock was not only the longest, but also the widest he’d ever taken. And Erwin’s mouth was now open, another sign of not just acknowledgement but _pleasure_.

Or maybe it was pain, given how hard Eren was clenching around him.

Erwin’s hands made their way up to his waist, cupping him and massaging his clenched muscles.

“You’ve done so well, Eren. The pain will fade, but for now just relax.”

Eren didn’t want to relax, though. He wanted to get fucked.

But he restrained himself from moving, knowing his body would thank him for it in due time. Erwin was clearly using every ounce of his willpower to control himself, and so the very least Eren could do was to help them both.

Still, he needed to do something in the meantime.

Which was how Eren ended up leaning forward, wincing a little as Erwin’s cock shifted in his ass. Before Erwin could react, Eren bit his bottom lip, hard, before deepening it into a long, filthy kiss. It only took a second before Erwin was taking control, just how Eren had wanted it, and then they were off. Teeth clashing against each other, tongue slipping passed Eren’s lips and invading his mouth, practically licking his tonsils.

Erwin’s hands had slinked through Eren’s hair in the meantime, fingers curled tightly and pulling. Eren whined into the kiss as Erwin pulled hard, to the point where the pain was almost as harsh at the one in his ass. Teeth bit down on Eren’s lip this time, nearly hard enough to draw blood, and when Erwin pulled back there was a fucking _deadly_ look in his eyes.

God, what was Eren doing?

“Tell me what you want, sir,” Eren said instead, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could react. “I’ll do it all, I promise, just want more.”

It was only when Erwin’s chest started to rise and fall drastically that Eren realised he’d been grinding back and forth on him, the massive cock inside him already slipping in and out.

“I’m ready,” he continued, more begging than anything by now. “Take me rough, Erwin baby, I’m so fucking ready.”

Erwin’s eyes bore into his for what seemed like ages, and Eren knew he looked like a wreck, but also knew that Erwin loved that. When Erwin did respond, his voice sounded alien. “You better be sure. I won’t hold back.”

And Eren didn’t know where the bravado had come from, but all of a sudden he was putting a hand onto Erwin’s neck and pressing down.

“All you’ve done is tell me how much it’s gonna hurt, warn me how dangerous you are, over and over again. Fucking. Prove. It.”

Even looking back on it, Eren would swear that he witnessed the moment it clicked for Erwin, the moment things just switched, and then all of a sudden Erwin’s hands were leaving his hair. Fingers grasped Eren’s hips, and then they were flipping, Erwin staying rooted inside his ass the entire time as Eren ended up on his back, Erwin’s hulking frame over him.

Then he was moving, pulling back before thrusting right back in. The thrust was so sudden and so forceful that Eren swore the air made a sound as it left his lungs, but before he could breathe it back in Erwin was off, hips smacking against Eren’s ass in a rhythmic smack that sent Eren’s mind spiralling out of control. And Eren had asked for this, begged for it, so all he could do there was lie back and scream as Erwin assaulted his hole, slamming into him with enough force to shake the entire foundation of Eren’s mind, let along the bed beneath them.

“Oh… my…” Eren wasn’t even able to finish his sentence, there was no air left inside his lungs. Instead, his mouth just hung open, his jaw slack in the shock of the attack on his senses.

Clenching his eyes shut, Eren moaned loudly again as sparks danced across the back of his eyelids.

Deliriously, Eren’s brought a hand up Erwin’s pec, as if to make sure he was still there while he closed his eyes, basking in the feeling. Erwin’s grunts were coming deeper and faster now, in time with his thrusts as his cock split Eren apart. Eren could feel the walls of his body gripping Erwin like a vice, and he squeezed harder, being rewarded with a long, strangled groan from his lover.

“Oh, fuck,” was all that he managed to breathe as Erwin sped up his rhythm, hips smacking against Eren’s harder and more violently as the seconds passed. Eren could only lie there and take it, relishing in the feeling of Erwin’s spare hand running up his body until it was at his mouth.

Eren barely registered the two fingers that slipped into his open mouth, hooking onto his jaw like a handhold as he lay there in a silent scream. Eventually, Eren regained enough composure to close his mouth and suck on Erwin’s fingers, licking between them with his tongue as Erwin continued to fuck him. Finally opening his eyes again, Eren nearly cried out when he saw the look of _complete fucking power_ on Erwin’s face. He drank it up like his life depended on it, his moans becoming higher in pitch as Erwin went in even deeper.

“Eren,” Erwin growled, and Eren felt something inside him flutter.

Their relationship had been unique from the start, that fateful day all those weeks ago leading right up to this moment, the moment Eren let his mental walls crumble as Erwin pistoned into him, over and over again. It was scary, but Eren couldn’t give a flying fuck, not so long as Erwin was by his side, fucking him for all he was worth. He grunted around Erwin’s fingers, sucking them harder and feeling the thrill of excitement when Erwin’s mouth dropped open.

All of a sudden, Erwin leant down, pulling his fingers out and moving so that his mouth was inches away from Eren’s. His breath was hot against Eren’s face, and Eren just panted, staring him deep in the eyes. He pulled Erwin down the rest of the way, crashing their lips together as he continued to fuck him into the bed. The force of the whole thing was enormous, and distantly Eren wondered if the bed would give under their combined force.

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to care, instead letting Erwin kiss along his neck as he went. Eren spread his legs wider and higher, watching as they bounced up and down on Erwin’s shoulders. He could feel Erwin attacking his neck and shoulder with his lips and tongue, and grunted at the sensation, all the while feeling like he was being speared right through with each of Erwin’s thrusts.

Erwin bent down further, so that Eren himself was almost folded in half, and he could feel the stretch in his hamstrings as Erwin pressed him down further still. By the time Erwin was lying flat over his stomach, Eren’s ankles were up above his own shoulders, and his brought a hand up on each side to hook around them, holding himself in that position. His cock, which hadn’t been touched since he’d sat down on Erwin’s cock, felt like it was about to explode, and Eren knew that despite the lack of direct stimulation, he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Fuck me,” he breathed softly, before repeating it much louder. “Fuck me harder, Erwin. Do it, just take me and own me I fucking want to be yours…”

He was speaking gibberish, but it was a bunch of babble that Erwin obviously seemed to love.

And he did just that, now using his free hands to support himself on the ground either side of Eren, so that he could pound up and down at a much harder and faster rate. Eren could hear his moans descending into screams, the white-hot fire of pleasure in his stomach spreading through him as Erwin practically ripped him open with each thrust. He was aware that he was screaming openly and loudly now, to the point that if they hadn’t been in a private beach house, someone would’ve surely heard.

Eren’s stomach fluttered again, and knew that he was close, only needing a little more stimulation to send him over the edge. His cock was practically weeping between their bodies, the continuous friction of Erwin’s skin against his more than enough to bring him off.

When Erwin leant down again to kiss and nip at Eren’s neck, something primal took over him, and Eren pushed Erwin’s head harder into the crook of shoulder.

“Bite me,” he heard himself saying, shocking himself. “Fucking bite me, do it!”

Erwin didn’t need any more instruction, as he leant back down to where he’d been teasing Eren’s neck earlier, only to clamp his teeth down on the flesh, hard. The scream that left Eren’s lips sounded ear splitting to him, and in a violent rush he was cumming, spraying his seed between their bodies, coating their stomachs and chests with spurt after spurt.

The groan into his neck from Erwin was raw and animalistic, and a moment later Eren felt his thrusts become erratic and staggered, and knew the man was cumming into the condom. Erwin came long and hard, and Eren held him all the way through it, still breathless and shaking from his own orgasm. His neck burned like a searing fire from where Erwin had bit into him, making Eren whimper from the pain. It made the whole thing that much better, and Eren groaned, his head falling back against the ground.

For what seemed like an eternity, Erwin was still against him, only the rise and fall of their chests against each other showing any sign of movement. But then he was pulling out, and the whine that left Eren’s lips might’ve sound long and pathetic, but he knew that to Erwin it was perfect. He could feel cold air against his hole as he finally unhooked his legs, stretching out his cramped muscles while still lying flat on his back.

“Oh my god,” Eren panted, his eyes drooping closed from exhaustion. “I think you killed me.”

Erwin didn’t immediately reply, instead staying silent as he rolled over to lay beside Eren. Eventually, however, he looked Eren in the eyes, and when he did a look of pure adoration crossed his face.

“… I underestimated you, Eren. You’re dangerous, and I think we’re going to have some fun together.”

And yeah, that was the understatement of the century.

***

**Now.**

A few seconds after Eren knocked, the door to Reiner and Bertholdt’s apartment opened, with a scowling Levi standing in front of him.

“Why the fuck are you still covered in blood? Your friend said that-”

“Yeah well, plans change,” Eren interrupted, shouldering past him and into the apartment, which was now spotless. Eren had figured it would be in good shape, considering who Levi had gotten on board to help, but it was still jarring to not see any traces of the pool of blood that had been there only an hour earlier.

Inside, Mikasa and Armin were already there, looking tense but otherwise fine.

Upon seeing the state that he was in, Armin’s brow furrowed. “What happened?”

“Historia and Ymir were at my building, looking for me. No way I could get in without being caught.”

“Why were they looking for you?” Mikasa asked.

“I don’t know, but it’s not important right now. Where’s Sasha?”

“She’s passed out in the guest room,” Armin replied. “There’s no way she’s waking up anytime soon.”

Eren nodded, even if he didn’t like it. The sooner they could get her back to someone else who wasn’t actively trying to cover up a murder, the better. Still, he swallowed thickly and continued.

“Can the plan still work?” He asked, gesturing at his stained clothes.

Armin looked at him in silence for a few seconds, before his eyes lit up. “Yes. Actually, this I think this still works out perfectly. Your jeans are dark, so you can’t really see the blood. And Levi, can you give Eren your shirt if he showers here?”

From where he was leaning against his kitchen bench, Levi arched an eyebrow. He’d clearly managed to regain his bearings since Eren had seen him last, and with him freshly cleaned and changed, there was no indication at all that he’d been handling a dead body earlier that night. The bruises around Levi’s neck had darkened considerably now, and stood out in stark contrast to his pale skin.

“You think that fat piece of shit is fitting in my clothes? And what the fuck will I wear?”

And yeah, that was kind of a good point. With Eren being slightly taller than Levi, and a fair bit more muscular, anything of his that he wore would look conspicuously tight.

But Armin was already shaking his head. “That’s the whole idea. Think about it, if Eren shows back up to the fundraiser in an outfit that’s so out of place, everyone will remember it and therefore will remember him being there. And if it’s Levi’s shirt, then where will people think he’s been until now?”

The silence hung in the air for a few seconds, before Levi swore.

“No way. Our alibi is not that we were _fucking_. No one will buy that.”

“I think they might,” Armin answered, still as level-headed as ever. “It gives a reason for you both to be gone for so long, and for why neither if you were answering your phones. And from what I’ve heard, it won’t exactly be odd behaviour for Eren.”

Eren just stayed silent, having heard this all from Armin earlier. As embarrassing as it was, the idea _did_ work, if only on the basis that Eren’s reputation was by now well-established.

“Yeah, I get it. Kid’s a slut,” Levi scoffed. “But I’m not announcing to the entire campus that I fucked him.”

“Would you rather tell them that you murdered someone?”

The reply didn’t come from Armin, but from Mikasa, who until now had stayed mostly quiet. Levi went to argue back, but she continued.

“I don’t like this anymore than you do, _Ackerman_,” she hissed, the disdain clear in her voice. “But Armin’s plan is solid. You just need to sell it when you get there, so suck it up and pull your weight.”

Levi just stared at her, his face unreadable, before eventually responding.

“Fine. But what am I meant to be wearing?”

“Just find something of Bertholdt’s, it should fit you,” Eren suggested. When Levi looked ready to argue, he hurriedly continued. “Zip your jacket up over it, though. No one will notice if it’s a little big on you. Like Armin said, it’s more important that people see me in your clothes.”

Levi didn’t look happy, but after a second grumbled and disappeared into Reiner and Bertholdt’s room, no doubt searching for something he deemed acceptable to wear.

But then another thought crossed his mind, and he turned to Mikasa and Armin.

“Have you worked out where we’re taking… you know?”

“The body?” Armin confirmed, before smiling confidently. And god, Eren was so fucking glad he was here to keep them together. “Don’t worry, Levi had an idea for that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this one. Eren and Erwin finally did the nasty! And I think the flash-forward has the first direct EMA interaction, although there'll be plenty more to come once Armin actually arrives in real time. The next chapter's going to be a continuation of this weekend, so expect more Eren/Erwin fun times. It'll be heavy on the smut, but some major plot points are about to start kicking in so expect the smut to lessen a bit after that.
> 
> As always, comment and kudos make my week, and I try to respond to everyone. See ya'll next week!
> 
> Edit: The amazing Gaarasslave has done some awesome fan art inspired this chapter, please check them out!
> 
> https://twitter.com/gaarasslave/status/1333246497618538498/photo/1


	13. 1 Day, 9 Hours and 42 Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rmphhh. What’re you doing? I’m trying to sleep here.” Eren grumbled.
> 
> “I just realised that I didn’t load and run the dishwasher. I’m just going to go stack-”
> 
> Eren groaned. “Nope, you need to sleep. We’ll do it in the morning.”
> 
> “But we’ll have more dirty dishes by then, and-”
> 
> “Sleeeeep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, I'm baack! And this chapters a big fucker, almost 10K long. A lot of which is smut, and I'm not even slightly sorry XD
> 
> In all seriousness though, I'm putting a TRIGGER WARNING here: for elements of BDSM, under-negotiated kinks and pretty rough sex. Everything is consensual though, it always will be with what I write. But I just wanted to put this here, as I know for some people it can be confronting if there's no warning otherwise.
> 
> As far as plot goes, there is some in between the sex, as we creep closer to the time of the murder. This is also one of the last bits of smut I'll write before we catch up to the flash forwards (there's one more little one coming at some point, but that's about it for now). Like I said, the plot's gonna ramp up now!
> 
> Enjoy!!!

**Then. Two Weeks Ago**

**Saturday, 9:07am**

Eren woke to fingers probing at his ass.

As he tiredly blinked his eyes open, Eren grinned lazily, because Erwin was mouthing at the back of his neck with his teeth. His body still felt like a wreck from last night, but Eren was more than eager to grind back against Erwin’s hand and cock, letting the other man feel between his cheeks and over his hole as they lay together.

“Morning,” Erwin crooned, several minutes later after they pulled away.

Eren just nuzzled further into the crook of his shoulder. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know. And I don’t care, because we don’t have anywhere to be.”

Erwin rolled Eren onto his back after that, and before he could react Erwin was shuffling around to pull his legs apart. By the time Erwin’s tongue lapped over his hole, Eren was groaning loudly, tugging at his cock as Erwin went to town below. Erwin’s hair was adorably messy from sleep, and Eren slinked his fingers through it as Erwin licked him out, tongue flicking over his hole.

“Fuck,” Eren breathed, looking up at the roof as he basked in the feeling. “You’re so fucking good at that.”

Erwin hummed contently beneath him, making Eren shout louder.

***

**Saturday, 10:52am**

“I have something for you,” Erwin said, after they’d finally gotten out of bed and made a lazy breakfast.

At least, Erwin had called it a lazy breakfast. Having just devoured several eggs, bacon, tomato, mushrooms and more, Eren was kind of curious to know what Erwin considered a not-lazy breakfast, but then he was distracted by the small box being placed in front of him.

“Open it,” was all Erwin said when Eren cocked an eyebrow.

He did as asked, and was surprised to see a thin, black leather band inside. At first, Eren thought it was a bracelet of some kind, but it was too wide for his wrist. And then his eyes widened, because that was a collar sitting before him.

“Wha…”

“You only have to wear it if you’re comfortable with it, Eren,” Erwin cut in, looking deeply serious. “I don’t want you to think for a second that you’re just some plaything to me. If anything, you’re the complete opposite, because I would never share this side of me with someone I didn’t trust and care for.”

The words rolled over him, but Eren wasn’t listening. He’d already known what Erwin was saying to him, and while he appreciated the sentiment, he was too busy staring at the collar in front of him. His heart was thumping now, just the sight of the piece of leather doing something to him that he couldn’t describe or pinpoint.

And when Eren let his fingers drag over the leather, he shivered in both anticipation and excitement.

God, he was so fucking screwed.

***

**Saturday, 12:18pm**

“Not bad, Eren.”

Hands fisted hard in Eren’s hair, forcefully shoving him further and further down. His tongue was pressed flat against the bottom of his jaw, the massive intrusion sliding over it and pressing against the back of his throat. And despite the thickness of the cock he was gurgling around, Eren somehow managed to keep his composure, even if his jaw was straining and his lips burning from the wide stretch.

Eren could feel the collar squeezing tightly around his neck as Erwin stared down at him from above.

If Eren had thought the collar did something for him, he’d been completely taken by surprise by Erwin when he’d put it on. Because his eyes had clouded over with _something_, and just like Eren was ready to do anything the man wanted of him.

Of course, there’d been the thorough discussion as to what Eren could expect from Erwin, and assurance that he could stop at any time. But despite the safeword he’d chosen, and the repeated warnings Erwin had given, Eren just knew that he’d never tell the man to stop.

And so, as the hands on his head pushed down once more, Eren again gagged loudly but righted himself so that he didn’t have to pull off, instead continuing to deepthroat Erwin. And once again, Eren was reminded as to just how _big_ Erwin was. The very fact that he was lodged in Eren’s throat, yet Eren was nowhere near close to the base of his cock, was still a little surreal, and it left Eren salivating messily around the girth.

The seconds dragged on, to the point that Eren had to eventually push back up. Erwin’s hands forced him down for one more terrifying second, and it was only when Eren had an instantaneous moment of panic that he relented. Eren pulled off hurriedly, gasping loudly as he did so with a long, messy string of spit dangling from his chin.

And god, that had been rougher than Eren had expected. Sure, Erwin had given him due warning earlier, to the point that Eren had no grounds to say he’d been blindsided. But it was still jarring, to see this new side of his professor, one that had clearly been always there, brimming under the surface of his otherwise carefully constructed façade.

Erwin opened his mouth, and despite himself, Eren expected an apology. For Erwin to say that he would hold back the next time.

But instead, Erwin just said, “Watch the teeth next time, Eren.”

Shit, Eren was a mess. He hadn’t even realised he’d been grazing Erwin, although with a dick that thick, it was hard not to when it filled up his entire mouth. But there was a fucked-up part of Eren, a part that had been damaged for years now, that preened at the clear condescension in the man’s tone and oh fuck, Eren was in dangerous waters.

Because for some reason, the criticism had Eren’s heart racing even faster, even though it was already pounding in his chest from just how crazy this all was.

With Erwin towering above him, Eren became distinctly aware of the scrape of his knees against the hardwood floor.

Eren was still gasping for air by the time Erwin was guiding him back to his cock. All the while, the black leather collar squeezed him tighter.

The hands in his hair weren’t any gentler this time. But that was all Eren wanted right now, to be used and pulled and hurt in order to get Erwin off.

So, he worked Erwin deeper and deeper into his mouth, feeling it push against the back of his mouth before finally slipping into his throat again. Despite the fact that Erwin’s cock barely fit in his mouth, Eren did his best to cover his teeth with his lips, a good amount of saliva spilling out in the process. He could feel it dripping down Erwin’s dick, wetting against his chin as he messily sucked Erwin off. And Eren knew he must look like a mess, covered in his own drool, eyes watering and cheeks flushed red, but he couldn’t really care because he just needed to keep doing this, to keep swallowing Erwin down.

When Erwin did speak above him, it was such a shock that Eren almost didn’t register that was being said.

“I’m going to use your mouth now, Eren. And when I’m done, I’ll finish on your face.”

It wasn’t a question, and Erwin’s fingers scrunched through Eren’s hair, before using it as leverage to move him up and down. The tugs were deliberately erratic, with some thrusts not giving Eren the chance to suck in more air. But he took in what he could, seeing fuzzy blackness at the edges of his vision for only a second before he was finally granted more oxygen. He was sure that his throat would be destroyed by this, that his voice would be raspy for hours. But instead of worrying about it, Eren welcomed the idea. Let himself be ravaged by the other man. He wanted it.

Feeling his own cock hard as a rock, Eren whined desperately around Erwin’s cock, even as the sound became a hiccup from the stab in the back of his throat. He felt small, so fucking needy and used, and loved every second of it.

And just when Eren was sure he’d have to pull off again, that he wouldn’t be able to take any more, Erwin was doing it for him. Before Eren could react, warm cum splattered over his lips and nose as Erwin came. Eren moaned uselessly, sticking out his tongue to at last taste Erwin’s seed. Another spurt landed on his right eyelid, and even as it burned, Eren squeezed his eyes shut, intent on getting every last drop from the professor.

Because as long as he kept getting to feel like this? Eren would gladly keep that collar on.

***

**Saturday, 1:35pm**

Erwin didn’t let Eren clean the drying cum off his face until _after_ lunch. And even then, only after he’d spread Eren out on the dining table and fingered him till Eren had cum all over himself.

***

**Saturday, 2:22pm**

The collar didn’t come off, not even when Erwin had to take a call for work that afternoon.

As he started the call, Eren dutifully unzipped his pants, before pulling them down along with the underwear underneath. Erwin’s long cock flopped out, only half-hard but looking as monstrous and tempting as it’d ever been. Eren couldn’t stop his tongue from performing one long lick, all the way from the base to the tip, before engulfing the head in his mouth.

He was getting better at fitting Erwin in, at least so that it didn’t fucking kill his jaw each time. Eren suckled at it lusciously, feeling it between his lips as Erwin’s cock hardened further. It was a feeling like no other, feeling a cock swell inside his mouth, feeling the blood pump harder and more frequent and all because of him.

For his part, Erwin hadn’t reacted to Eren’s ministrations, and continued to talk on the phone in an even tone. He didn’t pay attention to what the older man was saying, but Eren did pick up on a few words here and there, and gathered that Erwin was talking to one of his colleagues. But that wasn’t his problem, and so Eren just ducked his head down further, slathering Erwin’s cock with his tongue and swirling it around.

And even with Eren’s best efforts, Erwin didn’t miss a beat in his conversation. There were no strangled gasps or pitched voices. In fact, the only sign that the man had even registered Eren’s presence on his cock was the fact that his free hand was curled tight around the dark locks of Eren’s hair, tugging on them every now and then. Eren had given many a blowjob and was confident in his abilities to make a man squirm using only his tongue, so all in all, he was impressed with Erwin’s self-control. The collar felt tight around his neck, almost feeling like it was choking him, even when Eren knew the feeling was only in his head.

The whole thing made Eren even harder, a combination of the fact that he was sucking Erwin off and that Erwin apparently didn’t seem to care. It was so degrading in the best way, to be used by the man for his pleasure, and to receive barely any indication that he was doing a good job in return. He was a pet, complete with collar and all, only there to pleasure Erwin.

Feeling slightly restless, Eren sunk his mouth all the way down so that he was deepthroating Erwin as best he could, gagging heavily when the head of his cock hit the back of his throat. The sound was ugly and loud, and for a second Eren feared that the person Erwin’s talking to would hear it, but a harsh tug on his hair the tensing of thigh muscles under him was all he got from Erwin.

So Eren kept going, hollowing out his throat and trying to get as much of Erwin’s cock in his throat as possible. He sank deeper and deeper with each attempt, feeling the walls of his throat contract around the thick meat as he gagged slightly. Tears swam in front of his vision, but Eren blinked them away, completely absorbed in his role of making Erwin feel as good as possible.

Erwin barely seemed to notice.

He was so engrossed in the blowjob that Eren didn’t even notice that Erwin had finished his phone call, not for a minute at least. It wasn’t until the hands in his hair forcefully tugged at him, pulling Eren off the dick and up to face Erwin. Eren was sure that he looked ragged, lips probably bright red and still connected to Erwin’s cock with a long line of spit, but he didn’t care. And judging by the look in Erwin’s eyes, the first real sign of acknowledgement, it wasn’t a bad thing at all.

“Do you still feel lose enough for me?”

The responsible thing would be to say no, to request more preparation, even in addition to the fingering he’d received earlier. But Eren had long since left responsible behind.

So when he mumbled an affirmative reply, Erwin nodded. “Good. Grab a condom from the bed. I want you to ride me here.”

Eren did as he said, his cheeks flushed red, whether out of embarrassment or exhilaration, he wasn’t sure. As he rolled the XXL condom over Erwin’s cock, he took the care to give it one or two more strokes, simply loving the feel of its weight in his hands. Erwin said nothing, but Eren could _feel_ the man’s gaze on him, eyes scanning over him. And Eren knew it was a sight to behold, Erwin still being dressed from the waist up with his pants and underwear pooled around his ankles, all the while Eren was stark naked, only the collar around his neck. The fact that he could feel the lube in his hole squelching as he moved, even beginning to drip down his leg, made the whole thing all the dirtier.

With the condom on, Eren didn’t wait for any further instruction, especially when it appeared Erwin wouldn’t be giving him any. So he stepped over the man’s body, positioning himself with one leg on either side of Erwin. The older man didn’t move, doing nothing to help Eren at all, so he just sank down, feeling the head of Erwin’s cock press against his hole. The burn was significant enough that Eren flinched and growled in pain, and he wished he could’ve used just a little bit more lube on Erwin’s cock, but he hadn’t been given permission. After all, it made no difference to Erwin whether or not Eren felt pain, so he persevered, not stopping as he sank all the way down until he was sitting on Erwin’s lap.

The office chair sank slightly under their combined weight, the hydraulics compressing as Eren sat down on Erwin’s cock. The man’s bare legs were warm under his, and Eren shivered slightly, feeling completely invaded and vulnerable, speared on Erwin’s cock.

“Fuck,” he couldn’t help but stutter, because even after last night, taking a dick this big still left him breathless. He felt like he was both flying and sinking at the same time, his whole body going into overdrive from the sheer sensation of it.

“Good job.” Erwin’s voice was surprisingly encouraging, and Eren felt his cock jump slightly at the sound of it. “You can start now, boy.”

The term of endearment was both touching and filthy at the same time, and it spurred Eren into motion. He didn’t hesitate to straighten his legs slightly, so that Erwin’s cock slipped out of his hole, only the head remaining inside. And then before he could pause to think twice Eren was slamming back down, screaming in a mixture of pain and pleasure and drinking in the way Erwin’s breath hitched from it. The man evidently wasn’t immune to everything Eren did, and so he got to work, not taking long to build up a pace into a steady rhythm. Erwin’s composure began to drop even more as he went, and Eren watched in triumph as his mouth dropped open somewhere between the tenth and twentieth bounce.

Biting his lip in a way Eren knew drove men wild, he continued to move up and down on Erwin’s cock, his own dick springing with each thrust. Erwin was silent under him, but Eren’s could see his mouth falling open and eyes blown wide, evidence that Eren was making this good for him.

He was sweating like a motherfucker already, simply just from Erwin stretching beyond wide.

He rode the cock with abandon, feeling it push deeper into him with each thrust, his walls squeezing around it as he moved. He thrusted his body all the way down, and was rewarded with just the smallest of gasps from Erwin, the man’s breaths quickening just a bit. Eren didn’t take his eyes off him as he rode the man.

And then Erwin’s hands were clutching at Eren’s ass, giving the cheeks a hard squeeze. Eren moaned louder, high-pitched and needy, and was rewarded by a hard smack on his left cheek. Unable to resist, Eren whined further.

“Fuuuuck, slap me again, Erwin.”

But instead of getting another smack on the ass, Eren recoiled when Erwin tapped him on the cheek with his palm. It was barely a slap, not enough to hurt him by any means, but it still left Eren reeling. When he looked back up, Erwin was glaring at him.

All previous signs of appreciation gone, the man spat at him with quiet determination. “You don’t tell me what to do. I give the orders, you follow them.”

Eren was already nodding, equally terrified and turned on by the whole thing. He realised just how fucked up it was that being slapped helped to get him off, but Eren had previously told Erwin that he wasn’t opposed to it. Still, his heart pounded in his chest as he hurried to comply, eyes wide and pleading.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I just-”

“And what did I tell you to call me, boy?”

Breath hitching, Eren apologised again. “I’m sorry, Sir. I’ll do better, I promise.”

Erwin huffed. “Good. Get back to work.”

He did just that, suitably humbled and reminded of his place. It took him a little bit longer this time to work back up to his earlier, vigorous pace, but eventually he got there, moaning once again as the sensation of pleasure took hold. Erwin’s face softened slightly as he went, and the hands came back to grope at his ass. Eren swore as he was spanked again, feeling the grunt reverberate in his throat and make the collar around him feel ten times tighter. He could just imagine the red handprints forming on his ass, like a tattoo that claimed him as Erwin’s property.

Eren had come to see over the last few weeks that in a way, he was a bit of a slut, but it was in moments like these when Eren lived and breathed it, felt like it was running through his blood, making him who he was. It was all too intoxicating, and he could feel himself losing access to higher order thinking, slipping into the haze of cock.

And then Erwin himself let out a broken grunt. “Touch yourself, but don’t cum yet.”

The invitation was all Eren needed, his hand reaching down to grasp his length and start pumping. Not wanting to cum just yet, he tugged at his cock enough to alleviate the mounting pressure but not enough to climax. His movements in riding Erwin’s cock stuttered, the burn from the repeated muscles movements setting in, lactic acid seeping through his body and making him slump. He didn’t want to disappoint Erwin though, not when he was so close, so Eren fought past the pain and kept bouncing, the constant noises from his mouth becoming higher pitched and all the sluttier.

“Cum for me, Eren.”

It was unexpected, so unexpected because Eren hadn’t thought he’d be allowed to. But just hearing his name, and not ‘boy’ or ‘pet’, was enough to make Eren finish, and he arched his back as he spurted long, thick strokes of milky cum all over Erwin’s shirt. The man obviously didn’t seem to care, judging by the soft grunt that left his mouth, which made Eren marvel.

Eren kept cumming, rope after rope of his seed painting over the cotton of Erwin’s shirt, until eventually he ceased, all but slumping against Erwin’s chest. He could feel Erwin’s cock still inside his ass, still rock hard and stretching him like a pillar.

Clearly, Erwin wasn’t done with him, even if Eren had finished himself.

***

**Saturday, 4:09pm**

Erwin facefucked Eren again, hard and rough until Eren was dripping everywhere.

After finishing down his throat, Erwin finally removed the collar, before lovingly wiping Eren’s face clean of the slobber and tears.

***

**Saturday, 6:21pm**

By the time the collar finally came off, Eren was a wreck.

Erwin had let him shower alone, which after the day they’d had, Eren was more than grateful for. Because he’d just been systematically unravelled and torn to pieces in the best way possible. Eren’s joints were stiff and his muscles ached, and he had a tickle in the back of his throat that could only have come from being throat-fucked. It was almost surreal how unexpectedly visceral it had all been, that Erwin Smith, his mild-mannered history professor, could’ve been the one to do that to Eren.

Eventually, Eren turned off the showerhead and stretched his sore back, groaning a little as he did so. He actually bothered getting dressed after stepping out, knowing that neither of them had the energy nor stamina to go another round, not after today. So he pulled on the comfiest pair of sweatpants he owned, alongside a baggy jumper, before padding back out to the lounge.

Erwin was curled up on the sofa, wearing a fluffy robe as he stared down at the tablet he was reading from. He was concentrating heavily on it, so much so that he didn’t glance up upon Eren’s entry, and so Eren chose to lean against the doorframe, staring him over.

He was still looking a little sweaty and dishevelled from the daylong fucking session they’d embarked on, his hair adorably sticking up in a few places. But it was his eyes that Eren focused on, deep blue like the ocean, tracking back and forth slightly as Erwin obviously read something off the screen in front of him. He was biting his lip slightly, something Eren hadn’t really seen him do before, but to be fair, he’d never really looked for it.

A second later, Erwin glanced up.

“What’s got you so quiet?” he asked, a small smile quirking the side of his mouth.

“Nothing,” Eren said softly in reply, walking over to him. “Was just wondering if wearing a dressing gown is a requirement once you become an old stodgy academic.”

Erwin huffed slightly at that, before putting the tablet down and accommodating Eren, who had sat down on the sofa behind him. An arm wrapped around him, and Eren gladly snuggled against Erwin’s larger body. He still smelt of sex, Eren realised, but then again what had he been expecting, when just a little while ago he’d been jacking off onto Eren’s face.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m gonna need a new asshole,” Eren immediately answered, snickering a little as he did so. “In a good way, though,” he added, when he felt the sharp intake of breath against his right ear.

“Mmmm, that’s good.” Erwin hummed, before leaning in to peck him on the cheek.

Eren couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face, too overwhelmed with how happy he was. Already, the weekend had been everything he’d hoped for and more. Because even though he hadn’t been expecting the endless fucking that had occurred, he was more than fine with it. He and Erwin had been dancing around each other for so long now, had had many a conversation together. So just to be in each other’s presence, and not necessarily having to talk, was more than okay with him.

A minute or so later, Eren glanced up, seeing Erwin’s eyes trained on him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Erwin replied, a smirking as he parroted Eren from just a few minutes ago. He did end up continuing, though, as he pulled Eren a little closer. “You just remind me of someone.”

“Oh yeah? In a good way?”

Erwin’s eyes twinkled. “Of course.”

“… You’re not talking about Nile Dok again, are you?”

Eren was pretty sure he wasn’t, but he couldn’t resist teasing him, and when Erwin rolled his eyes in frustration, he chuckled and snuggled closer still.

***

**Saturday, 11:30pm**

“It’s late. Come to bed.”

Eren was standing in the open door to Erwin’s study, staring at the man who was currently typing away at his laptop. Upon hearing him, Erwin looked up, frowning.

“I will. I just need to finish marking these-”

“Nuh uh,” Eren interrupted, taking the last few paces to him to wrap his arms around Erwin from behind. “I can tell you’re tired. And we got a big day tomorrow.”

They’d already agreed that Eren would be putting the collar back on again in the morning.

“These are your class’ assignments. You worked hard on your Shiganshina paper, do you really want them to be returned late?”

“Honestly, I don’t give a fuck. Now come on, I wanna cuddle.”

Somehow, Eren did manage to get him out of that chair, even if Erwin made a show out of the injustice of it. But Eren didn’t want to hear another word from him, and instead just pulled him to the bedroom. He was already ready for bed, only wearing a shirt and a pair of boxers, so settled for waiting while Erwin brushed his teeth and got ready himself.

By the time Erwin finally got into the bed, Eren was half-asleep, but still managed to get Erwin to pulled him close against his chest.

Of course, it was only few minutes later that he felt the other man begin to shift his grip, trying to carefully move away

“Rmphhh. What’re you doing? I’m trying to sleep here.” Eren grumbled.

“I just realised that I didn’t load and run the dishwasher. I’m just going to go stack-”

Eren groaned. “Nope, you need to sleep. We’ll do it in the morning.”

“But we’ll have more dirty dishes by then, and-”

“Sleeeeep,” Eren interrupted again, as he locked onto Erwin’s arms to keep him from moving.

“It will only take five mi-”

“Sleeeeeeeep.”

“Eren-”

“Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.”

“… Fine.”

***

**Sunday, 10:12am**

God, Eren was putting on a such a show for him, he could tell. It was almost embarrassing, how exposed he was to Erwin, legs splayed wide and three fingers buried deep within himself. But even if Erwin was just watching him with a straight face, Eren could see the heat in those eyes, even if his expression was blank. Another wet squelch sounded as Eren buried his fingers inside himself to the knuckles, his cheeks hot from the attention.

He’d been at it for at least a solid thirty minutes, Eren guessed.

“F-fuck,” Eren breathed, feeling how wide his eyes were. “Am I loose enough yet, Sir?”

The words rolled of his tongue almost too naturally. It was dangerous how ready he was to give in to Erwin, he could already tell. The way Erwin opened up thoughts within Eren that should probably stay locked away.

“You’re almost there, Eren,” Erwin denied him, before raising an eyebrow. “Why don’t you add another finger?”

Eren moaned at the thought, but kept his eyes locked onto Erwin’s as he added another finger, making that four currently inside himself. It was almost scary, how quickly Erwin and Levi had turned him into such an eager bottom. He wanted it, wanted Erwin to stretch him wide and destroy him and fucking hell, this guy had already given Eren so many kinks he’d never known he needed nor wanted.

If it was anyone else, Eren probably would’ve stretched himself too loose for it to feel good. But even now Erwin would likely still slide in with a burn, a feeling that Eren had come to yearn for, the feeling of being _filled to the brim_. His thighs were shaking from being held apart for so long, so much so that Eren had to wrap his free arm around one leg, grasping it under the knee and pulling it to his chest. He felt so exposed, so vulnerable in front of Erwin, who still looked like he was in the middle of conducting an assessment, rather than being about to fuck him.

Surely Erwin was going to fuck him after this, right?

Eren couldn’t quite reach his prostate from the angle he was fingering himself from, which made the whole ordeal all the more frustrating. And surely Erwin could tell, except Eren didn’t know what Erwin was thinking because he’d gone back to that stone cold expression, steely eyes piercing right through Eren.

Finally, just when Eren was about to whine aloud again, Erwin stood up.

“That’s enough.”

The effect was instantaneous. Eren all but ripped those fingers from his hole, feeling the twitch at the emptiness, but didn’t move from his position on his back as he waited for Erwin’s next order.

It didn’t take long. “Lie back. Lift your ass in the air for me,” Erwin ordered.

Eren hadn’t been expecting that, but he did as was instructed, doing his best to get his ass up as high as he could. It wasn’t much, and his legs were dangling either side of him again, his hole exposed to Erwin.

While he did so, Erwin removed the underwear he’d been wearing, and began to stroke his cock to hardness (fucking hell, how had he held back from getting hard for that lo-

“Hold yourself open for me.”

Eren blinked in surprise, caught off guard. “W-what?”

“Did I stutter?”

And Erwin’s words cut through him like ice, so much so that Eren was already babbling out an unintelligible apology as he moved to do as ordered. As he put a hand on each ass cheek and pulled his legs apart, Eren burned red from the shame of making Erwin raise his tone. On some level, he was worried at how much of a knee-jerk reaction that’d been from him, like he was slowly being conditioned to instinctively bow to Erwin’s whim.

Erwin _did_ place his own hands under Eren’s ass to help, before lifting him up higher, so that Eren was practically bent upside-down. His legs dangled down from above him, a knee at either side of his chin and neck craning in protest from the unnatural angle. He felt like he was being bent in half, and supposed that if he could see himself in a mirror, then he’d probably look that way.

Looking up, Eren almost flinched at the harshness of Erwin’s stare, and knew that the man was ordering him to proceed. So, cheeks hot, Eren stretched his legs wider, ignoring the burn of the stretch until _surely_ he was doing it good enough for Erwin.

Erwin, who was right above him, crouched behind Eren and still holding his body vertical. And then he was staring down at Eren, right down at where he was holding himself open, probably staring right inside him and Eren felt fuzzy with the attention.

“S-sir…”

Pursing his lips, it took Eren until it was happening to realise that Erwin wasn’t replying to him, but instead spitting down onto his hole, _inside_ it. Eren whined, because he felt that, and his hands were slinking behind his knees to keep his legs from shaking anymore than they already were.

“Please,” Eren all but blurted, chin pressed to his collarbone from how far over he was bent.

Erwin was making him feel like a piece of meat. Something to be looked at and used as he so pleased.

But Erwin did change positions a second later, leaving Eren in order to get a condom and lather his dick with lube. Eren only got a brief moment of respite, not daring to change his position while he waited. And that seemed to please Erwin when he got back, the man standing over Eren’s body and aiming his cock downward.

God, Erwin was going to take him _like this_.

As Erwin crouched, Eren tensed for the impending stretch, the pressure at his loosened hole only lasting a second before Erwin was sliding down into him. And his body caved just like that, his wrecked muscles accommodating Erwin all too easily, but the penetration still filling him just as fucking much. It felt like Erwin was piledriving right through him, splitting him apart on his cock that just kept going down.

By the time Erwin finally bottomed out, Eren was moaning like a madman. He knew he sounded ridiculous, his whines high-pitched and over the top, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Erwin’s pelvic bone was pressing against Eren’s ass, his weight pressing down and pushing Eren into the mattress.

Eren’s neck was fucking _killing him_.

Bracing his thighs against the back of Eren’s legs, Erwin’s first thrust made him whimper. He pulled out before practically launching back in, the force making Eren’s body rock. Eren was babbling again, mumbling under his breath, but Erwin kept pounding into him, the downward thrusts causing the bed to creak loudly beneath them. He pulled out and then pushed in again, the slap of their skin resonating through the room as Erwin continued to piston up and down.

Angling himself into a deeper position, Erwin slid in impossibly deeper and Eren gasped, because Erwin’s cock was definitely hitting some sort of wall inside him. For a moment, the scientific side of Eren’s brain wandered towards thinking just what part of his body that was, but the next thrust pushed those thoughts away. Because at the end of the day, Eren didn’t really care what it was Erwin was pounding as long as it kept launching that same sense of butterflies through Eren.

“Again,” Eren gurgled, not caring that the words were pointless because why the fuck would Erwin stop now? “Fuck me, fuck me, keep going ugh-”

Eren didn’t even realise that his body was instinctively arching to meet Erwin’s thrusts, his hips twitching as if he couldn’t get enough. Erwin pushed Eren’s thighs further down an apart, so that Eren’s knees were practically touching the mattress on either side of his head. He didn’t even know he was this flexible, but right now was glad for it, even if his hamstrings were burning in protest.

Eren knew he sounded like a pornstar, but Erwin clearly didn’t seem to mind as he continued to pound away. Erwin’s composure had barely broken, the only sign of exertion being the teeth he had biting into his bottom lip.

There was something so indescribably hot about that, the fact that Erwin looked so calm but Eren was a complete and utter mess of a human.

***

**Sunday, 1:02pm**

Erwin ate him out again, while they waited for their soup to boil.

It was amazing, suffice to say.

***

**Sunday, 2:47pm**

“Oh my god,” Eren all but screamed, his neck beginning to ache again, this time though from how he was bent into the back of the couch. “Fucking pound me, shit Erwin!”

Erwin had him folded in half again, this time into the arm of the luxurious couch in the living room. Eren had come to expect it of him, figuring the Erwin got a kick out of seeing him so compacted. Fuck, Eren got a kick from it to.

And his words seemed to do the trick, because a second later Erwin was leaning down, close enough that he could’ve kissed Eren. But they both knew that the man wouldn’t do that, and a second later, the hand that had been on Eren’s chest came up to grip his jaw, squeezing so hard that Eren felt pain strike through him.

Eren had barely flinched when Erwin had entered him. By this stage, he reckoned his hole was more used to being filled by Erwin than being empty. And that was a killer too, the knowledge that Erwin was slowly ruing his body, little by little making it adapt to him.

He was becoming Erwin’s.

Shivering, Eren groaned as he felt something come over him, something vicious and feral he’d never felt before. Moments later, Eren could feel the wide, cocky smirk splitting across his face.

“That’s the best you can do, huh?” He jeered, the mocking words completely undermined by how fucked out and desperate his voice was. “Come on, fucking choke me already.”

Eren saw the moment when Erwin’s face darkened, when his eyes clouded over and the man lost control.

A final, strangled gasp escaped his lips before both of Erwin’s hands closed around his throat, pressing down hard, too fucking hard, on his windpipe. Eren’s eyes shot wide, his cock jumping from where it was pressed between their two bodies. Erwin looked _feral_, his teeth clenched and barely an inch from Eren’s lips as his hips slapped hard against Eren’s ass. Leaning down further to his side, Erwin bit Eren’s ear, making the younger man whimper wordlessly as those teeth clamped onto him.

“Is this what you wanted, you fucking bitch?” Erwin growled, voice low and dangerous like Eren had never heard it before. The man sounded deadly, more so than Eren had ever anticipated.

The hands on his neck didn’t let up, and as Erwin pulled back he put even more weight on them, to the point where Eren was positive his windpipe would cave in. He felt light-headed, high on the spell Erwin had put him under, and purely pathetic sob leaving his lips as his mouth gaped open, his body not being able to cope with what he was feeling.

For what seemed like an eternity, Erwin forced his might down on Eren, strangling him endlessly while continuing to fuck into him all the while. Eren had long since gone slack, his arms spread out on the sofa either side of him. Eren had always been pretty good at holding his breath, had swam enough as a teenager to be used to it. But as the moments ticked over and Erwin didn’t release him, Eren’s thoughts started to go fuzzy as the edges of his vision darkened.

“-Erw-i,” he tried to gasp, the words barely making sense as Erwin clamped even tighter around his neck. Those fingers were now digging into him, pressing into his skin and over his veins, until Eren could feel the blood pounding in his head. His skin felt hot, eyes heavy, like he was going to fall asleep, yet his stomach fluttering with each slide of the cock inside him.

And then Eren was cumming, his cock spurting thick ropes of seed all over his stomach and chest, coating him as Erwin’s body slid over him once, twice more, before Erwin then grunted loud and stuttered in his movements. The world blurred as Eren floated, no longer sure if his eyes were open or if he was even conscious, until suddenly he realised that there weren’t hands on his neck anymore, and his body went into survival mode as he sucked in sharp gasps of air.

It felt icy cold in his throat, and Eren coughed raggedly as his brain became overloaded with sensation, too much going on at that one time for him to cope with.

Erwin was panting. Not nearly as heavily as Eren, of course, but he could see the effect that the choking had had on him. Erwin looked feral, that glint remaining in his eyes even after letting go, and all at once Eren realised how out of his depth he was, how dangerous that’d been.

Holy fuck.

He didn’t even know what to think, _how_ to think. Because that had just happened. Eren had commanded Erwin to practically choked the life out of him, and then he’d had _gotten off_ to it. The thrill of his life hanging in the balance, him being unable to move and at Erwin’s mercy, had made him cum, cum harder than he ever had before.

And they hadn’t even talked about it.

***

**Sunday, 3:43pm**

Arching his cramped back, Eren ignored the way his muscles groaned in protest. Like yesterday, everything was sore again, satisfyingly sore like the aftermath of a workout. Because the last two days had been one hell of a workout, Eren having been folded over or spread apart too many times to count.

God, even just walking hurt.

The collar was off, left discarded beside the bed. Even now, as Eren looked at it, he couldn’t help but feel drawn to the black leather.

In an hour or so, Erwin would be driving them both back to Trost, but even still Eren couldn’t help but think about wearing it again. But that wasn’t going to happen, not today, and as much as he hated the decision, Eren recognised it was the right one. He had enough to mentally unpack as it was.

After last night, Eren had forced Erwin to turn off his laptop, tablet and phone again, so that they could fuck uninterrupted. It was only now though, as his legs and back and hole burned, that he thought that a break at some point might’ve been a good idea.

He left Erwin dozing in the bed, grunting softly as he rolled to his feet. After the life-changing fuck (and yeah, Eren felt justified in calling it that) they’d just had, the two of them had barely made it to the bed before collapsing from exhaustion. Erwin had fallen asleep soon afterwards, but Eren’s mind had been spinning too much to nod off.

Erwin had choked him, _legitimately choked him_. And Eren had been into it. He’d wanted it, so fucking bad, but now that he’d come down from the high of it, he couldn’t help but second guess everything.

He wasn’t second guessing his own actions. Eren had known for years that there was something not quite right with him, something slightly unhinged.

Erwin had showed him today that he was the same.

Eren didn’t know whether he’d been infatuated or haunted by it, with the wild look those eyes had cut into him with. He felt both exhilarated and terrified, and definitely not sure where to go from here.

As he made his way into the bathroom, the first thing Eren saw was his own reflection in the mirror. Or more specifically, the darkening skin on his neck. And fuck, that shouldn’t have sent excited chills through him the way it did, but there he was, delicately brushing the hand-shaped bruises on his skin.

They looked beautiful.

Eren swallowed thickly. That was not a healthy thought to have.

Suddenly feeling like he was thinking too much, too quickly, Eren retracted his fingers, before turning back into the master bedroom. Erwin was still naked, stretched out on display, and Eren took the time to drink in his figure. The way his sculpted muscles rose and fell with each breath, to how his forehead was relaxed in his sleep.

Not really sure where his destination was, Eren walked out of the master room, gathering any of his discarded clothes he could find throughout the house. There was a shirt strewn across a chair, underwear on the sofa, alongside many more that signalled the path of destruction they’d been on that weekend.

It was only as Eren moved to grab his shoes from under the bookshelf that he noticed the brown leather photo album in front of him. It was slotted in between various history texts and novels, but it was the album that Eren was drawn to.

Which was how he ended up flicking through it, grinning to himself as he looked at photo after photo of a young Erwin, carefree and open. There were pictures from all through his years growing up, most of them of only him, but there were a few with others. A bearded man with Erwin’s eyes showed up frequently, and it took a few moments for Eren to connect the dots and realise that he was Erwin’s father.

Now taking more time to look at him, Eren couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Erwin’s father looked like everything his own was not, smiling and affectionate and open, and there was a single picture that had a younger Erwin looking up in adoration at him, rather than at the camera.

Fighting down the envy, Eren turned the page. He wasn’t going to get resentful, not when the emotional rift between him and his father was likely his fault as much as it was Grisha’s.

When he found a picture of Erwin’s college graduation, he was surprised to see a young Nile Dok next to him. And if seeing a young Erwin was jarring, then seeing a young Nile was even more so. Because there wasn’t a trace of sourness in the younger man’s face, his features bright and radiant. Both Erwin and Nile were decked out in their graduation gowns and caps, holding their certificates proudly to the camera and with Nile slinging and arm around Erwin.

What had happened to them, to Nile? To make him so cynical and unpleasant?

The very last photo in the album was of someone Eren didn’t recognise. He was young, probably about Eren’s age if he had to guess, with a slim jawline and tight-lipped smile. His hair toed the line between casual and messy, and he looked somewhat startled, like he’d been caught by surprise. Eren found himself pulling the picture out of its sleeve, turning it to see if there was an inscription on the back, only to find it blank.

Eren had only just put the photo back and closed the album when Erwin padded out of the bedroom behind him, tiredly rubbing his eyes. He looked adorable, and Eren could see the younger version of him in there, behind the frown-lines and the façade he’d gotten so use to deconstructing over the past few weeks.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Erwin asked, as Eren slotted the album back into the bookshelf.

Eren shook his head, before turning to him. “Y-you were a cute kid.”

Fuck, his voice was _ruined_. Even aside from the initial crack in his tone, he sounded like he’d been gargling sandpaper, and his throat was searing from his attempt to speak. Which made sense, given what he’d just endured.

Erwin had the decency to look embarrassed.

“I…” he began, looking at his feet. “I wanted to apologise, for taking things so far. I should’ve discussed my… ah, tendencies before we…”

Despite the fact that Eren knew deep down that yeah, they probably _should_ have discussed it beforehand, he was already shaking his head.

“It’s fine, really,” he added, when the rasp of his voice undermined him.

“No it’s not-”

“It is,” Eren cut in once again, doing his best to sound assertive. “I fucking _asked_ for it, remember. And besides… I liked it.”

At that, Erwin paused, and Eren couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he judging him, thinking he was fucked up? Probably not, Eren reasoned, but the silence was still enough to put him on edge.

“Regardless,” Erwin said eventually, looking to the floor, “it was my responsibility to communicate effectively… and I failed on that part. It won’t happen again.”

“Erwin-”

“I mean it,” Erwin hissed, looking far too haunted for Eren’s liking. “I won’t do that to you again.”

***

**Sunday, 6:49pm**

As Erwin pulled up beside Eren’s dorm building, he felt the disappointment weigh on him.

Their weekend away was over.

Eren wasn’t ready to go back to pretending that he wasn’t seeing Erwin, to his normal life where there were people that would judge him. But Erwin had classes to teach tomorrow, classes that Eren was part of. They had real lives to get back to.

“Are… are we good?” Eren croaked as he began to climb out of the car, because despite the easy chat they’d fallen into on the journey home, he still felt like Erwin was caught up on what had happened before.

Erwin looked at him, his deep blue eyes looking as beautiful as ever.

“I meant it when I said I was sorry, Eren,” he began, before holding up a hand when Eren went to protest. “I know you don’t think it’s an issue, but it _does_ matter to me. But this was also one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time, so yeah. We’re good.”

And despite the fact that they were back in the real world now, Eren had chanced one last kiss before he’d left, leaning across the seats to claim Erwin’s lips with his own.

Fuck what anyone said, he wasn’t going to give this up.

By the time Erwin had finally left, Eren was feeling better about the whole thing. He’d already wrapped a scarf around his neck, because he really didn’t need to deal with dodging questions from Jean tonight. He’d work out a more permanent solution tomorrow, but right now all he needed was a bed to fall into.

Of course, that was when his life went to shit.

On his way up to his dorm, Eren fumbled with his bag, working to fish his phone out from the bottom. With him having been off the grid for the last few days, Eren supposed he should call Mikasa before he went to bed, if anything just to let her know he’d gotten back safely.

His phone turned on at the same time Eren had his key in the door. But it was only as he’d stepped into his room that he glanced down at the screen, and saw the 45 unread texts, and 23 missed calls.

_What the fu-_

“Eren,” Jean yelled, almost falling out of his bed in surprise. “Where the fuck have you been?”

Eren just stared at him, then glanced back down to his phone screen.

_Missed call: Mikasa Yeager (17), last call 4:37pm_

“I told you I was with my family- why does Mikasa keep calling me?” Eren replied, more to himself as he sorted through the calls, dumbfounded.

Most of them were from Mikasa, ranging from lunch time today to just a few hours before. And really, she knew he wouldn’t have had his phone on, so why had she kept trying to call him?

“Dude!” Jean snapped, and Eren glanced up from his phone.

Jean was staring at him, eyes wide.

“You really don’t know?”

“Know what,” Eren asked, starting to panic. “Jean, what’s going on?”

“Just… just check the message I sent you.”

Eren did, and then his world crashed to pieces.

_DUDE, PICK THE FUCK UP!_ – Jean, 1:13pm

Attached to it was a photo, which thanks to the picture’s good quality, the scene was unmistakable. In front of the dorm building they were currently inside, the picture showed two people locked in a deep kiss.

Eren didn’t need to zoom in to know that it was him and Erwin, after the history conference two weeks ago.

***

**Now.**

“For the record, I hate this as much as you do.”

Eren didn’t look at Levi, but he felt the other man’s hand tense against his briefly.

“Somehow I doubt that, Yeager,” Levi hissed back, as they walked towards through the crowds of the fundraiser.

It was almost surreal, to be back here and acting normal after everything that had just happened. Around them, drunk people were laughing and chatting excitedly in small groups, the loud thump of the bass over the speakers making it near impossible to hear a word of it.

As they walked through the crowds, hand in hand, Eren flinched as a few random strangers glanced his way, recognising him immediately. It was no wonder, given that the pictures of him and Erwin were plastered all over the Trost university social media circles, but even now, two weeks later, Eren still hadn’t gotten used to it.

Levi shivered beside him, and Eren glanced at him. Levi was wearing one of Bertholdt’s scarves, which was a little out of the ordinary, but it was needed to hide the finger-shaped bruises on his neck. Other than that, he was dressed as usual, complete with his trademark massive coat, now zipped up to hide the fact he was wearing Bertholdt’s stuff.

When one girl on his left visibly recognised him, before judgingly looking down at where his hand was gripped by Levi’s, Eren fought off the urge to pull away, instead curling in closer to the other man’s side.

“Just make it look like we’re having a conversation, okay?” Eren said, smiling widely as he did so and knowing that if anyone was actually looking their way, all they’d see was him tipsily chatting away, the words inaudible. It was overly forced, especially since he’d had a little time to process what Levi had done on the ride over here. It was relatively small scale, in comparison to Eren’s own actions that night and everything else that had happened, but Eren would be lying if he said he still wasn’t hurt.

“And what are we talking about?” Levi replied, and Eren could see that he was forcing a smirk. “Usually I just ignore you when you annoy me, so I don’t see why we have to pretend otherwise.”

But despite the tension between them, Levi was clearly playing along, for which Eren was grateful for.

Faking an over-the-top giggle for anyone watching, Eren leaned in and kissed Levi on the cheek. “You think you’re funny, huh?”

“Yeah. Being funny is right at the top of my priorities tonight.”

Ignoring the venom in the words, Eren just let Levi lead him towards the main area of the fundraiser, where Hanji would likely be. He knew that Levi blamed him for what had happened, and he was probably right. Because even though Levi had been the one to set things in motion tonight, he hadn’t killed someone.

Dammit, he was meant to be pretending to be happy.

Hanji saw them as they approached the main GSA pavilion, and was already out of her seat and raging towards them before he could blink. It was clear that she was frazzled, her eyes wide and hair sticking out a little from where she’d likely been running her hands through it. Annie was seated at the pavilion beside her, madly rifling through paper forms of some kind.

“Where the fuck have you guys been?” Hanji crowed, but looked more relieved than mad as her eyes darted between him and Levi. “I’ve been calling everyone all night!”

And yeah, now that Eren thought about it, he and Levi weren’t the only ones that had done a disappearing act on the night of the biggest GSA event of the year.

At the drinks station nearby, Eren could see Moblit, Eld and Petra desperately filling up and handing out cup after cup of alcohol, a long line of customers in front of them. Mike, Gunther and Nanaba were rushing back and forth from a car with more slabs of beer, as Annie took over for whatever admin work Hanji had been doing.

“Sorry Hanji,” Eren said truthfully, stumbling a little on purpose as he snuggled against Levi’s arm. He was meant to be drunk, after all. “We… lost track of time.”

“I can see that,” Hanji replied, eyes locked onto their clasped hands. Levi’s shirt was about three sizes too tight for Eren, and he was shivering in the night air. She didn’t comment on their state any further, though, and for a second Eren wondered if they were overplaying it too much. Hanji knew Levi well, at least enough to know that this was out of the ordinary behaviour for him to indulge in such a public display of infection.

Clearly, Levi had the same thought, as a second later he pulled his hand away from Eren’s and scowled. “Don’t say a thing, Shitty Glasses,” he growled.

“What can we do to help?” Eren asked, pretending to look slightly hurt at the rejection.

“Well we need more people serving drinks, but first tell me where the fuck everyone else is. Surely you’ve seen Mikasa, right?”

“Yeah,” Eren replied, thinking back to what Armin had told him to say. “She and Armin have taken Sasha back to her place to look after her. She got too drunk… again.”

Hanji sighed, running her hand through her hair again in worry. “Fuck, I forgot about that. I palmed her off to your friend, that wasn’t fair of me. With all the freshmen and sophomores disappearing except for Annie, I was overloaded with jobs.”

Eren brushed off the apology, looking around. “I’m guessing Jean didn’t turn back up, then?”

Sighing loudly, Hanji shook her head. “Dammit, I was hoping you’d have seen him. He’s been a no show for the last few hours. Can’t find Connie either, he wandered off with some older guy. What about Marco, have you seen him at all today?”

Looking back at Hanji, Eren shook his head after a second. “No.”

Behind her and in the pavilion, some drunk student was shouting at Annie, who just sat there and glared at him in silence. Hanji groaned, already pulling out her phone and holding it to her ear.

“I need to get back to work, can you guys serve drinks or something?” She didn’t wait for an answer, instead pacing back towards the pavilion and groaning when her call clearly went to voicemail again. “God dammit, Bertholdt! Pick the fuck up…”

As Hanji went back to stop Annie from killing the drunk idiot, Eren turned to Levi.

“I think that went well.”

Levi grimaced, before exhaling softly. “You mean we didn’t get caught.”

“Hey, a win’s a win,” Eren shot back, before slinging an arm over Levi’s shoulder, if only to hear him groan. “Come on, we better get to work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap for this week. Bit of a marathon chapter, which I'm sorry for if anyone got a bit burnt out reading it. I felt like I had to give Eren and Erwin their due of alone time, after all this build-up that had been going on for the entire fic. And as you can probably see, they aren't gonna be in too much of a happy place next chapter! Things are heating up for sure!
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! As always, I get a big kick from reading everyone's theories for the murder, so keep 'em coming!


	14. Damage Control for the Uninitiated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Some dude came up to me when I got breakfast with Historia and Ymir this morning. Ymir threatened to, and I quote, ‘cut a bitch’ if he didn’t fuck off.”
> 
> Reiner huffed out a laugh. “God, I love that girl. She’s can be a real bitch, but fucking hell is she loyal.”
> 
> Eren was beginning to see that, too.
> 
> “One of the guys on the football team tried to come at me, once,” Reiner continued. “Ymir fucking decked him right in the face before he could get within two feet of me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back with another chapter, one that's very plot focused! In terms of the countdown to the murder, we're into the the order of days (and not weeks) now, which is very exciting!
> 
> Not much else to say this week, other than that the support I've been getting has blown me away. It should be full-steam ahead to the end from here, with no more breaks or hiatuses- I'm almost done writing this thing altogether!
> 
> Enjoy!

**Then. 8 Days Ago**

Eren sighed, pulling his baseball cap further forward on his head.

It might’ve just been paranoia, but Eren had been certain that the group of girls he’d just passed had lingered on him for just a second too long. The one on the left had definitely seemed interested in him, and somehow he doubted that she’d just been checking him out. And that’s how things had been for the past four days, with Eren spending every moment dodging people and worrying if he’d been recognised.

Being outed to have kissed your college professor tended to up a person’s notoriety.

It wasn’t like he was famous or anything, but the photos had definitely taken the campus by storm. According to Connie, the story had gotten the briefest of mentions on a few morning news shows (mainly for the scandal of it all, more than anything), but frankly, there was more important shit going on in the world than his sex life.

But the same could not be said for Trost University, and the social media platforms Eren was associated with. On the Monday, Eren had made the mistake of going down to the communal dining hall in his building, only to immediately have all eyes on him. Erwin was a relatively big name of campus, so he’d been recognised almost immediately alongside the release of the photo. It’d taken almost all of Sunday for Eren to be identified, but he’d spent that whole day being blissfully unaware of the impending storm, off with Erwin at his beach house.

The Facebook page for Trost Students was alight with posts and gossip, Eren having been tagged in so many posts that he’d had to his turn notifications off.

Suffice to say, Eren hadn’t gone to class on Monday. Especially when he knew that Erwin wouldn’t be there.

After Jean had showed him the photo that night, Eren had doubled back to Erwin’s place immediately. Erwin hadn’t answered his phone the first twenty times he’d called, but that hadn’t stopped Eren from dialling him over and over the whole car ride there.

Jean had driven him in his car, which Eren was thankful for, even if the journey had been the worst twenty minutes of his life. He’d entered the building alone, and had been hoping that he could gently break the news to Erwin himself, but upon arriving at his door, Eren had once again been disappointed.

Despite having seen him only half an hour ago, Erwin had looked like an entirely different person when he opened the door, and Eren had known then that it wasn’t going to end well.

“Erwin, oh my god, I’m so sorr-”

“You need to leave.”

The words had cut through him like a hot knife, and Eren stopped short in shock.

“W-what?”

Erwin’s eyes, usually such a brilliant shade of blue, had instead looked dead.

“This was a mistake, Eren. I’m sorry, but please don’t contact me again.”

Jean had found him 10 minutes later, slumped against the wall and with his head in his hands. Mikasa had also been there, and Eren would later learn that Jean had been the one to get in touch with her.

The rest of that night was still a blur to Eren, a mix of panic and dull realisation churning within him. Mikasa had ended up spending the night in their dorm, curled around Eren and holding him tight the way he’d once done for her, years before.

Eren hadn’t gone to class on the Monday morning, but he’d tried to stop by Erwin’s building several more times, only for the door to never be answered. He’d learnt on the Tuesday from the building’s caretaker that Erwin had moved out, taking a box of his stuff and dropping off the key on his way out. No one knew where he’d gone.

Which left Eren desperately calling him over and over, hoping against hope that just once, Erwin would pick up. That he’d give Eren a chance to fix things, to fix this disaster that had come out of their budding relationship.

Not that Eren really knew how to fix this.

There was a disciplinary hearing, of course. Eren had been contacted by the university board on the Monday evening, with an email detailing the steps he’d have to take in order to adhere to university policies while navigating through the ordeal.

Given the public nature of the situation, Eren had been exempted from any in-person classes for the next two weeks, taking him up until the day of the initial hearing, the Saturday after the next. Until then, Eren would be completing all his lectures and other classes online, while promising to make up his science practical work later in the semester. The kicker was that the initial hearing was the morning after the GSA fundraiser, which was a whole other beast entirely. Because Eren was meant to be out and about with the rest of his friends, handing out fliers and promoting the event to the campus.

Jean had joked that his presence out there would probably sell tickets like gangbusters, but they both knew he wasn’t _that_ famous.

God, he really didn’t deserve Jean, not after the way he’d been treating him these last few weeks. They hadn’t even talked about how Eren had not only lied to his face, but had deliberately gone out of his way to cover up his tracks with Erwin. Jean hadn’t once mentioned it, and while it was a pretty small deal compared to everything going on, the gesture hadn’t been lost on Eren.

Mikasa had been a rock as well, which Eren had never really doubted, really. But like Jean, she’d put aside the fact that Eren had lied to her, and had focused on supporting him and keeping him from doing anything crazy.

“I’m sorry,” Eren had said to her, the moment they’d had a moment alone together.

He really hadn’t needed to specify what for.

But Mikasa hadn’t gotten angry. She never really did, but Eren had been expecting it that time. There had been something there when he’d apologised, something which Eren had just wished she’d voice to him, so they could’ve worked it through. But she hadn’t, instead just hugging Eren tight and letting him sob into her shoulder.

“Let’s get you some food,” Mikasa had eventually replied with, and Eren had known then that that was it. He wouldn’t hear anything more from her until Mikasa was ready to talk.

Eren really needed to go on an apology tour, after all this was over.

It wasn’t just Mikasa and Jean who’d stood by him, either. The whole GSA had rallied behind Eren, their presence being the only real upside to this whole ordeal.

It’d taken some convincing, but eventually Jean and Mikasa had dragged Eren out of his dorm to the Tuesday afternoon GSA meeting. With only a week and a half to go before the fundraiser, the meeting was meant to be about finalising their remaining tasks and confirming bookings, but suffice to say, that had been derailed slightly by him.

Initially, the conversations in the GSA room had died off as Eren had entered, and for a second he’d feared the worst, that his safe haven would become like every other corner of this fucking campus for him.

But then Hanji had smiled widely at him, moving to wrap him in a firm hug in front of everyone. After that, the tension in the room had been cut, and Eren had been inundated with person after person offering their support and asking if there was anything he needed. It’d all been overwhelming, to be honest, and by the time the meeting was over, Eren was mentally exhausted and had pretty much crashed the moment they’d gotten back home.

What made it even better was that those words of support hadn’t just been words.

To say that staying inside a tiny two-bed dorm all day was suffocating would be an understatement. And apart from Jean and Mikasa, the latter of whom had pretty much moved in, there wasn’t anyone else around, and Eren had been going crazy.

He still wasn’t sure who was responsible for organising it, but after a few nights cramped up in his dorm, friends who owned actual apartments had begun to offer up a spare bed for him to escape to.

He’d spent the Wednesday night in Historia’s guest bedroom, and apart from having to put on headphones for an hour or two to block out some very aggressive sex between her and Ymir (surprisingly, mostly on Historia’s part), Eren had had a blast. Historia was great fun to hang out with, and to be honest, Ymir was growing on him. Connie and Sasha had also come over that night, the five of them watching trashy movies and giving Eren something else to focus on, while also giving both Jean and Mikasa a night off babysitting his sorry ass.

At one point in the night, Eren had been scrolling through Facebook when none other than Frieda Reiss had popped up on his feed.

“Your sister’s doing pretty well,” he’d said to Historia, flicking through the comments of people saying that they loved her speech. “I reckon she’s got this election in the bag.”

“I hope so.” The pride had been evident in Historia’s voice. “She’s the sweetest person I know, and she wants this so much.”

They’d chatted a bit more about Historia’s family that night, and Eren had learnt that she’d actually lived with her mother for most of her life, having no real contact with Rod Reiss until a few years ago. But Historia had told him that Reiss’ family had welcomed her with open arms, and that Frieda had become the big sister she’d always dreamed of.

Eren also noticed that Ymir didn’t seem too happy with what Historia was saying, but he’d stayed quiet on that front.

It’d been a night off he’d direly needed in the end. And tonight he was headed to Reiner and Bertholdt’s, another place with a free room, given that the two guys shared one bed basically every night. Eren was sure that there’d be the offer for him to spend the night in their room as well, but he was already getting ready to politely decline, mainly because he was still holding out hope that things between him and Erwin were salvageable.

Not to mention, the last interaction he’d had with Reiner still weighed on Eren’s mind, and how the hell was he meant to accept their hospitality and kindness when he couldn’t even look Bertholdt in the eye? But when Bertholdt opened the door for him, Eren plastered a grin on his face, even though he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. Hopefully, Bertholdt would think Eren was still dealing with the ramifications of everything with Erwin (and he was, really) and not that he’d fucked Reiner raw when he wasn’t meant to.

Still, the hug and quick peck on the forehead Eren got from Bertholdt was comforting enough to settle him a little, and when they separated, Eren felt some of the tension leave him.

“Thanks for this, really.”

“It’s nothing, Eren,” Bertholdt replied with a kind smile. “Dump your bag in the spare room and I’ll order dinner. You okay with pizza?”

Eren nodded, and by the time he’d put his stuff in the room, Reiner was exiting the bathroom, wet and wrapped in a bath towel. And god, if anything was enough to get Eren out of his dark mood, a nearly naked Reiner Braun would be it.

“Hey dude,” Reiner said with a grin. “Me and Bertl were gonna fire up the PlayStation with dinner, unless you’d rather watch a movie?”

“PlayStation’s good,” Eren replied, keenly aware that this was all centred on him.

Thankfully for Eren’s concentration span, Reiner did put on some clothes eventually, albeit a very loose and revealing tank top. And so Eren spent most of dinner and the following Call of Duty marathon getting distracted by the sight of Reiner’s massive biceps, alongside his way too defined muscles that ran down his sides.

“Have you been hounded much on campus these last few days?” Bertholdt asked around an hour into the gaming session, when Eren was taking a break to grab more beers from the fridge.

He and Reiner kept playing, but Eren could see both of them glancing side-on at him every few seconds.

“Eh, kinda,” Eren replied, rifling through the fridge for more beer. “Some dude came up to me when I got breakfast with Historia and Ymir this morning. Ymir threatened to, and I quote, ‘cut a bitch’ if he didn’t fuck off.”

Reiner huffed out a laugh. “God, I love that girl. She’s can be a real bitch, but fucking hell is she loyal.”

Eren was beginning to see that, too. With Reiner and Bertholdt being in the same year of college as Historia and Ymir, along with Annie, Eren knew that the five of them were relatively close. Much like himself, Mikasa, Connie, Jean, Sasha and Marco. Still, Eren was thankful that the guys in the year above him were still so open to him, and had were fast becoming some of the people he trusted the most out here.

“One of the guys on the football team tried to come at me, once,” Reiner continued. “Ymir fucking decked him right in the face before he could get within two feet of me.”

“To be fair, you did steal his phone,” Bertholdt chuckled, before wincing slightly as he thought better of it.

Eren pretended he hadn’t heard that last part, not looking up from where he was grabbing more beer, as Bertholdt quietly mumbled something to Reiner. It was probably an apology, mostly because they both knew that impulse control wasn’t one of Reiner’s strong points, especially when he was riding a manic high. Bertholdt had told him that for some reason, stealing things was an outlet for Reiner’s energy, even if it did get him into trouble. He didn’t do it much, but Eren suspected that it was just one of the many bad choices Reiner had likely made over the years.

However, when Eren sat back down and passed them more beer, though, Reiner’s forehead crinkled a bit, and something seemed to cloud over him. The game was being paused, and then Reiner was looking his way.

“Have you heard anything from Er- Professor Smith?”

And god, even the fact that that was what they called him made Eren realised how fucked up this all was. In what reality had he thought he’d be able to get away with fucking (and potentially dating) his _college professor_?

He’d been doing a pretty good job at keeping Erwin out of his thoughts these last few days, all things considered.

Distantly, Eren registered that Bertholdt was chastising Reiner for being so blunt, when they were clearly meant to be distracting him for the night.

“He-” Eren’s voice hitched, and he could feel the thickness in his voice as he interrupted the other two’s argument. “He won’t take my calls.”

“Shit, I’m sorry Eren,” Bertholdt replied, and Eren could hear the sincerity in his voice.

“I’m pretty sure he hates me. I’m the student, so I’m probably just gonna get a slap on the wrist for this, maybe get kicked out of the subject at the worst, but Erwin’s gonna be eviscerated by the board.”

“You don’t know that, dude-”

“He said when we went away together that it’d be the end of his career if we got found out.”

Not to mention, his dream of being granted tenure was pretty much over, but Eren didn’t voice that thought.

“What are you gonna say at the hearing?” Reiner asked.

“M’gonna say it was all me,” Eren replied simply, because it was. Even if things were beyond fixing between him and Erwin, he had the responsibility to mitigate as much of the damage as possible. “I’ll tell them that I kissed him, that he shut me down, did everything right in that scenario. I’ll look like a crazy person, maybe get a strike against my academic record, but it’s the right thing to do.”

It wasn’t true, of course. And Eren knew that Erwin was as big a mover in what had happened as Eren was. But Eren had to make things right, even if that meant lying and making himself look like an asshole in front of the whole university. 

Bertholdt was nodding along with him, even if he didn’t look happy about it. But Eren was surprised when Reiner stood up suddenly.

“You can’t do that, man. It’s not right.”

Reiner’s eyes were wild, and all of a sudden Eren was distinctly aware who he was talking to.

“Reiner…” Bertholdt hissed, almost in warning.

“No!” Reiner shouted, shutting Bertholdt up. He turned back to Eren. “You can’t just… I dunno, fall on your own sword for that asshole, Eren. He _used_ you, and now you’re just gonna let him get away with it!”

“Used me?” Eren growled, feeling shock and a little anger surge through him. “I’m not a kid, Reiner. We both made the choice to see each other, and I know he cares about me.”

“Then where is he now?”

And fuck, Reiner had a point. But Eren wasn’t backing down, the knee-jerk reaction to defend Erwin coursing through him.

“That’s not fair and you know it. Erwin’s got his whole career to think about, and-”

“And you’re gonna take all the blame and get punished for something that’s not your fault! If Erwin cared at all about you, then he’d be here with _you_, and the two of you would be able to work out a strategy together!”

It wasn’t just anger now. Reiner had struck a nerve, because even if he didn’t want to admit it, Eren knew that on some level he was right. It wasn’t all up to him, some of this was on Erwin too. But Eren also knew that he had to make this right for the both of them.

Reiner was on a roll, though, and he didn’t stop when Eren failed to answer.

“This is what people like him _do_, Eren. They get inside your head, make you think shit like this is _your_ idea, when in reality you’re playing right into their hands. I bet Erwin’s got this all planned out, and you’re just some-”

“Shut up!”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Eren who screamed, but Bertholdt. The man in question was staring at Reiner, eyes wide and a look of astonishment stretched across his features.

“Reiner, what’s _wrong_ with you? Look at him, man.”

Eren hadn’t even realised that his eyes were welling up with tears.

To his credit, Reiner did look a little chastised. But that guilt was quickly replaced with determination, and he glared back at Bertholdt.

“I’m only saying what everyone else is too afraid to say, Bert. You know it, I know it. _Everyone fucking knows it_.”

Those last few words came out as a hiss, and when Bertholdt faltered in his defence, everything suddenly became too much.

“I have to go,” Eren was blurting out, standing up from his spot on the couch and making for the door.

He heard Bertholdt protesting behind him, and even Reiner shouted for him to stay, but Eren needed to get out. He was slamming the door behind him a second later, and was thankful when Reiner and Bertholdt didn’t follow him.

He just needed some time to cool off and think things through, that was all.

But Eren wasn’t sure where he was going, and as he wandered through the streets of Trost, everything seemed to come crashing down on him at once. His life was a mess, filled with too much drama and more secrets than he could count.

Before Eren could realise what he was doing, he was pulling out his phone and dialling his mother.

“Eren!” Carla Yeager exclaimed, picking up on the first ring. “It’s so good to hear from you!”

And even just hearing her voice had a wave of calmness washing over Eren. He’d made the deliberate decision not to tell either of his parents about everything that was going on. He’d almost been expecting that he’d have to, but when the university had said that it was up to him, the relief had been immediate.

Eren didn’t want his parents to see him the way he knew others did. Not to mention, neither of them even knew he was gay in the first place.

“H-hey mom,” Eren stuttered, feeling overly emotional all over again. He’d arrived in one of the small parks scattered around the student district of Trost, and found a bench to sit on. At this time in the evening, not many people were out, and he probably wasn’t going to be recognised.

He must’ve sounded like a wreck, because Carla responded immediately. “Is everything okay? You sound-”

“Yeah. I just really needed to hear your voice.” Eren sniffled slightly, certain his mother could hear it.

“Oh Eren,” Carla sighed, “Baby, I know it’s tough being out there with only Mikasa for family, and we miss you so much. You know you’re welcome home any time, right?”

“I know. I just, uh… can you talk to me for a bit? Tell me about how things are back home?”

And she did. It was easily the best Eren had felt all week, listening to his mother chat away about everyday life. Despite everything good that had come out of moving to Trost, Eren found himself yearning for those simpler days, when he and Mikasa and Armin would run around Shiganshina for hours after school was done. He missed the easiness of it all, even if back then had come with its own set of worries as well.

A little while into the call, Carla called his dad to the phone, and even just hearing Grisha’s voice had made Eren emotional all over again. He’d never been that close with his father, but all at once Eren was overcome with the need to hug him tight.

Except he couldn’t, and when he reluctantly hung up from his parents several minutes later, Eren took the time to collect himself. It’d helped, to talk to his parents again, and even if they’d been unaware of the drama in his life, just hearing their voices had given him a level of clarity that he’d been needing for days now.

Wiping his eyes, Eren stood up from the bench, and steeled himself to return to Reiner and Bertholdt’s apartment.

But as he began to walk back in the direction he’d came, a voice cut through the air behind him.

“Eren?”

***

“Do you think Reiner’s right?”

The night air whipped around Eren as he stood out on the ledge, the city lights of Trost twinkling out in him. It was an amazing view, one that Eren hadn’t known existed until now, but as he turned to face the person behind him, Eren was beginning to realise there was a lot of things he didn’t know.

Taking a drag of his cigarette, Levi shrugged. “No.” A pause, and then, “but he’s also not wrong, either.”

Honestly, Eren was surprised that Levi had actually bothered to think about it. Usually, the guy was all “I don’t care,” or “fuck off and let me smoke” whenever Eren asked him things, but tonight he seemed different. There was something behind Levi’s eyes that Eren couldn’t quite decipher, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it yet or not.

Levi had taken him out to the outskirts of the city, after seeing how distressed Eren had been. And while some part of Eren had mused that Levi was gonna murder him and hide the body, he’d let it happen, if anything just to do something new for once. And he hadn’t been disappointed, with Levi leading Eren to an abandoned pumping station with a massive wall that they were now perched out on.

He’d said that it was where he went to think things over and be alone, and Eren could see why. The pumping station itself might be a shitshow, but the view was like nothing else.

“I know I sound like a crazy ex or something,” Eren continued eventually, laughing a little at himself, “but I _know_ that there was something between us. And the fact that he won’t even _speak_ to me?”

Levi stayed silent for a while, before leaning back on the rickety pylon he was propped up against.

“It’s okay to be angry, you know.”

And Eren did know that, but he hadn’t let himself feel it since this had all begun. Because to him, and clearly to Erwin, this was all his fault. Eren had been convincing himself that he had no right to be angry at anyone other than himself. But he was angry. Angry at the fuckhead that had taken and leaked the pictures of them, angry at everyone around him.

Angry at Erwin for fucking leaving him alone.

Feeling it surge through him, Eren reached down to grab a small shard of broken concrete at his feet. Then, after feeling it over in his hand, Eren hurled it as far as he could off the wall, grunting loudly in the process.

Levi stayed silent, and when Eren turned back to him, he just tossed Eren another piece of concrete.

Throw after throw, Eren continued, gradually grunting louder and louder each time, until he was all out screaming. And then with one, final throw, the energy seemed to leave him, and he slumped to the floor beside Levi.

Again, Levi let Eren recover, the rise and fall of his chest gradually slowing as he calmed down.

“I just…” Eren eventually said, not really sure where his mind was leading him. “Do you ever think about leaving this all behind? Just packing and bag and hitting the road?”

“… All the time.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Honestly?” Levi arched an eyebrow as he stubbed his cigarette out with his boot.

Eren stayed silent, knowing that Levi would eventually continue, the wind blowing softly around them.  
  


When Levi did speak up again, his voice sounded heavier than it had before. “We were thinking of leaving at one point. Me, Isabel and Farlan, before everything happened.”

Eren looked up sharply, feeling shit all over again. “I didn’t know…”

Levi scoffed. “Of course you didn’t, brat. But you’ve met my uncle, so I’m sure you can understand that shit just got too heavy for us all last year. Isabel was the driving force behind it, she’d even managed to track someone down who could make us fake IDs. And before he got all distant on us, Farlan was ready as well.”

“And you?” Eren asked.

“I hate Kenny, Eren. I always did, ever since he _miraculously_ discovered I existed. Sure, I stuck around initially because it meant not having to live on the streets, but I never for a second believed that Kenny cared about me.”

Eren could see why. In the short time he’d spent with Kenny Ackerman, Eren could tell that the man was ruthless and cunning, and probably didn’t give a damn about anyone other than himself. For Levi, being around Kenny was probably like waiting for a bomb to go off, and that’s what had Eren confused.

“So why are you still here?” He asked.

“Heh,” Levi chuckled, and when he looked up at Eren, there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. “That’s that million dollar question, isn’t it?”

Eren didn’t say anything, waiting for Levi to go on.

He did eventually, even if it was guarded. “I’m not going back to live on the streets, Eren. When I do leave, it’ll be with enough power and money to make something of myself.”

Then, Levi turned to look at Eren head on. “Never let anyone play you for the fool, Eren. I don’t know if Reiner’s right or not and frankly, it’s not important. For all you know, your sweet, old professor is balling his eyes out at the thought of losing you too.”

“What _is_ important is that regardless of the thought behind it, _you’re_ the one who’s powerless here. You’re suffering because Erwin lets you suffer. So screw him. For once, stop thinking about what some guy wants of you, and just do what you want to do.”

The words cut through Eren like ice, and even as he had the urge defend Erwin, he found that the words died on his tongue.

Because Levi was right. He was fucking right, and Erwin, Reiner and everyone else was wrong, including Eren for letting himself wallow in misery for so long.

He was done being the victim and letting everyone else tell him what to do.

Now was the time to rise up and make something of himself.

***

Eren didn’t go back to Reiner and Bertholdt’s place.

Bertholdt had told him that Reiner was sorry, when he’d called. But Eren didn’t have the energy to face either of them, not when he wasn’t sure what he’d end up saying in return. So he’d instead trudged his way back to his dorm when Levi had dropped him back off on campus.

“Eren?” Jean had said when he’d opened the door to their room. “I thought you were staying at Bert and Reiner’s?”

Eren was such a shit friend. He barely given Jean a night off from the catastrophe that was his life, and yet here he was back again, ready to give him hell all over again.

He didn’t say anything at first, simply shouldering past Jean and into their room. When he turned around, Jean was still standing at the door, looking a mix of confused and annoyed.

“What’s gotten into-”

“Get _fucking mad_ at me, Kirschtein.”

Jean just stared in shock, before blinking. “What?”

“I deserve it,” Eren shot back immediately. “Mikasa won’t say anything to upset me, but I know you want to. That night I got home late, I lied to you. I went home with Erwin. We didn’t have sex then, but I was a shit friend and I lied. And then this weekend I went to his beach house and we fucked six ways til-”

“Alright, asshole. Just shut up for a second,” Jean cut in, holding a hand to stop him.

And now Eren just felt silly, blabbering away like a child when it was clear that Jean knew exactly what he’d meant.

Jean was silent for a few more seconds, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. When he did glance up at Eren again, he could see the genuine sadness in his roommate’s eyes.

“Despite what you think, I’m not an idiot, Yeager. It didn’t take a genius to see that you were sleeping or at least trying to sleep with your professor.”

Confused, Eren tilted his head to the side. “Then why didn’t you call me out?”

“Because the world doesn’t revolve around you, Eren! I asked you, and you lied to me. End of story. I’m not going to chase you around and wipe your ass for you. I’ve got my own shit to deal with.”

Eren had arrived here expecting to be yelled at, but somehow, this was even worse. Jean wasn’t angry, he was just… hurt.

“Look,” Jean continued after a second, when Eren ducked his head to wipe his eyes. “I know I can be a hothead. God knows you are too. And whatever we are to each other, it’s special, y’know? I honestly don’t know how we didn’t end up hating each other.”

Despite himself, Eren cracked a grin at that, before pausing. “You don’t hate me?”

“Of course I fucking don’t!” Jean shouted back, finally giving Eren some of that anger he’d been hoping for, even if it wasn’t in the way he’d expected. “God, do you really think I’m that kind of person? Yeah, you fucked up, and a lot of this shit could have probably been avoided if you just _talked_ to Mikasa or me.”

Eren nodded, even though he didn’t need to.

“But you’ve been through hell these past few days, and I’m not gonna turn on you. So just… I don’t know, stop feeling sorry for yourself and let us help you, dammit.”

Fuck. Since when had Jean Kirschtein become the voice of reason in Eren’s life?

But the words rang true, and before he knew it, they were hugging. Despite the fact that Jean was several inches taller than him, Eren had never really felt like the smaller one in his company before. But he did now, and he let his friend envelope him with his arms, pressing his face into Jean’s shoulder.

God, he’d needed that.

When Eren pulled back, he was misty eyed.

“I am sorry, though. You know that right?”

“Good. Because I don’t give out that sappy shit for free, and you’re not getting it from me again.”

***

**Now.**

Thankfully, the crowds at the GSA began to die off a little after midnight, at least enough that they weren’t being overwhelmed with drunk students seeking more alcohol at every second. The music was still playing, and there was still a decent crowd of people, but the busiest was no doubt behind them now.

After handing a cup of beer to one of the guys from the football team he vaguely recognised, Eren sighed and relaxed for a second.

With all the hustle of the last half-hour, he’d almost forgotten what he’d done. Almost.

When no one approached the makeshift bar for more drinks, Eren glanced over to the GSA pavilion. Levi was leaning against one of the corner poles, taking a smoke break. He was staring straight at the ground, and despite the impassive mask on his face, Eren had a pretty good idea of what was running through his head. He fought back the momentary surge of anger. It wasn’t the time for it, not now.

“Go on, then.”

Eren turned, to where Moblit was opening a new slab of beer, stacking cans along one of the tables. When Eren just quirked an eyebrow, Moblit huffed and tipped his head in Levi’s direction.

“You’ve been staring at him all night. Go have some fun, we can manage here.”

“I don’t-” Fuck, Eren hadn’t realised he’d been doing that. In actuality, it only helped strengthen their alibi, so he was glad someone had mistaken his look for puppy love, even if it was anything but.

“Awwwww,” Petra giggled, and even Eld cracked a smile. “Look how red he is. It’s cute!”

“Hey, Levi’s pretty into the kid as well, so cut him some slack.”

“That just makes it even cuter!”

Eren just chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. God, if only they knew the real reason, he was so flustered.

“Are you sure?” he asked Moblit, turning away from the cackling couple. “I’ve been pretty AWOL all night, I kinda owe you guys the help.”

But Moblit just smiled. “Nah, us oldies are meant to do most of the work, anyway. You’re a freshman, Eren. You’ll get your turn in a few years.”

“Then why does Levi get out of- Ow!” Eld shouted, as Petra punched him, trying to get him to take the hint.

“Thanks, guys. I mean it.” Eren grinned weakly, feeling a little guilty that he was taking advantage of their generosity.

By the time he wandered over to Levi, Eren was back in game mode.

“Wanna dance?”

Levi looked up, frowning. “Not really.”

“Me neither. But we need some more proof that we were here, so come on.”

God, the last thing Eren felt like doing was dancing with Levi. With everything that had happened, he’d pushed Levi’s role in all of this out of his mind until now. Again, he knew it was small in comparison to Eren _killing someone_, but it still made him seethe.

But he took Levi’s hand and lead him towards the mass of dancing bodies, ignoring Petra and Eld’s catcalling from afar. Levi didn’t fight him, but clearly wasn’t happy about it either, and was still frowning when they reached their destination. They were towards the front of the crowd, near the stage that housed the DJ that Hanji had somehow managed to book for the night.

The music was loud and upbeat, and even if dancing was the last thing Eren felt like doing, he turned and put his hands around Levi’s shoulders, grinding their hips together. Levi, after a second, put his hands on the small of Eren’s back, fingers ghosting over the swell of his ass. They blended into the mass of bodies around them, just another pair of students drunk and grinding on each other.

As Levi gripped him closer, Eren winced at the pain in his chest. With everything that had been going on, he’d almost forgotten about his own injuries, but he couldn’t focus on them now, not until they’d gotten through this nightmare of a night.

“Maybe I should wear your clothes more often,” Eren said as the bass thumped in his ears. “My chest looks amazing in this shirt.” It was meant to be a joke, but Eren couldn’t keep the venom out of his voice, now that he’d finally had time to think about all Levi was at fault for.

They danced for a few more minutes in silence, before Levi was pulling his phone out of his pocket to check a text.

“Everything okay?” Eren asked.

“Yeah, it’s just Kenny’s guy,” Levi answered.

“Everything okay? I thought the clean-up looked fine?”

“Yeah,” Levi said, before looking to the ground. “This is about something else. Don’t worry about it.”

Eren nodded, even if he didn’t believe him. But as Levi went to put his phone away, an idea crossed his mind.

“Just wait a sec,” he said, stopping Levi from putting his phone away. Levi looked at him in confusion, but Eren was already turning to the random person on their right.

“Excuse me,” he called out over the music, putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder. She turned to face them, and Eren could tell that she was drunk, and probably on something else as well. “Could you take a picture of us, please?”

The girl just stared for a second, before nodding cheerfully. “Of course!”

Eren turned back to grab Levi’s phone, ignoring the scowl on the other man’s face. After passing it off to the girl, Eren jumped back to posed beside Levi, slinging a hand around his waist.

“Smile!” The girl drunkenly cheered, as Eren did so, forcing an overly exaggerated grin. He could tell that Levi was just staring at the camera, but to be honest, it was as good as he could have hoped. Then, the girl surprised him by continuing. “Now a kissing one!”

Levi went to open his mouth, but Eren was already agreeing with her and turning to face him.

“Come on, _babe_,” he sneered, taking cruel pleasure in how much he was pissing Levi off even just saying the word. “Everyone will love this,” he added, trying to get his point across.

Again, Levi didn’t look happy, but he didn’t refuse either. And that was how, just a few seconds later, the girl took another photo of them, Eren leaning down to peck Levi on the lips like some sort of domesticated couple, when really they were anything but.

After thanking the girl, Eren quickly shot the two pictures off to Petra, adding in a few heart eye emojis to give her the hint that it was him sending them, and not Levi. When he finally gave the phone back to Levi, the other man didn’t look happy.

“I fucking hate you,” he growled out.

“It’s cringe as fuck, I know,” Eren shouted over the music. “But she’ll spread them around, and then everyone will remember us being here.”

He was right, and Levi knew it, even if they both hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some interesting developments for this one, and lots of heartfelt moments between Eren, Jean and Levi. And maybe a few read between the lines moments too... Hopefully you guys liked it, as always, I love hearing the theories and feedback in the comments.
> 
> Next chapter is a slight change of pace, but there's still gonna be some very important plot developments. See ya next week!


	15. Avoiding Problems and Creating New Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We’re talking first times now, so everyone better have a story ready.”
> 
> Eren heard Jean groan, and a second later Marco giggled.
> 
> “Like, as in sex?”
> 
> Connie shot him a deadpan stare. “Nah, as in the first time we all killed someone. Of course I’m talking sex, you numbskull.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's update time! We're getting closer and closer to catching up to the night of the murder, and I'm super excited to start revealing some stuff. I'm really excited to be posting this chapter, as there's something at the end I've been sitting on for a while now.
> 
> Also, I hit 2 big milestones this week! The first is that this fic is officially at 100K words, which might not seem like a massive deal, but it is for me. The next longest fic I've written is only 30K (for another fandom), so this is soooo exciting for me. Never really thought I'd make it this far, which brings me to my next point...
> 
> ... I've finished writing this entire thing! So yep, I can officially say that there won't be any more delays between posting, because its doooone! Again, I've only ever written drabbles, smut compilation works or unfinished WIPs before this, do I'm very happy to say that I finished this. Especially after the massive hiatus I took, when I was a little worried I'd never end up finishing.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the massive Author's Note (I'm sure most of you don't care, but ah well). On with the chapter!

**Then. 7 Days Ago**

“Home sweet home, guys!”

Eren looked up from where he was unloading the rest of the luggage from the back of Connie’s van, taking in the sight before him. Sasha and Marco were standing proudly in front of a pair of tents, with a makeshift campsite set up around them.

In all the drama that had been his life lately, Eren had almost forgotten about the camping trip that Connie and Sasha had set up weeks ago, in the Dauper area that Sasha grew up in. But Connie had been adamant that it was still happening, especially when Eren had tried to get out of it by saying he was too tired (and in fairness, he was pretty fucking tired amidst everything going on).

Still, now that he was here, Eren was glad he’d come. Sasha and Marco had had no classes on Friday at all, so they had driven down in Jean’s car that morning to start setting up. It was only a 2-hour drive or so, but the ride down in Connie’s van with Connie, Mikasa and Jean had still been a nice change of pace, even if Connie was a complete control freak with his radio.

Things were better now that he’d had that talk with Jean. Surprisingly, there hadn’t been too much awkwardness following that night, and they’d quickly slipped back into their usual banter, albeit with the slightest degree of difference. Eren could tell that Jean was still struggling a little with how Eren had lied to him, and in all fairness, Eren was still struggling himself.

But they were on the path to being better now, and that was what really mattered for him and Jean.

What Eren wasn’t sure about was Mikasa. His sister was her usual self, with not even the slightest hint of animosity being directed towards him. But even if there was no sign, Eren could tell that Mikasa was holding something back. Even so, he knew his sister well enough to know that pushing her to talk would just make her clam up even more. All he could do was show her he was sorry with his actions and wait for her to come to him.

And ever since the evening he’d spent with Levi, Eren had been feeling better about the state his life was in, even if he was still unsure of what to do next. The immediate anger he’d felt towards Erwin in the moment had fizzled out somewhat, to the point that it was mainly just dull hurt that he’d been abandoned. But Eren recognised that Erwin had his own shit to worry about, and that if they were seen together after everything that had happened, it would only be another nail in the coffin for them both.

But he wasn’t out here to think about Erwin, and so Eren let himself be caught up in the excitement of setting up the campsite for the night. According to Sasha, Dauper didn’t have any real restrictions on camping, as long as no one living in the area was disturbed and they were careful with setting a fire. So they’d picked a spot that Sasha had been to with friends in the past, where they could be as loud as they wanted.

By the time they’d finished setting up and got fire started, the sky had gone dark, and Connie was pulling a clear baggie out of his backpack.

“Check it, guys. Got this straight from Levi himself.”

Marco whooped excitedly nearby, and Eren grinned a little. With everything that had been going on, a night of smoking pot would be right up his alley, especially given that he hadn’t indulged in a fair while now. It was still a little weird to hear that Connie had been talking to Levi, but then again, Levi was a dealer, so it made sense.

But then another thought crossed his mind, and he glanced at Mikasa, who had paused in pulling out camping chairs from the van.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

It was no secret that Mikasa didn’t partake in any of the stuff that Eren usually did, except for drinking of course. Most of the times he had done something heavier lately, she hadn’t been around, and so he felt a little uncomfortable about putting her in the position to have to deal with him. Because it was a pretty well-known fact now among their group that a high Eren was a crazy Eren, no matter what he was taking.

However, Mikasa nodded once, and then surprised him again.

“I think I might join you guys tonight, actually.”

Eren couldn’t tell whether she was being serious or not.

To his utter shock, however, she wasn’t kidding, and barely half an hour later, Eren was watching in astonishment as Connie taught her how to roll a joint.

“See?” Connie cheered as Mikasa finished rolling one. “You’re a natural!”

“She’s a natural at everything,” Eren grumbled, because it was true.

Mikasa shot a teasing look at him, and Eren sat back in wonderment as she followed Connie’s lead in taking a drag from the joint. It was so unlike her, and Eren couldn’t tell whether it was because Mikasa genuinely wanted to try it out, or whether she was doing this in some misguided attempt to appease Eren after the week he’d had. God, he hoped it was the former, because surely she knew that she didn’t need to try and conform to his lifestyle to make him happy, right?

Still, Eren got a kick of delight when Mikasa coughed up the smoke, wheezing and blinking tears from her eyes.

“Oh shut up,” she scoffed when he kept laughing at her.

As she passed the joint on to a giggling Marco, Eren smirked. “I’m just happy I finally found something that I’m better than you at.”

“Yes, congratulations, Eren,” Mikasa replied dryly. “You now have two things you’re the champion of, smoking weed and sucking dick. You must be so proud.”

Connie snorted loudly, and Jean choked on the water he’d just taken a sip of. Eren laughed too, because it was too soon for the weed to be having an effect on her, so why the fuck was she this sassy all of a sudden?

But he just crossed his hands behind his head and leant back in his chair. “Damn right I am.”

They continued to pass the two joints they’d made around, until everyone was all giggly and fuzzy. Eren didn’t really get the munchies when he was baked, but most of the others did, so it wasn’t long before all the packets of chips were being opened and everyone was laughing around the tiny fire they’d managed to build. As expected, Sasha needed about three bags to herself, but Eren had been surprised at how feisty Marco had gotten, hoarding a six-pack of donuts for himself in his little corner of the circle.

Eren was a little alarmed at how quickly they seemed to be going through food, but they’d also only decided to smoke on the first night, so that they’d be good to drive home on the Sunday morning.

Fuck, it was almost Sunday, the day he’d been waiting to arrive for weeks.

The day Armin was coming to visit.

“Are you meeting him at the airport?” Sasha asked later than night, after Eren had babbled about how excited he was.

“Yup! Me and Mikasa are taking Jean’s car and then we’re gonna go out for dinner afterwards.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” Sasha grinned around a mouthful of chips. “I’m excited to meet him, he sounds sweet.”

“He’s our best friend,” Mikasa added, looking relaxed in her own chair. She’d taken to the pot relatively well, all things considered, although Eren had yet to see her get too giggly or anything like that.

“Have you, uh…” Marco began after a second, before faltering. When Eren looked at him quizzically, he continued. “Um, does he know about everything with Professor Smith?”

And fuck, didn’t that just bring Eren’s mood crashing right back down. Because he hadn’t been thinking about Erwin all evening so far, and even as he sat there in silence, he could see Jean whacking Marco upside the back of his head.

“Idiot!”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Eren cut in when Marco looked like a kicked puppy. “Yeah, I’ve called him a couple of times this week. It’s good, because Armin’s kinda separated from the whole situation, and he’s always been a pretty objective guy, so he gives good advice. He’s the one who convinced me to come on this trip, actually.”

“Then I love the kid already,” Connie cheered as he waved the joint he was holding in the air, before taking another hit.

Armin actually had been a big help over that week for him. He knew Eren just as well as Mikasa did, and Eren had been thankful that he hadn’t wasted any time in being disappointed with him, or asking why him why he’d done it in the first place. Armin knew that Eren was a free spirit and a bit of a wild kid that had to be tamed, and so had only focused on helping Eren run through ways to cope with the stress that had been placed on his shoulders.

He’d approve that Eren was coping by getting high, right?

What Eren hadn’t realised was that with his silence, the entire group had fallen quiet around him. He shot Marco a comforting smile, who was still looking a little guilty, to let him know that he wasn’t upset or anything.

“Okay, okay,” Connie shouted all of a sudden, cutting through the awkward moment. “We didn’t come out here to be sad boys and girls, so stop it with that shit. We’re talking first times now, so everyone better have a story ready.”

Eren heard Jean groan, and a second later Marco giggled.

“Like, as in sex?”  
  


Connie shot him a deadpan stare. “Nah, as in the first time we all killed someone. _Of course_ I’m talking sex, you numbskull.”

A few people laughed at that, and Eren leant back in his camp chair. “Hey, come on man. I’m not doing this with my _sister_ here!”

That got a few boo’s from the group, mainly from Connie and Sasha, but Eren knew he was doing the right thing. After what she’d almost had to endure as a kid, Eren knew that Mikasa thought about things like sex differently to most people, and he didn’t want to have to put her in an uncomfortable situation if he could otherwise help it.

But when he looked to Mikasa, he was surprised to see her looking amused.

“Why’s that, Eren? Afraid I’m gonna learn something embarrassing?”

Oh my god. Why had Eren let this woman get high?

Sasha snorted loudly, and Connie cheered. “Fuck yeah, Mikasa. That’s what we like to hear!”

Eren had never seen Mikasa like this. She was so… relaxed. So even though it was probably gonna get real awkward, he swallowed and decided he liked this good mood of hers. Turning back to Connie, he sighed.

“Ugh, fine. But you’re going first.”

Connie just shrugged. “Alright. Let me regale you all with a tale of two boys, one short and stunningly attractive, the other…”

The story itself was nothing special, but Connie had been right about it lifting the mood. By the time he’d finished telling the over-dramatized story of an after-school hook-up, Eren was laughing alongside everyone else. The weed had gotten to him, and even though he could still feel all his worries brimming in the background, they suddenly didn’t seem quite so important.

God, Eren was so lucky to have friends like this.

Sasha went next, and to no one’s surprise, the story of her first girlfriend sounded more like she was describing a juicy cut of meat. Marco told them all about how he’d first gotten head behind his high school dumpster, only to have to hide in said dumpster when he was almost caught by the teacher.

“Okay, that’s fucking gross,” Connie snickered, before looking on. “Mikasa?”

Eren tensed up, ready to jump to her defence, but was once again surprise when Mikasa shrugged.

“It was a guy at our high school, Daz.”

And okay, what the fuck?

“Daz?!” Eren crowed, as the others cheered and laughed. “Since when did you bang Daz?”

Mikasa looked at him with knowing eyes. “Around the same time you were sneaking out with Sam and Thomas.”

“Ooooooh, she got you good, man!” Connie snickered.

Yeah, Eren supposed that was fair. He’d been a bit of a loose cannon in their last year of high school, and hadn’t exactly been the best friend to either Mikasa or Armin. They’d made up and talked it out before coming to Trost, of course, but this was yet another moment where Eren had to realise that that he wasn’t the only one with secrets.

And then another thought presented itself.

“Holy fuck, is that why he kept following you around before graduation?”

Mikasa just smiled at him.

“But I thought you weren’t… you know?”

“Interested in dating?” Mikasa finished for him. “I’m still not. I just wanted to see what being with a guy was like, especially because you seemed so into it.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jean said all of a sudden. “You not into dating, like at all?”

Mikasa shook her head. “No. I’ve never really wanted to date a guy. At least, not yet.”

The resulting squeal that cut through the air was deafening, and Eren was pretty sure he could see literal hearts in Sasha’s eyes.

“Ohmygod, did you just say that you wouldn’t date a guy?! Does that mean that...”

She continued to babble on, mostly of her words fast to understand, but Eren was pretty sure he got the gist of it. Mikasa, surprisingly, just reached for the joint that was handed to her by Connie, before taking a long, deep drag.

When she finished, she passed it on to Marco.

“I wouldn’t say I’m opposed to the thought of dating a girl.”

Okay, Eren needed to get the weed away from this girl, before she blew his mind even more. Because where the fuck had _this_ Mikasa been all his life?

Sasha looked like she was about to have an aneurism due to sheer joy, and Connie laughed.

“Fucking hell. Eren, it’s your turn, quickly before Sasha’s vag gets as hungry as her stomach.”

He got a hard punch in the shoulder from Sasha for that, but Eren was thankful for the distraction. He had enough to process as it was, and watching Sasha attempt to proposition a high Mikasa was not something he’d been prepared to deal with tonight.

So he told his story of blowing Samuel Linke-Jackson in the locker room, along with what came out of that, namely the relationship he had with Thomas. Eren could feel Mikasa’s eyes on him as he told the story of how they broke up, which wasn’t really part of the game but Marco had insisted on knowing.

“Thomas was a closeted asshole, and eventually decided he was straight again. The end,” Eren finished.

He definitely wasn’t going to tell them what came after. Especially not when the mood was so good.

But the others seemed content with his answer, and Marco grinned wide.

“Alrighty, lucky last, Jean!”

And Eren knew that Jean hated shit like this. He was a private guy, one that didn’t really like to discuss his sex life with others. Not to mention, he still seemed hell bent on not letting anyone know about how he and Eren helped each other out in their dorm at night.

Like clockwork, Jean groaned again and reached for the joint that was dangling in Marco’s fingers.

“It was just some girl in school. Nothing special.”

“Come on,” Sasha egged on, looking devious. “There’s gotta be more to it than that. A stick in the mud like you has to have fucked it up in some way, right?”

Eren couldn’t help it, and giggled loudly, only for Jean to shoot him a glare.

“We had sex. That was it,” Jean continued, clicking his jaw shut.

“Nup, not gonna cut it,” Marco quipped, surprising Eren with how mischievous he sounded. He’d expected this from Connie and Sasha, but not him. “Give us the goss, Kirschtein.”

When Jean squirmed a little, Connie, Sasha and Marco began to chant.

“Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean…”

Unable to help himself, Eren quietly joined in, and saw Mikasa smiling softly at the whole ordeal. The chanting continued, gradually getting louder, until Jean finally snapped.

“Alright, fine!” When the chanting died off, he sighed loudly. “I just… I dunno. Got too excited and I… cameinmyunderwear.”

The roar from the group was almost deafening, and while Jean was bright red in the face, he could tell that the guy was not too embarrassed, especially when they all clapped _for_ him.

“Yeah boy!” Connie cheered.

When Jean ducked down to look at his shoes, Eren decided to give him an out. “At least you didn’t end up with your dick out in piles of trash, man.”

“Hey!” Marco yelled in mock offence, and like that the tension was dispelled.

“Besides,” Sasha added, “I’m sure you’re good in the sack now, right? Have you gotten with anyone since starting here?”

Oh shit. Eren saw Jean tense up, almost looking like he wanted to bolt, and all at once he felt sorry for him again. Everyone was staring at him, and Eren noticed that Marco looked especially interested, but Eren had long since gotten used to how transparent and naive those two were with each other.

But just as Eren was getting ready to bail him out by starting a new game, Jean’s frown turned into a smirk.

“No one so far, unless you count me batting Yeager away from my dick every second night.”

“What?!”

For a second, Eren had thought that Jean had just thrown him under the bus, but then he caught the tentatively playful look in the guy’s eyes, and realised that it wasn’t that at all.

This was Jean trying to be more open.

So once the commotion died down, Eren took a drag of the joint and grinned. “Yeah, I’ve been showing him the ropes a bit.”

“Oh please, I’ve seen all the ropes you have to offer.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

And just like that, Eren and Jean had descended into their back and forth once again, until they were in stitches and the group around them were staring in bewilderment.

“Why am I not surprised,” Mikasa muttered beside him.

But Connie frowning slightly. “Fuck, so you’ve had sex with _everyone_ except me?”

When he said it like that, it really did sound bad. When you counted Jean, Marco, Reiner _and_ Bertholdt, not to mention Levi, it really did seem a little bad that Eren had been through so many guys in the GSA.

Jean was cackling madly now, and Eren spluttered a little. “That’s not true. I haven’t slept with… Moblit yet.”

Marco snorted, and Connie just shot him a ‘fuck off’ stare.

“What the hell, dude. I’m hot as shit!”

“In my defence, you’re usually passed out by the time I go home with someone,” Eren reasoned, because that was in part true. It wasn’t like he’d been actively avoiding sleeping with Connie, and he _was_ actually pretty attractive. The thought had honestly just never occurred to Eren, especially given that Connie and Sasha usually paired off to eat food when they were drunk, rather than try to get with someone.

“Just because I value kebabs over cocks doesn’t mean I don’t like both!”

It was clear that Connie was just joking with him, and so Eren let himself be drawn into the easy banter with the group. The weed was helping, for sure, but he felt so at home with these five other people that Eren was just glad for their company.

“Guys,” Connie shouted about half an hour later, when they’d all been chatting away and joking and smoking too much weed. “Can I just say, I’m so glad we’re all friends.”

It was kind of stereotypical for being high, and Eren could see the rosy red tint to Connie’s cheeks, but Eren was also just as high, so he cheered alongside everyone else.

“I fucking love you guys,” he laughed breathlessly, basking in how thoroughly baked he was.

They had the music playing pretty loudly, and it’s a good thing that Sasha was able to scout out an isolated spot for them, because Eren’s pretty sure that they’d be getting complaints if they were any closer to civilisation. Still, he sang along with the others to whatever pop songs playing, getting way too over the top at the high notes and making himself giggle with how ridiculous they were all being.

As time ticked over, though, people around him began to either get restless or tired, and eventually Marco stood up from his chair.

“I’m gonna go for a walk, anyone wanna join?”

To the surprise of no one at all, Jean offered to go with him, and the silent communication between Eren, Mikasa, Sasha and Connie was enough to let them go off alone. With any luck, the two of them would finally get their heads out of their asses and suck each other off or something.

They only had two tents between the six of them, so Connie and Sasha had originally intended to sleep in the van, but as the minutes went by and Sasha began to get more and more drowsy, Eren didn’t have the heart to force her into it.

“You take the tent with Mikasa, Sash,” he offered when Sasha was making her way to the van.

“Are you sure?” When Eren just nodded, Sasha grinned tiredly and gave him a hug, before heading to the tent.

“That’s okay with you, right?” Eren asked Mikasa once Sasha was out of earshot. “I think she’s too tired to jump you tonight.”

Mikasa yawned a little, before reclining back in her chair further. “How come you keep thinking that I _don’t_ want her to jump me.”

Connie was watching them with wide eyes, and Eren groaned.

“I swear I’m never getting high with you again,” he muttered. “You’re the devil.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Are you crashing in the van with me then?” Connie asked a few minutes later. The three of them had been looking up at the constellations, with Mikasa telling them about the few her mother had taught her as a child.

Looking away from the stars, Eren shrugged. “If that’s cool with you, dude. Fingers crossed Jean and Marco will actually fuck tonight, so they should get a tent.”

“Ugh, fingers crossed they _don’t_,” Mikasa muttered. “Can that wait until I’m not ten feet away and separated only by a few sheets of canvas?”

Connie snickered, and Eren shrugged. “You’re probably right. And Jean neighs like no tomorrow in the moment as well.”

There was a laugh behind them, and Eren glanced over his shoulder to see Jean and a laughing Marco returning. Jean sneered at him.

“Stop bitching when _you’re_ the screamer, Yeager.”

Eren was pretty sure that they didn’t hear the earlier parts of the conversation, because neither of them seemed that uncomfortable. Still, he flipped Jean off as the two guys went to their tent.

“Night guys,” Marco shouted, zipping it up behind them.

As the air went silent again, Connie turned to Eren and Mikasa.

“That’s gotta be a red flag that they’re fucking, right?”

Eren scoffed. “I think you’re underestimating how emotionally constipated Jean is, dude.”

Mikasa smiled, before standing up and stretching. “I think I’m gonna head to bed as well.” She gave Eren a kiss on the cheek, before hugging Connie. “Don’t stay up too late, you two.”

“G’night,” Eren replied softly, and then it was just him and Connie.

They chatted and intermittently smoked for a while longer, until it was well past 2 in the morning and they were both yawning. Connie kicked dirt over the fire, putting it out, while Eren walked around the makeshift campsite and collected the rubbish they’d left behind. By the time he was done, Connie had finished setting up the foldout mattress in the back of the van, and Eren climbed in beside him.

They settled down in silence for a few seconds, Eren wearing only a pair of boxers, while Connie had a loose-fitting tank top on as well. And then Eren finally spoke, at last acknowledging the elephant in the room.

“It’s not that I don’t find you attractive, you know that right? You’re a fucking knockout, dude, our paths just never lined up in that way before this.”

Connie rolled over, so that he was on his side and leaning on one elbow.

“Dude, don’t worry about it. I’ll admit that when I found out you and Jean had fooled around, I was a little hurt. But I get it now.”

“Yeah?” Eren replied, unable to stop the small flutter of excitement that rushed through him. “You, uh… you wanna?”

“What, now?” Connie asked in shock. “What about you and Professor Smith?”

And Eren was aware that that was a thing still, but he was also aware that Erwin had practically dumped him before anything official could actually happen. For all he knew, Erwin was off fucking his worries away with _Nile Dok_ or some other asshole. Besides, if Eren was going to get over him anytime soon, then hooking up with someone would do more help than hindrance.

“You really think that’s gonna be a thing still?” Eren replied, and Connie snickered a little.

“Sorry, not trying to be mean. But yeah, you’re probably right about that.”

And then Connie was leaning in and pressing his lips to Eren’s, and Eren grinned against his mouth. Yeah fuck, this was a long time coming, and Eren let Connie control the kiss, licking into his mouth and over his own tongue. He stroked over Connie’s arm and then his side, feeling how small the guy was under his touch.

“Fuck,” Connie panted when the separated, and he glanced over Eren’s torso. “You have _the best_ body, dude.”

Eren blushed a little, but groaned as his cock twitched in his boxers, and Connie tentatively rubbed a hand over it.

That got a groan from Eren, and he snuggled back further into the uncomfortable mattress. But Connie was only just getting started, and he rolled over so that he was straddling Eren’s hips, grinding down onto his bulge.

“Probably not gonna happen tonight,” Connie whispered after they kissed again, “but sometime soon I’d really like you to fuck me.”

“Yeah shit,” Eren hissed, bucking into the cleft of Connie’s ass. “Fuck, I’m so keen.”

“Fuck yeah,” Connie rasped, before leaning in for another kiss. Against his lips Connie grinned. “Wanna know a secret?”

Eren nodded, a little desperately.

When Connie pulled back, he was snickering. “I’m still really fucking high.”

And that had Eren cackling loudly, because he was still kinda high too. Not as much as before, that was for sure, but enough that he still found himself laughing at something which wasn’t really that funny.

When they died down, Connie nibbled at his bottom lip.

“Wanna know another secret?”

Eren couldn’t help it, and giggled. “Yeah, tell me.”

But this time there wasn’t a joke, and Connie smirked wickedly. “I give really good head.”

There was a cocky edge in his voice, and all Eren wanted to do was kiss the smirk off his face. But then Connie was shuffling in bed and kissing his way down Eren’s body, lips pecking at his left nipple as he went. He couldn’t help but groan, watching in faded awe as the other man nipped lightly at his skin and licked over his abs, before finally pulling Eren’s boxers down and tucking the waistband under his balls. As he licked over the head of Eren’s cock, Connie’s left arm wrapped around the shaft while more cold fingers ghosted up the side of Eren’s leg.

Eren groaned, letting himself bathe in the sensation of the mouth on him as Connie sunk his lips down. Connie’s lips were perfectly suctioned, his tongue also doing its part in massaging Eren as the man bobbed up and down. Eren instinctively reached for Connie’s hair, but seeing as Connie had a buzz-cut, instead settled for massaging his scalp with his fingers. More moans jolted from Connie at that, reverberating around Eren’s cock and making him gasp.

“Fuck, Con. You’re good at this.”

And god, Eren just loved the way Connie looked right now, cheeks slightly red (from either the cold or the weed, he wasn’t sure), lips bright and plush. He looked so perfect, and as he pulled off Eren’s cock to lick at his balls, Eren traced his fingers down the side of Connie’s face to trace his jawline.

“Fuuuuuuuuck,” he drawled, the fuzziness of the weed enhancing the tickle of Connie’s tongue on his balls.

And despite the fact that his face was pressed against Eren’s balls, Connie was snickering, because that’s what happened when they got high, apparently.

But soon Eren was gasping again as Connie’s hand wrapped around his shaft again, bringing him a little bit further back to reality as he was jacked off. The iciness of his skin was jarring in just the right way, contrasting with the way Connie would then take him back into the wet heat of his mouth, sinking down until his nose was nestled in Eren’s pubes. And it made sense, that for someone with such a big mouth (both literally and figuratively), Connie would be a whizz at giving head.

Because for all the times Connie had joked along with Eren about needing to be able to deepthroat better, the guy clearly had no trouble at all.

He could feel himself in Connie’s throat, but didn’t move, deciding it was best to not thrust his hips against Connie’s mouth. Eren simply let the man have his way with him, let him worship and service him, and it felt fucking amazing.

With long, luscious, caressing sucks, Connie’s tongue seemed to perform acrobatics around his cock. He didn’t stop, instead choosing to steadily increase his speed, building Eren up. And then he stopped, pulling back for only an instant, only long enough for Eren to whine in need before resuming. Eren felt his cock be slathered with his hot mouth and fuck, he couldn’t cope with this. It might’ve been the weed, but Connie had a power over him, the ability to suck the life out of him through his dick, and the worst part was that he knew it. It was like he could feel his soul being sucked right out of him, through his cock and down Connie’s throat.

Okay wait, that was definitely just the weed.

Even so, Eren could only stand by for the ride, body and unresponsive heavy on the mattress in contrast to Connie, who was increasing his speed with every bob of his head.

As he felt himself draw close to the edge, Eren moaned softly again.

“M’close, Con.” His voice cracked slightly as he warned the other man.

Connie only double down on his efforts, humming softly as moved his lips in repeated motions over Eren’s cock. And Eren could hear the man breathing heavily out of his nose as he went, lips suctioning, tongue licking, saliva slipping over him. It was all too much, and so before he knew it, Eren was softly swearing under his breath as he came straight into Connie’s mouth.

As he emptied his load into the hot mouth on him, Eren reflexively squeezed his eyes shut, seeing colours flash against the darkness of his vision. The euphoria he was experiencing spiked and then gradually receded as he pumped more of his seed into Connie, who didn’t stop in his ministrations. In fact, the man just pumped his hand faster and sucked harder, and eventually Eren had to whimper, the overstimulation getting too much for him.

The mouth on him suddenly disappeared, and Eren looked down to see that Connie was crawling his way back up to him. They kissed softly, and Eren could taste himself on the man’s tongue, before Connie pulled away to snuggle back into him.

“Fuck me,” Eren panted, feeling completely drained. “Remind me again why we waited this long to hook up?”

Connie laughed. “Because _someone_ was off fucking his professor which, by the way…” Connie punctuated his words by smacking Eren hard on the chest, and he gasped.

“Ow, fuck! What was that for?”

“For not telling me you got with Professor Smith! Dude, remember that I was right there fantasising with you for all those classes.”

And yeah, that was true. Eren probably owed him an apology. But then he noticed that Connie was stroking over his own bulge and had a matching wet stain on his boxers.

So Eren rolled over and kissed Connie, before glancing down. “Want me to blow you?”

To his surprise, Connie just shook his head. “Nah, uh, actually… can you tell me what he was like?”

“… Erwin?”

“Yeah- fuck. Even the fact that you call him by his name is fucking hot, dude. Was he good in bed?”

“Fucking amazing,” Eren replied truthfully, as Connie pulled his dick out of his underwear and began to stroke it. “He’s, uh, really fucking built, and he has the biggest cock you’ve ever seen.”

“Fuck,” Connie hissed, speeding his strokes up as his hips stuttered. “Was he rough with you?”

“Shit yeah. Thought I’d pass out with how rough he was being.” Eren continued to whisper stories of his time with Erwin into Connie ear, all the while pushing his tank top to the side so that he could pinch his nipple. He made sure not to say anything specific or personal, mostly because even if he had been hurt by Erwin, he still didn’t feel right giving away something that had belonged to them.

He never mentioned the collar, either.

But what he did say was enough for Connie, and a few minutes later he was blowing all over his chest, splattering his top with his own cum.

Eren grinned and nipped the shell of Connie’s ear, and by the time his cock had softened, they were both giggling madly again.

***

The next morning, Jean looked pointedly at Eren, as the two sat playing cards on the grass.

“Someone seems chipper,” he remarked, gesturing over his shoulder.

Eren looked that way, and grinned slightly. Connie was with Sasha, Marco and Mikasa, waving his arms around wildly as he was clearly telling some kind of story.

“Yeah,” Eren agreed, keeping his card close to his chest (both literally and metaphorically). “How about that.”

He didn’t glance back at Jean for a few seconds, but when he eventually did, he was unable to contain the wide smile on his face.

Jean just stared at him before rolling his eyes. “You’re the _actual worst_, Yeager, you know that right? You’re gonna be the cautionary tale I tell my future kids when I’m scaring them off from having sex.”

“Why am I the cautionary tale? I’m awesome.”

***

Forgiving Reiner had been easier than Eren had imagined.

It was hard to stay mad at him, in spite of everything. Because as much as Reiner was loud and had ran his mouth about Erwin, Eren knew that it was coming from the fact that he cared about Eren and didn’t want to see him hurt. If anything, the real reason it’d been such a hard pill for Eren to swallow was because he knew that Reiner’s words had some truth to them.

The fact that Reiner and Bertholdt were amazing in the bedroom didn’t hurt, either.

And Eren should’ve been a little embarrassed at how quickly he folded when he’d arrived at their apartment. He’d only intended to swing by to pick up some of the stuff he’d left behind earlier that week. After all, he and Mikasa were heading to the airport that night to collect Armin, and so sex shouldn’t have been something to consider.

But there Eren was anyway, sitting naked on their bed while Reiner and Bertholdt showered together. He’d been in there with them, of course, but after the actual process of getting clean had developed into yet more touching (mostly on Reiner’s part), Eren had had to duck out. If he wanted to get back to his dorm on time to meet Mikasa, and not piss her off, then he couldn’t afford to wait around any longer.

After the camping trip and his time with Connie, it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Sure, there was all the shit with Erwin still to deal with, and Eren knew deep down that despite everything, he’d still take him back if given the opportunity. But with every passing day that he hadn’t heard from him, Eren had begun to realise the need to move on with his life. That didn’t necessarily mean without Erwin, per se, but Eren could recognise that endlessly pining after him wasn’t healthy, especially when they both had a disciplinary hearing to get through in a week.

He wasn’t going to sit around and wallow in his own self-pity, that just wasn’t who he was as a person.

And honestly, Levi had been a big part in taking those first few steps. Eren still wasn’t really sure what to make of him, especially now that the desperate desire to fuck him had been satisfied. Sure, Eren still thought he was hot as hell and totally fuckable, but now that the curtain had been drawn back slightly, he saw Levi differently. He was a damaged man, involved in too much shit for Eren to even comprehend, but he’d also been there for Eren too, when he’d needed him.

He could still hear the shower running in the other room, and every now and then Reiner’s bellowing laugh could be heard above the running water. It both soothed Eren and put him on edge, how seemingly content those two were together. Because as much as they seemed like the happiest couple in the world, Eren was privy to Reiner’s lies, but couldn’t say anything because he’d made the mistake of _becoming_ one of them.

Not to mention, Reiner had still seemed on edge today, even if he and Eren had cleared the air between them. Eren had chalked it up to Reiner still holding back stuff from both him and Bertholdt, but it still made him a little wary. And he could tell by Bertholdt’s worried gaze that Reiner was still spiralling down, enough at least that they both had to be there for him, more than ever now.

Eren’s phone buzzed and he looked down, cursing. He needed to get a move on.

As he got dressed, Eren looked around the room. It was messier than it’d been on his last few visits, with clothes and books strewn about. It was unlike them, because Eren knew that Bertholdt was a bit of a neat freak.

One of his socks was hanging off the corner of the dresser (which Eren still didn’t know how it’d gotten there), and as he went to grab it, his eyes couldn’t help but wander. There was all sorts of shit on top of it, from an expensive watch he’d seen Reiner wearing before to Bertholdt’s wallet.

As his eyes scanned over the dresser, a glint of silver caught Eren’s eye. It tweaked his memory, and he tentatively reached for the small piece of jewellery that was lying in a tub of assorted trinkets.

Reiner and Bertholdt laughed loudly again in the bathroom, and the shower turned off. But Eren’s brain was too busy trying to comprehend what he was seeing in front of him to focus on that.

He’d only held its counterpart for a few seconds, weeks ago. But he’d recognise it anywhere, and as he turned the ring over, the translation for the Latin inscription came flooding back to him.

‘_Every man is the artisan of his own fortune_’.

No fucking way.

***

**Now.**

Thanks to their earlier show, no one batted an eyelid when Eren and Levi bowed out of the fundraiser by 1am.

They’d been dancing in front of the DJ for most of it, and after saying goodbye to Hanji and Moblit, who were in the process of packing up the drinks station, they made their excuses and left. Ignoring the catcalls behind them, Eren wrapped an arm around Levi as they made their way off campus and towards where they’d planned to meet Armin.

The moment they reached a semi-secluded location, Eren pulled his arm back, and Levi stepped away from him, so that they were walking side by side. Eren shivered as a breeze hit his bare arms, still feeling overly exposed in Levi’s tight shirt.

“Have you heard from Armin?” Levi asked a second later as lit a cigarette.

Eren nodded, checking the message he’d received 15 minutes ago to confirm the details. “He’s got the stuff we need and is gonna pick us up.”

Levi nodded, the silence continuing to hang in the air as they walked. In actuality, Armin had had the hardest job that night, having to drive Connie’s van around the city to gather the equipment they needed, not to mention finding new number plates to switch out on the van.

After all, disposing of a body didn’t come easy, and they were all paranoid of CCTV.

Eren was still annoyed that Kenny hadn’t been able to help them out in that regard. For whatever reason, Levi had been able to get his uncle’s men to help them with the clean-up of Reiner and Bertholdt’s apartment, but Kenny had refused to do any more than that.

When Eren had asked why, Levi had just rolled his eyes and said, “would you really expect anything more of him?”

So once again, Eren was thanking every god in existence that they had Armin, because that kid was a fucking miracle. Not many hardware stores had still been open that night, and Armin had been reluctant to buy all the equipment they needed from one place, in case it roused to much suspicion. So while Eren and Levi had spent the night with their tongues down each other’s throat and Mikasa had legitimately been looking after Sasha, Armin had been forced to do the hard yards.

What’s more, Armin had said that if they played this right, they might be able to get rid of the body altogether. A disappearance case was much more favourable compared to a murder investigation, and would only help keep them safer in the long run.

As they walked, Eren decided to finally bring up what had been on his mind since the fundraiser.

“Why did you do it?”

A beat of silence. And then, “Do what?”

“You know what,” Eren grumbled, the venom in his voice feeling uncharacteristic but warranted all the same.

Levi eventually shook his head in resignation. “You know why.”

And honestly, Eren did know. But it still made his blood boil, now that the intensity of killing someone had died down a little for him to actually think.

“When this is over, I want the truth. All of it,” he eventually said, before deciding not to push any further.

They reached the edge of campus without saying another word, and honestly, Eren was grateful for the silence. To his relief, Connie’s van was parked and waiting for them in the agreed location, and as they got close, Armin got out of the driver’s seat.

“Did everything go okay?” he asked as they approached, and Eren nodded.

“Yeah, went off without a hitch.”

Petra and Hanji had ogled and cooed over the photos of him and Levi for a good long while, which had made the whole process of getting the pictures taken worth it.

“Did everything with Mikasa go okay?” he asked a second later.

“Yeah,” Armin said. “But she’s not overly happy with her job, though.”

Despite the situation, it almost made Eren snicker as he imagined a passed-out Sasha being hauled around alongside a dead body. God, the things that girl would’ve seen if only she hadn’t gotten wasted like every other night she drank.

“Okay, then,” he answered, already moving for the passenger side door. “Let’s do this.”

But as he reached the car, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Glancing down, he quirked an eyebrow in confusion when he saw who it was.

“Think I can ignore it?” he asked, holding the screen up to show Armin and Levi the caller ID.

It was Levi who answered. “We only just left the fundraiser. It’ll be suspicious if you don’t answer.”

Armin was nodding in agreement, and honestly, Eren was happy to comply. Because amidst everything that had gone on, Eren was also kind of curious to know where the fuck he’d been for the entire night entire night.

“Hey man,” Eren greeted a second later, the phone to his ear. “Where did you end up goin-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Connie interrupted, sounding deathly serious. “You need to come to the hospital, now. Something’s happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on the Reiner/Bertholdt reveal since I first introduced the ring back in chapter 2, so I'm excited to have it finally out there. As for the rest of the chapter, I know the camping trip didn't necessarily have a lot of drama, but I really wanted to show Eren in a good spot before it all went to shit. Not mention, characterisation is important (especially if some of these guys, cough-Jean-Marco-cough, are at risk). Think of this as the calm before the storm, because it's all downhill from here (in the best way of course)!
> 
> Also I just realised that I simultaneously made Connie a legitimate suspect and then cleared him as safe all within a chapter XD.
> 
> Anyway, that's it for me this week. As always, feedback constantly makes my day, and I love hearing updated theories (although I guess there might be a front runner now). Stay safe guys!


	16. The Straw that Broke the Ackerman’s Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey! You’re that guy, aren’t you?”
> 
> Eren turned around to see two girls standing on the front porch, each of them smoking a cigarette. They were vaguely familiar, if he had to be Eren would guess he’d seen them around the dorms before this, but he didn’t know either of their names.
> 
> Clearly, though, they knew him.
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “You know,” the first girl continued. “You’re the dude that fucked his teacher, right?”
> 
> Ugh, why had he even bothered?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm back! Exciting stuff this week, as this is the last chapter before catching up to the fundraiser in real time! After all this time, it's kinda crazy to think that I actually got to this point, only thing now is to (hopefully) stick the landing.
> 
> As always, I've been blown away by the support each chapter has been getting. Reading the comments constantly makes my day, so thanks again :) Now without further ado, enjoy!

**Then. 5 Days Ago**

This should’ve been be a happy moment.

That’s all Eren could think as he plastered a fake, wide grin on his face and ran to hug Armin at the arrival’s terminal of Trost airport. Mikasa was right behind him, wrapping her arms around them both as Armin struggled with his bags. And Eren was happy to see his best friend, he really was, but even as he tried to relax and take in the moment, his brain was working overtime to keep him level.

Eren hadn’t told anyone about what he’d found in Reiner and Bertholdt’s bedroom, even though he really should’ve. He’d seen both Mikasa and Jean since then, when he’d hurriedly left Reiner and Bertholdt’s place to meet Mikasa back at his own dorm.

There’d been ample time to mention something to either of them, but neither Mikasa nor Jean even _knew_about Isabel and Farlan. Granted, they’d probably heard that two Trost University students had gone missing the previous year. After all, since Levi had told Eren, he’d heard the disappearance mentioned a few times. There was even a single, ratty poster of Isabel still on the front wall of the Trost Student Union, with nearly every other one having been taken down by now. It was the only physical mention he’d seen of the disappearance, though, almost like the university had been eager to brush it under the rug.

But the bottom line was that he still had no excuse for not immediately coming clean. Even now, Eren’s thoughts were a mess, as he struggled to unravel just what he’d discovered.

_How in the actual fuck_ could Reiner and Bertholdt have Farlan’s missing ring in their room?

Eren knew it was Farlan’s, because it had to be. Levi still had Isabel’s in his possession around his neck, and unless Reiner and Bertholdt had somehow found the third ring, the one that Levi had lost years ago, then their one was Farlan’s.

And god, Levi. How would Eren ever be able to look him in the eye after this?

Levi was the _one_ person Eren couldn’t tell, not until he’d worked out the best course of action, at least. Because Levi would flip out, probably end up sending Kenny after Reiner and Bertholdt, and Eren couldn’t let that happen until he’d worked out what was going on.

It put things in perspective, in a way. Only a few hours ago the worst of his worries had been trying to repair his relationship with Erwin. And that was still important, granted, but it wasn’t a matter of life and death.

But he didn’t have any more time to dwell on the matter, because Armin was extracting himself from the group hug and grinning widely at Eren.

“I’ve missed you guys,” he said. “God, I missed you two so much.”

That anchored Eren a little, because he _had_ missed Armin. In that moment, all thoughts of missing professors and stolen rings left him, because his best friend was with him again.

“Fuck, man, it’s good to see you,” Eren rasped, feeling himself get emotional. Before either Mikasa or Armin could see, he gestured to Armin’s luggage. “Let’s get your shit into the car and then we can go eat.”

Armin groaned wistfully as Eren grabbed some of his luggage. “I _need_ a burger so badly, you don’t understand.”

“The plane ride was two hours, Armin.”

“Hey, I’ve been busy all day trying to get to the airport. I’ll complain as much as I want to!”

“Come on, you two,” Mikasa cut in with a soft smile, as she led the three of them back to where they’d parked Jean’s car.

Armin chatted away excitedly on the car ride back, enough that Eren was able to get away with staying mostly silent as he mulled over his thoughts. Not that he was really thinking anything new at this stage. He was stuck back in that endless loop, everything leading back to wondering how the fuck Reiner and Bertholdt were involved in all of this.

Fuck, how likely was it that they’d just found the ring at some pawn shop, or that it was a completely different ring entirely?

But even as he dared to think it, Eren knew it wasn’t true. The inscription was too practically scraped into his memory, and the chances of it being a coincidence were just too damn low. After all, Reiner and Bertholdt had _known_ Isabel and Farlan, at the very least as acquaintances through the GSA. Given that Farlan and Isabel also started at Trost with Levi, they would’ve had to have been the year above the guys.

Eren thought of them in that moment. Reiner, who was struggling every day with his condition yet still managed to be a ray of sunshine for them all. And Bertholdt, who put every ounce of his energy into making sure Reiner was okay and somehow still had room in his heart to care about others.

Sure, Reiner could get caught up in his own problems, and was surely keeping things from Bertholdt. But there was no way he could be a _murde_-

“Eren?”

Armin’s voice shook Eren out of his thoughts, and he flinched slightly as he turned around to face his friend in the backseat.

“Uh, yeah?”

Armin looked at his funnily for a second, before brushing it aside. “I was just saying that Mikasa’s advice with Marlowe worked. The moment I stood up to him in front of Hitch, he just crumbled!”

Eren turned to Mikasa, who despite herself was smiling proudly as she kept her attention at the wheel of the car.

Still, Eren was sceptical. “You?” He challenged. “You’re telling me that _Armin Alert_ stood up to his mean old college bully?”

“He’s not a bully,” Armin shot back, rolling his eyes. “He’s just a stubborn asshole like you, but he’s also a stubborn asshole with a crush on Hitch, so I exploited that. God, you can be so dramatic sometimes.”

Eren grinned at that, relishing in the banter. Fuck, he needed more of this, even if all it did was distract him from his real problems. Because in the grand scheme of things, he’d barely given a thought to Armin and Marlowe’s rivalry. Still, the fact that it was important to Armin made Eren feel a little guilty, even if he clearly had bigger things to worry about.

They didn’t go anywhere special for dinner, not when all Armin wanted was a burger. But it was just what Eren needed, to be able to push aside his worries for a few hours and joke around with his family.

But the conversation he’d been anticipating did come up, still. Eren saw the moment when Armin’s eyes flickered to Mikasa’s, his sister giving just the tiniest nods of agreement.

“So,” Armin began as they finished their burgers. “Have you heard from Erwin at all?”

Frowning slightly, Eren shook his head. It was weird, to be having this conversation with Armin in person. He’d talked to him over the phone, of course, but there was a level of disconnect that came with that. And Armin and Mikasa had no doubt had their own conversations about the matter in the last week, if anything just to discuss how to support him.

“Still won’t answer my calls,” he replied, trying not to show his dejection. “It’s okay, though. I’m, uh… doing better now.

He really wasn’t.

Armin and Mikasa could clearly see through his weak excuse. But what Eren didn’t expect was for Mikasa to be the one to place a hand on his arm, and when he turned to her, he could see the emotion in her eyes.

“I’ve been waiting for Armin to get here to have this conversation, Eren,” she began.

“Okay…” Eren said, gesturing for her continue even though he knew what was coming.

It was the conversation he’d been waiting to happen for the past week.

“We’re worried about you, Eren.” It was actually Armin who spoke first, leaning across the table to grab Eren’s arm as well. “You didn’t tell _anyone_ about Erwin. We didn’t even know that you were seeing someone. I can understand why you didn’t tell me, but Mikasa could’ve helped.”

Eren couldn’t meet either of their eyes.

He wanted argue the point. To tell them that he had had to keep Erwin’s secret, that telling them would’ve been betraying Erwin’s trust. But he couldn’t get the words out, not when they just didn’t ring true anymore. Now that he’d been away from Erwin for a bit, Eren could see a bit more clearly now. What point was there being with someone if he couldn’t share that with the one’s he loved most?

“I just feel like we don’t talk anymore, Eren,” Mikasa added. “I know it’s been hard for you, but with everything that’s been going on, I’m worried. You’re getting distant, like when you and Thomas began to… you know. I just want you to t-talk to me again.”

And Eren did know, immediately as the guilt set in. It’d been for different reasons back then, when he’d begun to move away from Mikasa and Armin in favour of spending time with Thomas. Sure, they’d both known about him being gay by then, but it’d still been an uncomfortable topic for Eren to bring up, to the point that he’d prefer to ignore it by blocking them out.

That method hadn’t ended well, for any of the parties involved.

He hadn’t even realised he’d been doing it again, although now it was even worse, because Mikasa didn’t have Armin to fall back on. Because with everything involving Erwin, Levi, Reiner and Bertholdt? Mikasa and Armin should’ve been his rock, but he’d ignored them.

Even in the past few weeks, Mikasa had stood by him through all of his crazy shit. She hadn’t judged him when he’d started sleeping around, or doing god knows what drugs with some of those guys. She’d just supported him, made sure he was okay and being safe.

Mikasa and Armin had slowly drifted from his mind in terms of importance, and Eren was feeling like utter shit for being the reason for the hurt in their voices. Last time this had happened, when Mikasa and Armin had tried to help him with Thomas, Eren had gotten angry and brushed them off.

Eren was done getting angry.

So he swallowed his regret down and forced a small smile on his face, even if his eyes were wet.

“You’re right,” he croaked. “Fuck, I-” He choked on his words, his voice thick. “I’ve been a shit friend. I should’ve told you both about Erwin from the start, I just… shit, I don’t even know why I didn’t.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Mikasa soothed, her silky voice washing over Eren like a wave. “Just… don’t shut us out again. P-please.”

Eren nodded, tears spilling down his cheeks. Armin was just as teary-eyed as he reached down to place his free hand over where there’s were resting.

“I won’t.”

“Good,” Armin sniffled, before cracking a smile. “Because I really hate having these talks. I end up crying more than anyone.”

Even Mikasa laughed at that, and Eren was overcome with such a crushing appreciation for these two people, who had been there for him at his very worst.

He didn’t deserve them.

***

After that, Eren made his decision.

He waited until after they’d dropped Mikasa off at her dorm and he’d taken over driving, before he pulled the car to the side of the road. Armin looked around in confusion, asking why they were stopping, but Eren just closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

And then he told Armin. Everything.

He started with running into Levi at the club, and then meeting Kenny Ackerman and learning how he was in league with Rod Reiss. Then came Levi opening up about Isabel and Farlan’s disappearance, Farlan’s shadiness before they’d gone missing, and finally the fact that his ring had turned up in Reiner and Bertholdt’s bedroom.

When he was done, his words were rambling and his heart was beating fast, and Armin’s face was as white as chalk.

“I’m going to tell Mikasa, don’t worry,” he finished. “This isn’t me keeping secrets again, I just… you don’t know _any_ of these people yet, so you can be objective. I love Mikasa, but she has hate blinders on when it comes to Levi. And to be honest, I don’t know who I can trust between aside from her and you. I need your help.”

Armin just stared straight ahead out the window, his mouth in a thin line.

When he did talk, his voice was shaky. “A-and you’re sure that it’s his ring.”

“I know it sounds crazy, Armin. But I held Levi’s one in my hands. It was the exact same. And when I saw Levi that week, he was still wearing his.”

Armin tapped at his knee nervously, before turning to Eren. “And you think that these guys, Reiner and Bertholdt, were capable of doing something to Levi’s friends?”

“I never said that!”

“But you were thinking it,” Armin finished, before sighing. “I don’t know how you do it, Eren. You manage to get yourself outed to the whole university for sleeping with your history professor, yet somehow that doesn’t top the list of your troubles.”

“Believe me, I know,” Eren groaned. “What should I do?”

“You can’t tell Levi, for starters,” Armin said, and Eren hummed in agreement. He’d come to that conclusion himself. “For now, just focus on your disciplinary hearing this weekend. After that’s sorted, we’ll tell Mikasa and work this out between us.”

Even as Eren nodded, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Barely an hour after clearing the air with Mikasa, and here he was, right back to keeping things from her. But Eren could see why Armin was right. Mikasa had enough on her plate worrying about him right now. She didn’t show it, but Eren could tell she was nearing the end of her rope, and he needed her to stay strong for them all, especially if he couldn’t himself.

But it still wasn’t as simple as that.

“How can I even look Levi in the face now, though? Not to mention fucking Reiner and Bertholdt, when we’ve all got the fundraiser together this Friday.”

This time, Armin didn’t falter. “You _can’t_ tell them, Eren. This is… something else entirely. I don’t know what’s right here, but you need to let it go, at least until we can work towards getting the police involved.”

And that was another matter Eren had been choosing to ignore. If Reiner and Bertholdt did know something about Isabel and Farlan’s disappearance, god forbid, then that was definitely a legal matter. They could go to prison.

As Eren stared grimly at Armin, he couldn’t help but wonder how his life had become such a mess.

***

The last four days had been hectic, to say the least.

With everything going on in his life, the GSA fundraiser seemed like it was barely worth a mention, but the preparations for the event tomorrow had been kicking his ass. It was Thursday now, and between helping to promote the event last minute, meeting with Moblit to go over alcohol orders and managing his coursework all the while trying not to be recognised by most of the student body, Eren’s patience was growing thin.

Oh, and there was also the small matter of him having accidently stumbling upon a potential murder cover-up.

Eren was almost tearing his hair out trying not to think about it. How the hell Armin was dealing with it, he had no idea. But then again, he’d always been better at compartmentalising things than Eren. Still, asking Eren to keep quiet about what he’d found was one hell of a tall order.

With everything that was going on in his life, Eren almost forgot that other people had problems too.

Armin was with Mikasa at the moment, with Eren having deciding spend the day at the library to actually try and study for a bit, but would both of them would be coming over to meet him at his dorm in an hour or so. He hadn’t been able to get any work done, in between stressing out over everything, so had left early in order to try and chill out for a bit at the dorm and settle his nerves.

Except as he opened the door, Eren was greeted by the site of one Jean Kirschtein slumped on his bed, curled up against the wall side.

“Hey, are you okay dude?” Eren asked, his heart dropping when Jean glanced up and he saw that his eyes were wet. In all the time he’d known him, Eren didn’t think he’d ever seen Jean cry before.

“I- I fucked up.”

Not thinking twice, Eren shut the door to their room behind him, before moving to Jean’s bed. Even with the intimate nature of their relationship at times, they’d only ever really hugged on a few occasions before, but still, Eren didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around Jean’s shoulders. It must’ve shown how bad a state that Jean was in, because instead of snarking or flinching away, he leaned into Eren’s touch, sniffing softly as he did so.

“What did you do?”

Jean remained silent for a few seconds, before finally speaking.

“I told Marco that I loved him.”

Oh.

Eren had… not been expecting that. Because even though he knew Jean had feelings for Marco, and they’d all joked about the two being as dense as bricks around each other, he’d never suspected that it extended that far for Jean.

“You… love him?”

“I don’t know!” Jean retorted immediately, before his face fell. “Fuck… yeah I do. And I know it sounds stupid with how short I’ve known him, and you’re probably gonna laugh a-”

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Eren cut in, because he could see that Jean was spiralling. “Dude, look at my track record, no way in hell can I think _you’re_ the dumb one here.”

Despite his sombre state, that did get a little huff out of Jean, and Eren counted it as a win when his lips curved upwards a bit at the corner. After the fortnight he’d had, it was almost bizarre to be the one comforting Jean, but at the same time it felt natural. It showed Jean that Eren just wasn’t going to take and take from him, that he could be there in the way that Jean had been for him.

And even if Jean had clearly come on too strong with Marco, Eren knew him well enough by now to know that that was just Jean. He was gruff, cocky and sometimes arrogant, but he also had a bigger heart than Eren could’ve anticipated. In addition, he evidently didn’t have _too_ much experience in the relationship department (not that Eren was faring any better, at this rate), so his all-or-nothing confession to Marco was probably the result of all that combined.

“What happened?” Eren asked gently.

“We were just hanging out. I don’t even know why I said it, it wasn’t like we were having a moment or anything,” Jean answered, before chuckling darkly. “He was talking about this dish he’d cooked in his communal kitchen, and he just looked so happy and I- fuck… it just slipped out, Eren.”

“There’s worse things you could’ve done, to be fair. I’m guessing he didn’t react well?”

“He rejected me. Then ran off,” Jean rasped, before running a hand through his hair.

Okay, so it could’ve definitely gone better. Shaking his head, Eren fought down the surge of anger at how devastated Jean clearly was.

“I’m gonna kill that kid.”

Jean just shot him a mock glare. “Can you blame him? I’m not exactly the biggest charmer around. People like you and Marco, you can just walk into a room and have everyone falling over themselves to be friends with you. I’m… not like that. I’m an asshole.”

And god, now Eren was just even madder at Marco for handling the situation so badly, because he’d somehow managed to validate every fear Jean clearly had about himself. He thought back to the first day they’d met, when Jean had sneered at him for using his fucking soap of all things. Even just last weekend, Eren had been joking around with Connie and Mikasa about Jean’s emotional ineptitude, although now that same joke made him feel like the worst human on earth. Jean was definitely rough around the edges, but Eren couldn’t stand to have him thinking those thoughts about himself, not when he looked the most broken Eren had ever seen him.

On some level, though, Jean’s praise of Eren got to him. He’d honestly never really thought of himself as a people person, not when he’d grown up picking fights and always being angry. But even with everything else going on, he couldn’t help but feel the small flutter of happiness that to at least someone, one of the things Eren hated about himself wasn’t true.

Which just made him want to help Jean even more.

“Look, you’re wrong about yourself, first of all,” Eren retorted, not feeling discouraged when Jean scoffed. “I fucking mean it, so shut up. I’m not saying you’re the easiest person to get along with, but neither am I. And you managed to charm the fuck out of me, didn’t you?”

When Jean didn’t reply, Eren pressed further. “Marco _is_ into you.” At that, Jean looked up in genuine surprise, making Eren realise just what he was dealing with. “Dude, I can see it. Mikasa can see it, everyone fucking sees it. So don’t go thinking that you’re not good enough for him. You’re good enough for anyone you want.”

“He clearly doesn’t agree,” Jean mumbled.

“He’s just as scared shitless as you are!” Eren shot back. “Look, maybe you could’ve come on a little less… intense. But give him time, I think he’ll come around.”

Jean had pulled away from Eren by now and had now wrapped his own arms around his knees, hugging himself close. It made Eren even sadder, seeing him so small, but he just waited for a response.

Eventually, Jean sighed. “And if he doesn’t?”

Eren didn’t hesitate.

“Then fuck him. If he doesn’t want to be with you, then you deserve better.”

Yes, Marco was Eren’s friend, too. But with Jean right in front of him, Eren couldn’t help but condemn the other man.

“Hell,” Eren continued, “the way my life’s going, I’m probably gonna end up alone as well. Tell you what, if neither of us get our men by the end of the semester, I’ll take you out on a date instead.”

Despite everything, Jean snorted at that. “We both know you’re too cheap a date for me, Yeager.”

“Maybe so, but I meant it when said you’re good enough for anyone.”

He’d been joking around, of course, but even as he said it, Eren knew that he meant every word. Between Erwin and Levi, and now the drama with Reiner and Bertholdt, Jean wasn’t someone that Eren had ever seriously thought about advancing with. Not when they had the relationship they did, and with Jean and Marco having looked more and more like they were headed towards getting together. But Jean was… familiar to him, and Eren would be lying if he said that the thought of something more with him was unappealing. Sure, there was a fair difference between rushed handjobs and fingering at night to an actual relationship, but even as he sat there, Eren couldn’t find anything off-putting about the idea.

Jean jokingly shoved him on the shoulder, but Eren could see the smile on his face and his red cheeks as he ducked his head.

“Thanks, Yeager,” he said after a while. “You’re actually not too bad yourself, y’know.”

Damn, if he wasn’t careful, _Eren_ was gonna be the one blushing.

***

Eren sighed, closing the door to his dorm behind him. He could still hear Armin, Mikasa and Jean chatting away inside, and while he was glad that Jean was feeling better, he had bigger things to worry about. Even just sitting in his dorm and talking with his friends about nothing important had almost driven him insane. While Eren had wanted to call Marco himself and give the moron a piece of his mind, Jean had insisted that he didn’t, wanting to give him time to process things by himself.

Only that left Eren focusing back on the problem of the ring again, and almost being nostalgic for the previous week, when his biggest worry had been Erwin not returning his calls. He’d told Armin, Mikasa and Jean that he needed to meet with Hanji and Moblit about the fundraiser, but really Eren had just needed to get out and think for a while.

But as always, life seemed to never let him get a moment of fucking peace, because Eren had barely gotten out of his dorm building before someone was calling out to him.

“Hey! You’re that guy, aren’t you?”

Eren turned around to see two girls standing on the front porch, each of them smoking a cigarette. They were vaguely familiar, if he had to be Eren would guess he’d seen them around the dorms before this, but he didn’t know either of their names.

Clearly, though, they knew him.

Eren really wasn’t in the mood for dealing with this shit, and he’d been short-sighted enough to leave his baseball cap back in the room, so he just stared at them for a second, before shaking his head.

“What?”

“You know,” the first girl continued. “You’re the dude that fucked his teacher, right?”

Ugh, why had he even bothered?

Eren just turned away in silence and began to walk in the opposite direction. He could hear them giggling and talking behind him, but he just ducked his head down further and kept going. It was raining lightly, so he was lucky in that there didn’t seem to be many other people around.

But he barely got to the corner of the street before a hand was being placed on his shoulder.

“Excuse me…”

“Fuck off!” Eren roared, spinning around in rage. But it wasn’t the girls behind him, and if he’d waited just a second longer, Eren’s brain would’ve connected that it was a man who’d spoken.

Although to be fair, the person standing in front of him wasn’t much better.

Nile Dok frowned at him. “I’m choosing to let that little outburst go, because I saw what happened with those two, Eren. But I’m not your enemy here.”

Eren hadn’t been expecting that, but he still kept his eyes narrowed as he stared Nile down.

“What do you care?” He asked eventually, a good amount of heat in his voice.

Shuffling his feet slightly, Nile responded. “I wanted to check in on you. I imagine this week has been… tough for you.”

“Tough?” Eren laughed and uh oh, he could feel himself coming undone a little. “I’ve had to hide in my dorm so I don’t get _heckled_ every time I step outside! Everyone knows my fucking face, I’m probably gonna get kicked out of school and Erwin won’t answer my calls. So yeah, it’s been _tough_, and the last thing I need is you coming to rub salt in the wound.”

“I’m not here to do that, Eren.”

“Then what _are_ you here for? Because you haven’t exactly been charming the last few times we’ve met.”

That shut Nile up, and even if it was childish, Eren couldn’t stop the malicious grin from spreading over his face when Nile looked guilty.

“Fine,” Nile said after a few seconds, “I’ll admit that I may have had some… reservations when talking to you, but from the moment I saw Erwin look at you I knew that this wouldn’t end well. I tried to _stop this_, don’t you get that?”

“Yeah, you’re just an everyday hero, aren’t you,” Eren drawled, thoroughly over his level of bullshit.

Nile just shook his head at Eren’s sarcasm. “Look, I know that your hearing is this Saturday. Have you thought about what you’re going to say? Because lying to the University Board could just make this situation worse.”

“Why do you think I’d lie?” Eren asked quizzically, not liking where this was going.

“To protect Erwin. You shouldn’t go down for something that he’s just as much at fault for.”

Oh my god. Was this guy even serious right now?

Eren paused for a second, trying to work out what to say. And then he just laughed, straight in Nile’s face.

“You’re unbelievable. This is about the fucking _tenure_, isn’t it? You want to make sure that Erwin goes down for this so you can climb over his body!”

“What?” Nile said incredulously, his eyebrows skyrocketing. “This is not about tenure, I assure you. Eren, I’m trying to help-”

“Fuck, it was probably even you who leaked the pictures, right?”

And that seemed to bring something out of Nile, because the next moment he was stepping towards Eren, close enough that he could see each foggy exhale of Nile’s breath in the cold air. The rain was starting to fall faster now, and for some reason Eren’s eyes were drawn to the drops that ran down Nile’s face.

Even though he’d just blurted out otherwise, Eren really wasn’t even sure if Nile _was_ at fault here. The guy was a pretentious asshole, he knew that. But was he actually that bad a person? Nile seemed angry enough, but Eren couldn’t be sure if that was from denial or if he was legitimately offended.

“Let me make this clear,” Nile hissed, making Eren’s skin crawl. “I did _not_ leak those pictures. I was against Erwin pursuing you from the start, but I would never do anything to endanger him like this. Not after-”

Nile stopped himself, before slowly inhaling to calm himself.

“You probably won’t believe me, Eren,” he eventually continued. “But I don’t wish you any ill will. I’ve been where you are, I’ve had to deal with Erwin like this before. Just… look after yourself.”

With that, Nile turned and began to walk away.

“Wait!”  
  


Eren didn’t know why he’d called out, but when Nile stopped and turned, he kept talking.

“Have you heard from him?”

“No,” Nile replied, before he suddenly seemed to age several years in an instant. “And if you know what’s good for you, you won’t wait for him either. I know you don’t trust me, but… he’s not good for you, Eren. Move on.”

This time, Eren didn’t stop Nile as he walked off, leaving him standing alone in the rain.

***

He knew it was a stupid move, doing this. And when Eren would look back at where everything had gone wrong, deciding to go see Levi would be up there with in list of the more boneheaded ideas he’d had. But Eren needed to clear his head, and he needed to speak to Levi. He wasn’t going to tell him about the ring, but in his own way, Levi had been there for him over the last week, and Eren needed that level of calm again.

Honestly, at this point Eren’s life was just becoming episode after episode of ‘no good choices’.

By the time he met up with Levi, the sky was dark and the rain had let up. Levi was at one of the several pubs that students often frequented, and when Eren arrived, he was set up out the front at an outdoor table with Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther. Eren knew Petra and Eld reasonably well, but had only had passing conversations with the other two, so he couldn’t help but be a little nervous as he wandered over to them.

“You made it,” Levi drawled, as Petra got up to hug him.

“Yeah, hey guys,” Eren replied, waving at the rest of the table. Gunter and Eld nodded back kindly, while Oluo smirked. Gunther and Levi shuffled along to make room for him, and as he sat down, Eren could feel several eyes on him. And not just those at the table.

Feeling annoyed, embarrassed and fed up all over again, Eren just reached for the cigarette packet that was lying in front of Levi, taking one out and turning to him.

“Can I borrow your lighter?”

Levi handed it to him, albeit with a raised eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t smoke.”

“When you’ve had the week I’ve had, then you can get on my case,” Eren shot back, lighting the cigarette and inhaling deeply.

“I wasn’t judging, I’ve been through a pack today alone.”

That made Eren laugh, and for a second he’d forgotten all about the secret he was keeping from Levi. But as he blew out the smoke he’d inhaled, the weight came down on him all over again. Fuck, what was he even doing here, hanging out with the very guy Armin had all but begged him not to speak to?

But he couldn’t bring himself to leave, even as he mostly stayed silent and watched the people around him talk. Sure, Levi and the others had asked to see how he was doing, but they could clearly tell he was here to zone out and relax, so they let him be. Every now and then he’d add something to the conversation, or laugh along with the others, but for the most part he was content to sit back and think.

Levi would turn to him from time to time, his grey eyes soothing as he made sure Eren was okay. Only a few weeks ago, Eren wouldn’t have been able to decipher that look. Hell, he still couldn’t half of the time, but he’d gotten better at understanding Levi Ackerman, even in the short time they’d spent together.

That burning desire to find out more about Levi had faded though, at least somewhat. Sure, Eren still thought he was attractive, but it no longer dominated his every thought when they were in the same room. And as he watched Levi talk with Eld, Eren couldn’t help but think that maybe that was a good thing.

The night flew by too quickly for Eren’s liking, and as they got ready to leave, Eren found himself walking beside Levi.

“See you guys tomorrow, it’s gonna be a big night!” Petra shouted as she and Eld parted ways with them, and Eren waved alongside Levi. Oluo and Gunther had already left, leaving the two of them to stroll in the general direction of both of their places. The neighbourhood they were in had dozens of pubs and bars, so Eren made sure to duck his head as they passed each one, just in case any more Trost Uni students recognised him.

“You’re on drinks tomorrow, right?” Levi eventually asked, after they’d walked in silence for a minute or so.

“Yeah, with Moblit, Connie, Sasha and some others. What are you doing?”

Levi grumbled slightly, shoving his hands further into the pockets of his oversized jacket. “The she-devil has me on food. I don’t know how she expects me to serve hundreds of drunk brats without stabbing one, though.”

That made Eren chuckle softly, and as they kept walking, he reassured himself that he hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d made it through the night without telling Levi about the ring, and that was a good-

“Eren?”

Even though the voice came from behind him, Eren immediately knew who it was. He froze, thoughts coming to a complete halt, as he slowly turned around.

Erwin looked like a wreck. He had dark bags under his eyes, and his usually immaculate hair was messy. There were several more frown lines along his forehead, and the thick dusting of dirty-brown whiskers showed he hadn’t been shaving. Even just the fact that he was dressed in a leather jacket and khakis was jarring enough to Eren, after he’d become so used to seeing him in business attire.

“Erwin,” Eren said dumbly. Levi had turned around as well, and Eren could sense the tension running through him.

“I-” Erwin began, before stopping short. “How are you?”

Flinching slightly, Eren looked at the ground. God, even just hearing the deep bass of Erwin’s voice had his stomach fluttering and heart beating faster.

He wanted to scream at Erwin. Or to cry or laugh or hug him.

Instead, Eren just nodded.

“I’m okay,” he replied, nodding his head way too many times. He probably looked possessed, but to be honest, Eren didn’t really care because he had no idea what to do in this situation.

Levi stayed silent beside them.

The awkward silence lapsed on further, until eventually Erwin took a step towards him.

“I’ve missed you.”

Eren took a step back, and Erwin froze.

“You should’ve answered my calls.”

“I wanted to,” Erwin replied, looking frantic. “God, I wanted to. Eren, you don’t know how hard these last two weeks have been for me.”

“Yeah? Well it’s been fucking hard for me too,” Eren shot back, suddenly finding his fire. “I _needed_ you, Erwin. We could’ve worked this out together, but instead you shut me out.”

“I know, I know.” Erwin suddenly closed the remaining space between them, reaching for Eren’s hands. Levi didn’t intervene, but Eren could sense that his hackles were raised, ready to attack if need be.

Erwin just seemed different, the usual deep, calming blue of his eyes now seeming like a storm. “I wanted to see you, Eren, god I really did. But my career was over, and I had to think about myself for once.” Erwin paused, before he leant in so that his mouth was inches from Eren’s. “But I’m here now, and we can go back to how things were before all-”

“You’re drunk.”

Eren could smell it on his breath. Which made sense, because why else would Erwin be out here in a neighbourhood of bars? Eren knew from experience that Erwin could handle his alcohol, so the he must’ve drunk a huge amount, because now that he was close Eren could see him swaying slightly.

“What?” Erwin asked, and the hands around Eren’s tightened their grip.

His eyes hardened, and just like that Eren was right back in the beach house. Collar around his neck, and Erwin’s hands on him. Only this time, he didn’t feel so alive.

Feeling nervous, Eren went to pull back, but Erwin didn’t let him go. And then Levi was there, putting a hand on Erwin’s shoulder and staring blankly up at him.

“I think you need to go.”

Erwin stared at Levi for a second, before he reluctantly let go of Eren’s hands. As Eren took two steps back, rubbing his hands, Erwin laughed darkly as recognition dawned on him.

“You’re Levi, aren’t you? Kenny’s boy.”

“I’m no one’s boy. But I’m walking Eren home, so why don’t you back off for tonight, _Professor_.”

The way Levi’s voice turned to a hiss at the last word was not lost on either Eren or Erwin.

Erwin _did_ step away, and for a second Eren thought that would be it, but then something changed in his eyes and he was firing back up again.

“So that’s it, huh? I’m that replaceable?”

Levi growled, but Eren put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “For the record, I’m not sleeping with Levi. But could you blame me if I did? You told me never to contact you again. What was I supposed to do?”

“Because I was scared, Eren,” Erwin replied, his voice rising. The people out the front of the bar a few doors down were beginning to notice the commotion, but they didn’t seem overly interested at this stage.

“I was scared of how much I cared for you. Eren, I lo-”

“Don’t,” Eren interrupted, his heart hammering. “Not while you’re like this.”

He could feel how thick his voice was, and just like that almost two weeks’ worth of pent up emotion came rolling out. His eyes were welling up, but Eren soldiered, stepping out from behind Levi and walking towards Erwin.

“Eren-”

Eren held up a hand to let Levi know that he was okay, before coming to a stop in front of Erwin. He was just as hulkingly massive as ever, but this was the first time that Eren had felt like the guiding one out of the two of them.

He could see that Erwin was broken, and in a way, Eren had been the one to do that.

“I… I’m not ready to call it quits yet, Erwin. We need to talk, but not tonight. Go home, sober up. I’ll… I’ll wait for you.”

Erwin nodded, and then his face crumpled as he sobbed drunkenly. And then Eren was hugging him, Erwin leaning down and pressing his face into Eren’s shoulder.

“My life’s over, Eren. My career.”

“I know. And for that I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful, should have waited until we were somewhere safe to kiss you. But I don’t regret the time we had together, and I know you don’t either.”

With that, he extracted himself from Erwin and walked back to Levi. Turning around one last time, he managed a weak smile.

“I’ll see you around, Erwin.”

Eren didn’t wait for a reply, instead pivoting on his heel and following Levi away from Erwin.

***

Eren only made it two blocks before he crumpled into a weeping ball.

He’d been walking in a blur of tears, focused only on getting out of Erwin’s eyeshot before falling apart. So much so that Eren hadn’t even been watching where Levi was leading them, just following him around a corner and then collapsing.

Levi didn’t do anything initially, and as Eren eventually calmed down and looked around, he noticed that they were in one of the quieter side streets. Because of course Levi had been able to tell that he was on the way to a major meltdown.

But Levi also didn’t make any move to comfort him, even though Eren wasn’t expecting it. It just wasn’t who he was. Levi spoke with actions more than he did with words. So, as Eren leant back against the wall he’d sat down in front of, Levi slid down to sit beside him.

“Your boyfriend’s more of a mess than you are, you know.”

Despite himself, Eren managed to chuckle a little, before sniffing wetly. “I’ve never seen him like that before. Fuck, and I thought I was handling this badly.” But then he turned to Levi. “I didn’t realise he knew who Kenny was, though. You’ve met before?”

“No, and neither did I to be honest,” Levi sighed. “Your man’s close to Rod Reiss, though. And with everything that’s been going on between him and Kenny, I’m not surprised that Erwin’s been roped in.”

That peaked Eren’s interest. “What’s going on with Reiss and Kenny?”

“It’s not important, don’t worry,” Levi brushed off, and for a moment Eren wanted to pursue the point, but then Levi was continuing. “I had to look into Erwin at the start of last year, back when Kenny wanted a new profile on Reiss’ associates, but he was as boring as you’d imagine a history teacher to be.”

That settled Eren a little. Because unless Levi was lying, then that meant that Erwin wasn’t caught up in all this business with Kenny. And Eren trusted Levi, he really did.

And then he thought about _it_, and Eren felt like shit all over again.

When he let out a sob a few moments later and let his head fall down onto his arms, Levi turned to him in surprise.

“Jeeze, Yeager. I’m not good at this sappy shit, do you want me to call your bitchy sist-”

“I’m a bad friend, Levi.”

Levi paused, before putting a hand on Eren’s shoulder. “Even I can tell that you’re anything but that. You feel like shit, I get it. But stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

That just made Eren feel even worse, and as his throat hitched a second time, he looked up from his arms and made up his mind.

God, Armin was going to kill him.

“I need to tell you something, Levi. Just promise me you won’t freak out.”

***

**Now.**

As the flames flickered behind him, Eren swallowed the wave of nausea.

It’d taken almost an hour to get away from the hospital, and after the news had officially broken out, Hanji and Moblit had been quick to wrap up the fundraiser. It’d been winding down anyway, but understandably, no one really felt like pushing on after what had happened. Eren, Levi and Armin had stayed at the hospital waiting room until 2am, before leaving with the promise of returning the next day.

Because as terrible as it was, they still had a job to do.

Eren sat down the ground, taking a deep breath before he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

The call went straight to the answering machine, but Eren had expected that, given that no one would be at the university at this time of night.

“Erwin?” he asked into the recording. “I… I don’t even know why I’m calling this number. You aren’t answering your mobile anymore, so I thought if you heard this on your office line you might… fuck, I don’t know. I need to speak to you, I… I fucked up. I did something that I shouldn’t have. I need to make it right.”

Somewhere nearby, he heard Levi cough. Eren breathed shakily, holding back a sniffle. God, this was going to sound pathetic on the recording.

“I’m sorry, for everything. I need you to know that, even if you’ll never speak to me again. I- I don’t want to lose you.”

Taking another ragged breath, Eren swallowed. “I… I love you.”

He hung up, before wiping his tears away and getting to his feet. He had just one more job to do, and then he was done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this one! And yes I know, Eren is a train wreck who makes all the wrong choices, but that'w why we love him!
> 
> This is also the last chance to comment any last-minute theories on who it is, now that I've given all the hints I'm gonna give before the big reveal next chapter. Comments and kudos go a long way, I really appreciate it.
> 
> Till next time :)


	17. The Long Night, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi was going to die if he didn’t do something
> 
> Watching the struggle play out in front of him, Eren swallowed and made up his mind.
> 
> His fingers curled around the handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first thing's first: for anyone that's seen that this is a two-parter (from the chapter title), don't worry, the murder is still being revealed in this one. I don't want anyone to think I'm drawing things out unnecessarily, part two is just gonna be everything from the night after the murder (with gaps filled in). This chapter is... a doozy- almost 11K words in total, and that's only after the split!
> 
> Moving on to other things, there's some TRIGGER WARNINGS in this chapter: murder (obvs) and some pretty major suicidal themes. I know that that might be spoilery for people about to read, but it's important to me that I'm upfront in that regard (although I will say here that no one dies by suicide in this chapter, even if the themes are still relatively graphic). Still, if this is something that affects you, please please either read with caution in a safe space or don't read this one.
> 
> Also, for anyone worrying about the nature of the violence in this chapter- don't worry, it's not too graphic. I don't really like writing gory stuff, so this and the next chapter (where they deal with the body) are never too graphic.
> 
> Alrighty, now that all that's out of the way: enjoy! This is a big one, so I hope it lives up the the hype!

**Now. 9:03pm**

_Levi was going to die if he didn’t do something_

Watching the struggle play out in front of him, Eren swallowed and made up his mind.

His fingers curled around the handle.

***

**Then. Earlier That Day**

**3:17pm**

“Eren? Eren!”

The words shook him out of his daze, and Eren blinked and looked around himself. All around him, the GSA Fundraiser was in full force, with voices and laughter filling the afternoon air. They’d only been up and running for a few hours so far, but the atmosphere was buzzing with excitement. The weather for the day was perfect, with a blazing sun that was usually rare for Trost brightening the day.

Something wet dripped down his right hand, and Eren looked down to see he’d overfilled the cup of beer he’d been pouring.

“You sure you’re alright?”

For the second time, Armin’s voice brought him back to reality, and Eren glanced forward to see a concerned expression on his friend’s face. He’d been in the process of pouring him a beer, and even now the few people in the line behind Armin were looking at him funny.

“Shit,” Eren swore as he reached for a handtowel to wipe his hand with. Looking back to Armin, he forced a smile. “I’m fine, A. Just got lost in the moment.”

It was a weak excuse, and even if Armin hadn’t known a thing about the past few days, his friend probably would’ve seen right through him.

But Armin took the cup of alcohol off him, before moving to step around the table of the makeshift drinks station as Eren served the two other people waiting for drinks. Next to him, Sasha and Annie were talking to each other as they opened up more slabs of beer. The alcohol had actually been pretty cheap to get, especially once the bottle shops had been made aware that it was for a student-run charity fundraiser, and Eren had even heard a rumour that Rod Reiss had helped to fund some of their costs.

By the time he’d served the last two people waiting, Armin had made his way to his side of the table and was looking at him with concern.

“Eren, you’re worrying me. Are you sure everything’s okay? Nothing’s changed with… you know, right?”

It didn’t take a genius to understand what Armin was talking about, and Eren was already shaking his head, feeling at least a little bad for lying. He couldn’t tell Armin what had happened, that after everything, he’d caved and told Levi the truth last night.

Especially because Levi hadn’t taken the news well.

To be fair, Eren hadn’t expected him to. But telling him what he knew about Reiner and Bertholdt, about Farlan’s ring, had been a spur of the moment decision, something which he had regretted the moment he’d blurted it out. Levi had taken one look at him before stalking off, and even after chasing after him and yelling for him to stop, the other man hadn’t let Eren explain.

Eren hadn’t heard from him since, either.

And right now, standing under a shade sail and serving alcohol to already half-drunk college students, Eren felt sick. Levi wasn’t replying to his calls and hadn’t turned up today. Hanji wasn’t overly happy about that last matter, but was clearly in the dark as to the real reason why, judging by how she’d been stomping around dramatically just before.

Realising that Armin was waiting for an answer, Eren swallowed and forced a smile. “Nah, everything’s good. I’m just wondering why Levi’s not here,” he added, hoping an element of truth would help get Armin off his back.

At that, Armin frowned further. “I’m sure everything’s okay. From what you’ve told me about him, Levi doesn’t seem like the type to enjoy events like this.”

Eren nodded, even if he didn’t believe it for a second.

“Hey.”

Eren turned at the sound of Annie’s voice, who was staring at him with an unimpressed expression. Then Eren noticed the group of new people standing before them, waiting to be served alcohol.

“If you’re going to be hanging around here and distracting Eren, the least you can do is help out,” Annie said to Armin.

Eren was ready to remind her that it wasn’t Armin’s responsibility to help out, but he stopped short when Armin ducked his head, his cheeks tinted red.

“Y-yeah, sorry. I’ll get to work. You’re A-Annie, right?”

Annie just stared at him, before nodding curtly and turning back to help Sasha again. And as he went to pour more drink, Eren couldn’t help but wonder if Armin, after all these years, had just gotten flustered at talking to a girl.

***

**5:13pm**

Two hours later, Eren finally got a break from serving drinks, and was lounging on the ground with Mikasa, Connie and Sasha. Connie had brought a picnic blanket, but while the other three were relaxing and chatting away, drinks in hand, Eren felt anything but relaxed.

Looking around, Eren could see Jean helping out Mike at the barbeques, flipping sausages and beef patties with a pair of tongs. He didn’t look overly happy to be stuck there, especially considering most of the freshmen weren’t meant to be working too much, but that might’ve also been due to the fact that Marco still hadn’t shown his face.

Eren hated how crushed Jean had been, when Marco hadn’t shown up today.

People had tried to call him, of course, given that he was meant to be there. But even Sasha or Connie hadn’t been able to get him to pick up, and aside from Hanji receiving a text from him that he wasn’t in any trouble, there’d been no word otherwise. Hanji wasn’t thrilled with that either, of course, but had been too swamped with work to worry about it too much.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Eren was dealing with a crisis of his own, he would’ve marched over to Marco’s dorm building himself and dragged him back, kicking and screaming.

Still, Jean managed to roll his eyes towards Eren as he dealt with serving a girl that was clearly already very drunk. Eren smiled slightly at that, at least a little glad that Jean seemed to be in relatively good spirits now.

“How come you’re here, by the way,” Mikasa said to Connie, a few moments later. “Isn’t it your shift to be helping with the drinks?”

Connie laughed. “Yeah, it’s _meant_ to be. Thank your mate Armin, he volunteered to hang around and help out a little longer so that I could have a break.”

Oh god, Armin really did have it bad.

And yep, Eren could see him side by side with Annie, smiling warmly as he served alcohol alongside her. From this distance, he could see Annie talking back as well, with her turning to face him whenever the line died down. Turning back, Eren met Mikasa’s gaze, raising an eyebrow.

“How about that, huh?”

Mikasa just smiled “I think it’s sweet.”

Suddenly, Connie glanced down at his phone, before blinking and licking his lips.

“Hey, uh,” he began, already climbing to his feet. “I gotta go, something just came up.”

“Everything okay?” Sasha asked, a plate of barbequed meets in her lap.

“Yeah. Just, um, someone I gotta meet.” He went to walk away, before stopping and fishing around in his pocket. A second later, he was throwing his keys into the centre of the picnic rug. “Just in case someone needs to drive anywhere. See ya guys later!”

And then Connie was gone, ducking through the crowds of people around them.

***

**5:55pm**

The sun was beginning to set as Eren made his way through the crowd, looking for Jean. Hanji had asked him to go find him, given that Jean had taken what was meant to be a quick break from the barbeque at 5:30 but still hadn’t come back. Eren was sure that he was fine, but Hanji was stressed, which had only been compounded by the fact that both Levi and Marco still hadn’t turned up.

“Eren!”

For a second, he thought it was Jean calling his name, but the voice was too different. And a second later he turned around to see Bertholdt walking towards him, smiling kindly at him.

Shit. Eren had been doing his best to avoid both him and Reiner all week, and it had worked until now.

But he plastered on a fake smile. “Hey, man. What’s up?”

“Moblit wants you to come back. The football team just got here and now the line at the main tent for drinks is massive.”

God, leave it to Reiner’s buddies to hype up the entire student body to need more alcohol. Nodding, Eren let Bertholdt lead him back. Looking for Jean would have to wait. As they walked, Eren shot off a quick text.

_Yooo, where’d you run off to_ – Eren, 5:56pm  
  


Putting his phone away, he walked in silence alongside Bertholdt for a few moments, before the tension became too much for him.

“Where’s Reiner? I haven’t seen him for a few hours.”

Bertholdt paused, frowning slightly. “Home, actually.” When Eren cocked his head in question, Bertholdt elaborated. “He’s not doing so great. He’s in a bit of a low period at the moment.”

“Oh, fuck. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Bertholdt shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve already spoken to Hanji, I’m going to bow out early tonight to make sure he’s okay. We thought that coming here today would maybe lift his mood, but it just made him even more down.”

“I’m sorry, man,” Eren replied. “Go easy on yourself as well, yeah?”

At that moment, his phone pinged, and he glanced at it quickly to see Jean’s reply.  
  


_Went to find Marco. Back later_ – HorseFace, 5:57pm

Really, Eren should’ve expected that one. But he couldn’t do everything at once, so he pocketed his phone and looked back to Bertholdt.

Even as Bertholdt continued talking, this time about something else entirely, Eren mulled over what he’d said. On one hand, hearing that Reiner was having a bad time made him feel even guiltier for being frosty towards them both this week, even if he’d just been ignoring them. But Eren had also said to Bertholdt that he’d be there to support Reiner, and even though Reiner had clearly been spiralling down all week, he’d still kept his distance.

But then he remembered why he’d been doing so, and Eren swallowed down the wave of nerves all over again. God, this was all getting too much. And telling Levi certainly hadn’t helped ease some of the tension.

Distantly, he just wondered if he’d screwed it all up, instead.

***

**6:25pm**

“Fuck, we’re running out of drinks, fast.”

Eren looked over from where he was serving yet another cup of beer to a drunk college student, to see Moblit looking around at dozens of empty cardboard boxes that had once been slabs of beer. It was all hands on deck, with Eren, Annie, Sasha, Armin, Mikasa and the older GSA members all serving drink after drink to the now endless line. They’d anticipated that it would get busy, but this was on a whole other level.

At least Hanji would be pleased, at this rate they were on track to beat last year’s amount of money raised.

Ducking away from the table, Eren wandered over to Moblit. “Connie left me his keys before he bailed, do you want me to do a runner to the bottle shop?”

Looking stressed, Moblit nodded. “Do you mind? I’d do it, but Hanji needs me to help her talk with campus security. Apparently, there’s some drunk guy attacking people on the side of campus, and we need to make sure our asses are covered.”

“Yeah, no worries.” Looking at his phone, Eren noted the time. “I’ll try and be as quick as I can.”

“Thanks, I owe you one. Do you want someone to go with you?”

Eren glanced at his friends busily serving drinks, and then at the line, which had somehow increased in length in the last few seconds. “No, I’ll be fine. See you soon!”

With that, he was jogging off in the direction of Connie’s van, feeling only slightly guilty that he was making another stop first, somewhere else.

But just as Eren reached the place that Connie had parked the van earlier that day, another problem came to a head when he recognised the person crossing the street nearby.

“Marco!” he yelled, catching the attention of the other man, who seemed to finally be arriving for the fundraiser.

Upon hearing his name, Marco looked up in surprise, before smiling and making his way over. It was only as he got closer, though, that Eren could see that the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“What the hell?” Eren said before Marco could talk. “You’ve got some fucking explaining to do, dude. Jean’s gone to your place to find you!”

At the mention of Jean, Marco’s eyes widened slightly, and he shuffled on the spot as his face fell.

“He told you, then?”

“Of course he fucking told me! You’re lucky I’m not punching you out right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Marco cried. “I panicked, okay? What the hell are you even meant to say when the guy you kind of like tells you he _loves_ you?”

“I don’t know, why not: hey, that’s great, wanna go out sometime?”

But even though he was all but yelling at Marco, Eren could see where the guys was coming from. He couldn’t help but think about Erwin, and how scary his confession last night had been, even when Eren was potentially feeling the same. And he’d had weeks to get to know Erwin intimately, to think about their future together. But Marco? He’d been thrown in the deep end right off, the tentative flirting between him and Jean having come to a crashing halt the second Jean had confessed.

Still, Eren needed to smack him one.

“You need to _talk_ to him, Marco,” he seethed. “Do you have any idea how crushed he’s been since you turned him down and ran off?”

Marco’s expression crumpled even further at that, and while Eren did feel a little bad for not holding back, it needed to be done.

“Shit, I know I fucked up,” Marco mumbled, looking dejected. “But I… I wasn’t expecting it, and I didn’t know what to say to him.”

“But you like him, don’t you?”

“Of course I do! But I…” Marco cut off, before exhaling. “I’m not good with relationships, Eren. Why do you think I was so eager to keep things casual between _us_, and didn’t care when you broke things off? Yeah, I like Jean. Really like him… but he _loves_ me. I’d just… screw it up and hurt him.”

It just confirmed everything Eren had suspected, but he still sighed in frustration.

“I’m going to be nice about this, Marco, because at the end of the day you’re my friend too,” Eren answered, before narrowing his eyes. “But you’re being a stupid-ass about this.”

Marco flinched, but Eren didn’t stop there.

“Look, I know it’s scary. And god knows I haven’t got all the answers. But what I do know is that Jean really cares about you, and right now he’s tearing himself up because he doesn’t think _you_ care about him.”

“Of course I do, why would you even-”

“Then go tell him that, you moron!” Eren crowed. Fuck, if anything, he’d expected things to be the other way around, with him having to push Jean to get his act together. Marco had always seemed so well-adjusted, but now Eren was beginning to see that he had his own hang ups as well. “Even if you decide you can’t be with him for whatever reason, fucking _talk_ to him, man.”

Marco stared at him, eyes wide, before sighing. “You’re right. Fuck, I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah… you are.”

But Eren had seemingly galvanised Marco into action. “What should I do?” Marco continued to ask.

Eren looked around himself. Fuck, he really needed to get going, to find Levi before people started to get suspicious of his absence.

“Go back to your place and talk to him. Screw the fundraiser for now, just talk things out. I won’t tell anyone I saw you arriving.”

Smiling in relief, Marco nodded. “Okay. And Eren…? Thanks.”

Eren could only managed a tight-lipped smile in return. “Like I said, you’re my friend too, dude.” Still he couldn’t help but add on further. “I’m giving you a pass this time, but if you ever hurt him again, I’m coming for you.”

He’d honestly meant for the words to be a friendly, almost jesting threat. But given the state he was in, they came out more stinging than intended, and Marco blinked in surprise.

“I-I’m not gonna let that happen. I’m gonna make things right.”

Eren could only hope that he would. That amidst all this crazy shit going on, one thing would just go right.

***

**7:15pm**

Dammit, of course Levi wasn’t home.

Knocking again at his front door in a last, desperate attempt, Eren sighed in defeat when no answer came. Either Levi wasn’t home, or he was doing a great job of ignoring him. Glancing at his phone, Eren swore when he realised how late he was, given that he hadn’t even been to the bottle shop yet. With Levi living on the side of Trost, the traffic on the way to his place had been terrible, and Eren had spent most of the trip second guessing his choice to make a detour.

With any luck, Moblit’s talk with campus security would keep him away from the drinks station for longer, and Eren would be able to sneak back in only a little bit late and blame it on the traffic.

On his way out of Levi’s building, Eren made one last ditch attempt, and dialled Levi’s number again.

To his utter surprise, however, Levi picked up on the second ring.

“Hey.”

“Levi,” Eren breathed in relief, stopping in front of the communal noticeboard in the hallway for that floor of the building. “Fuck, where are you? I’m at your building, I really need to talk to you.”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds, and Eren thought he heard the sound of cars in the background. Which just confirmed his theory that Levi was out somewhere. And then he spoke.

“I’m not home.”

Eren inwardly groaned, even though he’d known it was coming. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I really am. But I didn’t know if-”

“I’m not mad at you, Eren,” Levi replied, and that was definitely the sound of a car honking on the other end of the call. “I just… there’s something I need to do, first.”

Oh god.

His heart hammering in his chest, Eren chose his next words carefully. “Levi… where are you now?”

Silence again. And then, “I’m going to Reiner and Bertholdt’s. I need to see it.”

“No, no, no, no,” Eren all but babbled back, furiously walking, but with no clear destination in mind. “Levi, just calm down for a minute, okay? Just, I don’t know, come meet me. We can figure this out together. Reiner’s _there_ right now, you can’t just break in or something.”

No reply came initially, but unlike last time, the silence continued. It was only after another few more seconds that Eren pulled the phone away from his ear and realised that Levi had hung up on him. Eren didn’t even know if he’d heard the last few things he’d said.

“Fuck,” he breathed, putting his hands on his hips and letting out a shaky exhale.

A few seconds later, Eren swore again as his next call to Levi went to voicemail.

Things were not going well, in the slightest.

Looking around, Eren weighed up his options. If he went after Levi, he’d never get to the bottle shop and back to the fundraiser in time. It would mean half of the GSA would probably be mad at him, but he could deal with that. If he left Levi to his own devices, it would mean things would turn ugly between him and Reiner. And with Berthold having said that Reiner wasn’t in a good state of mind, in addition to what Eren suspected about the two of them having Farlan’s ring, he didn’t want to see how that version of events played out.

Glancing at the noticeboard he was standing front of, Eren thought briefly about calling Armin, or even Mikasa. Maybe one of them could-

His thoughts stopped dead, right there and then, as he stared at the noticeboard.

He remembered Levi saying that he still put up missing posters of Isabel and Farlan, usually in or around his apartment block. And Eren had seen one or two before of Isabel around campus, but never Farlan.

Until now, at least.

His mind racing, Eren broke into a sprint, almost knocking an older woman off her feet as he rounded the corner towards the stairwell.

He had to get to Levi, now.

***

**7:49pm**

“FUCK YOU! Learn to drive!” Eren hollered out the driver’s side window at a passing car, who had just changed lanes in a way that was definitely not allowed.

He fucking hated driving.

If the traffic on the way to Levi’s had been nightmare, then this was just like something out of a horror show. Eren had almost crashed three times now, too distracted by his mind racing through what he’d just seen, and what it meant. Yet somehow, he still wasn’t the worst driver on the road that night.

As the driver in front of him flipped him off from their open window, Eren groaned and threw his head back. Of all the nights to be stuck in traffic, it had to be tonight. It was almost comical, in fact.

Getting back to the fundraiser was the last thing on Eren’s mind right now.

When the next traffic light turned red, Eren tried Levi’s number again, only to scream out loud when it went to voicemail. Again.

“Fucking dammit!”

Driving across town to Levi’s had been a mistake. Especially when Reiner and Bertholdt lived right near campus itself. But Eren couldn’t call Mikasa or Armin, not now. How could he even begin to explain what he didn’t even know was true in the first place?

He needed to be the one to do this. He just hoped that Levi and Reiner hadn’t killed each other by the time he got there.

All of a sudden, his phone rang in his hand, and Eren jolted in surprise, before answering it on speaker without looking at the caller ID.

“Levi? You need to-”

“Eren.”

The voice on the other end was not Levi, though, and Eren blinked as he heard the person sniffle, and then cough.

“… Reiner?” He asked, tentatively, as he accelerated at the green light and made sure to keep his eyes on the road.

“Yeah,” Reiner answered, and Eren could tell that something wasn’t right. “I need to tell you something. It’s important, it’s- oh god…”

A choked gasp came from the other end, and Eren realised that Reiner was crying.

“Hey, just calm down, man. Is Levi there with you?”

“Levi? No, this is about- fuck, are you with Bertl?”

“No. Tell me what’s wrong, man. You’re scaring me.” The momentary relief that Levi wasn’t there yet had been washed away by the state Reiner was in. Especially if the pieces of the puzzle that Eren was hurriedly drawing together in his mind were correct.

“I’m sorry, man, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m a shit friend and a shit person, I should’ve told you from the start. Just… please look after Bertholdt. I’m sorr-”

He choked back a sob, and Eren swore under his breath of the umpteenth time that day.

“Are you still at home? I’m coming your way, man. Just hang on.”

“No! Don’t come, I… I don’t want you to see this.”

“Reiner…” Eren breathed, not liking where this was going.

“I just wanted to say sorry. And goodb- fuck,” he sniffed, choking up. “Just look after Bertl for me.”

“Reiner! Stay on the line man, I’m almost there.”

But for the second time that day, Eren had been hung up on.

***

**8:17pm**

By the time Eren finally pulled up outside Reiner and Bertholdt’s apartment building, he was all but jumping out of the van, barely turning it off and swiping the keys before sprinting towards the front door. Both Reiner and Levi hadn’t picked up after that, leaving Eren to tear his hair out the entire drive back into Trost. He’d even gotten desperate enough to call Bertholdt, but in another cruel twist of fate, he hadn’t answered his phone either.

When this was all over, Eren would strangle every one of them himself.

The only saving grace was that Levi would’ve had to have been stuck in the same level of traffic that Eren had. With any luck, he wasn’t too far behind.

Once again glad that he’d bothered to remember the floor and room number of Reiner’s place, Eren took the stairs three at a time, before sprinting down the hallway and towards his destination.

“Reiner! Open up!” he shouted as he pounded on the door, only for no answer to come, once again. “Fuck this shit,” he hissed, ready to kick the door down, before he paused and took a deep breath.

Eren was glad he did, because a second later, he tried the door handle to find it unlocked. Opening the door, Eren strode in, only for his words to die on his lips.

Reiner was standing over the kitchen sink. Even with his back to him, Eren could tell by the racked movements of his shoulders that he was crying. There was no sign of Levi.

“Reiner?”

And then he turned, and Eren went still at the sight of the knife against his neck.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Reiner rasped, his arms shaking as the point of the blade pressed harder against his skin.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Eren said immediately, holding his hands up in surrender while trying to fight down the panic surging through him. “Just calm down, yeah? Put the knife down. Let’s talk about this.”

Eren didn’t need to ask if Reiner had been taking his meds. Not when he was in this state, and not when it would only lead to an even worse reaction in all likelihood. Despite the fact that Reiner was physically massive, right now he looked the smallest Eren had ever seen him.

When Reiner didn’t budge, Eren tried a different tactic. “Have you called Bertholdt?” he asked gently, desperately trying to appear as non-hostile as he could.

But Reiner just snivelled louder. “He didn’t pick up. I- I don’t want him to see this.”

“I’m sure he’s on his way here. When he gets here, we can all talk.”

“I don’t want to talk! I can’t- shit, man… I can’t face him. Not after what I did.”

“He won’t care, Reiner, he loves you. Please, just put it down,” Eren persisted, as he thought over what Reiner could be talking about. If what he’d been thinking on the drive over was true, then Reiner had gotten himself into a tangled web of lies, the least of which would likely end any relationship. It was the best explanation of how things seemed the way they were, at least from what Eren could think of.

Before either of them could say anything else, a movement in the corner of Eren’s vision caught his eyes. Glancing past Reiner, his eyes widened in disbelief as he saw Levi drop lightly through the open window.

The fucker must’ve gone up the fire escape.

At the sound of feet touching the hardwood floor, Reiner rounded on the spot, panicking.

“Levi?! What’re you doing here?”

Levi just stared at them both, eyes flickering from where Eren was standing, with his arms up in surrender, to Reiner with the knife still against his own neck. Desperately, Eren tried to convey with his eyes for Levi to be careful, that if he said anything wrong he could tip Reiner over the edge.

“Why is he here?!” Reiner shouted, rounding back on Eren.

Trying not to lose his nerve any further, Eren racked his brain, trying to remember if excessive paranoia was something Reiner had to deal with when he was at his worst. When he couldn’t think of anything that he remembered from his research, Eren took a deep breath. He needed to think this through. Carefully.

Reiner had called him almost half an hour ago, which meant that he’d been working himself up to the act. Assuming it hadn’t taken long for him to leave Bertholdt a message, that easily left at least 20 minutes in which he’d clearly been working up the nerve to go through with killing himself. Which meant that on some level, he didn’t want to do it. Eren just needed to convince him that there were other options, that they could get through this.

“It doesn’t matter, Reiner,” Eren replied a second later, as softly as he could. “Levi’s not here to hurt you. Just take a breath for a second, yeah? No one’s mad at you.”

Tentatively, he took a step towards Reiner, his hands still held up. Levi hadn’t moved from his spot by the window. “You don’t want to do this, man. Bertholdt needs you, you guys can work it out.”

“There’s nothing to work out! I just want it to be over!” Reiner shouted, the point of the knife digging into his neck deep enough to draw blood.

“STOP!” Eren panicked, his hands shaking as he stepped forward again. “Just stop, Reiner, okay? No one’s mad at you. Bertholdt wouldn’t want you to do this. He’d never want you to hurt yourself.”

Bright red blood dripped down Reiner’s neck from around the point of the knife. He hadn’t hit an artery, not yet, but Eren knew it could happen any second. Any thoughts of rings and suspected murders had been jettisoned from his mind, the only thing Eren cared about now was making sure Reiner didn’t go through with this.

“Tell me what happened to my friends,” Levi hissed suddenly, finally starting to move towards them.

“Shut up Levi!” Eren shouted, incredulous that he could still be focused on something like that right now.

But Reiner wasn’t listening to either of them. “I betrayed him,” Reiner sobbed, his voice cracking. “He loves me so much and I- I cheated and I lied and he’ll never forgive me.”

“He will,” Eren said immediately, shooting Levi a glare so toxic that it stopped him from whatever he was about to say. “Bertholdt loves you, Reiner. He’d never want this.”

He took another step towards Reiner, until he was almost within arm’s reach.

“I can’t… I can’t face him.”

“I’ll help you. Just put the knife down, Please.”

Reiner sniffed again, more tears slipping down his cheeks. But he didn’t do anything as Eren took the last few steps slowly towards him, and then they were touching.

Taking the knife from Reiner’s hand, Eren immediately tossed it to the floor and out of reach of any of them. It skidded along the wooden boards, scratching them slightly before coming to a stop near the far wall.

Before he could do another thing, Reiner was throwing himself at Eren, wrapping his massive tree-trunk arms around him and sobbing into his shoulder. Eren was almost bowled over by his weight, but managed to stay upright as he let Reiner cry against him. He was aware that the small amount of blood from Reiner’s neck was likely staining his clothes, but at this stage he couldn’t care less.

“You should hate me,” Reiner blubbered, a few moments later. “I should’ve told you that-”

“I know, Reiner,” Eren continued. “I know what happened. It doesn’t matter, okay?”

After what seemed like an eternity, Reiner pulled away. “I’m… I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Eren just smiled, squeezing his muscled shoulder. “We’ll work it out, yeah? We’ll talk to Bertholdt together. He won’t be mad, I promise.”

“You don’t know that,” Reiner said, looking forlorn.

And then, hurricane Levi hit.

“Tell me what’s going on, _right fucking now_,” Levi growled, as hysterical as Eren as had ever seen him before. “Why does _he_ have Farlan’s ring?”

“Reiner didn’t kill Farlan,” Eren replied immediately, and Reiner stiffened.

“What? Of course I- why would you even think-”

“But I think he slept with the man who did.”

His words cut through the air like a knife, even as the truth that Eren hadn’t wanted to admit dug itself deeper inside his heart.

Beside him, Reiner’s eyes went wide and his skin paled.

Steeling himself, Eren swallowed.

“Erwin had a picture of Farlan, at his beach house. I didn’t recognise him until I saw the missing poster tonight.” Turning to Reiner, he continued. “And you’re the guy Erwin told me he had a casual arrangement with, right? You stole that ring from him as well, didn’t you? The one in your room, with the Latin inscription on it.”

“I didn’t mean t-”

“It’s okay,” Eren said immediately, as Reiner shook like a kid, despite the fact that he dwarfed both Levi and Eren. By now, he was gripping his neck with his hand, a small amount of blood dripping out between his fingers. “I know it was an impulse during a manic phase, and it’s not the first thing you’ve stolen. Just tell us the truth, please.”

Levi, who had stayed silent during the exchange, was watching with wide, confused eyes.

Finally, Reiner took a shaky breath. “I didn’t know it was his. _Farlan’s_,” Reiner clarified after a second. “When Erwin told me we had to stop seeing each other, I was just so angry, because he’d been seeing both me and Farlan at the same time and I didn’t know what made Eren so special and I just… I just snapped. I raided his apartment, and it looked expensive so I took it.”

Eren nodded, even as his heart clenched at Reiner’s words. Because they just confirmed everything he’d come to suspect, all the pieces he’d put into place on the drive over. Reiner hadn’t done anything wrong, except cheat on his boyfriend and steal expensive jewellery as the act of a scorned lover. He hadn’t killed Farlan, or Isabel, and that ring was likely one of many trinkets of Erwin’s that he’d taken.

Erwin.

God, Eren could barely even think his name.

He didn’t know wha-

“You knew.”

Levi’s words jolted Eren out of his thoughts, and he turned sharply to see Levi staring straight at Reiner. He was seemingly calm, but his eyes were dead with bottled rage, like Eren was just staring straight into an abyss.

“You knew,” Levi repeated, his voice still level. “You said that you and Farlan slept with Erwin at the same time. You _knew_ that he’d been seeing him, and you didn’t say anything. Even after he and Isabel disappeared.”

Reiner mouth wobbled. “I’m- I’m sorry. I didn’t think tha-”

“You didn’t think that _what_?” Levi hissed, his voice turning to venom in an instant. “That it would matter? That an illegal affair with a college professor would be of note to a _missing persons investigation_!?”

The last few words came out as a roar, and Reiner reeled back in shock.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Levi!” Eren cut in, stepping towards the man, but Levi was like a hound unleashed.

“You didn’t tell anyone because you knew that it would mean telling your _boyfriend_ what you’d been up to, didn’t you! That’s why you’re trying to off yourself, not because you lied to Eren and Bertholdt, but because you _knew_ why they’d disappeared and you did nothing.”

“Stop!” Eren growled out, frantic.

“I didn’t know it was important!”

“Then you’re a _fucking moron_, Braun! Go fuck yourself, you killed them too, for all I care!”

Reiner made a strange, garbled noise, like he wasn’t quite sure how to process what he’d heard. His cheeks were stained with tears and he looked like a crazed, wounded animal, chilling Eren right to the bone. He was scared, scared of what Reiner would do to them, to himself.

But then a voice rang out behind him, and Eren swore every ounce of his blood froze over at once.

“What are you doing here?”

In front of him, Levi’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, his mouth dropping open in shock. Reiner was still a mess, blubbering apologies, but right now Eren wasn’t focusing on him. He turned around, heart hammering and fingers shaking.

Erwin stood in the open door, looking just as much of a wreck as he’d been the previous night. He was dressed in a white shirt, cargo pants and a jacket, the plainest Eren had ever seen him. Like yesterday, his once immaculate hair was all over the place, and even just by looking at him, Eren could tell that he was drunk again. The bags under his eyes were still there, albeit the left one accompanied by a rapidly darkening bruise.

“Erwin,” Eren breathed, his brain trying to connect what was going on. “Why are you he-” He froze, slowly turning to Reiner.

“You called him as well, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry,” Reiner barely managed, doing his best to attempt to curl into a ball while still standing up. It made sense, with how erratic Reiner was at the moment. Why stop with just calling Eren and Bertholdt, when he could try to absolve all of his sins at once, before ending it?

Erwin stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him. Eren hadn’t even realised he’d left it open when he’d entered, but to be fair, the sight of Reiner with a knife to his neck had distracted him. God knows anyone could’ve heard them shouting through the building, but with the majority of the apartments being leased out to students, Eren could only hope that most of them were at the fundraiser and not here.

In front of him, Erwin smiled weakly. “I didn’t know you would be here, Eren. But I’m glad tha-”

“Stop,” Eren gasped, feeling emotion surge up in him. “Just stop.”

“…I’m sorry?”

“You _killed_ them.” Levi finally found his voice, stepping forward in front of Eren. “It was you.”

Erwin just stared, dumbly. “I… don’t know what you mean.”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Levi thundered, making even Eren flinch. Reiner was sniffling and making unintelligible noises somewhere, but he couldn’t focus on him right now. “Don’t pretend you don’t know who I am, you fucker! You killed Farlan and Isabel! You killed my family!”

Erwin had recoiled as well, his drunken state clearly not able to process what Levi was saying. He looked back and forth, between Eren and Levi, before he scoffed.

“You think I killed Farlan. _My_ Farlan?”

“You don’t get to call him that.” Levi’s voice scraped back, as sharp as a knife.

“I loved him. I’d never kill him.”

“You were cheating on him, you asshole,” Reiner managed, finally speaking up. When Erwin’s stare turned on him, Reiner whimpered and took a step back. “I- I didn’t mean for this to happen, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled to no one in particular as he wrapped his arms around himself.

“Shut up, Reiner,” Levi barked, not even looking his way as Reiner whimpered again. “You had his ring. He never left it anywhere except in his room. So. How. Did. You. Get. _It_.”

“He left it at my house,” Erwin argued right back, now getting heated himself. “Because he trusted me, _loved_ me. Is that what you wanted to hear, boy? That your best friend chose me over you, that he didn’t reciprocate your creepy little crush?”

“Don’t patronise me, fucker. Tell me the truth!”

“What, that I could give him what you couldn’t?”

The last few words came out as a sneer, with a level of hate that Eren hadn’t heard from Erwin before. It was fuelled at least in part by the alcohol, and god, even from this distance Eren could smell it on his breath. Levi was seething, clearly ready to fire back up again in a few seconds, and all Eren could do was stand there, frozen. He didn’t know what to do, who to believe.

As if sensing his fear, Erwin turned to him. “Eren, I would never do that. I could never kill someone. You know that, right?”

Eren didn’t say anything. All he could think about was Erwin’s eyes, wild and untamed as he’d wrapped his hands around Eren’s neck and all but choked the life out of him. There’d been something in those eyes that day at the beach house, something that Eren had been too afraid to acknowledge, not when he’d been just as reckless. Eren had wanted it back then, but now even the thought of it had every hackle rising and his mind was screaming for him to _run for the hills_.

He knew it, because Eren had seen eyes like that every time he looked in the mirror. Ever since he’d killed the men who had kidnapped Mikasa.

As he continued to stay silent, Erwin’s eyes widened, and Eren could visibly pinpoint the moment that the older man realised he’d lost him.

“Eren, I-”

“Isabel found out about you, didn’t she?”

Erwin froze.

Levi’s tone of voice had lowered again, but he still sounded just as dangerous. “Before they disappeared, Isabel told me that Farlan was going to tell me everything, which meant that she had to have known. Go on,” Levi sneered, when Erwin went to retort. “Tell me I’m wrong, that she didn’t find out about you two before you killed them both.”

Silence. And then.

“… I didn’t kill them, Eren. I don’t know what happened to either of them. Please believe me.”

But Eren couldn’t look Erwin in the eyes anymore, not now. Because while Erwin was still denying his role in everything, there still hadn’t been a refusal that Isabel had known.

“I _love_ you, Eren. This is real, you have to believe me.”

At that, Eren did look up, his buzzing thoughts clearing at that. “I don’t believe you.”

Erwin inhaled sharply, his hands clenching into fists by his sides.

“Eren-”

“Nile knew as well, didn’t he?” Eren continued, still staring straight at the floor. He wasn’t even really talking to Erwin, just voicing his thoughts out loud as he pieced things together in that moment. “He knew and he was trying to keep me away from you, because he’d seen you at your worst before. He knew about Farlan, didn’t he?”

Erwin’s eyes narrowed. “He knew we were together. But he doesn’t think I killed him, because _I didn’t do it_.”

“But that’s when he started acting cold towards you, though, right?” Eren shot back, not even sure where he was going with this. “Nile’s an asshole, but he knew about both Farlan and Reiner, and he told me that he tried to stop you from pursuing me. But you never went after me. I was the one chasing you, so explain that to me.”

“He doesn’t need to,” Levi interrupted, stopping Erwin from replying. “Because he’s a fucking predator. He reeled you in, Eren, just like he did to Farlan. Made you think he was the reluctant one, but it’s all just a sick game to him, isn’t it?”

Levi turned directly to Erwin, all but spitting at his feet. “I could see it the moment I saw you and him together, the way Eren looked at you when he kissed you. This is what you do, you manipulate naïve students like him or Farlan, or just seduce fucked up messes like Reiner who can’t keep their legs shut. You’re _sick_.”

Eren wasn’t even really focusing on what Levi was saying, too busy trying to unravel the tangled knot of thoughts in his mind. So it was no wonder he’d missed what Erwin hadn’t. And when the older man replied, it was completely unexpected.

“I didn’t kiss Eren last night.”

Levi stopped short in confusion. “What?”

“You said you saw me and Eren kiss, but the only time you’ve seen us together was last night, and I didn’t kiss him then. So unless you…” Erwin paused, his eyes lighting up. “It was you, wasn’t it? You took the pictures of Eren and I that night, didn’t you? And then you leaked them to the world.”

And once more, Eren felt like he’d been hit by a truck all over again.

Distantly, he was aware the Reiner was moving towards a wooden dresser by the wall, but Eren didn’t care. Not when he kept getting slammed by curveballs from every fucking direction.

Levi didn’t say a word, and Erwin laughed, cold and bitter. “Kenny had you leak them, I’m assuming. Unless you really are carrying a torch for Eren after all.” Before Levi could defend himself, Erwin turned to Eren. “Can’t you see what’s going on? He’s the one that _ruined_ us, Eren. Our lives are destroyed because of him. Surely you can’t believe him now, can you?”

Fucking hell, was Erwin serious right now?

“I don’t care.”

“What?” Erwin growled, recoiling. “Eren, how can you not-”

“People are _dead_, Erwin,” Eren interrupted, incredulous. “You think that- _us_, matters?”

“He ruined my life!”

Eren honestly didn’t know what he was meant to say to that, because even if it was true, Levi’s betrayal wasn’t the one that was stinging so much. Not when Erwin had truly played him for the fool, made him think that he was special, when in reality he’d just been Farlan’s replacement. Every moment they’d spent together flew through his head, only now it was Farlan laughing with Erwin over coffee, Farlan wearing that goddamn collar and wailing to be choked harder.

God, Eren felt sick.

Clearly seeing his turmoil, Erwin’s face collapsed and his anger dissipated. “Eren, please. You have to believe me.”

“Then help me believe,” Eren choked back, not realising until now that tears were welling up in his eyes. “What happened? Where were you when they disappeared?”

“Go on, try and convince us,” Levi sneered, clearly having found his voice again. Eren could hear his grief, the resignation underlining his words. Anger, sorrow and sympathy all surged through him at once. Despite what he’d said, Eren _did_ care that Levi had been the one to take and leak the pictures of him and Erwin, but how could he hate the man when he was this damaged?

But at the sound of Levi’s derisive voice again, Erwin’s eyes hardened and he rounded on him, Eren all but forgotten.

“You want to know what happened, you little shit? They’re not even dead, they just _left_ you.” When Levi stiffened, Erwin grinned cruelly, his drunken eyes lighting up. “That’s right. Farlan told me that you were all thinking of leaving Trost, but I bet you didn’t think they’d leave without you.”

Levi reeled back like he’d been electrocuted.

“They left you behind, because you’re poison, Ackerman. You and your uncle both! Rod was right to make the move he did, and Farlan was right to leave without you. You’re nothing!”

All at once, Levi let out a roar, and was charging Erwin. Eren screamed for him to stop, but his feet were rooted to the spot. Levi threw himself at Erwin, but even in his cloud of anger, he was no match for Erwin’s superior size.

One blow later and Levi was slumping against the wall, blood erupting from his nose as he shouted aloud.

“I’ll kill you! I’ll fucking kill you!” He roared to Erwin.

Erwin was already pacing towards Levi, his fist raised again, when Eren finally regained control of himself again. Before he knew it, he was pulling Erwin back, pleading with him to stop.

“Please, Erwin. We can work this out, just leave him alone,” he begged desperately.

And somehow, Eren got through to him, despite his intoxicated state. Erwin was swaying slightly, but upon seeing Eren up close, his gaze softened and he choked back a wet sob.

“I didn’t kill them, Eren. Please, you have to believe me.”

Eren wasn’t sure what to think anymore, and he knew that Erwin could tell that he now wasn’t sold on either option. But Erwin also let Eren pull him back from Levi, who was still cursing him while clutching his bleeding nose. It didn’t look broken, but Eren couldn’t be sure, not when he was preoccupied with keeping Erwin from attacking him again.

“I’ll listen, I promise I’ll listen to you,” he continued, as he and Erwin backed away from Levi, even if he wasn’t sure if he even meant it. “Just… just tell me what happened. Please.”

“I _did_,” Erwin replied, his voice cracking and Eren winced at the stench of beer on him. “I loved Farlan, I would never do anything to hurt him.”

Okay, he actually seemed like he meant it, seemed pretty convincing. And despite the certainty Eren had felt only moments ago, doubt was now creeping in again. The story had changed so many times just in the last few days, who’s to say it wouldn’t do so again, one more time? Maybe there really was an explan-

“That’s a lie.”

Honestly, Eren had forgotten that Reiner was even in the room, given how quiet he’d been in the storm of reveals. His sobbing had long since faded into the background, but turning to him now, Eren could see that there were still silent tears leaking down his cheeks. He looked frantic, that same deranged look in his eyes that Eren had come to associate with him at his worst.

“Reiner…” Eren began, not sure where this was going.

“You said you’d never hurt him, but that’s a lie,” Reiner cried, sniffing wetly. “How can you say that when you’d fuck me every time he looked away?”

Behind Eren, Erwin said nothing, but Eren could hear his ragged breaths.

“He found out about us, man!” Reiner continued hysterically. “He fucking caught you, told you it was over. I know you thought I couldn’t hear you two, but I did! He said it was done and then he was never seen again!”

Now that was enough to make Eren freeze, because Erwin hadn’t mentioned that. Hadn’t said that things between him and Farlan had ended badly. It was just another nail in the coffin, another piece of the puzzle that went towards building an overall a picture he desperately didn’t want to see, but could no longer deny.

Holding his breath, Eren slowly turned back to Erwin, ready to ask him if it was true, but the look of pure rage in the other man’s eyes made him falter.

“You… piece of shit,” Erwin seared, and Reiner flinched back like a whipped puppy. “You think you’re doing the right thing, spreading lies like you spread your legs?! I should’ve left you in a ditch, you fucking slut, just like your little bitch boyfriend who-”

And then Eren was recoiling back, because Reiner was pulling a gun out from his jacket pocket and pointing it straight at Erwin.

“What did you say? What did you do to Bertholdt?!”

No, no, no, no. There was no way Erwin had done something to Bertholdt, right? But Eren couldn’t even think about that now, because since when had Reiner had a _fucking gun_? He’d clearly grabbed it from the dresser with his earlier movement, but on the list of things he must’ve stolen over the years, a gun was pretty high up there in terms of consequences. Next to them, Levi was still slumped against the wall, bleeding and silent but watching the exchange with rapt attention.

Surprisingly, Erwin didn’t react to the gun. He was really showing his intoxication now, face twisted into a permanent, derisory sneer.

“Go on, Braun. Shoot me. My life’s already over, fucking do it.”

“Tell me what you did to Bertholdt!”

Eren could only stand there in silence, like he was watching the biggest fucking car crash play out in slow motion.

“I knew it, you don’t have the balls for it. You’re worthless, and now that your piece of shit boyfriend knows it he’s going to see it too, if he’s even still conscio-”

_BANG!_

The sound was almost surreal, and Eren lurched back like he’d been the one shot. But he was fine, and a moment later, Erwin collapsed to the floor, red already staining his white shirt.

The silence seemed to drag on for an eternity, but in reality it was only a split second before Eren was gasping, his whole body shaking as he looked at where Erwin had fallen against the wall. There was blood pouring from the wound in his upper left shoulder, and although Eren’s mind logically told him that it wasn’t a kill shot, he couldn’t help but think otherwise, because Erwin wasn’t moving.

“Oh god,” Reiner moaned, and Eren spun to see him shaking like a leaf. The gun was still in his hands, hanging by his side.

“I didn’t mean to…” Reiner was babbling, looking towards Eren with crazed eyes. “Fuck, he just…”

Eren saw it too late, the way Reiner’s panicked expression was wiped away by something new, something resolved. He should’ve seen it coming, given how Reiner had been on a ledge the whole night, had been seconds away from killing himself before everything with Erwin had come to light.

But he still reacted too late, his eyes widening as Reiner quickly brought the gun up again, this time to press it against his own temple in a clear attempt to end his life.

“No!”

Eren hadn’t seen it coming, but Levi had, and this time another shot rang out, only for the bullet to go flying through the roof as Levi tackled Reiner to the floor. Eren hadn’t even seen him move, but he must’ve been doing so just after Reiner had shot Erwin in order to get there in time.

Either way, the two of them went down like a bag of rocks, slamming into the kitchen bench on the way with a sickening crack. The gun slipped out of Reiner’s hand and skidded along the floor, but Eren wasn’t looking at it anymore. He didn’t know where to look, not when he was left standing alone amongst three slumped forms.

Levi was the first to move, the man slowly pushing himself off of Reiner’s massive body, who was still motionless. And then Eren saw the blood on the edge of the kitchen bench.

“Oh god…”

“He’s okay, I think,” Levi panted, his nose still dripping blood. “Just hit his head on the counter as we went down.”

That didn’t make Eren feel much better, all things considered. Because he was still just standing there, amongst a shot Erwin, an unconscious Reiner and a bloody Levi.

And then Eren began to think logically again, because two fucking gunshots had just gone off. Oh, and someone was potentially bleeding out. But even as he looked at Erwin, Eren couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. Growing up as the son of a doctor, he knew that the fact that blood was only dribbling, and not spurting, was a good sign. It meant that Reiner hadn’t hit an artery, and maybe not even any of the major veins. Potentially the cephalic, if the sight of the bullet wound was anything to go by, but he didn’t have time to double check now.

Not when Erwin wasn’t in any major danger of bleeding out in the next minute, and anyone could come knocking in the meantime.

“We need to move them,” he said, drawing Levi’s attention. “If anyone heard that, they’ll come knocking. We need to get them both somewhere out of view, then call an ambulance for to get them help.”

“What? We can’t do that, what do we tell them?”

“The _truth_,” Eren hissed back, already moving towards Reiner’s feet.

Levi didn’t look happy, but was already looping his arms under Reiner’s armpits as Eren lifted. Reiner’s head lolled to the side, his eyes shut, and Eren couldn’t help but notice how peaceful he was. All signs of the crazed, fanatic man were gone, now he just looked like someone deep asleep. It would change, of course, because there was no way Reiner would be able to get out of this, not when he’d just shot someone.

They ended up hauling him to the bathroom, if only because it was the closest room to them that was out of sight, in case anyone came knocking to the door before they were ready. Reiner was big, big enough that Eren and Levi could barely lift him between them, and already Eren was groaning at the thought of having to move Erwin as well.

As they placed Reiner on the floor, half his body still hanging out of the open doorway, Eren groaned.

“I’m going to call the ambulance. Can you make sure Erwin’s okay?”

Levi stayed silent, and Eren swore.

“Dammit, this is serious, Levi! We can’t have him dying on us, not when we need him to prove what happened!”

That seemed to galvanise him into action, however, and as Levi stalked off, he grabbed a few towels on his way out, no doubt to help stop the flow of blood. Logically, Eren should’ve been the one to do it. But he couldn’t face Erwin, not after seeing what’d he’d become, what he’d been revealed to be all along.

Pulling out his phone, Eren shakily unlocked it. No one had knocked on the door yet, which could only meant that his earlier assumption was right and that all of Reiner and Bertholdt’s student neighbours were at the fundraiser too. Clicking on the phone app, he quickly tapped in 911, and was about to press dial when he heard it.

A dull thump, followed by a muffled yelp.

Every hair standing on edge, Eren tentatively left his phone by Reiner’s side, before moving back into the main room.

“Levi?”

But as he rounded the corner, Eren froze again, because Levi was on the floor, desperately scrambling at the hands pinning him down. Erwin was looming over him, looking as hulkingly massive as Eren had ever seen him, dwarfing Levi’s tiny form in comparison. Despite his injury, he’d managed to pin Levi down, hands wrapped around Levi’s neck and pressing down with enough force to make Levi’s mouth hang open in a silent gasp.

Blood was leaking out of the wound in Erwin’s shoulder, down his arm and dripping all over Levi.

“No, stop!” Eren shouted, immediately running towards Erwin. If he could just talk him down, like he did last time, then maybe they could work this out.

He shook Erwin, trying to snap him out of it, but the man wasn’t listening. He looked crazed, not for the first time that night, and desperately, Eren used all his force to push Erwin off of Levi.

It worked in part, but not because Eren managed to push Erwin away. Instead, the man’s attention turned to him, and before Eren could react, Erwin was pushing him back and shoving Eren roughly to the ground. With Erwin’s full weight on top of him, Eren grunted in pain as he felt something in his chest crack, and knew it must’ve been his ribs. The pain wasn’t too intense, but with every passing instant the weight on him increased and Eren shouted out in desperation.

If Erwin registered the injury he’d inflicted on Eren, he didn’t show it. Instead, he snarled down at him.

“Stay down, Eren,” he all but begged, the stench of beer flowing over him. And then Erwin was gone, hauling himself back over to Levi, who in the distraction had frantically tried to crawl across the floor for Reiner’s discarded gun.

But he didn’t get there in time, and then Erwin was barrelling into Levi and straddling his chest again, making him groan as those hands wrapped around his neck once more.

“You took _everything _from me!” Erwin shouted, clearly hysterical. “My life is over because of you!”

Dazed, Eren groggily brought himself up to a sitting position, slumping against the wall Erwin had practically thrown him towards. He took in the scene around him, his mind not quite comprehending what was going on, what he needed to do.

Levi looked tiny under Erwin’s body, like a little kid being held down by a much larger adult. His legs were kicking and flying all over the place, and he was thumping against Erwin’s arms and body with his hands. But even injured, Erwin didn’t flinch, and Eren could see the pure hatred in his eyes as he pushed harder down on Levi’s neck. Levi’s struggles became weaker, his right leg twitching once, twice, before he began to slacken and fade under the older man’s weight.

_Levi was going to die if he didn’t do something_

Only now, as Eren looked, it wasn’t Levi under Erwin’s hands anymore. It was Farlan, struggling desperately and crying as Erwin ended his life. And then Eren saw himself, naked and babbling as that leather collar constricted him just as tightly as the strong hands it belonged to.

This was his fault. He should’ve gone to the police the moment he found out Erwin was involved. No, the moment he found the ring in the first place. Eren had let his feelings for Erwin, Reiner and Bertholdt get in the way of doing the right thing, and now Reiner was unconscious and Levi was dying. All because of the personal attachments he’d formed.

Watching the struggle play out in front of him, Eren swallowed and made up his mind.

He went to push himself to his feet, only for his right hand to wrap around something.

His fingers curled around the handle.

All at once, Eren let out a scream as he charged at Erwin. The adrenaline of the moment along with the run-up was enough, and with a grunt of pain he collided into them both, sending himself and Erwin topping to floor beside Levi. Under him, Erwin snarled and went to defend himself, but Eren was already thinking beyond that, and brought his right fist down, before doing so again, stabbing into Erwin’s face over and over again.

On some level, he’d registered that it was Reiner’s knife in his hand, that he’d landed near where it’d been discarded earlier. And he’d made the conscious decision to hold onto it, but Eren didn’t know what exactly had brought him to use it.

But he did, again and again, over and over even though Erwin hadn’t fought back since the first attack. Eren kept it going, needing to keep Levi safe, himself safe, making sure that Erwin could never hurt anyone ever agai-

“Eren!”

Levi’s voice cut through his stupor, and Eren stopped, the knife still clutched in his right hand. It was dripping in blood, running off the end of the blade and also down his fingers and oh god, what had Eren done.

Erwin was barely recognisable underneath him.

Letting out a shaky breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding back, Eren lurched and fought down the urge to vomit. Erwin’s blood was splattered all over the floor, all over Levi and all over Eren.

“Fuck, Eren,” Levi panted, his hair all over the place and his neck already bruising. “What have you done?”

On the floor, lifeless eyes stared back up at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo....
> 
> It was Erwin! I know a lot of you guys guessed him, which is probably in part due to me not hiding it toooo well, but I'm still happy I kept it at least a little bit up in the air until now. As it turned out, writing 16 chapters worth of flash-forwards without revealing who's dead and keeping alternatives open, while still making them interesting, is actually pretty hard!
> 
> On that note, quick shoutout to gleabach, who called the reveal almost to the tee back in chapter 15!! I still like to think that I caught people by surprise with the reveal that Levi leaked the pics though!
> 
> Last thing: the comments up to here have blown me away, and I'd really appreciate the feedback for how people thought the mystery turned out. Obviously, some of the red herrings and loose ends still have to be tied up, which will happen next chapter, when the flash-forwards play out in real-time, with the bits filled in between. And there's still a bit more to come after that, so everyone stay tuned.
> 
> Another reason that feedback would be greatly appreciated is that I currently may or may not be in the process of writing a sequel, complete with its own murder mystery, and would really like the chance to hear what did/didn't work with this one.
> 
> Okay, sorry for the rambling author's notes, but that's it for me this week. Take care and see ya next week!


	18. The Long Night, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”
> 
> “I-” Eren started, before halting, because he was choking on vomit. “He was going to kill you, Levi.”
> 
> The ragged rise and fall of Levi’s chest was clear. “You killed him, Eren. You killed him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm back with part two of the big event! First of all, I wanted to say a massive thank you for all the support I got with the last chapter, I was overjoyed to see it went over well. Apparently, killing off one of the romantic leads can make an author kind of nervous sometimes ;)
> 
> As for this chapter, it's a bit of a doozy and if I'm being honest, it was the hardest chapter to write out of them all. I had a lot to think about when it came to deciding what parts of the flash-forwards to re-hash and what to skim over. I definitely didn't want to just do a copy n' paste of the previous chapters in order to inflate the word count.
> 
> That being said... I think I've done a pretty good job at filling in the blanks and having it all make sense. I would recommend going back and reading the flash-forwards at the end of each chapter though, if you're a bit lost. And of course, if there's any glaring mistakes or bits left out, please let me know and I'll change things up. The last thing I want is people to be confused!
> 
> Oh, last thing- TRIGGER WARNINGS: the same as last chapter (discussions of suicide and murder, etc). There's also maybe a tad more detail as to how they dispose of the body, although I don't get too gory at all. Still, if discussion of corpses isn't your cup of tea, be warned.

**Now. 9:04pm**

“Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”

“I-” Eren started, before halting, because he was choking on vomit. “He was going to kill you, Levi.”

The ragged rise and fall of Levi’s chest was clear. “You killed him, Eren. You _killed_ him.”

Eren swallowed, his throat feeling like sandpaper. In his hand, the knife continued to drip blood onto the wooden floor. Looking down at the mangled form of Erwin Smith in front of him, he sucked in a shaky breath, before slowly standing up. The knife fell from his slack fingers, clattering against the floor.

Levi had stood up as well, and was pacing back and forth frantically, wiping at his nose to clean away the still dripping blood. Eren watched him go, his heart hammering. He could feel the panic rising in him, but before it could grip him Eren forced himself to take a long, deep breath, and thought back to when he was a kid. Closing his eyes for a split second, Eren let Levi’s steps fade into the background and focused on his breathing.

He’d done this before. This was no different. This man (he wasn’t going to think about his name, not now) was a murder, just like they had been. Eren was just saving someone he cared for again, stopping someone innocent from being killed.

He let go of all thoughts about Erwin, about Farlan and Isabel and Reiner. About Levi betraying him by leaking the pictures. Right now, he had a job to do, and the man next to him was an ally, not an enemy.

That was it. Another deep breath. In. Out. Ignore the pain of his ribs, which were probably fractured or at least badly bruised. Repeat, and then again, until he felt ready to open his eyes.

There. He was ready.

By the time Eren’s breathing had finally slowed down to normal, Levi was slumped against the back wall, his head in his hands. When Eren approached, the other man looked up, even more blood smeared across his face and dripping from his nose. Despite his typical composed expression still being painted on, Eren could see his hands shaking.

It was fine, though. Eren could do this.

“Levi… are you okay?”

***

**9:08pm**

“Eren? Where are you? We’ve been looking all-”

“Mikasa,” Eren cut off, his voice oddly calm, “I need to you come find me. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, and come alone.”

“Eren? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but-” He paused, catching his breath. “What happened seven years ago, to do with your parents? I’ve done it again, and I need your help.”

He didn’t elaborate any further than that over the phone, knowing it that statement alone enough to send her into high alert. More could come when Mikasa was here with him and there was no chance of anyone tracing the call. Eren finished up by giving her Reiner and Bertholdt’s address and apartment number. Mikasa had said that she’d borrow Annie’s car, which seemed risky, but for now, would have to do.

By the time he’d hung up, Levi was looking murderous.

“What the hell did you just do, brat? You’ve just screwed us. Your sister is going to take one look at this and-”

“I killed three people when I was twelve years old,” Eren interrupted, and Levi stopped dead. “Mikasa helped me hide the bodies. She’ll help again.”

Levi stared at him blankly for what seemed like forever, before he surprised Eren by laughing. Eren wasn’t sure if he’d seen Levi laugh like this before, so open and blatantly… derisive. It was unsettling.

“Oh my god, you’re an actual psychopath, aren’t you? Fuck, and here I thought I was the messed up one. This is just another Friday for you and your freak sister, isn’t it?”

As Levi continued to prattle on, clearly not handling their situation all too well, Eren looked around and started to think. The body (again, he wasn’t going to call it by its name, not now) would need to be disposed of, somehow. Last time, there’d been an entire forest to hide the bodies in, with no one around them for miles. He, Mikasa and later Zeke had had all night to scatter the evidence, to make it look an animal attack if any of the remains were found.

It would be much harder trying to hide a body in one of the biggest cities in the country, on a night where everyone who mattered would be out and about.

Seeing that Levi was still freaking out, Eren sighed.

“They were murderers, too, you know.” When Levi stopped pacing and looked his way, Eren clarified his statement. “The people I killed. They were murderers and rapists, and they’d just killed Mikasa’s parents. And god knows what they were about to do to Mikasa, so I made a decision, and I stand by it.”

Levi huffed. “Well aren’t you just the ultimate hero, Yeager.” But a second later he was taking a deep breath of his own, before sighing in resignation. “Come on, we have shit to do. Let’s try and clear up some of the blood before your sister gets here.”

***

**9:23pm**

Mikasa took it well, all things considered.

Instead of asking how or why, she’d simply put together a plan, not wanting to hear another word until Erwin was out of sight and rolled up in the rug stretched out on the living room floor. Because above all else, Mikasa was focused.

Of course, if Eren had thought that lifting an unconscious Reiner was hard, trying to haul a dead body onto a rug, before rolling said rug up without making a mess, was a whole other deal. He also knew that Bertholdt loved this rug, but at this point they had no other option to get the body out without anyone noticing.

Beside him, Mikasa grunted from the effort, and Eren continued to roll, ignoring his ribs once again until the job was done.

With Erwin finally rolled up in the rug, Mikasa turned to him, frowning.

“Okay. Tell me what happened.”

Explaining everything to her had been horrible, of course, and he’d almost broken down all over again. Levi had helped, but Mikasa had wanted to hear it from him, especially given how biased Levi was with Farlan and Isabel. So Eren had explained everything, as quickly as he could, until she was nodding along with him.

“I’m sorry,” Eren rasped, looking at the ground as he finished explaining. “I fuck u-”

“Eren.” Before he could finished, Mikasa had interrupted him, placing a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up, she was staring at him with determination. “Don’t worry about that now. Let’s get through this, together.”

Eren swallowed. She was right.

They’d done this once before, the two of them together. They could do it again.

***

**9:37pm**

Tentatively, Eren pulled his phone back out of his pocket, only to freeze when he saw the number dialling him.

“Who is it?” Levi asked, still frozen.

Instead of answering, Eren just turned his screen to show them, and watched the colour drain from their faces.

Erwin Smith.

“You need to answer it,” Mikasa said after a beat.

“It’s not him, though.”

They both levelled him with a look that said “duh”, and Eren rolled his eyes. Mikasa was right. If an official investigation ever came of this, phone records would likely be tapped, which meant that Eren calling Erwin on repeat for a week, only to not answer when he called on the night of the disappearance, would seem very odd to any outside observer.

So he steeled his nerves, before answering and holding the phone to his ear.  
  
“Erwin?”

“It’s me,” a voice said on the other end that he vaguely recognised. When Eren stayed silent, they continued. “Fu- Nile. It’s me, Nile Dok. Have you seen Erwin?”

“No,” Eren replied, deliberately not looking at the make-shift sausage roll in front of him. Mikasa and Levi were looking at him questioningly, but Eren waved them off. He needed to act natural if he was going to pull this off. “What’s going on? Why do you have his phone?”

Somehow, Nile must’ve been with Erwin, after he’d received Reiner’s call but before leaving to come here.

“That doesn’t matter. We were just with him, look-” Nile stopped short, pausing for a second before continuing. “He’s not doing well, Eren. He’s drunk, and he almost got arrested. The police are looking for him now, so you need to stay away from him, okay? If you see him tonight, don’t talk to him. _Please_, he’s dangerous.”

It was almost funny, how much just one piece of crucial information could change the way an entire conversation was viewed. Because only a day before, Eren had viewed Nile Dok as a jealous, bitter ex-lover, doing anything in his power to spite his ex and beat him in a battle for university tenure. But now, after knowing what Erwin had done, he could begin to see where Nile was coming from.

He was an asshole, yes. But he was an asshole who’d spent the last half a year thinking his childhood friend and ex-boyfriend was a murderer, yet not having the evidence to come forth. From an objective standpoint, Nile should’ve come forward and told the police, but Eren could understand why he hadn’t. If it’d been Mikasa or Armin who’d done something terrible, something that was that morally reprehensible, Eren would be disgusted, but he would never turn on them. He could never do that.

But Eren couldn’t let Nile know that he understood him, not when he couldn’t trust him completely. Because no matter how much Nile apparently wanted to protect Eren from Erwin, he’d turn on him the moment he found out what Eren had done. So Eren thought back to their previous conversation, the day before, when he’d all but accused Nile of leaking the pictures and trying to spite Erwin. He needed to return to that state of mind.

He needed to be in love with Erwin.

“Why would I believe you over him?” Eren sneered back into the phone. “I trust Erwin a hell of a lot more than I trust you.”

“You can’t-” Nile began, before sighing in frustration. “Eren, he’s going down for this, you know that right? After the shit he’s pulled tonight, the hearing tomorrow is only going to end one way. Stop being a lovesick teenager and think for yourself.”

“And what if I am? What if I still want this?”

Nile scoffed on the other end of the call. “You really think he’ll still want you after you’re the reason he’s fired and his career falls apart? I know you think you’re doing the right thing, Eren. But stop for one second and just think about this.” Nile paused, before finishing. “Do the right thing tomorrow, and just move on with your life.”

Without another word, he hung up, leaving Eren holding the phone to his ear in silence.

***

**9:45pm**

“Eren, what did you just put in Connie’s van?”

He couldn’t look Bertholdt in the eyes.

***

**9:46pm**

Eren’s heart was thumping as he stopped running, not sure what to do. Once Bertholdt had gotten a look at the shape and weight of the rug they’d been hauling, all Eren had been able to do was scream the only thing that would save them.

“It’s not Reiner! He’s okay, Bertl, I _fucking swear_ he’s okay. He’s upstairs right now, just calm down and we can-”

But Bertholdt had surprised Eren and Mikasa both with his speed, legging it back up the stairs to his apartment before they could stop him, and was now standing in the doorway. Mikasa was panting next to him by the time Eren got there, having beaten him but not Bertholdt. Bertholdt, who had stopped dead in the open doorway after ripping it open. And it was only as Eren caught up to them that he could the see inside, could see what Bertholdt could see.

Levi. Still covered in blood himself, caught in the act of cleaning up the pool of blood on the kitchen floor.

“Wha- what’s going… why are you…”

He was stuttering, and Eren could practically see Bertholdt’s thought process, as the other man looked down at Levi and the blood, and then back to Eren and Mikasa. He looked on the verge of a meltdown, so Eren got there first in order to nip the main problem in the bud.

“Reiner’s safe. He unconscious, in the bathroom.”

Bertholdt was moving across the apartment without another word, barely glancing at Levi and the blood before turning the corner and gasping.

“Oh god,” he breathed in shock, as he dashed towards his boyfriend. “Reiner!”

Eren tentatively stepped into the apartment after him, before glancing down at Levi.

“I’ll fix this,” he ground out, when Levi looked ready to erupt all over again. He’d had the foresight to lock up Connie’s van before coming back up, knowing that if Mikasa couldn’t beat Bertholdt up, no one could, but he still didn’t like the idea of the body being down there alone.

“Fix this?” Levi growled, looking incredulous. “How are you going to _fix this?_”

And honestly, he had no idea. But then Mikasa was stepping forward. “I have an idea,” she offered, managing a weak smile when Eren turned to her in question. “Do you trust me?”

“Always,” he replied, not missing a beat.

So, after assuring Bertholdt that Reiner was okay and in no immediate need of an ambulance, they sat him down on the sofa, Eren and Mikasa sitting opposite him as Levi continued to clean. Eren stayed silent, waiting for Mikasa to say something. She looked hesitant, and Eren was sure that whatever she was planning, it was going to have ramifications.

But then again, what didn’t at this stage.

Mikasa took a deep breath, before turning to face Bertholdt straight on. “Reiner killed Professor Smith. He shot him, and that’s who was in the back of the van.”

Eren blinked, doing his best to keep a straight face while staring at Mikasa. What was she thinking?

On the sofa, Bertholdt was gaping. “What? Reiner would never do something like that! What do you mean, he _killed_ him?”

But Mikasa was ready for that, and Eren just sat there in silent shock as she effortlessly weaved Bertholdt a fake tale of the night’s events.

Most of it was rooted in the truth, now that Mikasa knew enough herself, after being filled in just minutes earlier. In her tale, Reiner had still been cheating on Bertholdt with Erwin, and had still called both of them, as well as Eren, as a last-minute form of absolution before trying to kill himself. Eren had still arrived in time to stop him, only for Erwin and Levi to also arrive and the truth about Farlan and Isabel’s deaths to come out. The only thing that changed in the story was that Reiner had shot Erwin in heart, and that Erwin had died on the spot. Reiner had then tried to kill himself, only for Levi to tackle him and knock him out in the process.

When she finished, Bertholdt looked like he’d aged ten years. And god, how could Eren have ever thought that he’d had something to do with all this?

“I don’t believe you,” he said after a moment, his eyes cast down at the floor.

“It’s true,” Eren croaked, both relieved and sick at the same time when Bertholdt looked up to meet his gaze with so much vulnerability. “I promise you, Bertl, she’s telling the truth. We’re trying to protect Reiner, you know I’d never hurt him.”

Bertholdt looked like he was going to fall into a thousand pieces, and Eren knew then that this would be the moment that would keep him up at night. It was one thing to kill someone bad, someone who deserved it. But to frame an innocent, mentally ill man who couldn’t defend himself?

Eren would go to hell for this, he knew it.

“Erwin was a murderer, Bertholdt,” Eren continued, fighting down the bile at the back of his throat. “Reiner tried to do the right thing and turn him in, but it went wrong. I’m not going to let him go down for this, you just have to trust us. And when Reiner does wake up, he’ll tell you everything, I know it.”

Eren was almost certain that in that moment in which Reiner had turned the gun on himself, he’d thought he’d killed Erwin. Hell, Eren had thought Erwin was dead too, before he’d gotten a proper look at him. It was likely why Reiner had tried to kill himself in a split-second decision, thinking there was no coming back from his act.

And then another thought occurred to him, and he twisted the knife deeper in.

“But you already knew Reiner was sleeping with Erwin, didn’t you?”

Bertholdt blinked back tears, before taking a second to find his voice. “Like I said before, I ran into him- uh, Erwin, on the way here. We must’ve both been coming this way. He was drunk, he started yelling at me. It started off about you, Eren, how he was trying to find you as well. But when I wouldn’t tell him where you were, he suddenly started calling Reiner a slut. I, uh, got mad, and then he told me.”

After pausing momentarily to take a ragged breath, Bertholdt continued. “He… told me that he’d been fucking Reiner for a year. He started telling me all this stuff, shit that only someone who’d slept with him would know. I knew he was drunk, but I just… fuck, I got so mad. I started it by punching him in the face, but then the next thing I knew I was on the ground and my head was spinning.”

Well, at least that explained the blood that was drying on the side of Bertholdt’s right ear. Not to mention the developing black eye Erwin had been sporting as well.

Bertholdt choked on his words, and Eren leant forward to put a hand on his knee. “Hey, it’s okay, Bertl. He was drunk, and an asshole. It’s over now, okay?”

Instead of replying straight away, Bertholdt nodded, still too choked up to speak. Eventually, though, he looked back at Eren and Mikasa.

“What are we going to do? Reiner can’t go to prison. He’ll try to kill himself again the first chance he gets.”

Next to him, Mikasa shook her head. “We’re not going to let that happen, Bertholdt. Eren’s right, we’re going to keep him safe. But we need to you do something first, though.”

“What is it?” Bertholdt rasped, before coughing softly and rubbing at the side of his head.

Eren had a feeling that he knew where this was going, and so stayed quiet as Mikasa continued. “We need you to tell the police that it was just you here tonight. That you came home to see Reiner about to kill himself, and that you did what Levi did, and tackled him to the ground. None of us were here tonight, not even Erwin.”

Bertholdt blinked in shock at them, looking back and forth between him and Mikasa before replying. “You want me to… lie to the police? I can’t do that.”

“It’s the only way Reiner gets out of this,” Eren replied, feeling sick. “You call the ambulance, tell them you banged your head as well when you both fell. I’m pretty sure you have a concussion, so it’ll be okay if you’re slightly sketchy on the details. Get Reiner the help he needs, have him be put on suicide watch. If the police do eventually come to question you, you’ll have had enough time to get your story straight.”

When Bertholdt still looked doubtful, Eren leant forward to reach for his hand. “You can do this, Bertl, I know you can. For Reiner, yeah?”

It took a few seconds, but eventually Bertholdt was nodding, albeit looking sick at the same time.

“Just one problem,” Levi spoke up from the kitchen and shit, Eren had forgotten the fucker was still here. “The blood isn’t coming out of the floor. I know a way to fix it, but it will take time. If the EMTs come here, they’ll suspect something more than your little story.”

Fucking hell. Why couldn’t one thing tonight go as planned?

“I’ll take him down to the ground floor after I call,” Bertholdt said suddenly, surprising Eren with his proactiveness. “I’ll take the gun with me. If it’s just EMTs coming in an ambulance, they won’t come up to check the apartment, will they?”

It sounded kind of flimsy, but Levi was nodding. “That might work. It will give me enough time to get the apartment set up in the way we need. If the police even do bother to check in here, it won’t be until tomorrow for sure. But if you and Reiner both say it was an attempted suicide and nothing more, I can’t see them having much motivation to bother.”

He sounded confident, and Eren was willing to go with Levi’s expertise on this one. After all, the guy ran with the biggest crime boss in the city. If any of them knew the inner workings of the Trost police force, it was probably Levi.

But what Levi had said brought up the other potential flaw in the plan, and Eren turned back to Bertholdt. “The most important thing is that you stay by Reiner’s side the _entire time_. When he wakes up, you need to tell him that we’re working to save him, and that he can’t say anything about Erwin.”

What Eren didn’t say was that if Reiner _did_ try to go down for the crime, they’d all be the one’s paying instead. Because the moment any sort of investigation went forward regarding what had happened tonight, it would become apparent that Erwin Smith hadn’t died from a gunshot to the chest. No, the fifty fucking thousand stab wounds in the face would be a dead giveaway.

But for the first time that night, Bertholdt looked somewhat confident, and he smiled thinly at Eren.

“I will. Thank you, Eren.” Bertholdt looked at him, before turning to Mikasa and Levi as well. “You guys as well. Y-you’re all true friends.”

Despite the guilt threatening to eat him alive, Eren managed a smile back.

***

**10:06pm**

As the sirens faded into the distance, carrying Bertholdt and the still unconscious Reiner away with them, Eren relaxed a level tension he didn’t know he’d been holding in.

Turning back to the others, he looked first at Levi. “Do you think it will work?”

Levi nodded. “Kenny’s got his best people on the way here. They handle shit like this all the time, so don’t worry. They’ll be able to set the apartment up like it was just an attempted suicide.”

And Kenny was a whole other conversation Eren had to have, now to both Mikasa and potentially even Bertholdt.

But despite Levi’s assurance that it would be fine, Eren couldn’t help but worry. Because during the phone call that Levi had made to Kenny, Eren had pretended not to overhear the “you owe me, boy,” that had come from the other end of the line.

Eren let it go, however, and after they’d left Levi and returned to the Connie’s van, he turned to Mikasa. “You said you had an idea for the body?”

Mikasa nodded, although she didn’t look comfortable with it. “There’s woodlands around the outskirts of the city, so I was just thinking that we could go there. Do the same thing as last time.”

It was a good idea, to be fair. But even as they started up the van and began the drive, Eren knew it wasn’t enough. Last time, they’d had it easy. No one had suspected them, because they had been kids. But now, they’d need a more solid plan, complete with explanations for where they’d been tonight.

But even as he thought over what to do, Eren couldn’t help but circle back to Bertholdt and Reiner, and how he’d just destroyed both their lives.

***

**10:12pm**

Eren knew something still hadn’t clicked for him, because if it had he’d be heartbroken at what he’d done tonight, not just with Bertholdt but with the fact that he’d _just killed someone_.

Then again, he’d known for ages that something was fucked up with him, preferring to ignore it than to deal with it.

The hand on his cheek moved to his chin, and Eren let Mikasa bring his eyes back up to hers.

“We’re going to be okay,” she stated strongly, her words instantly steeling something in Eren. “We’re going to be okay, Eren. We just need to get out of the city, so that we can dump the body. Then we just act normal, go back to the fundraiser. Tomorrow, you go to your disciplinary hearing and we get away with this, you hear me?”

Fuck. Eren hadn’t even thought about tomorrow. How could he even think about facing the board in the state he was in?

Still, Eren knew they wouldn’t be able to get away with this by themselves, not even with Levi’s help. God, even if Mikasa had only been joking about him, she’d been so goddamn right.

Right now, Eren needed more than Levi. He needed family.

So, he swallowed, and tried to look sheepish as he spoke to Mikasa.

“… Is now a good time to tell you that Armin knows about everything up until tonight?”

***

**10:27pm**

“We are _not_ lying Sasha down next to a dead body,” Armin protested.

Even just hearing him say it sounded ridiculous, but as Eren looked at the remaining space in the car, he couldn’t help but think it was the best option.

Turning back to Mikasa and Armin, he at least tried to look sheepish. “I’m not saying we wrap her up in the fucking rug alongside him. She’d be in the back seat, the body behind her in the trunk. What’s the big deal?”

Armin looked at him, his eyes wide. “You’re kidding me, right? Mikasa, back me up on this, please!” He looked to her for reassurance, but she was staring at the open space in the vehicle.

After a moment, she sighed. “It’s the safest spot for her, Armin. We can put her in a seatbelt and still lie her down this way.”

Eren _did_ feel bad about it, to be fair. But they had nowhere else to take Sasha, and to be honest, Armin was right in that she’d be an important part of their alibi. Armin had come up with it all on the fly, but Eren knew better than to doubt him. After all, both he and Mikasa had quickly dumped their original plan of disposing of the body _first_, in favour of the long-con Armin had cooked up for them in the moment.

So, after strapping Sasha in, Eren looked at his two best friends. His family.

“Are you two going to be okay?” he asked.

Mikasa nodded. “Don’t worry about us. We’ll meet you back at the apartment. Are you sure you’ll be okay getting back to your place?”

Eren nodded, waving away her concern. “I’ll be fine. My building is between here and Reiner’s place, remember? You guys go fill in Levi, I’ll clean up and meet you back there.”

At the mention of Levi, Mikasa frowned. “He won’t be happy when we turn up with Sasha.”

“Just wait till he hears the plan for our alibi,” Eren snorted. When Mikasa quirked an eyebrow, he rolled his eyes. “Come on, you really think he’ll want to be seen and associated with me after all of this?”

***

**10:41pm**

Eren couldn’t go back to his dorm. Not right now at least, when Historia would be there, looking for him. And he had a crude idea what she wanted from him.

Whether it’d happened just tonight, or long before, Reiss had clearly gotten to his daughter.

***

**11:04pm**

“Have you worked out where we’re taking… you know?”

“The body?” Armin confirmed, before smiling confidently. And god, Eren was so fucking glad he was here to keep them together. “Don’t worry, Levi had an idea for that.”

Levi was still in Reiner and Bertholdt’s room, rummaging around for clothes of Bertholdt’s that he could wear. Bertholdt would be fine with it, of course, in the grand scheme of things, and all that mattered right now was that they got themselves looking presentable and disposed of Erwin’s body.

“We need to burn it first, though,” Armin added a second later, catching Eren and Mikasa’s attention. Eren stared in confusion, making Armin elaborate a second later. “Both yours and Levi’s DNA will be all over Erwin’s skin and under his nails. We need to burn it to remove any chance of someone tracking it back to you in the instance that he’s found.”

“Okay,” Eren agreed, because as much as he hated the thought of it, it did make sense. “So we burn him. Then what?”

When Armin glanced his way, it was with a heavy gaze.

“Then we scatter the remains. As far apart as we can. With any luck, Erwin will never be found.”

***

**11:30pm**

It was only as they made their way back to the fundraiser that Eren let himself think about what Levi had done, how he’d been the one to take and leak the pictures of him and Erwin. It made him bristle, and as he felt the weight of Levi’s hand in his, Eren fought back the urge to scowl.

“For the record, I hate this as much as you do.”

Eren didn’t look at Levi, but he felt the other man’s hand tense against his briefly.

“Somehow I doubt that, Yeager,” Levi hissed back, as they walked towards through the crowds of the fundraiser.

***

**12:13am**

“Wanna dance?”

Levi looked up, frowning. “Not really.”

“Me neither. But we need some more proof that we were here, so come on.”

***

**12:30am**

As the DJ changed tracks on the stage at the fundraiser, Eren felt Levi’s arms wrap tight around him. Fingers squeezed his ass through his jeans, but Eren wasn’t focusing on that, now that he was finally having the time to properly think everything over.

Levi had taken the pictures of him and Erwin, the night Eren had first kissed him. He wasn’t sure why, exactly, although he had a good idea as to the context. Amidst all the chaos earlier that night, Erwin had mentioned both Kenny and Rod Reiss by name. Not to mention, Levi himself had said something similar last night, although had brushed it off when Eren had questioned him.

God, what had Levi been thinking, that day he’d taken Eren to the Trost outskirts and comforted him about Erwin. Because even then, he’d known what he’d done, and yet he’d played the good friend to Eren the whole time.

Had Levi regretted his actions, when he’d seen the effect they’d had on Eren’s life?

And then there was Historia, who was presumably still out there somewhere, looking for him. For what, Eren didn’t know either, but she was his friend, and at some point, they would have to talk. But the fact that she had suddenly become informed about things between Reiss and Kenny that same night couldn’t be a coincidence. Of course, there was still the chance that she’d known about her father the entire time, but somehow he doubted that. If anything, that doubt was reinforced by the fact that Erwin hadn’t been overly familiar with her, and he’d clearly been in pretty deep with Reiss himself.

Erwin… oh god.

But even as he thought it, Eren pushed it down again. They weren’t done, not yet. And he couldn’t afford to let himself go until they’d gotten away with this. He needed to keep compartmentalising.

A second later, Eren looked down to see Levi staring up at him. The strobes lights from the DJ’s stage danced across them, lighting up Levi’s sharp features.

Eren just wondered how the two of them had managed to get to this point.

***

**1:07am**

“Think I can ignore it?” he asked, holding the screen up to show Armin and Levi the caller ID.

It was Levi who answered. “We only just left the fundraiser. It’ll be suspicious if you don’t answer.”

Armin was nodding in agreement, and honestly, Eren was happy to comply. Because amidst everything that had gone on, Eren was also kind of curious to know where the fuck he’d been for the entire night entire night.

“Hey man,” Eren greeted a second later, the phone to his ear. “Where did you end up goin-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Connie interrupted, sounding deathly serious. “You need to come to the hospital, now. Something’s happened.”

***

**1:42am**

They really didn’t have time for this.

It felt rude just thinking it, but it was true. After all, Eren had a body to dispose of, a body that was currently sitting in the trunk of a van parked outside Trost Hospital. It was too exposed for his liking, especially with the hospital waiting room filling up with his friends.

Next to him, Connie put his phone back into his pocket.

“Hanji’s on her way,” he said, frowning. “They’re shutting down the fundraiser early.”

Eren supposed that was fair. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to hang around and celebrate after this news dropped. Hell, half the GSA was already here, with Annie having just walked in, and Historia and Ymir already in the waiting room when Eren had arrived, Armin and Levi in tow.

Despite the fact that Eren now knew that Historia had been looking for him earlier, she had barely looked his way upon arrival, too busy crying into Ymir’s shoulder at the current state of affairs. And no one had still been able to get a hold of Jean and Marco, something that was beginning get seriously worrying.

Connie had told him that he’d already called Mikasa, but apparently she still had her hands full dealing with Sasha, who was now awake, albeit hunched over the toilet. Mikasa had driven her home in Annie’s car, which at least took care of that loose thread.

Eren couldn’t help but think she’d gotten the better end of the deal.

“… could happen.”

Connie words brought him back to reality, and Eren turned to him.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said I don’t understand how this could happen,” Connie repeated, looking distraught. “Reiner’s the happiest guy on the planet, he can’t have tried to…” Connie lowered his voice, “commit _suicide_.”

Eren pressed his lips together, shaking his head as he let Connie lean into him. “It’s terrible, I know. We just have to be here for him, Con.”

Bertholdt had appeared briefly a few minutes ago, ducking out of Reiner’s room to give them an update. Reiner was still unconscious, but Levi tackling him (Bertholdt, Eren reminded himself. The story was that it was Bertholdt now) hadn’t done any permanent damage, so they only had to worry about his mental state when he eventually awoke.

“I’m sorry for this,” Bertholdt had whispered in Eren’s ear when he’d first arrived, after leaning in to hug him. “Connie saw me when I went to the bathroom. I didn’t know he’d be here.”

Eren had just nodded, not holding it against Bertholdt. It was unfortunate, that they’d been delayed, but at the very least, he’d gotten to check in on Reiner’s condition, and make sure that Bertholdt had followed the plan (although how Eren got off on trying to be a good friend _now_, he didn’t really know).

As he watched Armin and Levi talk to the others, Eren turned to Connie.

“Where were you today? No one could find you after you walked off.”

Looking conflicted, Connie glanced at the others, before lowering his voice. “I was with Professor Dok.”

“What?” Eren gasped, not having expected that answer. Surely Connie and Nile weren’t…

“Not like that,” Connie whispered, upon seeing Eren’s expression. “He wanted my help… to talk to you, actually. He found out that I was in Professor Smi- I mean, Erwin’s class too and that I was your friend. He thought I could help be the middle man between you two.”

Okay, Nile was clearly more invested in this than Eren had thought. He wanted to be grateful for the man looking out for him, he really did, but it just meant that it would be yet another person breathing down his neck in the days to come. And if Nile was this devoted to following Erwin around, how long would it be before he started to realise something was wrong?

Fuck, how was Eren ever going to pull of pretending that Erwin had done a disappearing act after tonight?

“How did you end up here then?” Eren asked, clearing the worry from his thoughts for the moment.

“Funny story, actually. We found Erwin.”

And shit, Eren had forgotten that Nile had said he’d run into Erwin on the phone earlier. Before he could say another word, Connie was pulling up the side of his shirt, showing Eren a relatively large, waterproof bandage plastered to his side.

“What the fuck?!” Eren cried, only for Connie to shush him straight away.

“Keep your voice down, dude. I don’t want to make a big deal about it, not when there’s more important shit going on. We’re here for Reiner, remember?”

It was true, to be fair, but Eren still wasn’t satisfied. “What happened to you?”

“Erwin was completely wasted and ended up throwing a fucking beer bottle at me, when I wouldn’t tell him where you were. Professor Dok dropped me off here, before he had to go talk to the police.”

“Oh my god, Con.”

“I’m fine now, shut up,” Connie waved him off. “Didn’t even need stitches, I was on my way out of here when I ran into Bertholdt.”

“Still,” Eren protested, not sure what to say, “it’s… it’s shit. I’m sorry you got involved with this.”

“Eh, don’t worry about me. Besides who else can say that their college professor has thrown a glass bottle at them? You must’ve done a fucking number on him, that guy was a mess.”

That was all Connie said on the matter, before walking off to greet Hanji, who’d just arrived alongside Petra. Eren didn’t follow, not initially, to busy mulling over the words Connie had left him with.

Had this been him?

***

**2:16am**

“Erwin?” he asked into the recording. “I… I don’t even know why I’m calling this number. You aren’t answering your mobile anymore, so I thought if you heard this on your office line you might… fuck, I don’t know. I need to speak to you, I… I fucked up. I did something that I shouldn’t have. I need to make it right.”

Somewhere nearby, he heard Levi cough. Eren breathed shakily, holding back a sniffle. God, this was going to sound pathetic on the recording.

“I’m sorry, for everything. I need you to know that, even if you’ll never speak to me again. I- I don’t want to lose you.”

Taking another ragged breath, Eren swallowed. “I… I love you.”

He hung up, before wiping his tears away and getting to his feet. He had just one more job to do, and then he was done.

As he walked back towards the fire, Eren looked around his surroundings. After leaving the hospital, they’d made a beeline straight for the city’s outskirts, to Levi’s special spot at the abandoned pumping station that he’d shared with Eren, just a week ago. Only it didn’t feel quite so special now.

“It’s done,” he announced as he approached the dying fire.

Armin and Levi looked up as he approached, their faces pale and discoloured in the light of the flames. Despite having cleaned themselves earlier, all three of them were bloody again, after having to haul Erwin’s body out of the van, unravel it from the rug, and then carry it to the place where they were going to burn it.

Suffice to say, the rug had had to go, as well.

“I had to call his work phone,” Eren continued. “Nile Dok has his mobile, and he knows that I know that. But it still worked, I think.”

“Good,” Armin replied, eyes on the last of the flickering embers in front of them. “It’ll fit the narrative of you sleeping with Levi tonight, but regretting it and calling Erwin afterwards.”

Eren didn’t say anything. He could feel the energy slowly leaving his body, the resolve he’d built up over the night slowly beginning to crumble. Closing his eyes, Eren tried to focus on his breathing again, but he couldn’t concentrate when every inhale involved breathing in _that_.

He hadn’t anticipated the smell that came with burning a human body.

Only it didn’t even feel human anymore, because this wasn’t something people just did to each other. That they could reduce another being to mere charred ashes that vaguely resembled a person.

Fucking hell, Eren couldn’t even _recognise_ him now.

When the last of the flames died, the three of them stood in silence.

“What now?” Eren said, eventually.

“W-we, uh…” Armin began, before pausing as he dry-heaved in anticipation of what was to come. His eyes were watering “We have to c-cut it up, remember?”

“Fuck no,” Levi growled, taking a step back. “This is… this is _sick_. I can’t do that.”

They’d all known the plan going in, but in the moment, he couldn’t blame Levi for backing out. Eren felt his own stomach lurch again, as he looked at Armin, who was on the urge of passing out. He was paler than Eren had ever seen him before, and was swaying slightly.

“I’ll do it,” Eren found himself saying, even as he questioned himself. “You two spread out and start digging holes, okay?” He was surprised with how confident he sounded, even if he was anything but. For the entire night, he’d been able to force down his emotions, to compartmentalise and stop himself from actually realising _what he’d done_, but now as he stood over the burnt remains of his victim, he could feel himself beginning to unravel.

Despite the clear relief on his face, Armin frowned. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do this.”

“It’s my mess, A. I’ll clean it up.”

God, he was referring to a body as a _mess_.

Armin relented, though, picking up a shovel and beginning to follow Levi. Before walking off completely, however, he turned around.

“We’re almost there, Eren. Just hang on a little longer, okay?”

Eren nodded shakily, waving him off. Armin knew him so well. After he’d left, Eren reached for the axe, feeling its weight as he picked it up and walked over to the smouldering mass.

Okay. Time to get to work.

The first chop was surprisingly easy, the axe cutting straight through and digging into the soil underneath. Eren’s ribs ached from the force of the motion, but he ignored the pain and roughly pulled the axe out, getting ready for the next chop. When he swung again, Eren let out a soft groan, although whether it was from the pain or the sheer action of what he was doing, he wasn’t sure.

By the time he was done, Eren was grunting loudly with each swing, not realising how hysterical he was until he was done. With the last cut of the axe into the dirt beneath, all the energy seemed to leave his body, and he collapsed on the ground, shaking uncontrollably.

***

**2:42am**

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? I can come in if you-”

“I’m fine. I- I just need to…”

From driver’s seat, Armin nodded, even if he clearly didn’t like it. After Eren had collapsed into a useless heap, Armin had had to drive him back to his dorm, leaving Levi up in the city’s outskirts, continuing to fill countless holes with garbage bags of corpse. And Eren did feel bad about that, after all the shit he’d given Levi over the course of the night. But he hadn’t been able to cope with it anymore, and Armin and Levi had made the executive decision that he needed to sleep.

“You have a disciplinary hearing tomorrow,” Armin had argued when Eren had insisted that he needed to keep pulling his weight. “You need to be well-rested in order to pull that off, remember, so consider that the rest of your job for the night.”

It’d been hard to argue with his logic, and Eren was secretly relieved that it was over. For tonight at least. Armin was heading back up in the van to pick up Mikasa, who’d finally managed to get Sasha to bed without her vomiting. The two of them were then going to go back to meet Levi, and finish up there. They’d agreed to return the van to Connie the next day, who’d caught a lift back from the hospital with Historia and Ymir. That at least gave them time to clean the van out and change the plates back to the original ones.

As he opened the passenger side door and began to climb out, he turned back to Armin.

“Thank you, A.” When Armin opened his mouth to wave him off, Eren continued. “No, I fucking mean it. You’ve done so much tonight. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved in the first place, but I’m so fucking grateful for you. You’re my family, you know that, right?”

And despite the night they’d just had, Armin smiled, pure and with intent. “I’d do anything for you, Eren. You and Mikasa both.”

Eren nodded, feeling choked up all over again. He climbed out of the van, trying desperately to fight back his emotions for just a little longer.

“Eren!” Armin called out a second later, making him stop and turn. “Remember to clean up, again. You’re, uh, a bit of a mess.”

Fuck, if that wasn’t the understatement of the year. But Eren knew what he meant. Thanks to his usual bad luck, Eren had been the one to get the most blood on him once again, as they’d worked to carry and burn Erwin’s body. It wasn’t as much as the first time, and most of it was dried on the dark shirt of Levi’s he was wearing, but it was still probably noticeable under light.

As Armin disappeared in Connie’s van, Eren slowly made the journey into his dorm building. At this time of night, the lobby was deserted, but as he made his way to the stairwell, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in a wall mirror.

Fuck.

He had _Erwin’s_ blood on him.

Again, it wasn’t even that much, but it suddenly had Eren’s mind racing, the entire events crashing down on him all at once. As he stared at his reflection, he finally let the mental walls he’d constructed over the course of the night come down, repressed thought after thought flooding over him all at the same time.

What got him most was the black ash on his arms and fingers. Ash that was probably the cremated remains of-

_Fuck_.

He’d killed Erwin. The man he’d been head over heels for all semester.

The man he’d loved had been a murderer. He’d killed two people that were Eren’s age.

And then Eren had murdered him right back. Murdered _Erwin_.

This was where Erwin had walked him too, the first day they’d met when he’d helped Eren with his bags. Only now he was standing there, covered in the same man’s blood and ash, after killing him and burning him and cutting him to pieces.

Eren couldn’t fucking breathe.

He didn’t remember walking the steps up to his room or fumbling with the key in the door. In fact, Eren wouldn’t even realise how out of it he was until much later, but it was to the point that he didn’t even hear the loud grunts coming from inside his room until he was slamming open the door and rushing in.

“Fucking hell, Eren!”

Eren barely flinched as Jean screamed at him, his face bright red and fuming as he paused, still balls deep inside Marco, who was lying naked on his back under him. The both of them were staring at him with wide eyes, and Eren saw the exact moment when they registered the state he was in. Because while he might’ve been able to go unnoticed outside in the dead of night, having blood smeared over his shirt and arms was hard to miss when in a fully lit room.

“Oh my god, what happened?” Marco gasped as Jean yelled out “Holy shit are you okay?!” at the same time.

He needed to get to the shower, needed to wipe the blood (_fucking_ Erwin’s blood!) off himself. So he just tore past the couple, mumbling something about how he’d “got in a fight with Levi,” as an excuse as Jean pulled out of Marco.

Before his roommate could reach for him, Eren slammed the bathroom door in his face, before racing for the shower. Shaking hands fumbled at the tap, and then scalding water was washing over his body, drenching him with a searing hot pain that burned so fucking good.

It wasn’t until the shower water begun to run red and black that Eren realised he was crying. And then he was sobbing, hysterically gasping as he ran his hands over and over, trying to get the stains off himself. Murky water dripped down his arms, never getting any cleaner despite how much he rubbed and rubbed, and since when had there been this much blood on him and fucking hell, it was _Erwin_.

Eren didn’t know when he’d crumpled to the floor of the shower, but all of a sudden he was curled into a ball, weeping and screaming because he’d fucking done it again. He’d lost control and killed someone.

And not just anyone. Someone who he’d been pretty sure he was in love with.

It felt like hours had passed, but judging by the way he’d been screaming, it was probably only seconds or minutes before Jean came bursting into the bathroom. He was dressed by now, if only in his underwear, and before Eren could even look up Jean was hopping into the shower with him, sitting down beside him only to wrap himself around Eren.

He was saying something, Eren could see his mouth moving, but Eren’s ears were ringing so fucking bad and he was getting Jean wet with Erwin’s blood and he couldn’t fucking breath anymore-

Jean pressed Eren’s face into his shoulder, which was how he stayed for a good long while, crying and snotting all over the man’s skin. A dull thrum echoed in his right ear, always present and never leaving, and it wasn’t until later that Eren would be able to distinguish the words that Jean was murmuring to him, telling him that everything would be fine and that he was all right.

Except everything wasn’t fine. And he wasn’t all right.

He’d been a murderer since he was twelve years old. But now he could see that it wasn’t by circumstance. It was just _him_.

When Jean suddenly swore about how fucking cold it was, Eren finally realised that it had never been burning water cascading over them, but instead freezing cold. And then he was shivering, shaking against Jean who was only in his underwear under the icy spray. Jean, who instead of finally getting to sleep with the man he’d been in love with for weeks, was sitting with Eren and helping to clean blood off him. Whose teeth were chattering and fingers shaking from the cold, but was instead worrying about getting Eren’s wet clothes off him.

Eren fucking loved him.

Again, Eren wasn’t lucid enough to realise that Jean had stripped him completely naked until he was being wrapped in a towel. It felt so goddamn fluffy and warm, and for some reason Eren felt like he was in a cloud, which with what he’d done was something he didn’t deserve.

As Jean dried him down, they remained silent, both of their teeth chattering and Jean’s lips looking just the wrong tint of blue. A second later, Jean was leaving the bathroom, before returning with clothes for both of them. He helped Eren to dress, before changing himself, and then he was helping Eren to the bed.

“Did you take something?” He asked eventually, once Eren was sitting on the mattress.

Eren just shook his head, before looking around. “Where’s Marco?”

“He went home. I told him I’d get you to bed and then call him tomorrow.”

And shit, now Eren felt even worse. He knew in comparison, it was a small matter to what he’d been through with Levi and Armin and Mikasa, but he still felt bad. Because Jean and Marco had been so long in the making, and obviously the push Eren had given Marco had worked, but he’d still ruined something good once again.

“You need to pick up your phone,” he said after a while. “S-stuff’s happened tonight.”

He tried to tell Jean about Reiner, only to choke up and fuck, he was crying again. Seeing the state he was in, Jean wrapped Eren in another tight hug.

“Whatever’s going on, I’m here, okay? I’m fucking there for you, Yeager.”

And that just made Eren cry harder, even if it was now for a slightly better reason. Because even if so much bad shit had come out of coming to Trost, Jean Kirschtein was someone he could never regret meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, that's a wrap for the big murder night. Some big reveals in this one, like how Bertholdt's gonna be in on this all, even if it's under the wrong facade. Again, if there was any glaring errors, let me know in the comments. If people are still confused, I might make a super compilation of aaaallll the flash-forwards and the bits from this chapter, and link it or something. I dunno.
> 
> Again, I'm in the process for writing the sequel to this, so any feedback on what did/didn't work would be amazing. I'm also happy to take any suggestions for smut pairings for the sequel as well, although I'll only be able to include them if they fit the flow of the story I have planned. Either way, I look forward to seeing what everyone has to say, so comments never fail to make my day.
> 
> Until next week. Stay safe everyone!


	19. The Ones That Were Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you even feel bad?” When Levi glanced up from his own coffee, Eren smirked. “When you released the pictures and ruined my life.”
> 
> “Did you feel bad when you made me an accomplice to murder?”
> 
> How was it that Levi always seemed to know how Eren thought?
> 
> “Yeah, I’m real broken up about saving your life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! First of all, I wanna say that I've been absolutely blown away by the feedback over the last 2 weeks of the reveal happening. After all the build-up, I was a little worried that I wouldn't stick the landing, but it's made me so happy to see that people are not only satisfied with the reveal, but that it also (seemingly) makes sense!
> 
> Now that the murder has taken place and the GSA fundraiser is over, we're in the home stretch towards the ending of this fic. Although I've already said that I'm writing a sequel, so I guess that cat's out of the bag. That being said, I want to give this fic a concrete ending, and I still have a twist or two left up my sleeve.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Now.**

“As I’m sure you’re aware, Mr. Yeager, this is quite a serious matter.”

From his seat, Eren did his best to stay focused on the current events, on looking like he was actually listening to what was going on around him. After all, for any other college student, being sat in front of the university board at an academic disciplinary hearing would be a major deal. Several pairs of eyes were trained on him, analysing him and watching for what he’d say or do in response to the questions being asked. It would be enough to make any normal person shit bricks.

Eren couldn’t really give a shit, though.

His ribs also still really fucking hurt.

From the other side of the large conference desk, Fritz (Eren had honestly forgotten his first name, he was so out of it) continued to prattle away about university by-laws and code of conducts, as the other members of the board sat in silence and listened. Eren did his best to keep his eyes up, but after everything that had happened last night, he couldn’t bring it in himself to care.

In the end, everything had seemingly gone perfectly by the end of the night, with Armin, Mikasa and Levi burying Erwin’s remains across the nearly abandoned outskirts of the city. Mikasa and Armin had then spent the morning cleaning Connie’s van and switching the fake plates out before returning it to him, after which they’d both accompanied Eren to the university for his hearing. Despite neither of them having slept last night, they were waiting outside right now for him.

“… recognises that the blame doesn’t entirely fall on you, Mr. Yeager. But you are still a legal adult, and so I’m afraid there will be consequences, especially if the statement you submitted is true. Is there anything you’d wish to tell us, in that regard?”

Glancing up, Eren looked around the room at the various stodgy scholars, all of whom were staring at him in a mixture of poorly masked pity and disappointment. He knew what they thought of him. Even after the events of last night, Eren had kept his official statement the same as he’d intended, that he’d been the one to jump Erwin, to seduce him into starting a romantic relationship. It made him look like a crazy, desperate teenager, someone who wasn’t worth the time of day to these old, highly educated academics, some of whom likely held antiquated and homophobic views.

But it was necessary, especially when Erwin would be officially declared as missing. There was no getting out of the fact that Eren would be linked to the investigation. How could he not, after everything that had happened? In some way or form, fingers would be pointed his way, there was no escaping the fact. He just had to make sure that he wasn’t thought of as a scorned lover, someone who would have reason to lash out at Erwin.

So, he plastered sad smile on his face, trying his best to appear as genuinely pathetic as possible. “It’s all true. I know what you’re all thinking, but it’s not just some fling. We’re in love, okay?”

He kept it as short and sweet as he could, not wanting to overplay his position. There were a few murmurs from some of the other board members, but Eren ignored them, already knowing the reason for their uneasiness.

Erwin’s hearing had been scheduled just before his, that day.

“When was the last time you saw Professor Smith?” one of the other board members asked a moment later, confirming Eren’s theory. They were trying to hide it, but he could see that they were curious as to if he knew any reason Erwin wouldn’t have turned up.

He could also tell that they were aware of some of the public actions Erwin had made last night. Probably the disorderly conduct and altercations with campus security, if Eren had to guess.

“Um, Thursday night,” he replied, thinking back to the events of that night. “I was out with some friends at a bar. Erwin was there, and we talked a bit. He said-”

Eren cut himself off on purpose, before looking down at the ground.

“Yes?” Fritz pressed, after a beat of silence.

“It’s nothing,” Eren replied, tripping over his words a little and forcing a small, dazed smile on his face.

He could feel more eyes on him, analysing him. And then Fritz was continuing. “Mr. Yeag… Eren. Anything you tell us will only help your case here today. Professor Smith’s as well. The more you tell us, the more we can help you both.”

Deciding to commit to what he’d planned to say, Eren looked back up. “He said he loved me. I know it’s against the rules, but it’s real for us, he’s not manipulating me or something. Just please, don’t punish him for this. I’m the one who instigated everything. I- I’d never forgive myself if he got in trouble for something I began.”

By the time he was done, Eren had almost convinced himself that it was all true.

But he could see in Fritz’s eyes, as well as the rest of the board, that it wasn’t the answer they’d been looking for.

“Thank you for letting us know, Mr. Yeager. Now, if we could continue with some further questions…”

***

“How’d it go?” Armin asked, the moment Eren reached them in the waiting area. He and Mikasa had already stood up from where they’d been sitting, clearly on edge despite their obvious tiredness.

“As well it could’ve gone, I guess?” Eren replied, because even he wasn’t too sure. He’d done everything he could to play up the naïve part of him for the board, but after the previous night’s events, he couldn’t be sure. “They’ll have a ruling by this time next week, so I guess we’ll find out then.”

“It will work out. It has to,” Mikasa said, but even she didn’t look convinced.

He could also tell that the both of them were worried, if the way they were looking at him was anything to go by. After his meltdown last night, he knew that Jean had probably spoken to Mikasa. And since she knew what had _really_ happened to him, the fact that he’d ended up in a crying ball likely didn’t sit well with her.

Grunting a little in pain, he hunched over slightly.

“You should really get those checked out,” Armin said worriedly, gesturing at the ribs Eren was rubbing.

“It’ll be fine. Besides, I’m a doctor’s son. I can manage some bruised ribs for a few days.”

Eren didn’t need to say that it would just be another thing that would look suspicious, if he turned up at the hospital the day after Erwin had disappeared. Not when he’d apparently been off fucking Levi all night, according to their alibi.

Neither Mikasa nor Armin looked happy about it, but they knew he was right. But as they got ready to leave the building, a voice spoke up behind them.

“Excuse me, Mr. Yeager. Might I have a word?”

The man standing behind them was around Eren’s height, but much older, likely in his fifties. All in all, he was relatively unassuming, looking slightly overweight and dressed in Harris Tweed. But Eren knew exactly who he was right away, even if he’d never met him before.

Glancing at his friends, he could see that Mikasa had recognised him as well. Armin hadn’t, as was expected, but Eren could tell he’d picked up on both Eren and Mikasa’s hesitation.

Realising he was just standing there in silence, Eren plastered a smile on his face. “Wait for me outside?” he asked Mikasa and Armin. “I’ll only be a minute.”

Mikasa didn’t look happy, but after a second she nodded reluctantly. As she and Armin moved to leave, Eren turned back to the man in front of him, who was smiling kindly. The waiting room was deserted apart from them, and Eren could tell that the man had no intention of moving anywhere else.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet with you, Mr. Yeager,” Rod Reiss said eventually. “Although I wish it were under better circumstances.”

He really shouldn’t have been surprised. Whether Erwin had told him about Eren or not, there was no way Reiss would not have known who Eren was, after the last two weeks of his face being the talk of the university. Not to mention, Historia had been out looking for him last night _after_ talking to her father, so there was a chance that Reiss had mentioned something about him to her.

“Um, good morning, sir,” Eren replied, not really sure how to address him. “I, uh… I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m sure you have, young man. I’m sure you have,” Reiss smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You’ll have to forgive me for getting straight to the point, but have you seen Professor Smith at all lately? I’m afraid he didn’t make it to his hearing this morning.”

Eren had expected this, but he still couldn’t help but stiffen slightly. Reiss was clearly coming to him off the books, likely more as a friend of Erwin’s than in his official role as the Dean of Trost University. In fact, Eren had been a little surprised to not find Reiss in his own hearing that morning, although now he could only assume that he’d had been trying to track down Erwin instead.

Feigning ignorance, Eren blinked. “No… what do you mean, he didn’t show up?”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing, my boy,” Reiss said quickly, although he didn’t look happy. “As I’m sure you know, these last few weeks have been… taxing for us all. I was just hoping that you might’ve spoken to him last night. I’m afraid Erwin’s gotten himself in a spot of trouble, it seems.”

Oh, Eren knew entirely how much, more than even Reiss did. But he shook his head again, before adding, “I was hoping to see him today. Has he, uh, mentioned me, at all?”

When Reiss’ gaze hardened momentarily, Eren could tell right then and there that the man didn’t care about him, or think his ‘love’ for Erwin was real. But as quick as it had appeared it was gone, the corners of Reiss’ eyes crinkling as he smiled kindly.

“I’m afraid he’s had quite a bit on his mind lately, Mr. Yeager. But I’m sure he’s thinking of you. When I see him next, I’ll pass on your best wishes.”

It was a dismissal if Eren had ever heard one, but Reiss wasn’t done.

“One more thing, my boy,” he continued, almost dripping condescension. “I’m hoping that you’ll remember all that the university has done for you. Both Erwin and my daughter speak very highly of you, and I’m sure Erwin has mentioned me to you previously. You know that for whatever the reason, you can come to me, right?”

“O-of course, sir!” Eren stuttered. “Thank you for your help with this. I really appreciate it.”

It was unexpected, for Reiss to be offering him help. Because Eren didn’t really even know what that help was for. There was clearly something going on, between everything Erwin and Levi had said over the past few days. Something that involved Reiss, Kenny and god knows who else.

And for that reason, Reiss needed something from him. Eren just didn’t know what that was.

Before he could make an excuse to leave, Reiss was handing over a business card. “I would very much like to talk to you again in the future, Eren. I’m sure that after everything that has happened, you must be distressed with the current state of affairs.”

He paused, but before Eren could say anything, Reiss looked at his watch and sighed.

“I’m afraid I must be going. If you hear anything from Erwin, or simply would like to talk, please feel free get in touch with me again.” He placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder, in what was probably meant to be a comforting manner. “Remember, Eren, we here at the university only want the best for students such as yourself. If you hear of anything… unscrupulous, then please do not hesitate to come directly to me.”

With that, Reiss nodded politely and turned on his heel. But as he walked away, all Eren felt like was another chess piece, being moved around by a higher power.

***

Eren had had to all but force both Mikasa and Armin to go get some sleep after that, something which the two of them had been hesitant to do. Armin was meant to be staying with him, but Mikasa’s dorm had a free bed, due to her roommate, Mina, being away that week. Up until now, Armin had been sleeping on the floor of Eren and Jean’s dorm, but with Eren knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep during the day, he hadn’t wanted to keep him awake.

Neither of them had been happy about leaving him alone again, but Eren could tell that they were both exhausted, so eventually they’d both relented.

He knew Jean wouldn’t be at the dorm when he got back, so Eren paused on the ground floor to collect their mail. They didn’t usually get much, being students and all, so upon entering the lobby, Eren had been surprised to find a package in the mail locker that corresponded to his Jean’s dorm.

The package was small enough to fit in one hand and not that heavy either, but as Eren picked it up, a wave of nausea twisted inside him. Because after seeing it all over his marked assignments that year, and then again at the beach house, he could easily recognise Erwin’s handwriting.

Fuck, it was still too early for shit like this.

For a second, he wondered if he was going crazy, or jumping to conclusions when it could just be from someone else. But Eren’s name _was_ scrawled on the top of the package, and who else would be sending him stuff? Whether it was some grand romantic gesture or potentially an apology gift of some kind, Eren didn’t want any part of it. He couldn’t even look at the damn thing without feeling sick.

In the end, Eren ended up shoving the small box under his bed when he got back to the dorm, deciding to leave the decision of unwrapping it for a later day. But his heart was thumping now, the panic from last night threatening to bubble back over again. This was different to deceiving stodgy academics and the dean of the university. This _was_ Erwin, or at least was from him, clearly part of some greater plan that Erwin had put in place before last night in order to win Eren back. Part of what seemed like a whole other life now, one that Eren had stabbed to death with alongside Erwin himself.

Eren just made it to the toilet before he threw up.

As he winced at the acidic sting and wiped the back of his mouth, he tried his best to breathe deeply. He couldn’t fall apart again. Not when Mikasa and Armin and even Levi were all counting on him to keep it together. He just needed to breathe.

Dammit, he could do this. Erwin had killed Farlan and Isabel. He _was_ evil, right?

By the time he’d brushed his teeth, he was feeling slightly better. Fortunately, Jean hadn’t returned from wherever he was yet, so Eren used it as an opportunity to check out his injured ribs. Pulling his shirt up, they didn’t seem too bad, even if they were tender to touch. But Eren knew that the fact that they didn’t hurt any more when taking a deep breath meant that they likely weren’t broken, so he was able to find some good out of that at least.

Remembering a few of the skills his father had imparted on him growing up, Eren was in the process of wrapping a store-bought bandage around his chest when the door opened, and Jean entered. After hearing what had happened last night with Reiner, Eren knew that Jean and Marco had gone to see Hanji, so that they could apologise for their absence. They were all still waiting to hear from Bertholdt about when Reiner would be allowed visitors, but even so, Eren knew that both Jean and Marco had likely gotten chewed out by Hanji for missing the whole night.

And then Eren remembered that Jean didn’t know about his bruised ribs. Seeing the state he was in, Jean’s eyebrows rose.

“What happened to you?”

Shit. The sight alone, not to mention how Eren had returned the previous night covered in blood, required explaining. But he was flying by the seat of his pants right now, with no real time to plan, so he just smiled weakly.

“Uh, Levi,” Eren began, before elaborating at Jean’s confused expression. “Like I said, things didn’t end well between us. He shoved me against a wall, and I must’ve hit it harder than I thought.”

It was weak, Eren knew it. But if he was going to run with the story that he and Levi had gotten in a physical fight, then it was the best he had for now.

Jean didn’t look convinced, but still sighed. “Fuck, man. You’re more of a mess than I thought. Here, let me help you.”

They didn’t speak about last night, even while Jean finished wrapping Eren in bandages. By the time they were done, the silence was almost deafening to Eren. And for Jean too, evidently, given how he shuffled awkwardly on the spot.

“How did the hearing go?”

“Okay, I think. The university board is full of assholes, but that’s not really a surprise.”

Jean hummed in acknowledgement, and Eren finished putting his shirt back on and made his way over to his side of the room to clean up his belongings. After the hectic rush that had been that morning, his bed was still a mess of clothes and unmade blankets, so he set about tidying it up. It was only an excuse to not face Jean though, of course, and he could still feel the man’s eyes on him from behind.

After half a minute or so, Jean cleared his throat.

“Are we going to talk about last night?”

Closing his eyes, Eren held back a groan and kept cleaning. “About how you and Marco finally got together? Congrats, man.”

“Cut the crap, Yeager,” Jean sneered. “I thought we’d gotten past this level of bullshit. You don’t get to close up again after what happened last night.”

Eren supposed that was fair, even if he didn’t like it. Jean had seen him at his worst, completely unravelled and one step away from losing his sanity altogether. He’d been a complete mess, crying and screaming and trying to scrub blood off his arms. And Jean had stayed with him through the night, not saying a word about it while Eren cried himself to sleep. So yeah, Jean was probably owed an explanation, even if Eren couldn’t give him the real one.

“I already told you,” he said eventually as he turned around. “I went home with Levi last night. We were both drunk and I… wasn’t in a good place after everything with Erwin, you know that. It turned ugly, and then after the news about Reiner hit, I didn’t react well. Levi said some shit, and then I got mad and attacked him.”

Jean looked down, and Eren could see the remorse on his face. He knew Jean was still feeling guilty for not being contactable last night, when everyone had gone to the hospital to see Reiner. Jean and Marco had been fucking like bunnies the entire night, apparently, neither of them even thinking about their phones, all the while mayhem stormed on around them. It was kind of ironic, actually, that the two of them had actually played out the alibi Eren and Levi had gone for, in real time and without knowing.

He also hated that he had to use Reiner’s situation as a tactic to distract Jean, but it was necessary.

“So you actually fought Levi. Like, physically?” Jean asked after a beat.

“Yeah. Decked right in the nose, too. You should’ve seen it. Blood was spraying everywhere, that’s why it was all over my hands. And it’s what made him shove me into the wall, so I guess I got what I deserved.”

Despite the situation, Jean snickered softly, and whether or not he bought Eren’s story, they quickly changed topics. He told Eren the latest about Reiner, given that Hanji had been in touch the most with Bertholdt. Reiner had woken up by now, but still wasn’t allowed visitors quite yet. But Eren already knew that, because Bertholdt had texted him earlier that morning, mainly to say that Reiner had taken the news about Erwin as well as could be expected, and that they were in the clear, so far.

Eren would have to see for himself, of course, how Reiner had taken the news that he was apparently a killer. But for now, he’d just have to take Bertholdt’s word that everything was going smoothly.

“How did Sasha pull up?” Jean asked, a little later.

Eren winced. “Not great. Mikasa spent most of the night with her while she puked up her guts. You’d hope she’s learnt her lesson, but it’s Sasha, so you never know.”

Jean smiled at that, and any remaining tension eased.

Later that day, after Eren had attempted (unsuccessfully) to get some studying done before they’d played some video games, Jean turned to him.

“Are you okay, though? Now, I mean?”

Eren nodded, even if he wasn’t sure. “Yeah. And thanks again, dude. Um, for last night, I mean. I went a bit crazy after hearing about Reiner, so… yeah. Thanks.”

“Of course. And, uh…” Jean paused, before ducking his head. “Marco also told me what you did. For us, I mean. You didn’t have to, so, um, thanks. For that.”

At that, Eren couldn’t stop the smile from coming naturally to his face, and he leaned into the one-armed hug Jean offered to him. They went back to playing video games after that, and Eren did everything he could to cast Erwin and Levi from his mind, even if just for a little bit.

***

Reiner wasn’t allowed visitors until Sunday.

Once Eren had gotten the time to actually call Bertholdt, he’d been able to hear more about what had happened. Reiner had regained consciousness in the early hours of Saturday morning, almost anti-climatically, apparently. There’d been no outbursts, no screaming or kicking or trying to hurt himself, just quietness. It was fortunate, as it had given Berthold the time he’d needed to explain to Reiner the situation, and what had happened.

And even more unexpectedly, Eren had heard that Reiner had taken the news relatively well. Almost too well, for someone to learn that they’d apparently killed someone.

Over the call, Bertholdt had also asked Eren to come to the hospital earlier on the Sunday, before he’d told Reiner’s football friends and the rest of the GSA it was okay to come. It made sense, after all, they needed to iron out the details of what would come, and Reiner had apparently wanted to talk to him personally.

Given that he’d never met neither Reiner nor Bertholdt, Armin had elected to stay behind. There’d be no point in him coming, because if anything, it might just freak Reiner out even more.

Mikasa _had_ come, though, and after initially greeting Reiner alongside Eren, had stepped outside Reiner’s room alongside Bertholdt.

“We’ll go get some coffee and come back,” she said, closing the door behind her and Bertholdt, and leaving Eren alone with Reiner. They’d already decided that Mikasa would be the one to help coach Bertholdt through it all, given that at this rate, she was the more objective of the two of them.

Eren hadn’t known what to expect, coming back to the hospital. With only minimal injuries, Reiner had been moved out of the emergency ward, and was instead now in a different wing, under suicide watch. The room they were in didn’t even seem like a hospital room, with no medical equipment or anything that could be used for another purpose. There was just a small bed, almost comically soft and with as few sharp edges as possible, alongside a small, rounded table by the window.

Seeing him look around, Reiner spoke up from where he was sitting on the bed. “I have to eat all my meals with someone watching me. Can’t even take a shit by myself.”

Eren didn’t really know what to say to that. “How long are you here for?”

“Just until my mom flies in tomorrow,” Reiner replied quietly. “Dad’s not coming, but he, uh, he’s paying to have me admitted to a psychiatric facility. Mom wanted to take me back home with her, but I didn’t want to go, not without Bertl.”

He looked so small. Which was ridiculous to even think, Eren realised, because Reiner was as massive and hulking as ever. But dressed in the oversized (even for him) hospital regulation clothes (they’d let him take off the gown yesterday, Bertholdt had said), Reiner looked like a kid, sitting on the bed with his knees hugged close to his chest.

The silence lingered between them, and Eren swallowed. How could he even look Reiner in the eyes, after what he’d done to him. After he’d just ruined his life.

“He broke up with me, you know.”

At that, though, Eren did glance up, because he hadn’t known that. But he also couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t been expecting it. When Reiner didn’t say anything else, Eren got up and walked to the bed, before sitting down next to Reiner.

“I knew it was coming,” Reiner continued eventually, his voice cracking. “Bert… he wasn’t going to say anything until I was stable, but I could tell. Nearly chewed his head off, last night, trying to get him to admit it was over.”

“… I’m sorry,” Eren croaked, his voice coming out husky.

“Me too. But I fucked up too much, so much that I couldn’t even blame it on my condition, y’know? He said he’d always be there for me, through the recovery and all that shit, but it’s pretty clear I broke his heart.”

Reiner sniffed, and Eren couldn’t help but worry for him. It was evident that Bertholdt hadn’t been intending to end things with Reiner right away, but now that it’d been forced out of him, he worried about what that might do to Reiner. It was better to rip the Band-Aid off early, he knew, but even so Eren didn’t want it to tip him over the edge.

As if reading his mind, Reiner huffed, a pained smile crossing his face. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna try and off myself again.”

Eren flinched back at the blatant crudeness of Reiner’s words, before frowning. “I wasn’t… just, I dunno, man. I’m worried about you.”

The elephant in the room hung between them, a secret that couldn’t be mentioned, not with Reiner’s every move likely being monitored by cameras in case he flew off the handle.

“I’m sorry,” Reiner said after a second, biting his lip. “I, uh, know what you did. I don’t… you didn’t have to do it.”

They both knew what he was referring to, and also that he couldn’t say any more. So, Eren just forced a smile. “Yeah I did. I’m here for you, man. You’ll get through this, we’re all here to help you.”

It was a poorly concealed choice of words, even if it applied to both Reiner’s recovery, and the true element at play. Reiner blinked and looked at him with such vulnerability, all the while the guilt continued to eat away at Eren inside.

“Just take care of Bert, yeah? He needs someone too, through all of this. And as much as I hate to say it, I’m not strong enough to look after him.”

Somehow, he found Reiner’s hand with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze before replying, finally being able to truthfully say something that didn’t make him hate himself.

“Always.”

***

Later on, as members of the GSA and the football team began to steadily arrive, Bertholdt took him aside.

“How’re you doing?” Eren asked, as people filtered in and out of Reiner’s room.

Bertholdt sighed. “I’m fine, I think. But… I don’t know if it’s all really sunk in yet.”

He looked tired, but then again, Eren probably did too. There were bags under Bertholdt’s eyes, and he looked like he’d aged ten years in two days. Eren tried not to think about how he’d been the one to do that, to get Bertholdt involved in this fucked up lie that would destroy his life. Instead, he smiled weakly.

“We’ll do this together, Bertl. I’m here for you.”

“Thanks,” Bertholdt muttered. “Annie’s moving in with me, so that I won’t be alone. But it means a lot, really.”

Eren hadn’t known that, but he was pleased to hear it, nonetheless. Because Bertholdt couldn’t live in that apartment alone, not after everything that had happened in it. And if Reiner and Bertholdt were truly over for good (although despite everything, Eren refused to believe that that was the case), then Bertholdt needed more of a support network than just Eren and Mikasa.

“Reiner told me, by the way.”

Eren cocked his head to the side, confused.

“That you fucked him raw?”

Oh. That.

He’d honestly forgotten that that had happened, and that at one point, it’d been a legitimate worry for him. It was almost comical, that Eren had once spent his nights fretting about betraying Bertholdt’s trust and letting Reiner persuade him into fucking without a condom. It was still serious, of course, but compared to murder conspiracies and hiding dead bodies, Eren couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Oh… yeah,” he said dumbly, before his brain caught up with himself. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Bertholdt. It was a shitty thing to do, I shouldn’t have done-”

“I don’t really care,” Bertholdt interrupted, “not anymore.”

Which also made sense, to a degree. Because Bertholdt was in with them on this too, even if it was for the wrong reasons and under the pretence of a lie.

“Still,” Eren insisted, “I was meant to be your friend, and I was meant to be looking out for Reiner. It was probably just one of the many lies that sent him over the edge.”

Bertholdt was quiet for a few seconds, before Hanji and Moblit rounded the corner of the hallway. They greeted them briefly, before the two of them disappeared into Reiner’s room.

Once they were gone, Bertholdt spoke again.

“I’m not mad that you did it, Eren,” he said, even though Eren could see the pain in his eyes. “I can… I know what it’s like to get caught up in Reiner’s high periods. He’s a hard man to say no to. What gets me is that you didn’t tell me. We could’ve talked it out together, you know?”

Eren went to explain himself, only for the words to die on his tongue, because he had nothing. No explanation or excuse for why he’d lied.

“I’m sorry,” he eventually said, lamely looking at the ground.

The sadness didn’t leave Bertholdt eyes, even if he smiled softly a second later. “I can’t be mad at you, not after what you, Mikasa and Levi did for him. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”

Eren let Bertholdt draw him into a hug, the words ringing his ears. Because Reiner definitely didn’t deserve this. Neither of them did.

***

Erwin was officially declared missing on the Monday morning.

Eren didn’t bother going to his history lecture that morning. Hell, it probably wasn’t even going ahead, not that he’d been keeping track of his schoolwork at all recently. Either way, after seeing Reiner yesterday, he’d gone to the university administration’s office to drop out of the elective, despite how late in the semester it was. It would look shit on his academic record, but Eren didn’t have the willpower to finish out the semester, especially if Nile Dok would be the one taking over Erwin’s classes.

With his relationship with Erwin now being public knowledge, it didn’t take long for a police detective to track him down. Eren had played it off as coolly as he could, feigning both ignorance and distress at his lover being missing. The questions hadn’t taken long, and were mostly routine, but he also knew it that it was only the beginning.

That night, he’d googled the detective who’d spoken to him, only for that sinking feeling in his stomach to deepen. Dot Pixis was apparently a well-renowned detective in Trost, because even just after a preliminary search, Eren had been able to see that he was behind some of the biggest cases that had been solved over the last decade. He wondered briefly if Reiss had been responsible for Pixis being placed on this case, as clearly the Dean had enough sway in this city to make it happen.

But there was also no point worrying about, not when there was nothing he could do, and when there we more important matters to deal with. He was already dodging Nile at every opportunity, so what was one more person to add to that list?

But things were still getting out of hand, and Eren still didn’t know the extent of the machinations that were happening behind the scenes. So on the Tuesday morning, he ditched his chemistry lab as well and instead journeyed across Trost, knowing that Levi had no classes that day. Eren had been dreading this conversation for the past four days, having done everything in his power to stay away from Levi and not contact him. And given the radio silence on both ends, the feeling had clearly been reciprocated.

Still, a weary-looking Levi answered the door a few moments after he’d knocked, wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung sweatpants and holding a mug of steaming coffee in his hand.

He was also wearing his necklace, as usual. Although Eren could now see that two rings were strung around the thin piece of string. Because _of course_ Levi would go for Farlan’s ring in amongst the chaos, likely having grabbed it while cleaning the apartment or taking Bertholdt’s clothes.

“What do you want, Yeager,” Levi said as Eren let himself in, stepping around him and into the apartment.

Eren ignored him initially, walking into the centre of the apartment before turning around. Levi had closed the door behind him, and was staring at Eren in annoyance. He looked terrible, worse than Bertholdt had, actually, and it was clear that he hadn’t been sleeping. And all at once the guilt came rushing back, because despite the life that Levi lived, Eren had been the one to involve him in a murder.

Once again, his actions had resulted in yet another person’s life being destroyed.

“I want the truth,” he said eventually, trying to summon some of the anger he’d felt towards Levi back on the night of the fundraiser, only to come up short. “I want to know why you took the pictures of me and Erwin, and then leaked them.”

He’d meant to sound demanding, but in the moment, his words sounded more like a weak half-question. Levi cocked an eyebrow, before taking a sip of his coffee, still making no attempt to cover himself up, despite the fact that his sweatpants left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“Maybe I’m just obsessed with you. Maybe I couldn’t stand the thought of you with another man, and I had to ruin your secret tryst so that I could have you all to myself.”

And yeah, Eren didn’t believe that for a second. He shot Levi an unimpressed glare, still standing there with his arms crossed. Because despite the guilt he was feeling, Eren didn’t have the energy to deal with this guy’s shit now, not when he had so much drama in his life that he was practically buckling under the weight of it all.

But Levi was clearly in an accommodating mood that day, because after a beat, he put his coffee down and sighed. “There’s a war brewing in Trost. Rod Reiss has broken away from Kenny.”

***

“So you’re telling me,” Eren began, pausing while he took a sip of his own mug of freshly brewed coffee, “that my life got upended because your uncle threw a hissy fit when Reiss didn’t want to be friends with him anymore.”

From the other side of the table, Levi glowered at him.

“This is serious, Eren. Reiss and Kenny are two of the most dangerous and powerful men in Trost. This goes above you or me.”

It was almost domestic, how they were set up now. After initially revealing the growing tensions between Reiss and Kenny, Eren had demanded that he be given a coffee of his own before they discussed it further. Because frankly, he had a headache and it was still early in the morning and this was a lot to comprehend.

He had also gathered the weight of the situation. But to be honest, Eren just enjoyed pissing off Levi.

“Kenny still doesn’t know the reason why Reiss broke away,” Levi continued. “It’s been brewing for weeks, though. Reiss made it official the night you met Kenny, actually. And then a few days later, Frieda Reiss suddenly announces that she’s running for mayor.”

Eren remembered. He remembered sitting in front of Kenny at the club, squirming under the man’s gaze, only for him to be called away by his second in command moments later. He remembered the Frieda Reiss press conference the next week, with all of them crowded around the TV in the GSA room, congratulating Historia on her behalf.

“So what?” Eren replied. “The Reiss’ have decided that they wanna be the new number one power in town, and that Kenny’s gotta go or something? Isn’t he just an academic?”

At the last comment, Levi scowled. “Don’t estimate Rod Reiss, Eren. He may look unassuming, but that man has been in the inner circles of the Trost underground for nearly 20 years now. He’s built an empire of his own over that time, and while he might just seem like the dean of the university, he’s so much more than that.”

Eren thought back to when he’d met Reiss, because he just couldn’t picture it. Sure, Reiss’ kindness had been thinly veiled, and he’d been able to see the arrogance behind it. But what master crime lord fronted his business from inside a college?

“As for why he broke off from Kenny,” Levi continued, “I don’t know. But Kenny definitely wasn’t happy, and so he had dirt dug up on every one of Reiss’ closest associates. He wanted to weaken him by cutting out his support.”

“And you were the lucky bastard who got stuck with Erwin.”

The implication of what had been the result of that hung in the air between them, like a poorly kept secret. Eren leant back in his chair, frowning.

“So how come you were following him around before that night at the club, when Reiss officially broke away? The history conference where I kissed Erwin was before that.”

“Like I said, tensions had been brewing for weeks. Erwin was always close to Reiss, and Kenny had never gotten his hooks into him. He wanted me to see if there was anything we could use against him.”

Eren could already seeing what was coming next. “So that night at the club, when I met Kenny…”

“He already knew who you were. He was just playing with you.”

Letting that bit of information sink in, Eren swirled his coffee and watched Levi for any sort of emotion. When none arose, his face as blank as ever, Eren snorted.

“Did you even feel bad?” When Levi glanced up from his own coffee, Eren smirked. “When you released the pictures and ruined my life.”

“Did you feel bad when you made me an accomplice to murder?”

How was it that Levi always seemed to know how Eren thought?

“Yeah, I’m real broken up about saving your life. Sorry,” Eren sneered, using false bravado to hide how he truly felt.

Because no matter what anyone said, and no matter how bad Erwin had been, Eren had never _had_ to kill him. He’d been the one to pick up that knife, the one to escalate things to that level.

For a while, Levi held his gaze, before sighing. He looked so goddamn tired. “Despite what you might think, Eren, I don’t hate you.”

“Wow. Lucky me.”

“It was out of my control by that time,” Levi added. “There was nothing I could do to stop Kenny from having them released. Besides, I didn’t even realise it was you that was with Erwin in the first place, that night, until I got close enough to take the picture.”

“So you made up for it by being my friend when it all went to shit,” Eren said. “Damn, aren’t you just an everyday hero, huh?”

“You know what,” Levi sneered, his expression turning sour all of a sudden, “if you’re just going to bitch at me then why don’t you just leave. You asked for the truth, it’s not my fault your little feelings got hurt. I told you from the start that you didn’t want to get involved with me, and yet here you are. So either shut up or get the fuck out of my house.”

He didn’t raise his voice during the entire spiel, but by the end of it Eren could tell that Levi was angry. Well, Eren was angry too, but he was also just so fucking tired.

In the end, he chose to leave his coffee at the table, still steaming, before walking to the door. When he reached it, he turned back to Levi.

“Is what Erwin said true?” When Levi cocked his head in confusion, but didn’t drop his glare, Eren elaborated. “That you were in love with him. Farlan.”

At that, Levi did look away, dropping his head so that his dark hair hung over his forehead.

“No.”

***

**Before.**

“I’m just saying, you’d do well to appreciate me. My notes are the best!”

Across the table, Levi was rolling his eyes, albeit unable to keep the soft smile off his face. It was always like that with him, trying to appear cool and uninterested, when deep down they both knew he was a total softie. It was impossible for them not to know, after how long they’d known each other for.

Farlan snickered, watching as Isabel continued on her rant after Levi had brushed off her help with one of his classes. She’d done it the semester before as an elective, although Farlan couldn’t blame Levi for not wanting her help. Isabel had barely scraped through with a pass, having spent most of her time daydreaming or gossiping with Petra. So Farlan wasn’t surprised when Levi had brushed her off, although the guy could’ve been nicer about it.

But that was just Levi to a tee, wasn’t it?

“Like I’d want your notes. Your shit is a petri dish of germs.”

“Fine, jerk! I can’t believe I’m friends with you,” Isabel cried, even if she didn’t look too upset. A second later, her eyes were lighting up, the earlier squabble all but forgotten. “Speaking of which, why the hell did we come to a gay bar if you two aren’t gonna try and pull?!”

Ugh, not this again. Sometimes, Farlan was sure that Isabel was more invested in his sex life than he was himself. He didn’t do badly, all things considered, but casual hook-ups weren’t really his thing to begin with. And it was hard to think about starting something serious, not when they were thinking of leaving Trost soon, anyway.

“Isn’t our company enough tonight?” Farlan shot back.

“Not if I’m going to live my life vicariously through you two, no it isn’t! If we were just going to sit around and drink all night, we could’ve stayed at home. Or gone to a straight bar so _I_ could get some.”

“I don’t need to come to a bar like this to land a fuck,” Levi added quietly, taking a sip of his beer after.

It was true, even if they were regulars here, enough at least that they had their own running tab with the bartender. But part of why they’d all ended up with separate places was because Farlan and Isabel had gotten sick of listening to Levi bring home fling after fling. They’d managed with it while living on the streets, but now that they had actual money and resources, it was liberating to have their own apartments, even if they did spend most of their time together during the day.

At least Kenny Ackerman was good for something.

Even just thinking his name made Farlan’s skin crawl. The way Kenny had come into their lives all of a sudden was too convenient, and they all saw it. After miraculously ‘discovering’ he had a long-lost nephew, Kenny had been quick to give Levi, and by extension Farlan and Isabel, every they’d ever wanted. All of a sudden, they’d had a home, more money than they knew what to do with, and were enrolled at Trost University. It’d been every dream Farlan had had as a kid come true, even if now he longed for those days on the run, stealing what they could and dodging the law as they moved from town to town.

At first, Farlan had turned a blind eye to the conditions that had come with all that new money and power. He knew Levi did jobs for Kenny on the side and knew that he purposely kept Farlan and Isabel out of it. It was classic Levi, infuriatingly taking the whole world on his shoulders, when if he’d just talk to either of them, he’d see that they didn’t want him getting in over his head.

But it’d gone too far, now that they were a year in. Levi had gotten himself too deeply entrenched into Kenny’s business, too well entwined in the inner workings of the Trost underground. At the very least, Levi wasn’t fooled by Kenny’s attempts to make nice, and was just as aware that he was being used as Farlan and Isabel were. Still, Levi had insisted that they stay in Trost longer than they’d both wanted to, maintaining his stance that if they played things right, they could get away from Kenny with more than they already had.

It didn’t take long for Isabel to get into it with him that night, in the end.

“I don’t like it, Levi,” she was saying, her eyebrows drawn together in worry. “I mean, it’s one thing for him to have you making deliveries, but _dealing_? If you’re caught, that’s serious!”

“That why I won’t get caught,” Levi shot back, his voice lowered as he smirked wildly. “Besides, Kenny’s got people inside of the police force. No way I’d go down for it.”

“That’s not the point,” Farlan butted in. “Look, getting to go to college and having our own places is… amazing, but is it really worth it? Being a drug runner is different to just stealing shit, Levi. It’s not worth your life.”

Levi’s nostrils flared slightly, and Farlan could tell he’d hit a weak spot.

“I’m doing this for _us_,” Levi growled lowly. “It’s not forever, but I’m also sure and shit not going back to living on the streets. I’m close to getting Kenny to trust me, I know it. If I can just get access to some bigger jobs, then we can really make something of ourselves when we leave.”

“Then let us help you!”

But Levi was already shaking his head. “I’m not putting you in danger for this. It’s my uncle, so my burden to bear.”

All of a sudden, Isabel stood up from her chair, fuming. “You’re a selfish asshole, Levi. Try this again when you get your ass out of your head and see that the world doesn’t revolve around you!”

And before either of them could stop her, Isabel was stomping out of the bar, her half-finished drink left behind her.

Levi just stared down at his own drink, and despite his best efforts to mask it, Farlan could see the regret on his face.

“You should go after her, before she gets too far away,” Farlan said, a second later. “She’ll cool off, and you two can hash things out. I’ll pay up and see you guys later.”

Levi hesitated for a second, his gaze lingering on Farlan in way that he couldn't decipher. It was something foreign, longing. But then he was nodding in agreement. “Yeah, okay.”

“But for the record, I agree with her," Farlan said, ignoring the way Levi had been looking at him. "You’re playing with fire, Levi. The sooner we get away from here, the better.”

Instead of answering him, Levi changed topics. “You going to be okay getting home?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me. Now go.”

It wasn’t the resolution he’d been hoping for, but for now it was as good as it was going to get. As Levi left after Isabel, Farlan sighed, finishing the last of his drink before getting up. There was a bit of a line at the bar, but the guy working tonight knew him by face, so hopefully he’d be able to settle up quickly and get on his way.

As he stood up, the silver ring hanging around his neck swung forward, clinking hard against the empty glass. Luckily, it didn’t break, but it was enough to remind Farlan to get a smaller, tighter string for it.

Just as Farlan made to leave the table, a deep voice rang out on his left.

“Sorry, I can see you’re leaving, but I was hoping I could buy you a drink first?”

The man was older than him, a fair bit older if Farlan had to guess. But he was attractive, conventionally so, with a dreamy smile and blonde hair that was styled perfectly. He was in good shape, too, tall and bulky enough that Farlan could see the muscles of his arms through his suit. Wearing a suit to a bar in of itself was a bit odd, but he could only assume that the guy had likely just gotten off work.

“Um, sorry,” Farlan said, because this guy was hot as fuck. “I’m just heading to pay my tab.”

The man looked disappointed, but too his surprise, didn’t relent. “Surely one more drink couldn’t hurt first, then?”

He should say no. He should brush this guy off and get on his way. But to be honest, Farlan really didn’t want to deal with any more of Levi’s drama that night, not when he and Isabel had shit to work out. And the guy in front of him was exactly Farlan’s type, and probably way out of his league. Shit like this didn’t happen every day.

Fuck it.

So he smiled. “Um, okay. Why not.”

The man’s face lit up, a pleased smile crossing his rugged features. He gestured for Farlan to follow him, and as they walked over to his table the man continued.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name’s Erwin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this week. So... I'm doing flashbacks now XD
> 
> I'm not usually a big fan of flashbacks, but in the context of this I felt that it was necessary. I knew pretty early on that I would have to expose a bit more of the Erwin/Farlan relationship, because it's such a pivotal part of this story. And more information about them will be revealed over the last few chapters of this story, so that by the end hopefully the ultimate reveal of what happened to Farlan and Isabel will feel earned.
> 
> And also, about Reiner and Bert- I love them, honestly. I didn't want to break them up, but I also couldn't see a way to keep them together without Bert being a total doormat. He's a person too, and from his perspective, I believe this is what any reasonable person would do. But it's not the end for them either, if anything because I love writing them together too much!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos constantly make my day. Stay safe until next week, everyone!


	20. The Ones That Come Looking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe you actually got Levi to like you back.”
> 
> “Hey!” Eren crowed, as Connie and Marco snickered like the brats they were beside him. “Why is that such a hard thing to accept as the truth?”
> 
> From where he was cuddled against Marco, Jean snorted. “Maybe because Levi spent most of the semester trying to kick you away like a stray dog?”
> 
> “It was all part of my game and clearly, it worked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm back. First of all, thanks once again for the amazing responses after last chapter. The comments literally keep me going through the week, which given how crazy this year's been, it means a lot. And this chapter's a chunky one as well. I swear it didn't start out as a 10K chapter but... ah well.
> 
> Okay, TRIGGER WARNINGS: drugs again. If you've gotten this far, then you probably know how I write about these things (and Eren's approach to them), but I just wanted to put it in here to be safe.
> 
> Also, I wanted to add that there's going to be an appearance from a manga-only character (at the time of publication) who hasn't appeared in the anime yet. Of course, this fic is an AU, but if you're an anime-only and you don't want any spoilers at all, including character names, then maybe stay away for now. Once again, there's no really spoilers beyond the character's name and personality/relationships, so it shouldn't be a problem for most people.
> 
> That being said, enjoy!

**Now.**

When Eren got back to his dorm, he was dumbfounded to see who was waiting for him.

“Eren!”

He stood in the open doorway, stunned to silence, as his mother ran up to him and wrapped him in a tight hug. The force of it knocked him back slightly, but he recovered, slowly moving to hug her back as he looked over her shoulder.

His dad was also there, sitting on the edge of his bed and surrounded by Mikasa, Armin and a very uncomfortable looking Jean. Upon meeting his gaze, Armin winced in a silent apology, while Mikasa just frowned.

“Mom… Dad,” he stuttered, still a little stunned. “What are you guys doing here?”

When Carla Yeager pulled back from the embrace, her eyes were glassy with tears. “We came as soon as we heard the news. Oh honey, I’m so sorry that you’re wrapped up in this.”

“… What news?”

Oh. Oh fuck no.

“We received a call from a detective yesterday,” Grisha Yeager answered, his face as impassive as ever. “A man named Pixis. He wanted us to answer a few questions about you and your… recent activities.”

All at once, the mortifying nature of what his father was referring to set in, and Eren took a step back from his mother, eyes wide.

Carla, however, just smiled, before turning to the others. “Mikasa, would it be okay if you, Armin and Jean gave us the room for a little while?”

Jean was already up and moving, looking way too eager to be getting out of there and to be honest, Eren couldn’t blame him. Mikasa and Armin followed, albeit slower, both of them shooting Eren glances that were a mix of concerned and comforting.

Eren smiled back, letting them know it was okay even if on the inside he was dying from anxiety and mortification.

When the door closed behind him, he turned to face his parents.

“So…”

“Were you ever going to tell us, sweetie?”

The question came from his mother, and Eren’s heart broke a little at the open hurt in her eyes. He could tell that she was trying to be strong and stay upbeat, but after finding out that her son had hidden something so major from her, he could understand her pain.

He just wished he’d been able to come out to them on his own terms.

By the time he’d sat down on Jean’s bed opposite his parents, Eren’s hands were shaking.

“It was never… I mean,” he paused, tripping over his own words, “of course I was going to tell you guys. I could never just, you know, find the right time. And whenever I did, I couldn’t bring myself to say it.”

Taking a shaky breath, he continued. “Growing up back home, it’s different, y’know? I was never going to announce it to the world there, not when it would probably end up going badly. Being… gay is a part of me, but it’s not _all_ of me, if you know what I mean. So I just thought that coming out here to Trost would give me the confidence to be a bit more of myself. And it has, I don’t feel ashamed anymore.”

“Oh honey, you should never feel ashamed,” Carla murmured, “we’ve never cared whether you like girls or boys, we just wanted to be happy.”

Eren nodded along, getting choked up despite himself. “Th-thanks, Mom.”

But he couldn’t help but notice the elephant in the room, which was his father, who until now had stayed mostly silent.

Fighting the urge to leave it alone, Eren glanced his way. “Dad?” he croaked.

Grisha opened his mouth to respond, before hesitating for a second. “Eren… surely you must realise that I could never _not_ love you, right? No matter what, you’ll always be my son and I’ll never think worse of you for it. And I won’t lie, I’m still adjusting to the news, but that’s just because I had to hear it from a police detective, who didn’t even realise it was a secret.”

And just like that, Eren let go of the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, and he let a true smile spread across his face, feeling like himself in front of his dad for what felt like the first time in years. Carla was staring at her husband will poorly concealed pride, and the next thing he knew Eren was moving across the room to hug his father.

Like moments before, when Eren had been the one to be surprised, it was now Grisha’s turn to go stock still. However, after a beat he relaxed into Eren’s embrace and hesitantly returned the hug. It probably looked weird and stilted as hell, after all, Grisha Yeager was not known for his emotional responses, and Eren knew he himself was a pretty awkward guy at the best of times. But they continued to embrace, and a second later Carla was joining them, the three of them holding onto each other for another moment or so before separating.

“I’m sorry,” Eren mumbled eventually, his face still pressed into his father’s shoulder, “that I didn’t tell you sooner. And that you had to find out this way.”

“We know, sweetie,” Carla soothed, her hand rubbing over his back. “We love you so much.”

They stayed there for a while longer, and for a moment Eren thought that that was it. Only when he pulled away and went to sit back on Jean’s bed opposite them, Carla was frowning at him.

“Now,” she said and oh shit, Eren knew where this was going. “What we’re _not_ so thrilled about is to be contacted and told that our son was involved in a torrid affair with one of the university’s senior staff members, who is now missing. Would you care to explain yourself, young man?”

The switch was flicked just like that, and suddenly Eren was cowering under the intense glare of his mother.

“Um… yeah. That really does look bad, doesn’t it.”

“If this is about you struggling with your grades, son…” Grisha began, only for Eren to cut him off right there.

“What? No, Dad! Ew, gross! It was serious, okay? I loved him.”

The words dribbled out of him before he could stop himself, and suddenly Eren was thinking he might’ve been happier with his parents thinking he was whoring himself out for extra credit. Because Carla’s expression crumpled all over again, and his father’s eyes widened momentarily before he regained his composure.

“You… were in love?” His mom asked slowly.

Realising he couldn’t get out of this, Eren sighed and hung his head. “He was my history lecturer. I know it sounds naïve, but we bonded and, uh… one thing led to another. It _was_ real, but when the pictures got leaked, he had to break things off in order to save his career.”

“Oh Eren,” Carla murmured.

“He cared about me too, I know it. I don’t know how to explain it, really, but it was real for us. And… and now he’s gone and I don’t know what to think or what I should do.”

This time, it was his mom who crossed the room, coming to sit beside him on Jean’s bed and wrap an arm around him. Despite how childish it felt, Eren leant into the touch, resting against her.

“Mikasa told us you’ve been to an academic hearing,” his father said after a beat, straight to the facts as always. “She also told us that you’re telling them that you’ll accept full responsibility for your… relationship.”

He could tell that Grisha wasn’t impressed. His mother too, he assumed, but Eren held his ground. “I need to do the right thing. I’m an adult too, and I’m not going to let Erwin go down for something I pursued in the first place.”

More like, he had to maintain the image that he was a lovesick teenager, so that he seemed as unremarkable as possible to Pixis and anyone else that was looking for answers. Which clearly, he needed to do better to do a better job of that, if the result of Pixis’ house call was anything to go by.

At the very least, he had one thing going for him- thanks to the timing of the release of the pictures, it was clear that people had guessed that Erwin had ran. The gossip around the college campus was centred around the professor who’d been caught sleeping with a student and had then abandoned his life, and not something worse. Eren just had to hope that that notion extended to Pixis’ investigation as well, and that they’d done a good enough job of covering their tracks to not make him think otherwise.

“You’ve always followed your heart, Eren,” his mother was saying beside him. “But you need to think about yourself, as well. If this… Erwin has disappeared, then you have to acknowledge the very real possibility that he’s run away.”

When Eren glanced her way, she must’ve misread his surprise for denial, and she smiled sadly. “I’m not saying it’s what happened, but you have to admit the timing is suspicious.”

“If he’s left you here to deal with the consequences by yourself, then you need to think about your future, Eren,” his father added. “No medical course will take you with that blemish in your record.”

Oh, right. Eren was still meant to be keeping up his grades so that he could become a doctor one day, wasn’t he? Welp, it seemed that that ship had sailed, even if it was the last thing on his mind.

Eren just couldn’t see himself being a person of healing anymore, not after what he’d done.

“What would you want me to say?” Eren protested, knowing that he couldn’t bring those reasons up to his father. “That Erwin coerced me? That everything I said up until now was a lie, and that Erwin tricked me into thinking we were in love? H-he’s _gone_ and I don’t know if he’s okay!”

“No, of course we’re not saying that, honey, and don’t worry just now about becoming a doctor,” Carla quickly added, shooting Grisha a pointed look. A second later though, she sighed and frowned again. “Just… think about what you want your life to become. You don’t want this to follow you around forever, especially if Erwin _has_ left for good.”

The words were harsh, but there was some truth to them, even if Eren couldn’t admit it out loud. And looking between his parents, he had to admit that just maybe, they were right.

He needed to move on. The only question that remained was if that was still possible.

***

Later that week, after his parents had returned to Shiganshina, Eren surprised himself by actually attending one of his classes, even if he did spend most of it ignoring the countless eyes trained on the back of his head. After all, it was one thing to be recognised because you’d been caught in an affair with your professor, but for said professor to then go missing shortly afterwards? Eren was practically the most well-known face on campus.

It didn’t help that earlier that week, the GSA had announced the amount of money that they’d raised at the fundraiser, both over social media and in the university newsletter. What had made it notable, though, was the cover photos Hanji had chosen to add to the poster, the most central of which was the one of Eren and Levi kissing in front of the DJ. Admittedly, it was a good picture, with Eren smiling (falsely, to be fair) against Levi’s lips and Levi’s hands around his waist, with the strobe lights lighting up the background. Still, it was just another reminder of what had become the worst night of his life, and Eren’s stomach turned every time he saw the posters hung up around campus.

Of course, Hanji had cleared it with Eren before adding the photo, knowing that he might have hesitations.

“If you say no, I won’t add it,” she’d told him a few days ago. “I know you’ve had a rough time lately, and you might not want any more attention. It’s just such a _cute_ photo though!”

“What did Levi say?” Eren had asked.

“He was surprisingly okay with it. I don’t know what you did to him, Eren, but you’ve melted his icy heart. I can’t believe it!”

In truth, Eren knew Levi had only agreed for the same reason that he’d given Hanji the all-clear himself. That the picture would be another piece of evidence as to their whereabouts that night, which was officially the last time Erwin Smith had been spotted. Sure, it didn’t do wonders for the lovestruck act Eren was trying to play up for the university board, but in the end, it would do more harm than good. Because having him front and centre as the GSA poster boy mean that people would unconsciously associate him with that night, further strengthening his and Levi’s alibi.

“It _is_ a good picture,” Sasha had said that day over lunch, where they all were sat out on one of the many lawns on campus. “I can’t believe you actually got Levi to like you back.”

“Hey!” Eren crowed, as Connie and Marco snickered like the brats they were beside him. “Why is that such a hard thing to accept as the truth?”

It was good, getting to joke around with his friends after everything that’d happened. Even if there was the undercurrents of guilt and shame and horror, it did help to push everything that’d happened out of his mind, if only momentarily. So when his friends teased him, Eren made sure to plaster a smile on his face and respond, if only in the hope that eventually that fake cheer would morph into genuine happiness. He could tell that Mikasa and Armin needed it too, if the way that they were watching with soft smiles was anything to go by.

Armin still had another week in Trost with them, and was back to sleeping on the floor of Eren and Jean’s dorm. And in amongst all the chaos, Eren hadn’t missed that Armin was getting along well with all his friends. It made him happy, despite everything else that had gone on to lead them to where they were now.

From where he was cuddled against Marco, Jean snorted. “Maybe because Levi spent most of the semester trying to kick you away like a stray dog?”

“It was all part of my game and clearly, it worked.”

While it seemed like more of their typical banter, but Eren could tell that something was different now. Jean himself was different, almost like he was trying too hard to be normal. Over the last few days, Eren had felt the lingering gazes and caught the strained smiles he’d give him. But Eren was also a champion of ignoring problems, so he’d let it slide, preferring not to confront Jean about what was really going on.

Eventually, Sasha sighed and made to stand up. “I have a tute starting in five, so I better get going.”

And like that, the easy spell was broken, and one by one Eren’s friends began to mumble about their own commitments. Jean and Marco got up to follow Sasha, and when Mikasa made to leave as well, Eren grumbled.

“Why is everyone so boring?”

“Some of us actually _do_ like to attend our classes, you know.”

It seemed at least that Mikasa was back to normal, if at least on the surface. Although she’d always been hard to read, even for Eren. Still, he threw her a mock glare, before looking around at the rest of the group.

“Is _everyone_ ditching me?”

“I’m free,” Connie replied, now looking more than comfortable from where he was reclined back on the grass. “Them’s the perks of not having picked a major yet, I guess. So whatever you want to do, I’m game.”

Eren smiled at that, before turning to Armin, who he knew would be staying. “Wanna catch a movie or something? I’ve got the rest of the afternoon off.”

But Armin just looked down, smiling sheepishly. “Um, I have plans.”

“What do you mean, you have plans? You’re here to visit me and Mikasa. _We’re_ your plans.”

Seeing how baffled Eren was, Armin’s cheeks reddened. “… I’m meeting Annie for coffee.”

Oh… that sly motherfucker.

“Annie? _Our_ Annie?” Connie gasped, looking stunned.

Crowing like the little shit of a best friend he was, Eren grinned widely. “Oh my god, little Armin’s all grown up.” He turned to Mikasa, his eyes wide. “Did you know about this?”

Mikasa just smirked, letting him know that she absolutely _had_ known, before bidding farewell to them and following after Sasha, Jean and Marco.

Seeing that Armin was now as red as a tomato, Eren decided to ignore the fact that he’d been kept in the dark and instead smirked. “Guess someone’s been busy these last few days, huh? Screw me and Levi, how the hell did _you_ work that dark magic?”

“Eren!”

Eren just laughed harder, even if it _was_ a bit over the top. Because after everything that’d happened, he needed something light-hearted in his life to keep him going. If he focused on the bad any more than he already did, Eren would lose it altogether. Besides, Armin deserved happiness too, and although he didn’t know her all too well, Eren could tell that Annie was a good person.

After relentlessly teasing Armin for another few minutes, Eren shooed him off, throwing him his dorm key at the same guy.

“Go get pretty already! You’ve got a girl to woo. And tell me everything!” He added, as Armin left.

Turning back to Connie once Armin was gone, Eren grinned. “Always the quiet ones, huh?”

“Is that how you got Levi, then? Through being _quiet_?” Connie fired back.

Eren laughed again, this time even louder because fucking hell, he had needed this.

“Gotta admit though,” Connie was saying, “at times I thought Levi was a longer shot than Erwin.” Before Eren could say anything, Connie winced. “Sorry.”

Eren waved him off, even if he did sober up slightly. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, especially after what he did to you.”

Because Connie had also ended up being called in for an academic hearing of his own, albeit to give his events from the night of the fundraiser. The injury he’d suffered from Erwin hadn’t ended up being serious at all, but it was still technically classed as assault, and unlike Bertholdt’s concussion, it had been both unprovoked and witnessed publicly. Eren also knew that Pixis had been by to see Connie as well, clearly set on pursuing every available avenue of investigation.

“About that,” Connie said slowly, suddenly looking apprehensive as he glanced around them. “I know you dropped history, but… uh, Nile was hoping he could speak to you.”

“_Nile_?” Eren asked incredulously, “Since when are you guys on a first name basis?”

“Oh get off it, Eren. Like you have room to talk.”

“Well I don’t want to talk to him anyway,” Eren refused with a shake of his head, before looking around as well and noticing someone a little way off. “He’s a douche.”

“That’s not fair, Eren. He’s…”

But Connie’s voice drowned out into the background, because Eren had frozen, his eyes glued on the figure on the far edge of the lawn, who he could now see to be watching them. It was hard to tell at first, but the person was a woman, with short, blonde hair styled into bowel-cut. When Eren made eye contact with her, the woman tipped her head, before turning and beginning to walk away.

Fuck. How long had she been there, watching them?

“Gimme a sec, Con,” Eren said abruptly, interrupting Connie’s spiel about Nile. “I’ll be right back.”

He didn’t wait for a reply, leaving Connie squawking indignantly on the lawn as he got up and jogged over to the woman, who hadn’t looked back at him since.

As he approached, Eren slowed down.

“What do you want, Yelena?”

The woman stopped at his words, before slowly turning on the spot.

“Eren,” she greeted, though she didn’t smile. “It’s good to see you.”

“Cut the shit,” Eren sneered, “where is he?”

“Oh, I’m afraid you misunderstand,” Yelena said, “I was simply in the area, and after hearing about your recent news I thought it prudent to stop by.”

Eren crossed his arms, not buying her words for one second. “Uh huh. And what exactly _has_ brought you all the way to Trost?”

“Just work.”

God, even just hearing her voice made his skin crawl.

“I hope you’re not taking the fortnight’s events too harshly,” Yelena continued. “I imagine it must be quite… taxing.”

“You mean getting simultaneously outed to be sleeping with my professor and then for him to go missing? Yeah, I think ‘taxing’ is a pretty good word.”

Yelena just stared at him, as impassive as ever. Then, after a moment, she turned and once again began to walk away.

“Goodbye, Eren. Give Mikasa my best.”

This time, he didn’t follow and a few seconds later, Connie jogged up behind him. “Who was that?”

“No one,” Eren replied, watching her walk away.

***

As the deep bas music pounded in his ears, Eren followed Levi through the weaving bodies, none of whom paid him the slightest attention. It should’ve been refreshing not be recognised, but right now, his mind was elsewhere.

He’d been anticipating this meeting for days.

One week had passed since the GSA fundraiser, and the university semester was nearly over, with exams looming in the coming weeks. Eren was likely fucked for most of them, even if he had spent the last few days trying his best to knuckle down and study. But again, keeping his grades up had seemed lower in priority compared to what was coming tonight.

It was a little surreal, to be back here in the same club where he’d first met Kenny Ackerman, all those weeks ago. While much had changed since then, Eren didn’t feel very different himself.

Granted, he’d been a murder since he was twelve years old, so not much had changed in that regard.

When they reached their destination, the same private room in the far corner of the club as last time, Eren swallowed. He should’ve been expecting Kenny to want to meet again, after how he’d helped out with cleaning Reiner and Bertholdt’s apartment. Of course, the action had been anything but a favour, and Eren knew that Levi was probably going to be asked for something in return. But for Kenny to ask to see Eren personally? That just made every hackle on his body rise and shivers run down his spine.

Kenny was already waiting for them inside the private room, dressed once again in a suit and with his hair slicked back. By his side was the same blonde woman Eren had seen last time, the déjà vu becoming even more apparent as Kenny grinned widely at him.

“There he is! There’s my favourite little psychopath!”

Eren winced at the words, and looked around in case anyone might’ve heard, only to see that the curtain had already been drawn closed behind him. With just the four of them in the room, Levi went straight to sit down, while Eren remained standing, his heart pounding.

However, Kenny’s eyes turned to Levi, and he frowned.

“Oi, Levi,” he crowed. “Why don’t you beat it, for a bit?”

Levi paused, looking confused. “I don’t-”

“I wanna chat to my man Eren here. Go… I dunno, find yourself a nice broad for the night or something.” Kenny snickered, before holding his hands up in surrender when Levi’s gaze turned angry. “Or a fella, I ain’t judging!”

“Fuck off, I’m not some delivery boy, Kenny.”

Kenny just leant back in his chair, suddenly deadly serious. “And yet here you are, delivering Eren to me. Now _scram_.”

Eren didn’t say a word, still standing in the doorway as he watched the exchange. Levi looked both furious and chastised, but after a second, stood back up. It was just another reminder that no matter how much Levi insisted that Kenny didn’t own him, it wasn’t the truth.

He didn’t glance Eren’s way as he brushed past him, shouldering him roughly on the way out.

Once Levi had left, Kenny turned his gaze on Eren. “Come sit down, kid. _Mi casa su casa_, and all that crap.”

Knowing he really didn’t have a choice, Eren did as instructed, taking the seat that Levi had been about to sit in. As he sat down, he shuffled self-consciously. The blonde woman standing to the side of the room narrowed her eyes, and Eren ducked his head.

“Wait, you’ve met Caven before, right?” Kenny asked, but didn’t wait for a reply. “She helps keep the business in check. If you ever need anything, come to her.”

When Kenny continued to prattle away about nothing in particular, as if off in his own world, Eren swallowed nervously. After a while, the other man finally paused, and Eren steeled himself.

“Um, sorry. What am I here for again?”

Kenny stared at him, before snorting slightly. “I thought that was obvious, kid. I wanted to thank you for doing away with ol’ Erwin the other night. I ain’t gonna lie to ya, he was starting to become a real pain in the keister.”

Oh. Out of all the things Eren had been expecting, to be thanked for _murdering_ someone hadn’t been high on the list. But he also knew better than to think that it was the only reason Kenny had called him there. Not when Levi himself hadn’t been able to get away without owing him.

“And I’m sure by now you’ve heard about my little Rod-shaped problem,” Kenny continued, not even looking at Eren. “Erwin and Reiss’ bitch of a daughter were the two guys that convinced him to leave me hanging, so I ain’t sorry to see him go.”

“He killed Farlan and Isabel,” Eren said after a second, more to himself as justification, just like he’d been doing all week.

Kenny frowned at that. “Yeah, Levi told me about that little titbit of information. Shame, really. I always liked those two.” He chuckled, though, undermining the sentiment as he turned to Caven. “Oi, why can’t we get more people like him, who actually get shit done?”

Caven didn’t bother replying, just looking bored instead.

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Kenny grumbled, before glancing back Eren’s way. “Gotta say, kid, I didn’t expect this from you when you popped up. Seems like Erwin bit off more than he could chew, huh, if you know what I mean?”

He laughed again, loud and open.

Eren just swallowed, looking down. Even now, after a week of trying to convince himself that Erwin was the monster everyone said him to be, and all the evidence that pointed his way, he still felt sick when he thought about it. But even if Erwin _was_ just as bad as those men who had killed Mikasa’s parents and tried to sell her off, Eren had had time to get close to him, to love him.

No matter what, this was different.

It was also apparent that Kenny didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that Eren knew that he’d had the pictures leaked. In the grand scheme of things, it was relatively minor, but the fact that Kenny just brushed it to the side like it was nothing showed what he really thought of it, of Eren.

And Eren wasn’t stupid enough to bring it up.

“So I gotta ask, kid,” Kenny was saying, “in between all the fun times you two were clearly having, did Erwin ever mention any of this shit to you?”

“Um, no,” Eren answered honestly, because apart from his friendship with Reiss, Erwin hadn’t brought any of it up.

“Uh huh. So you don’t know where the fucker ran off to when everything went south with the pictures?”

Once again, Kenny showed that he clearly didn’t care that _he_ was the one to cause the pictures to be leaked. And once again, Eren shook his head. He didn’t really know why Kenny was asking about that time, not when surely he knew more than Eren did.

“I don’t know, sorry,” Eren replied, trying not to look too out of his depth.

The silence festered between them for a few uncomfortable seconds, before Kenny smirked again.

“Either way, I’m guessing old man Reiss has already been by to see you since you went all stabby stabby?”

At that, Eren _did_ flinch, because Kenny had called it in one.

“I thought as much,” Kenny drawled, before his smile disappeared. “Look, kid. I like you, so I ain’t gonna beat around the bush any longer. You got a choice to make. Rod or me. And as much as you may think Rod will look out for you, you still killed his closest ally.”

“So what, you’ll tell him what I did if I say no to you?” Eren said, stiffening in his seat.

“Psshhh.” Kenny brushed him off with a wave of his hand. “What kinda guy do you take me for, Eren? I ain’t no snitch, honest.”

Kenny mocked a Sign of the Cross over his chest, before snickering.

“But Rod will find out one day, I guarantee you that. Murphy’s law and shit like that. The only question is, am I gonna be around to protect you when that day comes.”

The words ran over him like a wave of ice, and even as Kenny leered at him from across the room, Eren could feel the weight of his gaze. Despite his superficially joking manner, the man clearly did everything intentionally, and even now Eren was aware that every move he made was being assessed. Next to Kenny, Caven made less of an attempt to hide her analysis. She still hadn’t said a word to him, but he could feel the power ooze off of her, even as she just stood there.

Eventually, Eren gathered his nerves. “And if I don’t want your protection?”

“Heh,” Kenny scoffed, his smile curving wider. “You got balls, kid. You remind me of myself, actually. Maybe not quite as dashing, but you got my snark for sure. That was always the problem with ol’ Levi. I like him well enough, but _oh my_ _god_ is he dull.”

Eren stayed silent, knowing better than to interrupt. A moment later, Kenny got to the point.

“I ain’t gonna chase you, kid. I like ya well enough, but you ain’t nothing special. That being said, I don’t make no empty promises neither. I had a little chat with my good friend Fritz today. I believe you know him.”

Feeling both pairs of eyes on him, Eren nodded hesitantly. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, but he didn’t want to jump the gun. The board’s review of his misconduct with Erwin was set to be released at the end of the weekend, in which he’d be made aware what the consequences of their affair would be.

“I’m _deeply_ sorry to say that Trost University is going to be finding one Erwin Smith accountable on all fronts, through no fault of your own, mind you. With him still playing hooky, the board is going to make his dismissal immediate, and there ain’t gonna be a single blemish on your record.”

“Oh. Thank you,” Eren said, even though he knew it hadn’t been a favour, no matter how much Kenny had made it seem.

Kenny winked at him. “Don’t thank me. Just think about my offer, kid. In time, we’ll see what we can do about your little detective problem.”

With the offer hanging between them, Caven suddenly stepped forward, holding a business card in her fingers.

“Mr. Ackerman will be expecting a response by the end of the week,” she said, her voice plan and devoid of all emotion.

“Now shoo, kid,” Kenny drawled. “Go make sure Levi ain’t dead in a ditch somewhere.”

***

Levi wasn’t dead. But he also wasn’t doing too flash either.

Eren found him on the dance floor, clearly coked up and off his head. It was almost funny, that Levi still didn’t show much emotion even when all drugged up, and as he saw Eren approach him, he visibly rolled his eyes.

“Look who finally made an appearance,” Levi yelled over the music, his hands moving to wrap around Eren and draw him close. It was clearly a result of him being high, and so Eren pushed him back.

“What’re you doing?”

“Oh, so now _you_ get to brush me off? That’s rich.”

Shaking his head, Eren leant into Levi’s ear so that he wouldn’t have to yell. “Is there somewhere we can go to talk?”

Levi didn’t look happy, but after a second grabbed Eren by the wrist and began to weave through the bodies. They eventually reached another private room and Levi nodded to one of the workers out the front, before they were let inside.

This room was empty, to Eren’s relief, because he needed to get this off his chest.

But as he finished drawing the curtains closed in order for some privacy, he turned around to see Levi hunched over the table, already racking up three more lines of cocaine.

“Really?”

Levi surprised him by laughing, bitter and nasty. “You already think I’m a piece of shit, why bother to change anything now?”

“So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? You’re just going to push everyone away until you’ve got no one left?”

“What do you want from me?!” Levi suddenly shouted, making Eren recoil in surprise. He’d gone from zero to one hundred in an instant, suddenly looking wild.

When Eren stayed frozen, Levi sneered. “My family is dead, Eren. _Dead_! I thought it would be better knowing the truth, but now it just fucking hurts even more. And now the man who killed them is dead too, and I don’t know how to move on!”

“Levi…” Eren began, but he wasn’t done.

“And _you_. You just stand there, with the same judgy expression, like I’m a piece of shit because I can’t deal with the fact that we’re murderers now. You _and_ your fucked-up friends, who take this all too easily like the bond of your _friendship_ will get you through this. Well I don’t have that! I have no one! So what the fuck do you want from me?!”

Levi finished off by all but screaming in Eren’s face, his eyes wild with anger and pupils hugely dilated from the coke. And Eren didn’t know what it was about the sight, but something just made Eren suddenly want to stop pretending, to stop trying to keep this wall up between them.

“I want you to tell me that he killed them.”

Levi visibly flinched, clearly not expecting that answer. “What?”

“Tell me that you still believe it was him,” Eren continued, his voice raising to match Levi’s. “That I didn’t just ki- that I did the right thing. That he was going to kill you like he killed your friends. T-tell me that I’m not a monster.”

The words hung between them, the only noise being the music from outside the booth. He didn’t know why Levi wasn’t replying, not when the man had been the most adamant voice against Erwin up until now. Why wasn’t he telling Eren that Erwin _was_ a killer? Why wasn’t he helping to ease the knot that had been twisting tighter inside him all we-

“It was him.”

Levi’s voice finally broke the silence, low again and raspy.

“Erwin killed Farlan and Isabel. He killed them, then covered it up for almost a year. And… fuck. You _know_ that it was either him or us. He’d already attacked both Connie and Bertholdt that night, and he almost killed me, Eren. You _saved_ me.”

It was a stark contrast to Levi’s scathing words just seconds earlier, showing that he hadn’t really meant them. It’d just been Levi desperate for something, some kind of meaningful connection. And the reassurance should’ve made Eren feel better, but for some reason all it did was make him feel worse.

“I’m just so fucking tired, Levi,” Eren said, his voice cracking. “I don’t want to- to feel this shit anymore.”

“Then don’t.”

***

Hours later, they crashed through the front door of Levi’s apartment, barely separating long enough to kick it shut behind them before they were on each other again. Eren’s brain was now too coked up to really think as well, and he’d lost count of the amount of lines he’d done ages ago. But the buzzing sensation was what he’d been seeking, the haze of not having to think and just _do_.

“M’gonna take you fucking rough,” Levi slurred, as they made it to his room, and he shoved Eren onto the bed face-first.

And Eren groaned eagerly into the mattress as Levi pushed him down, because he wanted, no, needed it. His breath was caught in his throat, unable to swallow it down as he groaned.

“Want it.” And fuck, he couldn’t even form proper sentences, that was how far gone he was at the moment. “Fucking rip me apart.”

The words rolled off his tongue, and Eren didn’t know whether it was the coke, the build-up of the last week or just the intensity of the situation that had made him utter such filth. Granted, it was probably a combination of all three, and Levi seemed to know that as he growled, roughly tugging Eren’s jeans over the curve of his ass and down his legs.

When Levi’s hand reached between his cheeks, he _snarled_.

“Fucking slut. You were wanting this.”

If he was referring to the fact that Eren was already partially stretched open, then yes. But Eren hadn’t been intending for this to happen. The escalation of the week’s events had left him equal parts drained and frustrated, until he’d ended up fingering himself in desperation earlier that day.

He hadn’t been expecting to take someone home that night. But he didn’t tell Levi that, instead just whining desperately and bucking back against him, all but begging to hear more disdain spewing from the other man. Besides, it probably would’ve happened sooner or later, so in that regard, he was better off prepared.

Minutes later, Levi’s fingers were practically pistoning in and out of him, and Eren flinched as Levi shoved them in too hard at one point. It was more pain then pleasure at this stage, given that Levi was just as sloppy as he was, and Eren loved every second of it. His whole world was swimming, his head still pressed into the mattress and teeth clamped onto the sheets. His eyes squeezed shut, light dipped in and out of the corners of his vision, spiking in time with the stimulation of Levi finger fucking him, treating him like he was nothing more than a whore off the street.

“I’m fucking you now.”

The words were direct, and Eren was fucking ready. He pushed his ass backward, arched his back as he whined. Fucking hell, it’d been too long.

The fingers slipped out of him easily, almost too easily, the wet slipping sound like music to Eren’s ears. Despite everything, Levi had the wherewithal to tear open a condom, and then more lube squelched before he was sliding in. It felt fucking good, almost too good, and if Eren was any more lucid he might’ve realised that it was slightly worrying how frantic he was for it. But the whole world was a blur, and Levi’s cock felt like a pillar shoving into him, splitting him open as he bottomed out.

Eren just arched his back even more, flexing himself so that his chest dipped as low to the mattress as possible, sticking his ass out because he knew Levi liked that. And sure enough, there was a smack against his right cheek, rewarding him for his show.

Eren didn’t wait for Levi, bucking his hips so that he fucked himself back and forth on his cock. He could hear Levi grunting and growling, and fed off of it as a fuel to keep his muscles going. And through everything, he could still hear the squelch of lube, feel the trickle of it down over his balls, because it was still all that fucking sloppy.

True to his words, Levi soon shoved Eren down into the mattress, and didn’t hesitate to pound into him.

Levi’s cock felt enormous in him, huge and thick and hot, even as it slipped and slid easily along, all wet, soft sounds as Levi fucked him. And really, Eren knew it was the drugs making it so much more _tangible_, but right now he didn’t fucking care. His cock was rock hard, ignored by both of them as it rubbed against his stomach with each thrust.

An arm had wrapped around his neck, holding him pressed against the muscled body taking him. Eren keened uselessly, simply wanting to keep feeling everything and nothing at the same time, for as long as possible. Levi growled, and it took a second for Eren to realised he was biting his ear, fucking hard, hard enough that Eren eventually flinched and jerked away. The other man didn’t seem to notice, and then Eren was shoved down even harder into the mattress, his whine muffled by the sheets.

He couldn’t see anything, only hearing the lewd smack of Levi’s body on his and the burning hot fire inside him. The fingers slinked in his hair held him down, and Eren eventually struggled, fighting to breathe as his face was pressed further down. He staggered and kicked, and a moment later Levi relented.

“Ah, fuck yeah,” Eren gurgled, sucking in a breath and seeing the wet spit stain he’d left below him on the sheet.

He was so sloppy, but he didn’t care because then Levi was pulling him closer against him, licking up the side of his cheek and kissing him from behind. Eren craned his head, messily returning the kiss as he arched his back and focused in on the feeling of Levi inside him. Everything was a buzz, and he did all he could to narrow his range of senses down on each small moment, but it was all to fucking much, pure ecstasy all around and why had he waited so long to be fucking used again?

When Levi pulled him back roughly by the shoulders, they smacked into each other forcefully by accident. Eren’s head spun from the collision, but Levi didn’t seem to care, and if it was a choice between stopping or brushing it off, Eren was all for continuing to get pounded. It sounded like something out of a porno, the way Levi’s hips slapped against his ass, making Eren mewl loudly. Fuck, he wanted to be claimed, to be devoured and brought down to his core.

Levi’s breaths were coming in harsh grunts, right behind Eren’s left ear. He could imagine the clenched teeth, furrowed eyebrows and half-lidded eyes, and wished he could see it. Whatever Levi wanted from him, he’d do it, even if it meant almost having his hair ripped out because Levi was pulling on him so strongly.

“Le-vi,” he grunted, not caring if he sounded pathetic, “fuck me, oh shit just pound me like that…”

Eren didn’t think about the words that tumbled out of his mouth, but just let them come. He kept chanting, not really saying anything except broken English that didn’t make sense, but his pleas seemed to spur Levi on further. The man was literally fucking him silly, and Eren could feel himself slipping into something else entirely. Stars danced across his vision, a numb blaze of pleasure cascading throughout him, but burning white hot from where Levi pulled his hair and fucked into him.

At some point, Eren had gotten a hand down to wrap around his own cock, jacking himself off furiously while Levi jackhammered into him from behind. With how pent up he’d been for the last week, it didn’t take much longer before Eren was cumming all over the sheets, moaning loudly as he felt the tension seep out of him.

Levi continued to pound away for another minute or so, until Eren had gone limp from exhaustion in his arms. Eventually, he felt Levi pull out, and there was the sound of muffled grunts before wetness was spraying all over his lower back and ass. If Eren had been lucid, it probably would’ve turned him on even more, but right now he was too fucked out to do much more than mumble something unintelligible.

It was the furthest thing from romantic, but it was what they’d both needed. And Eren didn’t bother moving, feeling Levi’s cum dripping down either side of his body and between the cheeks of his ass.

Distantly, he noted that Levi had left the room, but beyond that Eren didn’t really process all that much until there was the flush of the toilet some minutes later. When Levi _did_ return, Eren could at least form words, so he rolled groggily onto his side as Levi slumped onto the bed beside him. He was still naked as well, pale skin like a ghost that stood out in stark contrast to the dark surroundings.

“You’re lucky to have them, you know. Your friends.”

Eren didn’t know how much time had passed when Levi finally spoke, although he could feel the cum now drying on his skin.

He managed to look up in question, only to see Levi staring down at the two rings he was holding on to. And come to think of it, Levi _hadn’t_ been wearing them that night, clearly only just having gone to retrieve them.

When Eren stayed silent, Levi sighed. “I miss them. I miss them every fucking day. And every time I see you, I just get so mad, because I’m alone and you have _everything_ I want.”

“You’re not alone,” Eren managed, tripping over his words slightly and still feeling the buzz of the cocaine. “You have me. Isn’t that enough, for now?”

He reached out to place a hand on Levi’s thigh, but the man barely seemed to notice.

“I don’t know,” he said eventually, not taking his eyes off the two rings.

***

Hours later, long after Eren had fallen asleep, Levi closed the bedroom door behind him.

It’d been a mistake, to let that happen. Levi had caved again, like he had all those nights ago at the very same club. But Eren had that kind of power over him, a level of control that Levi was frankly uncomfortable about. Ever since he’d first felt those eyes on him at that introductory GSA meeting, and then been the subject of that blinding, annoyingly adorable grin, Levi had been fighting a battle he was never going to win.

But it was over now. Tonight had complicated matters, but it’d also cemented the choice he’d been tossing up all week. Even just seeing Kenny earlier had made it clear that he was on the outs, even more so than he’d thought. Levi hadn’t bothered to ask Eren what Kenny had wanted with him, or what his response was going to be, because he already knew the answer to both.

He needed to do it now, while he still had the chance. While he was still _alive_.

It helped now that he knew the truth, that Farlan and Isabel were in fact dead. Deep down, Levi had always known that they were. But as much as he hated himself for it, he’d been holding onto the slim chance that they were out there, somewhere. Erwin had said that they’d left without him, that he’d been poison to them. And Levi knew that it’d been a lie to save himself in the moment, but even so, he would’ve been okay with that. It would be worth the pain and the betrayal of being cast aside, as long as they were still alive.

Fuck, he missed them both so much. Farlan’s kind but teasing smile. Isabel’s annoying sarcasm that he secretly loved.

Still not bothering to get dressed, Levi sat down on the living room sofa, reaching for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table. He lit one, before taking in a deep drag and sighing it out a few seconds later. He knew it was a filthy habit, but fuck it, he had nothing to live for anyway, so what did it matter?

As he stared at his phone, willing himself to pick it up, Levi couldn’t help but reflect on the night’s events. Because even if the sight of Eren Yeager made him sick with envy… damn was the kid amazing in bed.

But Eren was wrong. He wasn’t enough to keep Levi going.

Two cigarettes later, Levi willed himself to dial the number he’d been trying to force himself to call since the night Erwin had died. And despite the lateness of the hour, the call was answered on the fourth ring.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” Levi breathed. When the voice on the other end didn’t say a thing, he continued. “I thought about your offer. I… I’m ready.”

***

**Before.**

“Smile.”

Farlan blinked in surprise, barely having time to react and grin softly as the camera snapped the picture in front of him. From behind the lens, Erwin smiled, glancing at the screen before up at him.

“You’re stunning, my love.”

Just hearing his silky, deep voice croon out Farlan’s name had him blushing like a madman, even though he should’ve been more than used to it by now. One would think that after three months of dating, Farlan would be immune to Erwin’s charm, yet with every day they spent together, he only became more enraptured with the older man.

They were at Erwin’s beach house for the weekend, something which wasn’t a new occurrence. Farlan had come to feel at home in the place, and it was almost domestic how he and Erwin spent their time there, doing mundane things any other couple would do.

Almost mundane, at least. It was hard to feel like any other couple when you wore a leather collar around your neck and were constantly being fucked senseless.

But they weren’t fucking now, and Farlan actually hadn’t touched the collar all day. They were reclined on Erwin’s sofa, a fresh bottle of red wine between them after they’d spent their day walking around the local town, enjoying that they could hold each other’s hands without fear of being caught. Because while Erwin wasn’t one of Farlan’s teachers, the fact that he still lectured at Trost University could lead to severe consequence if they were found out.

It was also why he hadn’t told Isabel or Levi.

Farlan had wanted to, but Erwin had requested that they wait a while. Enough time to make sure they were serious, in case word got out. It was disappointing, to be honest, but Farlan could also understand why. While he trusted Isabel and Levi with his life, to Erwin they were just another pair of college kids, and if Farlan told them, then Erwin’s secret would be out of his own control.

Farlan also knew that by coming away with Erwin so often, he was ignoring Isabel and Levi. They were his family, and he could see that they were worried about him. Not to mention getting pissed off with his constant need for secrecy. So with him not being able to tell them the truth, Farlan could feel the guilt seep in with each weekend trip he went on with Erwin.

But after all these years of running around after Levi, Farlan also figured that he was entitled to being a little selfish himself. He’d earned it.

Suddenly, there was a hand cupping his cheek, and then Erwin was leaning in to kiss him. It was quick and chaste, just a shallow peck on the lips before he withdrew. But it still left Farlan a little shell-shocked, his mind stopping short at just how much power Erwin had over him.

“W-what was that for?” he asked, hating how his voice skipped.

“What, I’m not allowed to kiss my boyfriend when I want to?”

Erwin smiled warmly, and Farlan couldn’t stop the blush from keeping up his cheeks. No matter how many times he called him his ‘boyfriend’ or ‘my love’, each time felt like the first all over again. Hell, it was half the reason Erwin called him pet names so often, because he clearly liked seeing Farlan squirm and blush. It was something he’d never experienced before, never having the time or lifestyle to settle down and think about the future.

For a while there, it’d seemed like he and Levi could’ve… no, he wasn’t going to think like that. Levi was his brother, and while at times there might’ve been a spark somewhere, Farlan didn’t want to jeopardise their friendship. Besides, Levi wasn’t boyfriend material, he knew that, and when Farlan fell in love, he did it hard and fast. It would only end up with him getting hurt.

Erwin was still smiling at him, but now there was something else in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Farlan asked, putting a hand on his thigh.

Erwin’s smile became a frown. “Are you still thinking of leaving Trost?”

Fuck. Farlan swallowed the lump in his throat, before looking down. That was a whole other barrier that they had to cross, and right now it was looking to be impenetrable. Because after a year of trying to get Levi to leave Trost with them, he’d only now begun to agree, right when Farlan had finally found a reason to stay. It was a cruel twist of fate, that suddenly he was trying to keep Isabel from making plans to move on, all the while trying to make it seem like he hadn’t changed his mind.

He couldn’t tell Erwin the real reason they’d wanted to leave, not without betraying Levi. He’d gotten in so deep with Kenny by now that to tell Erwin the truth about Kenny would be damning Levi just as much, and he couldn’t do that to him. It was selfish to want to stay, he knew that, and he hadn’t been able to think of a solution that solved both problems, but he couldn’t help himself.

“We’re looking at the end of the year, but nothing’s set in stone yet.”

He tried to reach for Erwin’s hand, but the other man was pulling back, before standing up to walk towards the open door to the balcony. Frowning, Farlan got up and followed him.

“I don’t want to go, not anymore,” he continued, as he arrived to stand beside Erwin, the two of them looking out at the waves crashing over the beach. “I want to stay here with you, and I want to tell them about you. They’re my family, and I know they’ll listen to me if we’re honest.”

Cautiously, he wrapped an arm around Erwin’s muscular body, and was pleased to see that the man didn’t pull away.

“Nile thinks we should tell them,” Farlan added, a few seconds later.

Erwin sighed, but couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “I’m not sure that I like the fact that you two talk behind my back so much.”

“He’s your best friend, of course I’m going to talk to him. Besides, I like him, and I want him to like me back,” Farlan insisted, before frowning. “If you gave my friends the same chance, I’m sure they’d like you too. Hell, Levi would probably try and shag you as well, for all I know. I’d have to get all protective and mark my territory.”

Erwin chuckled. “I’m sure we’ll see that one day, my love. But for now, I want to hold onto this moment as long as I can.”

***

**Now.**

Eren left the next morning, after what could only be called a stilted conversation with Levi.

He knew that the other man was struggling, especially after he’d poured his heart out to Eren last night. It was the most vulnerable Levi had ever been, more than the time he’d first told Eren about Farlan and Isabel, even more than the night Erwin had died. Eren had thought that they’d be in a better place this morning, he really had, but Levi had gone right back to his usual aloof comments and derisive sneers.

It was frustrating, so fucking frustrating. But Eren had meant what he’d said last night, that he would be there for Levi.

Neither of them had mentioned Kenny’s offer, either. Eren wasn’t sure how much Levi knew about it, but he’d still stayed silent on that part. Last night had been… a lot of things, and honestly, he needed to process where his head was at before he asked Levi about it. Eren would need to talk with both Mikasa and Armin first, to make sure they had all the information before he chose what to do.

Well, he’d talk to Mikasa and Armin, sure. But Eren was already pretty sure of what he was going to do.

“Wanna grab lunch on Monday?” he asked, pausing at the front door.

Eren had meant it to come out breezy and casual, but in the context of everything that’d happened, it didn’t work. Instead, he just seemed way to fucking obvious.

Levi sighed, leaning against the kitchen bench. “I’m not your boyfriend, Yeager.”

“Never said you were. But… I meant what I said,” Eren continued, trying to show Levi how sincere he was. “We’ll get through this together, okay?”

“… Sure, brat.”

The uber drive home was awkward, to say the least, with Eren’s sex hair all over the place and him wincing in pain as he’d gotten into the car. But the driver didn’t say anything, and for that, he was thankful.

It was mid-morning by the time he got back to his dorm, and so while he’d expected Jean to be awake, he hadn’t been anticipating the other man to be waiting _for_ him.

“Everything okay?” Eren asked, as he sensed Jean staring at him as he got changed.

When Jean didn’t say anything, Eren turned around, only to pause at the ashen expression at his face.

“Can you…” Jean began. “You know you can trust me with anything, right?”

Not sure what he was talking about, Eren nodded. “Of course, man. What’s up?”

Jean swallowed. “I’ve been trying to convince myself all week that I’m crazy. That it’s all just a coincidence, and that I’m reading too much into everything. But… you came home _screaming_ and covered in _blood_, Eren, the night he went missing. And although a lot of people think it, I’m not actually a moron.”

Oh. Eren had stopped mid-motion, a fresh shirt hanging in his hands as he’d been about to put it on. But getting dressed was forgotten now, not when there were other things that were universally more pressing.

“Jean…”

“Can you just… not lie to me, please? Just this once?” Jean croaked out, and Eren realised his eyes were wet. And then he noticed the bags under his eyes, and knew that this was the reason Jean had been so stiff with him over the week.

“I _don’t care_ anymore, Eren, whatever it is,” Jean continued. “But I can’t take the lying anymore. Please, just let me in. I’m with you on this for the long haul.”

The lie had already been forming on his lips, but it died a second later when he saw how _broken_ Jean looked. Jean had evidently been legitimately tearing himself apart all this time, and as usual, Eren had been too concerned with his own shit to even consider the people around him.

Mikasa and Armin would be furious with him. And if he was wrong about Jean, then this could be the end of everything, he realised.

But Eren also couldn’t lie, not this time.

Sighing, he slipped his shirt over his head and went to sit down in front of Jean.

“What do you know about the two students that went missing last year?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap for this week. There's actually only one chapter left to go, so I'm starting to wrap up plot threads while leaving new teases for the sequel. Lot's of development regarding Levi, some of which has been a loooong time coming. And big developments at the end with Jean too.
> 
> I also looove writing Kenny, I've decided.
> 
> Fun fact: despite finishing this fic weeks ago, I only wrote the scene with Eren and his parents earlier this week. I was editing the chapter and realised that it made no sense that Carla and Grisha wouldn't hear anything, and it helps to tie Eren's character arc up a bit as well. Hopefully it resonated well.
> 
> As always, comments and feedback make my day and I love to hear everyone's theories. See y'all next week for the last chapter!


	21. The Ones That Are Left to Pick Up the Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Hanji wrapped up her speech, Mikasa knocked shoulders against him.
> 
> “You okay?”
> 
> Glancing her way, Eren smiled. “Yeah, just thinking.”
> 
> “About how you need to cut your hair?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm back for the last time! It's a crazy thing to say, but this is it for this fic. I've got a few more details about the sequel I'm currently writing at the end of this, so for now just enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Trigger warnings: the usual (drugs, sex, murder), although this chapter is a little bit tamer until the very end!

**Before.**

As he entered the ground floor of Erwin’s apartment building, Farlan couldn’t help the little skip in his step. A person leaving the other way looked at him funny, but he couldn’t care, not when he was this happy.

He’d told Isabel.

Erwin had finally let him, after seven months of being together, and the result had been everything he could’ve hoped for. She’d smiled and laughed and even cried a little, when she’d seen how happy he was. In fact, Isabel had almost demanded that Farlan bring Erwin within him that night, but had relented at the last minute, given that it was Levi’s birthday today, and the midget probably wouldn’t have appreciated being blindsided.

Still, he’d planned to tell Levi that night, after they’d blown out the lone candle for his birthday, as was their tradition. Isabel was handling the cake right now and Farlan was on his way to meet them. He’d told Erwin that he wouldn’t be coming over that night, but had realised on his way to meet Levi that he’d left his ring there the previous day. Farlan had taken it off to shower, but had been distracted by Erwin kissing his way down his body afterward and had forgotten to put it back on.

It probably could’ve waited till the next day. But Farlan had time, and it felt right to wear it on Levi’s birthday, even if Levi himself thought that the rings were tacky.

He took the stairs two at a time, humming to himself. As he walked through the hallway of Erwin’s floor, Farlan reached for his wallet and pulled out his key. Erwin had given it to him a little over a month earlier, on what Farlan suspected was an attempt to persuade him to stay in Trost. It’d worked, in part, although now Farlan was mulling over the idea of asking Erwin to come with them.

Over the last few weeks, he’d been researching some of the universities in Orvud and had gradually been working up the courage to mention the teaching position that had recently opened up, in the history department of the university there.

Farlan was so wrapped up in his musings that he didn’t hear the noises coming from inside the apartment, not until he was already stepping through the door.

“Hey, I know I said I was busy tonight, but I just swung by to pick up-”

He froze mid-sentence as he looked up, not quite comprehending what he was seeing in front of him at first. There were two naked bodies on the sofa, and in his stupor it took Farlan far too long to recognise the one that mattered.

“Farlan,” Erwin muttered, his eyes wide.

Erwin was frozen mid-action, his muscled chest rising and falling raggedly with the blonde hairs covering it now damp with sweat. From the angle Farlan was watching from, he could see Erwin’s massive cock plunging right into the other man’s ass, who had only just now turned around, having tried to keep riding Erwin before he’d noticed the intrusion.

At his size, it was hard to mistake Reiner Braun, even if Farlan didn’t really know him all that well. He was one of the new freshmen who’d joined the GSA that year, a footballer who was so muscular that he made even Erwin look small. And right now, all Farlan could do was stand there and stare at his bulging muscles, the way his back was still tensing, and his ass was clenched around Erwin’s cock.

“What…” Farlan breathed, before it began to click what was going on.

In his daze, he barely registered Erwin shoving Reiner off of him, before standing up and walking over to him.

“Farlan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to- I mean, I didn’t know that you were coming by…”

“So you thought you’d fuck someone else?” Farlan finally found his voice, even if it came out as barely a croak. He didn’t even comprehend that his legs were shaking until he was suddenly reaching for the kitchen bench for support. As Erwin reached forward to steady him, Farlan lurched back. “Don’t touch me!”

Erwin looked frantic, like he didn’t know what to do or say. His usually immaculate hair was all over the place, which just made Farlan’s stomach twist even further, because he’d thought he was the only one who got to see Erwin like that.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Erwin eventually settled on. “I was just- I still love _you_.”

“Yeah, relax dude,” Reiner called out from where he was now sitting on the couch, stark naked and not at all ashamed. “We’re just having some fun. You can join us, if you want actually. I always thought you were pretty ho-”

“Get out,” Farlan interrupted suddenly, not caring that this wasn’t his house. Because Reiner was just sitting there, still fucking _stroking_ his dick like he was expecting the fuck to keep going after this.

“Wha…”

“Get the FUCK OUT!”

Erwin stared at him with wide eyes, but a second later was turning to Reiner. “You should go, Reiner.”

Reiner looked back and forth between them, before huffing and standing up. “Screw you guys. I’m showering first, assholes. Can’t go home smelling like this…”

He didn’t pay them another glance after that, simply walking across the room and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. A few seconds later, the sound of water running signalled the shower being turned on.

The moment it did, Farlan rounded on Erwin, blood roaring in his ears.

“How long?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How long?!” Farlan all but screamed. “How long have you been fucking him? And don’t you dare say this was the first time, not when he clearly knows his way around your house!”

Erwin stared him, before relenting. “Only the last few months. It was never-”

“_Months_?” Farlan could feel his eyes stinging. “Back when we- did you take him to the beach house? How many other men are there?”

“There’s no one else, I swear,” Erwin pleaded, reaching out for him, only to recoil when Farlan lurched back. “He was the only one, and I would never take him to our spot. It never meant anything, my love, I promise you.”

It was probably meant to remind him of their good times together, but now, hearing the words ‘my love’ come out of Erwin’s mouth, all Farlan wanted to do was vomit. He was already backing away, the first tears slipping over his cheeks.

“I- I have to go.”

“Please don’t! Come sit down, we can work this out.”

“Your cock is _still_ hard!”

At that, Erwin did pull back, suitably chastised. But after a second, his face morphed, and an ugly expression crossed his features that Farlan had never seen before.

“Do you have any idea how hard this has been for _me_?” he hissed. “Having to fall _in love_ with you, knowing that you’re leaving me?! Every time we’re together, you bring up that you’re leaving Trost, leaving me behind, like I’m nothing! Did you ever think about how that made me feel, how selfish you were being?!”

“I was going to stay for you, you asshole!” Farlan yelled, before he ran a hand through his hair, unable to believe what was happening. “Fucking hell, I was going to stay for you,” he repeated, more to himself this time, taking stock of what his life had become.

“You still can. Please, we can get through this. I know we can, my lo-”

“Don’t call me that,” Farlan rasped, turning to the door. “I-I need to go, we’re done.”

For a second, he thought that Erwin wouldn’t follow him, re-affirming every dark thought that had been flashing through his mind. That in reality, he didn’t really matter to the other man, that he was just another Reiner to him.

But then, as he threw open the door and went to leave, Erwin called out.

“You can’t tell anyone,” he said, making Farlan stop dead. “Please… don’t tell anyone.”

Farlan turned around slowly, feeling light-headed. “The fact that you gave up that quickly tells me all I need to know.”

It was the last thing he said, and this time, Erwin didn’t say anything as he left him behind.

***

**Now.**

“Congrats guys, you’re done!”

As a few people whooped in celebration around him, Eren smiled quietly. Somehow, he’d managed to pull a pass out of his ass for each of his science subjects. He’d stumbled through exams, but had made it nonetheless, and now, a month after the fundraiser, his first semester of Trost University was coming to an end.

They were in the GSA room, listening to Hanji as she addressed them at the end of semester party. All in all, it’d been a relatively tame affair, with little to no alcohol being present. By now, most of them were just glad to be done, after what had been an especially trying semester for everyone.

Levi hadn’t been seen for three weeks.

Hanji had been the one to break the news, after she’d gone over to Levi’s apartment the day after Eren had last seen him, only to find him missing. It was only after the police had been involved, though, that they’d been able to get inside the apartment to find it relatively untouched. Most of Levi’s possessions were still there, save for a substantial proportion of clothes being missing, which had led to the thought that he’d left of his own accord.

And despite the investigation that had still been opened, Eren knew that Levi had left voluntarily.

Kenny had told him shortly afterward that a substantial proportion of his… produce had been stolen, alongside a large stash of back-up cash. Very few people had known of its existence, but Levi had been one of them, given that he was heavily involved in dealing to the Trost University market. Kenny had been barely able to conceal his fury, and for a while Eren had been worried that it would blow back on him, but it hadn’t.

And oh yeah, that was a thing now. Kenny.

He’d made the decision to take Kenny up on his offer after he’d told Jean everything, if anything because Eren was tired of making decisions. He knew it was dangerous, but at this point, every choice he made was. And with Kenny, Eren at least had some level of assurance that he wouldn’t be left hanging, at least he thought so. From what he’d seen, Kenny had been loyal enough to Levi and had kept him safe, despite the tensions that had existed. He was a loyal man, if nothing else.

It was a gamble, but it was also his best option.

Mikasa and Armin had been against it, as he’d expected. Jean, surprisingly, hadn’t, after he’d explained everything. Like Eren, Jean was scared, scared of what Rod Reiss could do if he found out the truth about Erwin.

But all things considered, Jean had taken the news well. Almost too well.

After he’d finished explaining everything, Eren had felt more vulnerable than he ever had before, even more than when he’d been spread out under Erwin. But Jean had just stared at him with an unreadable expression, before placing a hand on him.

“Hey,” he’d said, when Eren had all but broken down, only realising the gravity of what he’d revealed after it was all done. “You’re okay. I, uh… I get it.”

“How?” Eren had croaked. “How can you be okay with this?”

“Because I like to think I’m a good judge of character. And you’re fucking _it_ okay? You’re as good as it gets, so shut up with this pity party and tell me what our next move is.”

It was better than Eren had hoped for. Better than he deserved, because Jean’s tough love was what he’d needed, even if he knew the other guy didn’t actually mean it.

And even now, as Eren glanced over to where Jean and Marco were huddled together, he couldn’t help but wonder how things had gotten to where they were now. Jean had told him that he’d already suspected Eren’s involvement with Erwin’s disappearance, and had actually been relieved to find out that the death had been in self-defence, at least in part. The explanation of what had happened to Farlan and Isabel had gone a long way into keeping him on side, Eren knew, and after talking it through with both Mikasa and Armin, Eren was more than confident that Jean was with them.

And well, no one had arrested him yet, so that was also a pretty big indicator.

He knew he didn’t deserve friends like this, given who he was. Mikasa and Armin had been a part of his life for almost as long as he could remember, but Jean Kirschtein had been a true blessing from above, someone that Eren truly couldn’t have seen coming, given how they’d first gotten off on the wrong foot.

And Eren was happy for him and Marco, truly. After everything that had happened, it was comforting to see true happiness. Of course, Eren would take every possible moment to obnoxiously remind everyone that _he_was the reason that they were even together in the first place. It was worth it, just to have Jean sneering at him the way he’d used to, for them to fall back into their old habits of sniping back and forth at each other.

It stopped Eren from having to pretend that he didn’t see Jean’s face cloud over in thought every now and then, as he likely grappled with having to hide such a massive secret from Marco.

As Jean and Marco continued to cuddle and whisper what were probably sickeningly sweet words to each other, Eren smiled and turned his gaze elsewhere. Connie and Sasha were stuffing way too many mini hotdogs into their mouths, and beside him, Mikasa smiled fondly at them. In the end, her and Sasha had never amounted into anything concrete, but there was something there, Eren could tell, and he was hoping it would continue to blossom.

The true blindside had been Armin, because at some point while supporting Eren’s downward spiral post-murder, he’d somehow managed to completely charm Annie. She’d even ended up coming with Eren and Mikasa to the airport to see him off, and Eren knew that they were still in contact. That in of itself had been an emotional day, and Eren had had to hold back tears as he’d hugged Armin goodbye, after all he’d done for him over the last few weeks.

“You better come back soon, yeah?” he’d croaked into Armin’s shoulder. “You have a girlfriend now, and she’s scary as fuck so I’ll send her after you if you don’t.”

Armin had laughed at that, albeit blushing at the mention of a girlfriend. “Like she’d let you boss her around.” A second later, though, his smile had vanished as he turned serious. “But even so, I’d still come back for _you_, Eren. We’re family, remember?”

Okay, so Eren had pretty much blubbered after that, even as he’d pulled back to let Mikasa say goodbye as well. Annie had given Armin a simple kiss on the cheek, her usual blank façade giving way for a rare smile for just a second. Armin had spent the night at her place last night, so they’d likely said their own farewells then but still, Eren found it sweet to see it again now.

It was a weird match, one he truly hadn’t seen coming, and Annie still intimidated the fuck out of him every time he talked to her. He’d have to get over that, if she was going to be a bigger part of his life going forward, given that she’d also officially moved into Bertholdt’s spare room to keep him company.

Reiner had been admitted to a psych ward in the city, and was still there now. Bertholdt had told them that he was doing better, but Eren could see the difficulty with which he’d relay the information. Eren had been by twice to see Reiner, but each time he went was just another cruel reminder of what he’d done, of the lives he’d ruined, so he kept his distance mostly.

“I also have some news,” Hanji was saying, before turning to Moblit and grabbing his hand. “Well, we both do.”

When a ripple of murmurs erupted across the room, she blushed. “Oh, not like that! Not yet, at least! I was just going to announce that we’ve been accepted into the Liberio University exchange program, so Moblit and I going to be spending our last semester studying overseas in Marley.”

There was a congratulatory clap, and Eren joined in, even if he was a bit disappointed himself. He liked Hanji, and Moblit too, and to see them go would be sad. But he knew that Hanji was an aspiring chemist and Moblit was majoring in computer sciences. And simply put, the universities overseas in Marley had resources available that Trost simply did not, so in that aspect he was happy for them.

“Mike’s gonna be taking over the GSA leadership next semester, so give him hell,” Moblit added, slapping the man in question on the back.

As the people around him continued to congratulate Hanji and Moblit, Eren turned his attention to the couple in the corner of the room. Ymir and Historia were nestled in their usual loveseat, the one Ymir would glare daggers from if anyone came remotely close to them. Like Marco and Jean, they were whispering to each other while listening to Hanji, and Eren could see Historia’s lips curve upward in amusement at something her girlfriend had said.

As if sensing the eyes on her, Historia glanced his way a second later. Her smile dipped only a little as she held his gaze, before Eren looked away after a few moments.

She’d never ended up talking to him one-on-one, in the end. In fact, after his first meeting with Reiss, Eren had never heard from him again. Of course, he’d accepted Kenny’s offer soon after that, but even so, Reiss had clearly been okay with leaving well enough alone, for now at least. Eren wasn’t naïve enough to think that that was it, but Historia had never approached him either, so he hadn’t bothered to ask her why not. From the few interactions they’d had as part of a group, she’d been polite, if slightly strained, but Eren couldn’t say he blamed her.

“I know this semester has been a… challenging one for most of us,” Hanji continued, glancing particularly at Bertholdt, and then briefly Eren’s way. “There were some true tragedies, but we got through them. And when Reiner’s ready to come back, I know you will all be there for him.”

The group murmured their agreement, and Eren watched as Annie placed a hand on Bertholdt’s thigh.

No one mentioned Levi.

Eren could understand why. The circumstances surrounding his disappearance were shady at best. It was different to Erwin’s, who’s life had publicly crashed and burned over the week leading up to his own vanishing. And Hanji had been able to corroborate Eren’s story to the police, that Levi had mentioned leaving Trost for over a year now. Detective Pixis had taken that case as well, and Eren could tell that the man likely suspected there was a link between Levi and Erwin, but so far, the investigation had turned up nothing. Wherever Levi had run off to, he’d managed to do so with enough resources and forward planning to make sure there was a single trace of a trail left behind.

He still thought them both, most days. Levi and Erwin. It was hard not to, all things considered.

As far as Erwin went, a lot of those thoughts were negative, of course. But he also couldn’t help but remember the good times, like the awkward way they’d met upon his arrival in Trost, to Eren shamelessly hitting on Erwin at the gym or teasing him about his elaborate coffee choices. It seemed like a lifetime ago, that Eren had chased after him, all doe-eyed and naïve. Now, Erwin Smith was just another missing face around campus, plastered up on posters that people barely gave the time of day to.

Pixis came by to see him, every now and then. The investigation was still open, but he could tell that the detective was frustrated with the lack of leads, both for Erwin and Levi. The rareness of his visits also told Eren that he wasn’t one of the prime suspects, which was comforting, especially given how close he’d apparently been to Levi prior to his departure.

Kenny had talked about getting rid of Pixis, which had surprised Eren, because the detective seemed to be one of the few people _not_ on Kenny’s payroll. But he’d refused Kenny’s offer, mostly because Pixis wasn’t close to catching them for now.

Eren also didn’t want to know what Kenny’s version of “getting rid” of someone was.

It’d actually surprised Eren, how little hurt he’d felt from Levi’s disappearing act. For days afterward, he’d waited for the emotions to come, to feel anger or betrayal or even longing for him, but it hadn’t risen. Instead, there had just been a dull emptiness left behind, like a gaping, numb hole.

Naturally, Mikasa hadn’t lost too much sleep about it.

As Hanji wrapped up her speech, Mikasa knocked shoulders against him.

“You okay?”

Glancing her way, Eren smiled. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“About how you need to cut your hair?”

Eren laughed, running a hand through it. His hair _was_ getting longer, a by-product of being too busy and stressed to worry about getting it cut. Right now, it was in that awkward, shaggy phase where it was both too long and too short at the same time. But honestly, Eren kind of liked it, almost as much as he liked annoying Mikasa, who definitely did _not_ like it.

Still, he shrugged. “Nah, not about that.”

“Then about what?”

“Levi,” Eren answered truthfully, because he was done lying to her. When Mikasa frowned, he continued. “Not like that, ‘Kasa. Was just thinking about how much things have changed, since we first started, y’know?”

For once, he wasn’t talking about murder or disappearances, and Mikasa seemed to get that.

“Yeah, things really have changed,” she replied. She smiled again as Sasha crowed in victory upon beating Connie at their hotdog eating competition. “Some of it was good, though, right?”

Looking around the room, Eren watched as Hanji joked with Petra and Eld, and how Jean and Marco continued to stare at each other with love heart eyes. Connie had just challenged Sasha to a rematch, and Bertholdt was managing as smile as Annie said something to him.

“Yeah,” he said after a bet. “Some of it was.”

***

Eren left the party an hour later, after he got a call from Kenny.

Granted, Kenny wanted to see him at 9pm, and it was only 8 now. But Eren also had another destination in mind, one that he’d been working up the courage to visit for weeks.

There was still some light left in the sky by the time Eren made it out to the outskirts of Trost, enough that he could make out the abandoned pumping station as he parked his new car. A gift from Kenny, although likely linked to the work he’d be picking up in the future.

Before he got out, he reached over to the passenger seat and grabbed the small box sitting there, the one that’d spent the last few weeks under his bed. He hadn’t had the guts to open it earlier, but now, Eren was ready to move on.

Eren didn’t really know where exactly he was going, not when he hadn’t actually been there when Mikasa, Armin and Levi had scattered the remains of Erwin’s body. Armin had talked about potentially recovering the remains and incinerating them, but in the end, they’d decided that it was better to leave them be. There didn’t seem to be in any danger of the burial sites being discovered, and doing anything dramatic like digging Erwin up would just put more of a target on their backs.

For a second, Eren had actually considered asking Armin where best to go for this, but eventually decided against it, knowing that his friend would just worry more if he knew Eren was going back.

Besides, given that Erwin didn’t have a single… place of rest, there wasn’t much point choosing somewhere specific.

In the end, he settled on a small outcrop that overlooked the city. It wasn’t exactly where he’d gone with Levi, all those weeks ago, but it wasn’t far off. It was quiet, with a few small trees growing that made the place a little prettier. It wasn’t perfect, but then again, neither was Erwin. So it would do.

Knowing he didn’t have the most amount of time, Eren moved to sit down on the ground, before hesitantly clearing his throat.

“Um… I don’t really know what to say. I feel a little stupid, actually” he said to the empty air around him. “Erwin… you weren’t who I thought you were, but you deserve this, at the least. You deserve to rest.”

Because of the circumstances surrounding Erwin’s disappearance, Eren knew that most people suspected that he’d run. And from a quick google of the case, he’d seen an interview from Erwin’s father, saying that he wouldn’t give up hope. Which meant that there hadn’t been a funeral, of course, and there probably wouldn’t be for some time.

Which meant that even if Erwin had turned out to be a predator and a killer, it was only right that Eren help to see him off. From one monster to another, and all that.

“You must’ve been a troubled person,” Eren eventually continued, “to kill them. But I get it, even if I can’t forgive what you did. I hope… I hope that you can forgive me, though. And I hope that wherever you are, you’ve found peace.”

He didn’t say anything more after that, instead just reaching for the package, which he’d placed on the ground beside him. It was light, and after a moment’s hesitation, Eren tore the seal on the lid off and opened it.

Oh.

He should’ve expected the collar, really. But it still hit him deep, seeing the black leather that had all but commanded him weeks ago. It made him laugh a bit, because the collar just personified his relationship with Erwin perfectly.

Next to it was a folded piece of paper, which Eren picked up first.

_Eren._

_I can’t explain myself for my absence these last two weeks, so instead I offer you this. Not just to remind you of the short time we spent together, but to give you the power to decide what comes next._

_I’ve done a lot of thinking since we saw each other last, and I’m ready to tell you everything._

_I will be waiting for you, if you’ll have me._

_With love, Erwin_

Eren swallowed thickly, putting the note back into the box. It’d been about what he’d expected, but it still stung. Because honestly, Eren didn’t know whether he was better off with Erwin dead or alive. Just a few weeks ago, Eren would’ve killed to hear that Erwin still saw a future with him, that it wasn’t over. But now he couldn’t imagine what would’ve come next. What would’ve happened, if he’d gone back to Erwin, ignorant of what the man had done.

Would Eren have followed Farlan and Isabel’s fate?

He shook his head, because there was no point going down that path, not when he’d made it an impossibility. Erwin was a killer and was now dead, and Eren was better off moving on.

So he picked up the collar again, shivering slightly at the feel of the leather against his skin. With the amount of trees around, it didn’t take long to find one that was the right girth, one that Eren could wrap the collar around. It actually looked good, the leather against the dark bark, and Eren smiled, because at the very least, he could give Erwin this.

He didn’t say goodbye in some dramatic way after that, instead just quietly picking up the discarded box and walking back to his car. On his way, Eren couldn’t help but think of what Levi had told him, the time he’d first brought Eren to this place.

“_Stop thinking about what some guy wants of you, and just do what you want to do_.”

He was right. For all this time, Eren had spent his time worrying about Erwin or Levi or Reiner or someone else, when really, he didn’t need any of them. He had his own life to live, his own friends to think about, one that couldn’t be dominated by chasing after some guy.

For so long, Eren had felt that emptiness inside him, and had assumed that a man would fix that. And while that emptiness was still there, Eren was beginning to realise that maybe it was just a part of him, and he should be learning to accept it rather than try to fill it.

At the very least, Levi and Erwin had taught him that.

As Eren sat back down in his car, he checked his phone. He still had some time before he was due to meet Kenny, but as he unlocked his home screen, he was surprised to see that he had two missed calls.

Checking the first number, which was an unknown caller, Eren opened the voicemail and put the phone to his ear.

“Hello, Eren. It’s Nile. I… I know you don’t want to speak to me, and I can understand why. I know you think I’m the reason Erwin left, especially after how everything turned out. And I’ll respect your decision but just know that… I miss him too. I’ll be here, if you want to talk. Uh, take care.”

Again, it was nothing new. Nile had been granted tenure in the end, the very same position that he and Erwin had been competing for. And despite everything, Eren was happy for him, now that he knew that the guy wasn’t all that bad. But he couldn’t engage with him, not when he had to keep up the façade of ignorance surrounding Erwin’s past.

Eren also knew that Connie had decided to do another history subject the next semester, one that was being taught by Nile. If he was being honest, he was concerned that the two seemed to be getting closer, but that was a problem for another day. For now, Nile Dok was no longer a priority.

The second voicemail did have a name attached to it, and Eren sighed in annoyance as he listened to it.

“Good evening, Eren. This is Detective Pixis with the Trost Police Force. I hope you’re well. I was hoping to organise a time to talk more with you in the future. Nothing to be worried about, my boy, just some routine questions that-”

Eren hung up, before putting his phone down. It was more of the same, just another sign that despite everything, he couldn’t relax quite yet. Pixis wasn’t on to him, but he clearly was keeping Eren in the picture.

It was just another person to add to his list of people to dodge, it seemed.

He’d get through out. With Mikasa, Armin and Jean by his side, Eren knew that he would. So he tucked his phone back into his pocket, before starting his car. It was probably about time he got to meeting Kenny for a job that had been discussed.

Eren had a new life to get to.

***

As the night in the GSA room began to wrap up, Jean yawned.

“Getting tired?” Marco asked from in his arms.

“Yeah, think I might call it a night soon.”

The GSA party had mostly died down by now, with a large portion of the group having left. Jean knew that many of them were driving home to see their respective families over the coming days, now that the semester was over. Marco was included in the group, actually, and Jean looked his way.

“You wanna stay at mine tonight? I think Eren’s out.”

Marco shook his head. “I probably shouldn’t. I have to pack and then I have an early start tomorrow in order to get home.”

It made sense, even if Jean was a little disappointed. “I’ll come see you off tomorrow?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”

They kissed briefly, and once again, Jean smiled as he basked in how lucky he was. He knew that most of their friends, particularly Eren, had given them shit for how long they’d taken to get together, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Their time together had been special, both before and after getting together, and now Jean looked back on their initial awkward exchanges as a fond memory.

Even his initial rejection was something he couldn’t regret, not when he knew that it was based on Marco’s insecurities. Sure, it was something that had caused Jean pain, but something beautiful had blossomed out of it.

He and Eren had also stopped fooling around, of course.

It’d been an adjustment, dealing with Eren post-reveal. Jean had no one to blame but himself, of course, given how he’d all but forced the truth out of the kid. But sometimes he still wished he’d remained ignorant to the conspiracies and crime networks at play, even if just so that he didn’t have to hold back a little bit of himself when he was with Marco.

But he’d meant was he’d said, to Eren all those weeks ago. He was in for the long haul, and he knew that the guy wasn’t a bad person, no matter what he thought about himself.

That was why it was down to him and Mikasa, not to mention Armin as well, to keep Eren’s head on straight for him.

Marco ended up leaving the party a little after that, kissing Jean one last time before saying goodbye to everyone else. Feeling tired himself, Jean had been about to leave as well, when he noticed Mikasa by herself.

“Hey,” he greeted, as he sat down next to her. “Where’s Eren?”

Mikasa frowned. “He had to go. A… job opportunity came up.”

He knew what she meant by that, and Jean’s stomach coiled a little at the thought of it.

Still, he hung around with Mikasa for a little longer, before they both decided to call it a night.

“I’ll walk you home, okay?” he said to her as they left, after saying goodbye to everyone else.

Mikasa glanced at him, an eyebrow raised. “You know if we did get into trouble, you’d only weigh me down, right?”

“Ugh, just try and help me preserve my masculinity a little bit, why don’t you?”

That got a small laugh from her, and Jean counted it as a victory. The initial attraction he’d felt for her upon their first meeting was still there, mostly because he had eyes more than anything. But he also knew more about her now, both from Eren and Mikasa herself, enough to know that because of how she’d grown up, dating a guy was something she just wasn’t comfortable with yet.

Not to mention, Jean was in love with Marco, and wouldn’t trade that for the world. Besides, he’d come to love Mikasa as a friend, more than anything.

They continued to talk as they made their way out of the building. However, as they reached the exit to the building, Jean was surprised to find someone waiting for them.

While he didn’t know everything that had gone on this semester, he knew that Eren and Mikasa were slightly wary of Historia, and he saw Mikasa stiffen a little when she recognised her. Upon seeing them appear, Historia pushed herself off the wall she’d been leaning against, looking almost out of place without Ymir lurking by her side.

Jean hadn’t even noticed her leave the party.

“Jean,” Historia said, a trademark innocent smile on her face. “I was wondering if I could speak to Mikasa for a little while, please?”

He went to reply, but Mikasa beat him to it. “He can stay.”

She didn’t elaborate, but the words spoke for themselves, and a second later Historia’s eyes widened momentarily in understanding. That same doe-eyed smile was gone a second later.

“I see,” she said slowly, looking back and forth between them. As if making up her mind, she continued. “My father was… disappointed to hear that Eren didn’t reach after their talk.”

“He was busy,” Mikasa replied, sounding nonchalant, but Jean could tell that every fibre of her body was tensed.

“I’m sure he was. I hope he’s doing okay. I’ve heard he’s taken on some extra work.”

“What to do you want, Historia?”

Mikasa’s words cut through the thinly veiled polite exchange, and Historia’s eye narrowed slightly, but only for a second. Still, she didn’t bother beating around the bush after that, instead reaching into her pocket.

“I thought you would benefit from seeing this, Mikasa. Before you thought twice about who you’ve gotten into bed with.”

She was holding a USB, her hand outstretched towards them. Jean had stayed silent during the exchange, and remained so, knowing that despite being in on the secret, he was out of his depth. If what Eren and Mikasa said were true, then the Reiss’ didn’t know that Eren was responsible for Erwin’s disappearance, but it was clear now that Historia at the very least had something to say about it.

Mikasa stared at the USB suspiciously, then back up to Historia. “Why aren’t you giving this to Eren?”

“We both know that he’s too stubborn to listen, once he’s got his mind set on something,” she answered, and Jean looked back and forth between the two. “But you’re logical, Mikasa. You’ll listen to reason.”

“… I choose whatever Eren chooses.”

Historia’s smile turned thin. “Oh, I know. I’m just hoping you’ll help to guide that choice, so that you both make the right decision.”

She dropped the USB into Mikasa’s hand, who had reluctantly offered it up to accept the device. Historia then walked past them, back in the direction of the GSA room.

“I want you to be on the right side of this. All of you,” she said after a beat, glancing Jean’s way.

And then Historia was turning the corner, no doubt returning to her girlfriend, all smiles and laughter once again.

Jean stood in silence with Mikasa for a few moments, both of them mulling over the exchange. Eventually, Jean gestured to Mikasa’s hand, which was now clenching the USB tightly.

“What do you think it is?”

“Whatever it is, I don’t think we’re going to like it,” Mikasa answered, looking grim.

***

**Before.**

The sound of fists pounding on his door brought Farlan back to reality.

In a daze, he got up from where he’d crumpled on the floor, wiping his eyes and sniffling wetly. He didn’t even know how he’d managed to get back to his apartment without collapsing in a heap, but he’d done it somehow. Once he’d gotten inside, all the energy had left his body at once, and he’d fallen to the ground right then and there, his body shaking with silent gasps.

But now, as he heard his name being shouted from the other side of the door, Farlan’s brain caught up to him. He’d missed Levi’s birthday dinner, that much he was aware of. He had no idea what time it was, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care, not when his life had just been upheaved in a single instant.

Still, he made his way to the door, fingers still shaking slightly as he unlocked it from the inside.

“Finally, what the fuck, F! I’m gonna ki- Oh my god, are you okay?”

Isabel had stopped mid-rant, her face flashing from anger to confusion to worry in a split-second. Farlan was pretty sure he looked like a mess, his hair sticking up in all directions from where he’d had his fingers pulling through it, and he could feel that his nose was running.

“I- he-” he tried to get out, only for his voice to catch and a sob to rack his body. “Erwin was- he cheated, Iz.”

And then he was crying again, and Isabel was stepping forward to wrap him in a tight hug. Even though she was shorter than him by a fair bit, Farlan collapsed into her like a dead body, sniffling into her shoulder as she let him cry.

Eventually, he pulled back, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. “Fuck, sorry…”

“It’s okay,” she said immediately, her face soft and open. “What happened?”

By the time Farlan was done explaining, Isabel was livid.

“I’m going to kill him. Come on.”

“Wha- where are we going?”

“To Levi’s,” she replied. “You shouldn’t be alone right now, F. Unless you don’t…”

“No,” Farlan sniffed. “He should… I should tell him. Is he pissed that I missed his birthday dinner?”

Isabel’s face said it all. “We’ll explain everything to him when we get there. Come on, I walked here, so we’ll take your car to his place. It’s down in the parking lot, right?”

Farlan nodded, before pausing. “Wait, I just… I should probably wash my face and clean up a bit.” He gestured to himself, and the wet snot stains on his arms from wiping his nose.

“No worries,” Isabel replied as she nodded in agreement. “I’ll get the car started and meet you downstairs, okay? Take your time.”

She left after he gave her the key, and Farlan took a few seconds to steady his breathing, before making his way to the bathroom. He took the time to splash his face a few times, before looking at himself in the mirror.

Was Erwin right? Had he caused this, by not committing to one choice about moving and instead letting Erwin stew in his insecurities? Farlan had been focused on himself for so long, that he hadn’t even considered what his constant flightiness was doing to the people around him, whether it was Erwin or Isabel and Levi.

Even though he told himself it was wrong to think that way, he couldn’t help but hate himself for it. For all his thoughts about Levi not being able to communicate effectively and being self-destructive, he’d doomed this relationship from the start by seeding doubt in Erwin’s mind.

Letting out a shaky breath, Farlan made his way out of the bathroom, before moving to his room, so that he could change his shirt. After that, he made his way to the door, making sure to lock it behind him, before heading down the stairwell that led to the parking lot.

He hated this place. He wanted to get out of Trost as soon as he could.

By the time Farlan had made his way down to the parking lot, he was shivering. More time had passed since he’d gotten home than he’d realised, as there was no one else around in the lot.

His car wasn’t turned on, which was odd, despite the fact that he could see Isabel sitting in the driver’s seat from here. He’d given her his key, so the fact that she hadn’t started the car yet was weird.

Opening the passenger door, he slung himself in.

“Sorry I took so long, I needed to… Oh fu- Iz?”

He didn’t notice the blood until he’d sat down next to her, but even in the dark of the night it was unmistakable. Isabel’s eyes were still wide open and staring blankly ahead as her mouth hung open in a silent scream. Her head had lolled to the side, blood still dripping down her neck from the gaping smile that had been cut into it.

But Farlan couldn’t even scream, because a hand was wrapping around him from behind, covering his mouth. Warm breath crept over the back of his neck as a bone-chilling chuckle sounded in his ear.

“It was meant to be just you tonight, but I always hated the bitch anyway. And you know, in for a penny, in for a pound.”

Then there was a cold trace over his neck, and suddenly his chest was warm, wetness gushing all over him and Farlan could only look down at himself, covered in red. He couldn’t scream, and as he lifted his head, which felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, he stared dumbly into the rear-view mirror.

In the back seat of the car, Kenny Ackerman was smiling, a hushing finger pressed against his lips.

And then there was nothing.

***

**Now.**

“Oh my god.”

Jean was the first one to speak, as he and Mikasa watched the rest of the security footage play out on his laptop. From the angle of the security camera, they could just see a tall, thin man, wearing a fucking cowboy hat of all things, climbing out of the backseat of the car.

It was also possible to just see the two motionless bodies, slumped in the front two seats.

The man signalled something with his right hand, and then suddenly two other people, both wearing balaclavas, appeared in view. Jean watched as they opened the front doors, before hauling the bodies out and moving them into the back seats.

And then, the men were hopping into the car and driving it out of view of the security camera, leaving sole killer alone.

“Who is it,” Jean asked.

“It’s Kenny Ackerman,” Mikasa said. “I know it.”

Then that meant…

“Erwin didn’t do it,” Jean breathed, his eyes aghast. “He was innocent, all this ti- Oh god, Eren…”

They stood in silence, watching the rest of the footage play, with the figure never once turning to face the camera front on.

But it was clear. Erwin hadn’t been the murderer.

Fuck. Eren had been on the verge of self-destructing after killing Erwin, and that was still when Erwin had been thought to be a predator and a murderer himself. But if what Mikasa said was true, then he was none of those things. Granted, the guy had clearly made some poor life choices by sleeping with and cheating on students. And on the night of his death Erwin had clearly been on the edge of his rope, attacking Connie and Bertholdt and Levi. But he’d never been the killer they’d all thought he was.

“Eren can never know.”

Even though Mikasa had been the one to speak aloud, Jean was right there, on the same train of thought. And when he saw the sad glimmer in her eyes, he knew that this time, _they_ would be the ones with the secret.

Historia had given them the footage to dissuade Eren from joining up with a murderer, not knowing that he himself had just committed the very same act. She’d wanted Mikasa and Jean to use to convince Eren that the Reiss’ were a better option, but they could never tell Eren that.

If he found out, it would destroy him.

***

**Epilogue 1**

“What were you thinking, Historia?”

Her father’s words washed over her, tight-lipped and disapproving. And Historia _did_ feel the pressure to buckle, how could she not when half her family was looking at her the way they were? Her father had showed her that footage in the first place in order to convince her that Kenny Ackerman was a dangerous man. But she couldn’t just leave her friends in the dark, not when they were getting into bed with that very same person.

She just hoped Mikasa would be able to get Eren to see reason.

In front of her, Rod Reiss was clearly waiting for a response. When none came, he sighed and continued.

“It was foolish to disclose that information to the Yeager girl. For all we know, she’ll have taken it directly to Kenny, and then he’ll be aware of the extent of our resources. You’ve tipped our hand far too early, Historia.”

“_He’s_ the one that killed them!” Historia shot back, feeling fire burn through her. “Why are you so worried about it getting out? We can just send that video to the police, and then Ackerman will be taken down!”

“It’s not that simple, you foolish girl. We-”

“That’s enough, father.”

The interruption was calm and collected, and both Historia and her father turned to the woman who’d spoken. Up until now, Frieda Reiss had remained silent as Historia had been chastised, but now she was standing up from her own chair and walking towards her.

“Frieda…” Rod muttered from his own place, eyes downcast.

“We can’t afford to turn against one another,” Frieda continued, walking towards Historia. “We can only assume that Erwin _has_ been taken out of the equation, which means that our job has become that much more difficult.”

As Frieda reached her, Historia couldn’t help but duck her head, feeling ashamed. In truth, she didn’t really care about what her father thought of her, but Frieda was different. Ever since she’d found out Historia existed, Frieda had been there for her. She’d been the one to bring Historia into the fold, to make her feel welcomed and loved.

Historia didn’t want to disappoint her. Except that she had.

A hand cupped her cheek, and Historia looked up, eyes slightly wet. But Frieda was staring down at her with a kind smile.

“Do you truly think there’s any chance that Eren was involved? That he might know something?”

Historia swallowed, before replying truthfully. “No. He’s with Kenny because Levi got him involved, not Erwin. I can’t believe that he had something to do with this.”

Even though she believed it, Historia couldn’t help but feel a little doubt when Frieda frowned. Turning back to their father, Frieda continued.

“Then we’re back to square one.” She pulled away from Historia’s face, turning to face the rest of the room. “It’s a setback, but it’s not the end. We _will_ win this war, and make Trost the city it was always meant to be.”

Despite her vulnerable state, Historia couldn’t help but glow with pride on behalf of her sister.

Frieda would lead them through this to a better world, she just knew it.

***

**Epilogue 2**

After arriving home, Yelena stripped off went straight to the shower.

By the time the warm water was hitting her body, the cramped muscles of her back had begun to unknot, and she sighed as she closed her eyes and basked in the feeling.

Yelena had never enjoyed travelling for work, and this time she’d been gone a month too long.

Though she didn’t miss the bathroom door open behind her, despite her relaxed state.

When arms wrapped around her from behind, she leant back into the touch, letting a rare smile grace her features. Her back pressed a strong, muscular chest, as the arms wrapped around her began to roam further down the front of her body.

“How was your trip?”

The question was accompanied by a bite against the shell of her right ear, and she sucked in a harsh breath. As the hands slid between her legs, Yelena rested further into the embrace of her husband.

“As expected. You were correct, my love.”

Behind her, Zeke Yeager smiled.

***

**Epilogue 3**

As he sipped his tea, Levi watched the waves crash onto the shore in front of him.

Honestly, the view was nothing special.

A few seagulls landed on his porch, making Levi frown when they didn’t take off again. He’d just spent the last day cleaning the front terrace of all the bird shit, and he didn’t really want to do it again so soon.

He tried shooting the seagulls a glare, but they didn’t budge, the little shits.

Behind him, footsteps announced that the arrival he’d been expecting.

“You didn’t need to stop in to check on me,” Levi said, not taking his eyes away from the sea and the damned birds.

“Well we’re flying out of Karanes, so it wasn’t much trouble to stop by on our way there. And don’t pretend you’re not happy to see me, _Nicholas_.”

Levi frowned at the mention of his new name. He hated it.

He also know that she’d chosen it for that very reason, which only pissed him off more.

“Well you’ve checked in, so best be on your way,” he said after a bit, even though he knew she wouldn’t listen.

“After all I’ve done for you, I’m wounded! I see that the documents held up to inspection, though? I told you my guy was the best.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

He didn’t bother to tell her thanks, not when she already knew she had it.

A moment later, the air turned sombre.

“He’s doing well, you know. I mean, as well as you can be doing, working for Kenny. I have someone watching him, just like you asked. He won’t be in any danger.”

Levi didn’t bother replying to that. He hadn’t asked about Eren, hadn’t wanted to know. The kid was better off without him in the picture.

He’d hoped that Eren wouldn’t have joined up with Kenny, but also knew that ironically, it was probably the safest place for him. He was smart, smarter than Levi at least, and was charming enough to work _with_ Kenny rather than cause friction like Levi had.

He could practically feel her holding herself back from continuing. She’d never been good at hiding her true feelings.

“For what it’s worth,” she said eventually. “I think you did the right thing. After what happened to… them, you deserve to think about yourself for once and not worry about someone else. You deserve to be free.”

Sighing, Levi put his tea down and turned around.

Hanji smiled sadly, and Levi wondered if this was what being free was.

_Fin_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's it for this one. For a while I didn't think I'd actually finish this damn thing, so it's crazy to think that it actually happened. I've never written a multi-chapter fic this big before, and to be honest, all the feedback and comments go be through it. You guys are the best, so thank you so much! There's some people that have been commenting regularly since chapter 1 as well, so again, thank you so so much.
> 
> (And yes, I know I'm evil by making Erwin not be the murderer, and just leading to more inevitable torture for Eren. I couldn't resist, especially when he's just joined up with the ACTUAL murderer!)
> 
> As for the sequel, it's coming. Not quickly, but I am actively writing it. At this stage, I'm probably more invested in this story than any of you lol, so keep an eye out for more from me in the future.
> 
> As for content of the sequel, you can expect Eren to be dealing more closely with the Kenny/Reiss side of things and likely fucking his way through the other half of the GSA at the same time. As you can see, some side characters like Historia will be playing a more prominent role in the future, and Mikasa and Jean now have a secret of their own to keep from Eren.
> 
> Oh, and of course… another murder.
> 
> That's enough rambling from me. Until next time!


End file.
